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I Am Furious With Him

My husband of 23 years got a call from his high school sweet heart. She was in town and wanted to meet him. She came to his business and they talked for 2 hours. He didn't tell me about this until 5 days later. I am furious!

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 ---Jackie on 10/27/09
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JODY IS CORRECT!

I will add to that YOU need to ask for his forgiveness, by the way you acted and distrusted what seems to be an honest loving man. It sounds more like your own problem of insecurity and trust, than his.
---pastor_jim on 11/28/09


Do forgive him to err is Human
---TIM_MCA on 11/28/09


what is in capitals is what i call a standing order....it will descend on any home breaker who attempts it.
---patie3447 on 10/28/09

Patie, are you that insecure?
---NurseRobert on 11/27/09


Your husband did not tell you of this right away bc he knew that you would be furious. By now he is probably sorry that he told you at all. I am not trying to hurt your feelings but I wanted to point out how people learn to lie to loved ones. That doesn't make it right, however. Many people attempt to avoid conflict by not telling the truth. Lying by omission to keep the peace. You need to forgive him and thank him for telling you.
---jody on 11/25/09


"He who answers a matter before he hears it,
.It is folly and shame to him." (Proverbs 18:13)

Being furious in answer to a situation, without first finding out the real truth . . . can be foolish. Being furious does not automatically mean we are right > "for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1:20) You have been married 23 years . . . enough time to work out how you two communicate and understand things together, and become mature enough to not be hasty to jealousy and dominating. So, have you had an agreement for how he should handle something like this? Does your reaction fit with how you know your husband usually does things?
---Bill_bila5659 on 10/30/09




\\Some people keep talking and talking until they give their mental state away to us.
---KarenD on 10/29/09\\

She didn't have to talk tht much.

||"You shall declare a thing and it will be established for you, so light will shine in your ways"||

patie clearly thinks this verse is talking about herself.

What does that tell you?
---Cluny on 10/29/09


Wow! A "deliverance minister" right here in our mist. And, ordering God to do stuff too while cursing people that don't agree with her. Some people keep talking and talking until they give their mental state away to us.
---KarenD on 10/29/09


Good points, angea.
---Cluny on 10/29/09


Yes he should have told you and waited when you could be there.Also be glad that he told you.I know of some that would not have said anything at all.And he married you not her.Would you want him to act the way you are acting if you had made the same mistake? Two,instead of praying a curse on the person,pray for their salvation.You as a christian,should pray for your husband,pray that God help you to understand and get over this,and pray for that girls salvation if she isn't saved.Sit down and talk to your husband how it made you feel,and why you are so angry,help him to understand where you are coming from.But also be willing to listen to what he has to say and feel too.
---angea on 10/29/09


\\What do you thing deliverance ministers do? We command demons to come out!! in the Name of Jesus!! and at the mention of that name what happens?
---patie3447 on 10/29/09\\

Spirits of Jezebel and Control, I command you to come out of patie3447 in the Name of Jesus.
---Cluny on 10/29/09




#1
wao... thanks to all who commented

i see where you are coming from....

"You shall declare a thing and it will be established for you, so light will shine in your ways"
You know where this scripture can be found?

when you pray you are establishing your authority... there are different kinds of prayer...requests,petitions,....etc.

What do you thing deliverance ministers do? We command demons to come out!! in the Name of Jesus!! and at the mention of that name what happens?
---patie3447 on 10/29/09


Patie ... I don't think God takes orders from you
---alan8566_of_uk on 10/28/09


patie, It is sad that you actually think you can give God "standing orders" like that. He is NOT your servant! You are supposed to be HIS servant. You will not find a scripture in which the Lord says we are to curse our enemies. Why would you curse someone who is lost? Why not pray for their salvation? You must be very insecure in your marriage.
---KarenD on 10/28/09


" Standing orders" is a term frequently used in health care. Standing orders may specify that if ANY patient (NOT just an individual patient) has a certain complaint they are to given a specific remedy. The doctor may specify a certain medicine for anyone with minor pain, contipation, nausea, etc. That way he does not need to be bothered to give a separate order in each individual case.

It strikes me a little odd to be giving GOD "standing orders". But many scriptures could be considered "standing orders" from HIM, giving us instructions on how to carry out His will.
---Donna66 on 10/28/09


\\
"Father God, i pray for my family and ask that you protect us from all evil. I come against the works of any home breaker... if any one attempts breaking my home..MAY THE RESULT BE THAT THE BECOME THE MOST BITTER ENEMIES IN JESUS NAME.\\

You are cursing someone in prayer.

Jesus said to pray for those who despitefully use you, and to make friends with your enemies, and to love them.

St. Paul said the same thing in Romans 12.

Why do you pray against the clear standing orders of the Bible?

Whose "standing orders" take precedence: Yours or the Bible's?
---Cluny on 10/28/09


takes two too tango
---steven-rem7000 on 10/28/09


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standing order is a fascinating word for me because i used it in my work at the bank.

when we make a standing order on an account, we know for sure that it will take effect just as expected.

if you take a loan at a bank, we place a standing order that deductions be made from your account at particular intervals and it works.

you can pay your monthly bills by making a standing order at the bank that a particular amount be paid into particular accounts at specific dates of the month.

read more about standing orders on the net(as a baning procedure)

This is what i coined to use in my prayer life.

thanks
---patie3447 on 10/28/09


Hi Cluny,
thanks for commenting on what i said

"standing orders" is my own word coined for my own use....some of my friends understand it now...i know you don't .....maybe i should have explained before using it.

STANDING ORDER in my own terms goes like this

"Father God, i pray for my family and ask that you protect us from all evil. I come against the works of any home breaker... if any one attempts breaking my home..MAY THE RESULT BE THAT THE BECOME THE MOST BITTER ENEMIES IN JESUS NAME.

what is in capitals is what i call a standing order....it will descend on any home breaker who attempts it.
---patie3447 on 10/28/09


23 years later > she "might" not be the same as she was when they were sweethearts. I had a junior high favorite . . . cute with long brown hair. I recently saw a photo of her, now shortcropped and heavier and I would not have a chance of recognizing her. Two hours is enough to find out what has become of each other and others who were classmates, I'd bet. And you're furious about what you don't even know happened. At work, talking with her . . . not at dinner, as one has said. And is she so sweet, now? If she ever was. Foolish feelings of school kids can have them thinking they are in love. Foolish fury can have you thinking what I would not trust. God in His peace is more reliable.
---Bll_bila5659 on 10/28/09


She came to his business and talked for two hours. Yet, it took him five days to tell you. Either he was afraid to tell you or the meeting meant little to him. You decide!
---KarenD on 10/28/09


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If he is a good man and worthy of you marrying him and being with for 23 years...why be angry with him?

If YOU trust him, nothing else matters.
No one can harm your marriage but you.

I agree with Pati3447. You need to pray and empower yourself instead of feeling threatened. God protects His children, stand on your faith in Him and He will help you.
---SuzieH on 10/28/09


I don't blame you. There is a scripture somewhere in the Bible that says, "Can a man take coal into his bosom and not be burned?" I don't care if they didn't do anything wrong, which I doubt they were innocent, because man, two hours? They probably talked about some inappropriate things. Write down your feelings, and talk to him about them as well. I would even take the pastor of your church and have a three-fold conversation with you, your husband, and your pastor. What he did was not right.
---amand6348 on 10/28/09


well he was wrong to meet her in my opinion,and if he did it should have been with you present.This may possibly be innocent,but it was definitely handled wrong.remember one thing,being furious with him gives satan a foothold in your minf,which is a short trip to the heart,and shorter trip to sin.I would durely tell him this was hurtful,and can never be done again,do your best to move on.
---tom2 on 10/27/09


\\ turn your fury into prayer.... dangerous prayer!!...you can even make a standing order through prayer .... anyone who is a home breaker or tries to mess with your home will automatically invite the consequences of your standing order.\\

People have criticized the Roman Catholic Church for teaching that priests have the power to command God (which she never did, but that is not the point here).

Isn't this quote much the same thing?

I thought only God had the authority to give standing orders with spiritual consequences for their violation.
---Cluny on 10/27/09


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I can understand being upset, but I think you're going too far. 1) he told you (many would not) 2) they TALKED for 2 hours--are you not allowed to talk to someone from your past if you meet up with them? 3) do you feel he would be unfaithful? If yes, you need to face that & talk to him.
---Marilyn on 10/27/09


So, did you explain to him how that made you feel? If not, why are you venting here? You should talk to your husband first and let him know exactly how you feel about the whole episode and try to resolve the issues involved, then move on.
---tommy3007 on 10/27/09


alright, i will use this to advise myself and my peers:

lets not entertain certain things like flirting while single and it will help us not to entertain such things when married. lets not encourage flirts around us period!

and to my furious lady.... well, try and get over it and pray to God that your spouse doesn't end up doing strange things behind your back.... turn your fury into prayer.... dangerous prayer!!...you can even make a standing order through prayer .... anyone who is a home breaker or tries to mess with your home will automatically invite the consequences of your standing order.

meanwhile get on with your life....forgive your spouse and enjoy life while it lasts. cheers
---patie3447 on 10/27/09


And who did he actually marry--his high school sweetheart or you?

Notice they met at his business, surely a public place, and not for a romantic dinner.

Unless she called him the day she saw him, it might have been better to have had you there. But don't obsess over it now.

The fact he waited until days afterwards shows how much the encounter meant to him--in other words, not much. For him, it was simply seeing an old friend.

Get over it!
---Cluny on 10/27/09


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Jackie: Be glad he was honest enough to tell you. A lot of men wouldn't have for fear of the reaction you exhibit. I think the man loves you! :)
---Leon on 10/27/09


Yeah, so now what? Are you going to be furious for the rest of your life and make your husband miserable or are you going to get over it?
---ralph7477 on 10/27/09


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