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Give Me This Man

I am a 39 year old female and still single. My church pastor introduced me to a single christian man and nothing has happened yet. Is it wrong to ask God to give me this man as a husband?

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 ---Sharon on 12/15/09
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Dear friend,
Please slow down. Take your time. Marriage is very hard work and not to be taken lightly. Can be hell to get out of, once entered into.. You can pray over your situation. NOthing wrong with that. But better yet-- don't seem to desperate. Work on making yourself worth having as a wife and let things happen,naturally. You cannot just wait around for God to do everything. You must do your part,also. Carry yourself in a godly manner,be honest and and live the life(christian) in front of him. If it is meant to be, and he is for real, he may decide to settle down and marry. Peace
---Robyn on 1/21/10


1st cliff: There are millions who depended on God and have received their spouses from HIM in very good time. What you are propounding in your last comment on this blog is un-Christian. Do not blame God for the case of the 60yr old that's still waiting, you do not know all about him like GOD knows. "That people should help themselves instead of waiting for God" is misleading and not Godly. Do you belong to Christ?
---Adetunji on 1/21/10


I don't think you should ask in that manner. Ask God to do His Will and if it is His will that you and this man be together that He make it happen. What if this man is not for you? And you "think" God put you together and act on it and it turns out God has something better for you. You would be wasting your time on something inferior to God's best for you.

I believe we should not sit back and expect God to do everything. But, this man is not the only man alive that God has. Ask God to show you His intent.
---Barbara on 12/23/09


i suggest You ask the fella out for coffee or something,first =)
before You decide You want him...
---kevin5443 on 12/22/09


Adetunji, Your last sentence sums up what I wrote "He will not do all things WE should do" I just suggested that God did not make human "Helpless" She's pushing 40 and God hasn't sent her a man yet??...I have a friend now in his 60s still waiting for god to send him a wife! When will they wake up to the fact that that's not God's concern, you want a wife/husband ...go find one and get on with life!
It's a phobia (atychiphobia) Want help? ask God to help you overcome your fear of failure!
---1st_cliff on 12/22/09




Yeah absolutely Donna. The Bible isnt always clear until we experience His love over time. Then all the little false beliefs we have fade away.

I was in a Christian group once and they asked each of us about our childhood experiences with our parents. It was amazing how the differences in our pasts caused us all to come away with different beliefs even though we were reading the same Bible.

The man whos father was short-tempered, unmerciful at times and very strict will look at God (even as a Christian) totally different than one whos father was patient, kind and understanding.

Like the Word says.. its a renewing of the mind and its God work in us. It His salvation. He knows us better than we know ourselves.
---JackB on 12/22/09


Not wrong. Only don't assume that God's answer will be a "yes."
---amand6348 on 12/22/09


JackB, you make a good point: Ever notice how opinions on the depth of Gods love differ depending upon how much love a person has received from others during their life?

We love because He first loved us, but that's not enough of a revelation to EXPERIENCE His love, right?

To those who have experienced His love, to that depth we are able to love others, and love God back, amen? What a great point Jack.
---Donna on 12/21/09


1st_cliff: Rev.4:11 "...and for His pleasure they are and were created". We give God pleasure when we are not sure of anything and we totally rely on HIM. HE is glad to help when our heart depends on HIM for problem-resolutions. Those who think they can fix somethings without God are like children that says their parent's counsel is not needed. Earthly parents can even make mistake, God will never make mistake. God created us to live our lives together with us John14:23. IF you have an expert in ALL fields in the house & do not consult HIM, you suffer un-necessarily. Of course HE will not do all things that we should do, if HE shows you your spouse, you have to talk to him/her.
---Adetunji on 12/21/09


\\I am so tempted to heed both advice (simultaneously). Asking God to give me a sign and reveal His plans for me while I become a "Ruth" to this man.\\

Don't forget that Ruth's words "Whither thou goest...." were said by one woman to another woman, and they were about rejecting marriage and finding a husband.
---Cluny on 12/21/09




Ever notice how opinions on the depth of Gods love differ depending upon how much love a person has received from others during their life?

Why do we limit Gods love to that of a sinful man... and a bitter one at that?
---JackB on 12/21/09


I will never understand why people think that God is in the match-making lonely hearts club business!
If you're able to dress and feed yourself you're able to find your own mate.(like the rest of us) You expect God to spoon-feed you and wipe your nose??? It makes me ill when I read this stuff, a neighbor says God tells him what make of car to buy and which cereal to eat for breakfast..I said "Get a life"!!
Why did God make man with a brain? He could have made robots!
---1st_cliff on 12/20/09


Yes PLEASE dont do that or that God of heaven will strike you DEAD for thinkin you know better than Him!!!

Wabaaam!! Fool!! Die!!

K maybe not. He'll probably as a loving heavenly Father let you learn the hard way from another failed relationship to rely upon Him for choosing your mate.

He has been patiently doing with me for the past 20 years. Maybe one day I'll stop picking my own.
---JackB on 12/20/09


PLEASE do not say "Give me this man" to God. Saying that means you know better than God that the man is the best for you. Make it conditional, God if this man shown to me by the Pastor is your choice, please show me & bring us together. God. if this man is not your choice, kindly give me the one you know is best for me in Jesus' name. Amen.
---Adetunji on 12/18/09


I used to pray stuff like that all the time. NOw I just pray that the Lord will send me the woman that He knows Im right for and the woman He knows is right for me.

I got tired of forcing a relationship out a loneliness and gettin my heart broken over and over again.

Believe me its better to be lonely and waiting.

Get a cat lol
---JackB on 12/18/09


Be VERY CAREFUL what you pray for because you just might get it.
---KarenD on 12/17/09


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You're asking: Is it wrong to ask God to give me this man as a husband?

Can I ask you ONE question? How do you know what God's will is for your life?

How about praying, "Father God, if it be YOUR will, please give me this man as a husband, never the less, not my will, but thy will be done."

You can be out of the will of God on this and if you are, you will be miserable. It's better to be in, and stay in, the will of God and be alone for a little while longer and let God bring you HIS choice of a husband.
Isaiah 54 tells us, "For your maker is your Husband, the Lord of Hosts is His name." Take Jesus as your husband first, and then you will get an earthly husband.
---Donna on 12/17/09


Give you a man, eh? As if a husband is just something to obtain for your benefit, like a warm sweater.

In the beginning, God gave woman to the man. Not the other way around.
---ralph7477 on 12/17/09


Thank you very much for your responses - there are two respones here:
1. be like Ruth
2. Wait upon the Lord.

I am so tempted to heed both advice (simultaneously). Asking God to give me a sign and reveal His plans for me while I become a "Ruth" to this man.

I am so confused and slowly losing hope.
---Sharon on 12/17/09


sharon,dont you think thats between you and this man?If he is interested in making you his wife,iam sure you will be able to tell.
---tom2 on 12/17/09


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\\But be like Ruth, act on it. Put yourself in a position to be seen and noticed by this man as a potential mate.\\

Like Ruth's sleeping at Boaz's "feet,"--which is clearly a euphemism?

A careful reading of this story shows that it was nothing but a marriage of convenience.

Of course, few marriages in that period were about love, but were arranged, anyway.
---Cluny on 12/16/09


Yes it is wrong to ask God to give you him as your husband because God cannot force a person to marry another person.

You can, however, ask God to show you all His will for the both you as far as the relationship is concerned.

The will of God is the word of God. (1John 5:14-15, Jeremiah 1:12, Numbers 23:19)

His will concerning marriage(Proverbs 18:22, 19:14, 12:4, Genesis 2:18)

Ask Him...Father, You saw it not good for the man to be alone so You created a help meet for him. Am I the help meet for...?

God respects faith and watches over His word to perfrom it. So pray the word of God concerning the matter.(Isaiah 43:26)
---Rickey on 12/16/09


Ofcourse not! However, if you pray according to scripture, there would be no need to say, "Thy will be done". I see nothing of this request of God, by you, that you should leave off 'Thy will be done".
---Catherine on 12/16/09


You can ask God anything in your heart. There is nothing wrong with it. That does not necessarily mean that it is within Gods will, however. God knows more about this man and about you than you do. It may very well be His will for you to develop a relationship with the gentleman but again, it may not be for your good to be involved with him. He may have someone else in mind for you. You are still young and there is no hurry. Relationships take time to develop and haste causes error. Blessings to you:)
---jody on 12/16/09


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After my husband died in 1998 I thought life was over. I wasn't a Christian then and struggled a few years, moved, started going to church with a neighbor, accepted Christ into my life and then said in a prayer the only thing missing in my life was a good Christian man to share my new life with. The next day I met Jim. He made similar prayer. The minute we started talking we knew this was a gift from God. We married 30 days later! That was 9 years ago. Moral of the story - keep your eyes, ears, and heart open to what God has planned for your life so you won't miss it. Make sure you are ready, THEN let God know. Don't pray that God give THIS man to you. HE will provide for you in HIS time and you will know without a doubt when it happens.
---Bonnie on 12/16/09


It is right to ask God for whatever you want. even and especialy a christian man.
But be like Ruth, act on it. Put yourself in a position to be seen and noticed by this man as a potential mate.
also see Proverbs 20 verse 6
---francis on 12/16/09


I would consider it to be a very selfish and a very foolish prayer. Just because a pastor or friend introduces you to some one does not mean he is the life long mate for you.

Take time to get to know each other see if there is mutual attraction, mutual interest, love and compassion that is going to last through think and thin times.

The US divorce rate fluxes between 49.9% and 50.1% from year to year so your odds of a successful marriage are as about as good as flipping a coin and any the children you might conceive deserve a better chance than that.
---Friendly_Blogger on 12/16/09


I know many women over 30 becoming so desperate to marry lose self respect and values ...willing to settle for any man - more concerned having husband as placeholder than caring if man is compatible let alone love

how many dates have you had or have you? ...from your post it appears none only introduced ...per your comment "nothing has happened yet"

what are your common interests, education, background, family life? what do you BOTH want/expect from future in regards to homelife a family etc? what about friends and family what do they enjoy or respect about him?

imagine God "granting your wish" (like some genie in a bottle) yet man's "wish" wasn't YOU it was someone else
---Rhonda on 12/15/09


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There's a Country song about a guy who prayed to God about some girl he liked when he was in High School.

Year laters he gets married to the real woman God chose for him.

It's main chorus is......

"Thank God for unanswered prayers"
---Pastor_Jim on 12/15/09


(o: hi, Sharon . . . there might be more than one really Christian man who would be pleased to have you interested in him. But if he cares about pleasing God, he is interested in making sure with God, though he appreciates you. I have my eye on a woman, but I'm praying to be how God wants me to be (1 Peter 5:3) so I connect right with her or whoever He might surprise me with. If you are interested in him, I'd consider how Paul says, "the husband is head of the wife," in Ephesians 5:23. If you find him to be the one worthy of your trust as your "head", I suppose you might trust him enough to talk with him about praying about this, or just trust him by waiting and thanking God for His choice.
---Bill_bila5659 on 12/15/09


Yes, it is.

Doesn't this man have free will, too, or does your will override his?

What if it's in God's perfect will for you that you remain single for His sake?

What if God has other plans for this man that do not include you?

Are you willing to accept these possibilities, Sharon?

It would be better for you to pray for God to make His will for you plain to you--and be willing to accept that it may not be what YOU want.
---Cluny on 12/15/09


It's not wrong to ask, just don't be surprised if the answer is no. Conversely, be careful what you ask for because you just may get it, lol. What do you know about him? Do you know enough to determine that you want to spend the rest of your life with him or under his leadership? What about his family or his background? Does any of this matter to you?

I'm not criticizing your choice, but I am curious as to why him. I'm sure you trust your pastor wouldn't introduce you to someone he didn't deem suitable (if he was introducing you for the possibility of a connection), but remember that Mrs. Woods was introduced to Tiger by someone she trusted, too. What a surprise that turned out to be, huh? Just offering you a little food for thought. :)
---AlwaysOn on 12/15/09


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Yes, that is wrong. Maybe this man is not who God has for you, although you can still be friends. Pray for God to bring you to the man He has for you, and to bring this man to you. Also remember it is in God's timing, not yours.
---Leslie on 12/15/09


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