My Wife Pregnant By Other Guy
I am married for 14 months, she had a relationship with another guy. And now she is 9 weeks pregnant, with another mans child, I am not sure if I can raise another mans child, should I divorce, should I ask for an abortion, or should I take the challenge God has given me. I Love my wife and have forgiven her.
Moderator - Stay married and get immediate counseling.
Join Our Free Dating and Take The Dating & Marriage Quiz
---Leon on 10/14/09
Helpful Blog Vote (46)
Leon, whoever you are, I believe again that Eloy is wrong. God has given you a challenge. God is dealing with your decisions and your own life. Just as He is dealing with hers. But here the challenge is for you, what will you do? Will you forgive as God asks us to, or will you keep that unforgiveness to hunt you the rest of your life? Even if your wife died, it would still hunt you. it would not effect her while dead but it would effect you. Unforgiveness effects us individually. We want the other to feel shame as if we are God. And people are not happy without seeing that shame in others who hurt us. So it does effect you. She also has a challenge, what will she do?
---Mark_V. on 1/23/12|
God has not given you any challenge, your flesh has, for God has zero to do with your wives adultery. Perhaps you could get yourself a really large bed and "be challenged" to invite your whole neighborhood to sleep together...I'm reflecting your foolishness.
---Eloy on 1/20/12|
Leon said to me, "He also sees & has made a way of forgiveness for your sin too?"
I know that very well, otherwise I couldn't tell others the same thing.
I was responding to a Leon statement that needed to know how God forgives. I am glad that it turned out it was not you.
---Elder on 1/19/12|
someone did exactly the same t me when I questioned divorce 4-5 years ago. Oh did it sweet the haters who all jumped on the bandwagon telling me to forgive my husband and practice what I preach.
Annoying but a good joke that brought out how evil some that answered was and just how vindictive their answers were, thinking I'b be so out of my mind to post help with divorce lol and I mean lol...
---Carla on 1/9/12|
This is a bogus, fabricated, cut & pasted, phony blog. Read thru it & you'll see respondents address "Jim" & then "Leon". Jim is the white, racist originator of the blog. I'm Leon, the black victim slandered on this blog.
Something is rotten in Houston (CN headquarters)!
---Leon on 1/9/12|
Thanks Mark! As scripture says, the devil goes about like a roaring lion seeking who he may devour. He's the father of all liars & slanderers, etc. Posing as a christian, he has long been a subtle, deceptive character on CN blogs. I witnessed his presence from the day I became an active blogger.
Again, thanks & peace to you brother!!! Sincerely, the real, one & only CN blogger named LEON. :)
---Leon on 1/9/12|
Leon, I know there are some who use someone else's name many times. But the blog really seems like whoever wrote it, wanted everyone to thing it was you. I know I did. But I understand where you are coming from with your answer. Sometimes we cannot conceive how far some people here will go to damage someone else. I have witnessed that myself only from one person. Glad everything is ok from your side. Thanks for letting us know, Peace brother.
---Mark_V. on 1/8/12|
"Aren't you glad that God forgives your sin?
---Elder on 12/19/11"
Yes, I'm exceedingly glad & grateful for His abundant grace & mercy thru the shed blood of His Son Jesus Christ. How about you since He also sees & has made a way of forgiveness for your sin too?
---Leon on 1/7/12|
Months ago, someone posted his wife was sexing with two or more black men & was pregnant. He wanted to know what to do about her & the "black child".
My name is "Leon". I've been posting on CN for about 8 years. Since then, I've not seen or read a blog by any other "Leon" besides myself. I'm an African-American, baby-boomer, grandfather ~ NOT the alleged Leon who posted this blog. I really don't believe anyone named Leon posted this blog. I do believe the devil is a liar & father of all liars, & the perpetrators of this lie will have their place in the lake of fire with him!
The operative word for this subtle, devilish attempt to assas"sin"ate my character is SIN...
---Leon on 1/7/12|
Leon, I know it's been a few years now since you put the question up so I wanted to ask you, what did you do after all? It seemed to me by your answer, you had the answer all along. You said,
"Should I take the chellenge God has given me?"
If you felt God had given you a challenge and you did had to ask us what to do, that was not the right thing to ask us. You should listen to God. I hope you did that, Blessings and peace.
---Mark_V. on 12/20/11|
Leon, why would you want to take your anger and hurt out on the poor little child. His/her life will be hard enough because of the mother's sin. The child will need to see that people can be forgiven of sin. That action will prove that there is still love in this wicked world. By the way, Joseph raised a child that was not his. Look at what that person did for the world and mankind. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.....
Aren't you glad that God forgives your sin?
---Elder on 12/19/11|
Jim: Adultery is wrong whether it is with a white or black man. Having another man's child while pregnant is wrong whether the child is white or black. It's just as bad.
You sound racist.
What your wife did was adultery, and sin. It doesn't matter if she had adultery with a black or white man, it's still the same sin.
---Trish on 12/20/11|
I'm sorry to hear that. Of course, it would have been just as bad if the three men would have been white.
---StrongAxe on 11/28/11
StrongAxe, how do you figure?
---Jim on 12/18/11|
Has your infidel wife repented of her adultery? She may have contracted sexually transmitted diseases from the other man, like venereal disease or herpes or gonorrhea or aids.
---Eloy on 11/28/11|
I'm sorry to hear that. Of course, it would have been just as bad if the three men would have been white (although possibly not quite as obvious).
---StrongAxe on 11/28/11|
JIM: It is good now that you know the fact of the matter. I was one of those saying you should be calm until you do a DNA test. You have tried by taking it in a matured way, it is not an easy experience. Was she coerced into it or drunk?
---Adetunji on 11/28/11|
My wife cheated on me a couple months ago with three black men all at the same time. The only way I found out is because she got pregnant and I thought it was mine during the whole pregnancy. Until the baby was born and it was black. Other bloggers on this site were so rediculous they tried to convince me it was possible for my wife and I (who are white) to have a black baby. They even went as far as suggesting I have some impurities in my blood line as well, and that was what caused the baby to be black. How absurd! Anyways, the truth finally came out when she confessed to sleeping with three black me at the same time and she doesn't even know which one is the father. We are in the proccess of a divorce.
---Jim on 11/27/11|
Why should anybody's race have anything to do with it?
---StrongAxe on 11/27/11|
You did not mention if you and your wife are black or white. And is the other man black or white? This will pivitol in determining what you do.
---Jim on 11/24/11|
Ur so lucky. If my wife is doing like i accept that.
---rahul on 11/24/11|
Leon, Is your wife a Christian, or rather, does she profess to be a Christian? If she does, has she truly repented and sought forgiveness from GOD and you? If so, do you want to stay with her? Does she want to remain married to you? You both must be on the same page regarding GOD and being (both) dedicated to HIM firstly. By all means DO NOT have the baby aborted!!!! Give the child up for adoption, at least, if you both do not agree to raise it. Abortion really is horrendous evil in the Sight of GOD. Whatever you do that is Right, will not be easy. Of course, seek GOD for HIS Guidance and Wisdom and trust HIM to send it to you by whatever means.
---Gordon on 8/30/10|
Numbers 5:27 And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, [that], if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, [and become] bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people.
Numbers 5:28 And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean, then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed.
Numbers 5:29 This [is] the law of jealousies, when a wife goeth aside [to another] instead of her husband, and is defiled,
Numbers 5:31 Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity.
---francis on 8/29/10|
I have been in that situation and I love the child I raised.
---Mark on 8/27/10|
I am in the same situation.
The boy is already 1 year old almost 2 and i truly love him just as I truy love my wife. I have forgiven her a long time it happened before the marriage. At the moment we are married and I requested for a divorce and my family suggested that i renounce the name, the true father already is caring but i care too, he still has my name.
I am divided inside the love for the boy and mother, the love of my family. I get dissaponted with her when i am alone. And dont show her because she is going through the bigest trial of her life. I still support her although we are separated for almost a year.
---Carlos on 8/27/10|
If you want to keep following the LORD, definitely DO NOT get an abortion. That is murder, and will only get you in more trouble, and that with GOD Himself. Has your wife repented of the immoral relationship? If she has, and she still wants to stay with you, and she is willing to follow the LORD, as you are, then seek the LORD's Face FIRST, and see what He wants. And, chances are that He would have you two to remain together.
---Gordon on 1/14/10|
committed to love her and the child . . . basic
but ready for whatever she may do
loving her when possibly she is a betraying person > Jesus loves us, though we have turned on Him and betrayed Him in various ways. > so, this can get you close to Jesus, a good investment
but check yourself for however your ways of relating with her could have helped to tempt her to do that
and does Jesus take us back after we cheat on Him, by having affairs with Satan, in our worrying and unforgiveness and picky and choosy loving of those we want to *use* (Matthew 5:46)?
---Bill_bila5659 on 1/13/10|
i have had the same thing happen to me recently and i too have forgiven my wife. i want to make the child my own and just keep it that way. do we need to let the other man know he may be a dad? i don't want to for fear he will want a part of the babies life and i don't think i can handle that.
---chad on 1/13/10|
I would probably put the child up for adoption. Never abortion.
Abraham had a child by another woman at his wifes request but look how it caused them problems. Lot of jealousy will come into play and when you two fight, the daggers are gonna fly. It *will* be brought up again in the future. I guarantee it.
I know we say things are forgiven and have honorable intentions, but how painful will it be for you to look at that childs face ever day and be reminded of your wife's betrayal? Thats gonna be a tremendous strain on your marriage. Christ understood the pain that comes with adultery.
Love that baby enough to give him/her to a family that can look at them in adoration instead of putting on a smile to hide the pain.
---JackB on 12/3/09|
I am married for 14 months, she had a relationship with another guy....blog question:
Reasearch scriptures for direction.
GOD loved,Jer 31 2-4 Pslms 47:3-5.
GOD Married Jer 3:14,Ez 16:7-9.
GOD Divorced Jer 3:7-9,Isa 50:1-3.
They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? ...
Read,GODs law of widowhood. Wife does/did want to come back. Christ, GOD & man....died...freeing wife for remarriage.
Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
---Trav on 12/2/09|
For better or worse. You did right by forgiving her. But ask God for the peace, courage, and strength. I know this may be very hard on you right now. I've been there. In your wife shoes of course but Im not proud of it and I have been forgiving and shown mercy from God and my ex-husband but I will never regret my babies been born. They are still a blessing from God and it's not their fault. But if I have to be honest. I've told both my husbands that if the shoe was on the other foot, I would forgive regardless but I won't remain with them no matter how deep my love. God gives us all choices and I know what I can handle and what I can't handle well more like "I won't handle" My choice. Just like it's your choice.
---Mrs_Michael-Sharon on 11/30/09|
My married sister-in-law had a child (her first) by another man and her husband knew of the affair and pregnancy and stayed with her. Hes a good CHristian man. It eats him alive though. They fight all the time about it and I really dont expect the marriage to last once the child is grown.
Its easier to forgive than forget. When the child is a constant reminder of what happened... wow thats tough. I really dont know. Youd be a better man than I am. I can tell you that much right now.
To me it would be like my wife having an affair, saying she was sorry, but wanting to keep the other man around as a friend huh?
---JackB on 11/21/09|
Joseph raised a child that wasn't biologically his, loved him and even taught him his trade. By all accounts, they were a happy family.
Adoptive parents and those who marry spouses with children from previous relationships do it and bonds between parent and child are frequently as strong as those with biological connections.
I suspect biology is not your main issue, but how the pregnancy came about is. Don't worry, you're human and most would struggle as you are. It is admirable that you've attempted forgiveness, but sounds like it's not a completed job yet. Keep working on it prayerfully and seek wise counsel. If you both are willing, you can move beyond this and enjoy the blessing (child) that has come from this difficult trial.
---AlwaysOn on 10/25/09|
" I am not sure if I can raise another mans child"
Then allow his dad to do so.
"should I divorce?"
You answered your own question with this statement.
"I Love my wife and have forgiven her."
"should I ask for an abortion" No.
"should I take the challenge God has given me?"
If you truly believe the Father gave you the challenge,
then trust that He will empower you to rise to that challenge.
---joseph on 10/25/09|
How do you know she's pregnant by some other guy? If you have only been married for such a sort time, why is she seeing another man now? Reads like your problems are more serious than just the fact she got pregnant. Like the moderator suggest - you have to get marriage counseling. But, do so from a qualified marriage counslor who doesn't know either of you.
---wivv on 10/17/09|
Betty ... You are right in all that things you say.
But Leon says: "I Love my wife and have forgiven her" so does not want to leave her.
Then there is the complication: "I am not sure if I can raise another man's child"
I hope Leon is able to take his last option & say: "I take the challenge God has given me"
---alan8566_of_uk on 10/17/09|
She committed adultery, therefore you are entitled to leave her. Never try to convince anybody to get an abortion, it is murder. Whatever happens, remember it is not the child's fault.
---Betty on 10/16/09|
Chances are she won't stay around, so your decision will be made for you.
However, if she does decide to stay, you deserve a lot of respect for being willing to see this through.
I was in the same situation and was also willing to stick it out to the bitter end. God had other plans and delivered me from that situation.
---ralph7477 on 10/14/09|
you already know the answer its a life not a choice.
---Psalm_51 on 10/14/09|
"IF" you have forgiven your wife, then ask God to help you in this situation, and strengthen you in order to raise this child. Abortion should not even be considered, contrary to "public opinion" on the issue, it is still murder. Maybe you should ask God to forgive you for having considered that option? Divorce is not "necessarily" the right choice either, though it is an option should you feel uncertain about the issue of trust, God would prefer you both to work this out.
---tommy3007 on 10/14/09|
What kind of man would KILL an unborn baby?? Maybe that baby is yours. Try DNA!!!
---KarenD on 10/14/09|
how do you know the baby is not yours?
were separated while she was having this relationship
or were you withholding marital relations and unaware of the relationship until she became pregnant?
you have no right to ask your wife to abort and kill a life
you can't claim God has given you a "challenge" by snuffing out a life
if you love and have forgiven your wife then seek counseling from a qualified professional ...your contempt for the life she is carrying will poison this child as the child grows older and you will need to forgive the child as well
---Rhonda on 10/14/09|
Why should you want to kill an innocent unborn baby because the mother is an adulteress, especially if you say you have forgiven her?
---Cluny on 10/14/09|
"I Love my wife and have forgiven her."
If this statement is true you can pass the test! A knowledgeable person once said," wise is the man who knows his own father." Thereby indicating how mixed up things are here on this earth but rest assured God sees all and he will be with you.
---mima on 10/14/09|