ChristiaNet MallWorld's Largest Christian MallChristian BlogsFree Bible QuizzesFree Ecards and Free Greeting CardsLoans, Debt, Business and Insurance Articles

Boyfriend Sees Drinking Women

My boyfriend's Born Again w/all women friends he calls Christian Sisters? He goes church and dinner w/them, mostly w/one woman alone. He says its Fellowshipping. They're needy, drink, divorced. They consider him their go to guy/friend. He keeps pics on his phone. Is this biblically correct behavior?

Moderator - Not if your intentions are for marriage. Sounds like you are just a friend also? He shouldn't be alone with them regardless.

Join Our Free Dating and Take The Relationships Quiz
 ---Amanda on 11/11/09
     Helpful Blog Vote (3)

Reply to this BlogPost a New Blog



Thanks Alan for the update.

BTW about 95% of my non-bibical books are from British Authors. John Stott being one of my favourites. You get a great perpective without the American prejudice.
America is not God's promised land.
---Pastor_Jim on 11/19/09


Pastor J ... What you say about the KJV is 75% incorrect (although you are right about the original innaccuraces and the corrections)

Have a look at Wikepedia for accurate information.

What you know as the KJV is what was originally the "Authorised Version" in England (but it was never officially authorised!)

The term KJV was first used in America in the 19th Century, and is still used today, (largely by those who have some fanaticism about it being the only valid version)
Sadly as with many Americanisms, the term has come here to the UK!

Incidentally, the Authorised Version is still in use and has NOT been dumped.
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/19/09


Amanda ... "in my heart I still feel things aren't quite right biblically with him/them" Folloow that instinct, Amanda.

"But he makes me feel I am wrong?" As Pastor J says, he is manipulative.

"They say once they are saved, they are always saved no matter what they do as sinners" That's a good cop-out isn't it for going on as before?

Have you noticed that the two (Pastor J and myself) who are warning you are both men? We could be expected to find excuses for him, but cannot find any.

I repeat ... stay right away.
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/19/09


Amanda,

I would recommend you buy a good Bible. I recommend the NASB REFERENCE Bible. Considered the most accurate translation. Forget boyfriends, spend time alone reading the words of Christ. Get away from the world and be alone with God.

DO NOT buy a study Bible, especially the Scofield Study Bible which is heretical.

Avoid the KJV, which is the most inaccurate and never authorized by King James. It was never a bible, but a revision of an Anglican Bible. KJV had to be revised several times due to errors and was finally dumped in the UK in 1890. It does still has a Cult following here in the USA. Mainly due to people getting impressed with Olde English (Thou and Thee). Some even worship it!
---Pastor_Jim on 11/18/09


Amanda,

It sounds like he is manipulating you and using the Name of Christ to make you feel guilty for objecting. He is falsely putting your objections to his behavior, as if they are objections against Christ.

Also, it seems from what I read that this may not be a main stream church and probably a cult. He seems like he has a charismatic personally and is using it for his own gain and pride. Only you know if I'm right. It is just a guess on my part.

Anyway please consider our advice. When 2+2=3 there is something wrong. Also the Holy Spirit may be warning you, so pay attention to your heart.
---Pastor_Jim on 11/18/09




By favors to his women friends, I mean they call him for driving them places, coming over to fix something, taking them to church, and that I should just trust him. To him it's a responsibility biblically to help them with whatever they need. If one argues with their boyfriend of the moment, and needs a place to stay, he has let them stay at his house for the night. Also he noted to say that by a female roommate, he means renting out a room in his house to a woman. I appreciate all your answers, in my heart I still feel things aren't quite right biblically with him/them. But he makes me feel I am wrong? They say once they are saved, they are always saved no matter what they do as sinners? Its hard to understand that in my perspective.
---Amanda on 11/18/09


Alan is absolutely right on this!

He is NOT Christian by any perspective. He is filth and is sinning, not just against you. But his greatest sin is he is blaspheming Christ by telling you he is a "Born again Christian". Look at the fruits of his sin. You are considering Christianity over Catholicism and this evil man is a stumbling block to your spiritual growth. Since he claims to represent Christ.

Read the Bible Only for your growth, look at Christ, not men!.

READ MATT 23:13-36
"But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you shut off the kingdom of heaven from people, for you do not enter in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in."
---PASTOREJIM on 11/18/09


"all say they are truly born again Christians. ... They all have other boyfriends, or go from one to another"

!!!!

"he thinks it is OK to have a female roommate and still date me"

What ???

No decent man (even an atheist) would behave in this way, and show such disrespect to you. Let alone a Christian.

Keep those 43 miles between him, and cut the phone line
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/16/09


Thx again for all responses. He just goes to church 'Fellowshipping' with these needy women, I've not seen him go with men. But out of church, they also call him when they need favors as well, so it goes beyond just church, and all say they are truly born again Christians. The idea he has is to help them all, as the bible states. They all have other boyfriends, or go from one to another. I just question that since I am trying to learn more about Christianity other than a Catholic perspective, that this is what I am finding through my boyfriend. One new question, he thinks it is OK to have a female roommate and still date me. Is that ok or biblical from someone who says he is truly a born again Christian.
---Amanda on 11/16/09


Amanda,
Does he just do this with the woman? Does he do this with men also?
If he is just "Fellowshipping" with woman, it does sound a bit odd. But since he is not posting I would not know his angle either.
Does he think of you as his girlfriend or is he trying to distance himself from you and dropping a real hint that you may be in denial over (Just asking/not pointing fingers) but sometimes when one person makes the leap in a casual relationship (or date) to a more serious proposal, but the other person does not share the same feelings or interpretation of words spoken etc. You might want to pull away and look at the situation from a more objective and logical point of view (without your feelings clouding your thinking)
---Pastor_Jim on 11/15/09




Sorry KarenD ... I had not spotted Amanda's use of the word weird.

Nevertheless, it is not the drinking that she finds weird, but the fact they drank before going to church.
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/15/09


".......The girls drank before going to church, he doesn't. Still, was weird to me." ---Amanda on 11/13/09

Looks like "weird" to me, Alan.
---KarenD on 11/14/09


KarenD ... Did she say she found it wierd?

No.

She found the circumstances of his drinking difficult to accept, and I don't blame her

You appear to suggest that Catholics should accept such behaviour ... after all, they can misbehavce as much as they like and get absolution after, then go and do it again. Is that what you think Amanda's attitude to morality/loyalty sould be, because nshe is Catholic?
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/14/09


alan...That was no "snide" comment. Why would a Catholic think drinking was weird? That's an easy question.
---KarenD on 11/14/09


"Pastor" Jim, once again...

Hebrews 10:10
"By the which will we are SANCTIFIED through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all"

Do you not realize, sir, that you cause many new Christians to doubt their salvation with that garbage you teach? You steal their liberty and kill the love in their heart turning it into FEAR.

Gods grace isnt a 'sin all you want free" card - no. But it does make you PERFECT now and forever. The life we live is out of LOVE, sir. You teach as though a good lawful lifestyle full of good works KEEPS us saved. By your own words you condemn yourself (Galatians 3:1-5)

You are a very angry person, sir. Ready to judge too quickly. (Galatians 5:22)
---JackB on 11/14/09


KarenD ... No, I am no room monitor, but I did feel I should advise Amanda not to be upset by your post.

And, WOW Karen, I previously had no idea that you would be the sort of person who would make such snide comments about Amanda and Catholics
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/14/09


Read These Insightful Articles About Ecommerce


Wow Alan! I didn't realize you were the room monitor.
---KarenD on 11/13/09


Amanda ... Take no notice of KarenD ... her remark is out of order, and in any case has nothing to do with the issue.

Although Pastor Jim is difficult to understand, he has a good point ... that there are those who beleive that Once Saved you are Always Saved so it doesn't matter how you behave.

Take no notice of those who will attack you now you have revealed that you are a Catholic. There is far more that unites RCs & non RCs than divides them.

Looking at your situation and the man, I can't see any evidence that he has any respect for your feelings, and I think you should keep those 43 miles between you.
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/13/09


AMANDA SAID:"This is my first experience with born again Christians, just trying to learn. Seems they think they are saved no matter their behavior?"

Amanda, please read my post in "CHURCHES THAT TEACH GRACE" I have posted many times in other Blogs listed here as well on Churches that teach Grace only and don't care/teach about Santification (works.) It leads to "Beougious Carnal Psuedo Christians" who do care about God's will, Basically it goes like this: WE'RE SAVED BY GRACE, NOW LET'S HAVE POTLUCK!

God serves them and not the other way around. THEY'RE FAKES AND NEVER ATTEND BIBLE STUDIES, JUST GORGE ON THE FATTED OX OF POTLUCKS!
---PASTOR_JIM on 11/13/09


Since Catholics have no problem with drinking, why is their drinking weird to you?
---KarenD on 11/13/09


Read These Insightful Articles About Jewelry


I asked this question, thanks for all responses! I want to go to church with him on Wednesdays, he tells me I live too far (43 miles), I tell him I should be invited, and I don't mind driving after work, but he says they call him at the last minute so he doesn't invite me. I went once with them, but had to invite myself. The girls drank before going to church, he doesn't. Still, was weird to me. I am a Catholic, but seeking more! This is my first experience with born again Christians, just trying to learn. Seems they think they are saved no matter their behavior?
---Amanda on 11/13/09


\\ cluny....I missed that part. It does look like Amanda is not saved or does not attend church. You are so clever!
---KarenD on 11/12/09\\

There's nothing on the basis of her words to suggest she either is or is not.
---Cluny on 11/12/09


cluny....I missed that part. It does look like Amanda is not saved or does not attend church. You are so clever!
---KarenD on 11/12/09


Well, Amanda . . . you say he's your "boyfriend". If he is a sound Christian, he can help you get closer to God. And hopefully you would admire him for this, and want him to be good for others, also. And you might desire to join him in conversations with needy women so you could help him help others . . . perhaps in order to become his helpmate in ministering. When I get to know a really Christian lady of Jesus, I am convicted that Jesus wants me to love others by welcoming her to do good to others as much as she has been good for me > "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46). God trusts me with a really Christian person, for sharing her with others, not for possessing her for myself.
---Bill_bila5659 on 11/11/09


Send a Free Thanksgiving Ecard


\\Since you know who this other woman is, I suggest that you invite her out to fellowship over a meal. Then ask her if she thinks she is his only girlfriend.
---KarenD on 11/11/09\\

Good idea, Karen! ,-)

And what's to prevent the poster from going to church with her boyfriend and meeting all these fine Christian sisters?
---Cluny on 11/11/09


Since you know who this other woman is, I suggest that you invite her out to fellowship over a meal. Then ask her if she thinks she is his only girlfriend.
---KarenD on 11/11/09


Since cell phones were not around in the days of the apostles, the Bible would make no mention of them, therefore there are no Biblical guidelines about having pictures on your cell phone.
---Cluny on 11/11/09


I'm just a man, but it seems to me that he does not regard you as his girlfriend, nor himself as your boyfriend.

If you are supposed to be his girlfriend, he is treating you with total lack of respect.

If he does not look on you as being his girlfriend, he is treating you badly by letting yuo think that you are.

You don't say how close you have allowed yourself to get to him, but in my opinion, you should keep a long way away from him.
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/11/09


Read These Insightful Articles About Furniture


My advice is : Listen to Anon Advice!!!
---Pastor_Jim on 11/11/09


Amanda sweetie, your boyfriend is everyone else's boy-friend. It doesn't even sound like your boyfriend is saved or walking closely with the Lord. Does he hide behind the facade that he's born again? Doesn't sound like he is. Bad company corrupts good morales.

He needs serious counselling and he also doesn't know the word of God that says avoid all appearances of evil. Being with many women like that appears like he is a wanton pleasure type of person.

NONE of his behavior is biblically correct. Jesus said you shall know them by their fruit. I don't see any cherries on his tree - get yourself away from him for your own peace of mind. Let him sin all he wants. You protect yourself.
---anon on 11/11/09


Copyright© 1996-2015 ChristiaNet®. All Rights Reserved.