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How Long To Stay Separated

I am currently married but have been separated for 2 years. We have two children and I am still in love with him. He loves me too but our issues are too great. I've prayed but God is silent. Should I file for divorce or continue waiting?

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 ---Tasha on 1/8/10
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Tasha: There is an element of ambiguity in your question. You wrote, "I am still in love ..He loves me too..". If all love is not lost between the 2 of you, that means you can still discuss this blog question together. What do you think? God not answering may mean what to do is obvious to you. Remain on the Lord's side.
---Adetunji on 11/1/11


It will only work if the both of you CHOOSE to forgive and make the decsion that you are going to work this out at all cost and both people are willing to do whatever it takes, especially when times get tough. I pray that you work this out and figure out how you got here in the first place and work on never letting your marriage get to this point again.
---Shon on 10/31/11


Donna: May God bless you more as you continue to do whatever HE leads you to do. Amen.
---Adetunji on 1/15/10


Donna: Please if the Lord directs you to another man, do not refuse.-Adetunji on 1/12/10

Adetunji, thanks, but no thanks. I do fine with Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit, the four of us are very close.

The Apostle Paul was correct when he said an unmarried woman has more time to serve the Lord and that's what I love doing.
---Donna on 1/13/10


Donna: Please if the Lord directs you to another man, do not refuse. Gen.2:18 applies to women as well. There are some of your needs that God can still meet through a man that HE chooses for you.
---Adetunji on 1/12/10




joseph's advice is GREAT but sometimes it's hard when you're in the middle of a messy situation where NOTHING is being resolved.

If you divorce, don't remarry. Then you'll be considered an adulteress woman.

I've been divorced for 10 years and made the Lord my shelter, my strength and He became EVERYTHING to me, so much more than a husband could ever fulfill - now I have a wonderful relationship with Father God, the Lord Jesus and Holy Spirit. I wouldn't trade it for another man or marriage. God knows that. Seek the Lord with ALL of your heart and He will guide you into ALL truth. The Psalms say, "I will counsel you with my eye upon you." Do you know how close someone is to you who counsels you with His eye upon you?
---Donna on 1/11/10


My spouse was unfaithful to me. She asked me to leave, I was separated about 3 yr's. She started to do the div & then backed out, So I persued & finished the div, I wasn't going back to her unfaithfulness. So the sep & div together is about 6 yr's.
---Lawrence on 1/11/10


You said "I am still in love with him. He loves me too..". My recommendation is that the 2 of you though separated should plan and be praying together. Meet. Draw out the things the 2 of you need to pray for & pray. Maybe God is annoyed because you are separated. Those "issues that looks too great in your eyes" are beneath God.
---Adetunji on 1/10/10


I agree with Joseph. Well said.
---jody on 1/9/10


I suspect the reason God is silent is because He knows your heart.
---catherine on 1/9/10




Without more information on the actual problems, it would be fruitless to discuss this situation.
---KarenD on 1/9/10


Without more info, as in what issues, we can only speculate. You have been given some good answers already. What I would say to you is, Are the issues serious like physical/verbal abuse? or selfish like he/she won't do things my way? Apart from matters of serious abuse, I would suggest as has already been said that you each submit to the other and God and get back to acting like a real family. God is NOT glorified in situations like this with believers acting like the world.
---tommy3007 on 1/9/10


"Should I file for divorce or continue waiting?"
Divorce for what? Waiting for what?
If you are waiting for your issues to be reconcile, why not simply "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (NKJV) "Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ." (NLT)
Support and sustain one another through that which is burdensome or troubling, and in this manner you express the "law of Christ". Unfeigned Love is that law, and that love always seeks to uplift and edify, and is, by its very nature, that which will bring you closer. (JT):oD The "issues" are not the problem. Submit yourselves, one to the other. Yield yourself to a greater good.
---joseph on 1/9/10


I would think that if anything could get in the way of you loving each other and being there as a needed example for your children to learn from how you make your marriage work, then that thing needs to be what gets divorced from you two. Is it something that you would be glad to let go of in order to stay with God?

Not the same thing > I have volunteered, and often enough the ones in charge of supervising me have been giving me orders that I did not think were as practical as I could do things, and/or I might feel someone was giving orders just so he could be the boss. But I submitted, sacrificed whatever was not a moral issue, and with loving more cheerfully then has come better relating worth more than being practically correct.
---Bill_bila5659 on 1/8/10


You've not really said what you're waiting for.

Are you waiting for God to say something?

If you're waiting for a voice from the sky or a special theophany just for you, you're waiting in vain.

God usually works through people.
---Cluny on 1/8/10


are you both christian?unless he is abusive,a drunk,an adulterer,that he neglects you constantly,or is cold,aren,t reasons for divorce,their excuses to act worldly.
---tom2 on 1/8/10


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I'm sure very few here will be able to offer advice unless you can tell us what the issues are.

Have you been to counselling? If you both love each other, that should not be too difficult.
---alan8566_of_uk on 1/8/10


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