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Divorce For Abandonment

Where did the idea of abandonment as grounds for divorce come from? Is it Biblical? If so, chapter, book and verse. It sounds plausible, but I'm not sure I understand the conditions for it. What if both spouses are Christians. I really would like to become informed.

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 ---Nancy on 2/15/10
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It all sound so self indulgent especially where there is absolutely nothing to back up re-marriage in this verse find it explain and reference your back up.God forbid you'll try(anyway)

Listen to why God is asking the unbeliever to depart?

because the Unbelieving Person Hello is an unbeliever NOT a believer.

what happens to the unbelieving they go off remarry and go to hell.

because they are unbelieving.

Now if they become believing, they need to accept the word that they were married and if they have not been sexually active with someone else return to reconcile, because reconciliation is bible.

Now work out why some would not want this person back then you understand where you ARE!!!
---Carla on 9/30/11


Abandonment is the breaking of the marriage covenant. According to 1 Cor 7:15 Paul (an inspired writer for God) seems to indicate that abandonment by an unbelieving spouse gives the one who was abandoned "permission" for divorce. Due to my marriage covenenant being broken (emotional abandonment) I left my husband, he immediately filed for divorce, but then we agreed to attempt reconciliaiton. Over three years later and my full remorse and repentence, we agreed to dismiss the divorce case, but my husband refuses to reunite to try to work things out. Even though I was the one who originally left, I consider that he has now abandoned me and our marriage, and I am seeking God's blessings to proceed with a divorce at this time.
---Sheryl on 9/14/11


I have been struggling with this same, very difficult question for some time, now. I hesitate to say that God has answered me, but have begun to consider that God may well have provided for the abandoned spouse, but only by careful attention to what He has shown us in His Word. I want to be very quick to say that I believe that, just as with sexual infidelity God has allowed divorce as an option not a command, I believe that what I share below is simply an option and that the faithful spouse must seek God's face and not forget mercy and grace, even in the depths of his or her despair.
---Ted on 6/16/11


Strange that since the Bible says not have nothing to do with a brother who is in sexual sin!

Guess you shouldn't be commenting on anything else then should you.... what makes him so special you comment on everything else?
---Carla on 3/13/10


There are two ways to suggest (not demonstrate) that it could be Biblical (a) That the person abandoning the spouse is not a Christian, so the comment in 1 Cor 7 could allow the abandoned spouce to divorce (can you, of course, be sure the spouse who abandoned is NOT a Christian or (b) that the abandonment was specifically to get into another relationship, in which case the clause in Mat about sevual immorality could apply. But in both cases (except (a) where the spoouse has actively been rejecting Chrstianity)) one may feel that the spouse is being accused of something we are not sure of.
---peter3594 on 3/13/10




Marriage is a Merging of two people together, and when a spouse "abandons" the marriage then there is no marriage. Abandonment is not the same as a separation, because a separation is understood to be only for a time and afterward the spuses will be rejoined back together again. Abandonment is desertion, with the knowledge that there is not and will not ever be any participation nor performance nor presence of the absent spouse in the marriage again. And the court ordered divorce makes a legal declaration that the marriage is dissolved on the grounds that the absent spouse broke the solemn vow and abandoned the marriage, which entitles the abandoned spouse to remarry if he or she would ever desire.
---Eloy on 3/13/10


Exactly there'd be no debate if it said the unbeliever can leave so the believer can re-marry.
---Carla on 3/12/10

I agree it seems vague, but it does use the words "is not bound" whatever that means.

Christians will often claim that their spouse was not "really saved" so that they can use this verse as an escape clause. Or, they will say that THEY were not saved during their divorce so they can use the "all things have become fresh and new..." verse as an escape clause.

I sometimes wonder about our singles pastor whose wife deserted him early in his ministry. He remarried another Christian woman but it is not for me to say whether it was Biblical or not. It is what it is now.
---obewan on 3/12/10


Exactly there'd be no debate if it said the unbeliever can leave so the believer can re-marry.
---Carla on 3/12/10


I have not found anything about 'abandonment' as a reason for divorce. It can be argued that, if the person who is abandoned is a Christian and theother is not, there is the passage in (I think) Corinthians about 'if the unbeleiver leaves' or someting like that, then the beleiver can remarry but 'in the Lord'. But I do not think it is Biblical.
---peter3594 on 3/10/10


Rhonda said:
you quote is very clear ONLY religious christianity wants to promote LIES you have carelessly promoted in THEIR NAME via THEIR interpretation of KJV ...those ideas unsupported by scripture expecting their "christians" to be sentenced to a life of marriage exile punishment for their spouses sins

Every version prior to KJV on this scripture are practically the same. Perhaps the differences being language in terms of how words are spelt!

Or perhaps you would kindly post the said scriptures from a quote from your choice of the scriptures to see if it reads with the same advice. Which no doubt (unless it written later) will read the same as the KJV.
---Carla on 3/4/10




It is pointless arguing and using derogative connotations to make what you are saying sound so sophisticated to the point of convincing the converted to believe a lie. It just does not stand up to the bible passage on laws of marriage. And there are marriage Laws, unfair maybe, but nonetheless a requirement if a woman and man are not going to be judged as Adulterers, and twisting scriptures won't change that

Everyone has a bible and regardless of the translation they will all have a written clear explanation of male commitment both physically achieved for the kingdom and naturally occurring for the kingdom. read Matt closer then go over Matt 19:10.
---Carla on 3/2/10


Carla sadly the very scripture you quote is very clear ONLY religious christianity wants to promote LIES you have carelessly promoted in THEIR NAME via THEIR interpretation of KJV ...those ideas unsupported by scripture expecting their "christians" to be sentenced to a life of marriage exile punishment for their spouses sins

I serve The Father in Heaven ...marriage is not a prison sentence if the once supposedly believing spouse becomes a SERIAL SINNER the Believer is FREE to divorce and remarry ...anyone who LIVES in continuous sin has turned away from The Father in Heaven ...maybe those who serve their religious systems should REREAD scripture without those religious christianity rose colored glasses
---Rhonda on 3/1/10


In the old testament,we lived under law and the new testament we live under grace (TGFJ) if not none I repeat none of us would be living today.Any married person M/F who is not being treated the way God intends for you to be treated, need to consult the Lord and listen and look for his answer,an don't stay if your being physically abused.IF the problem is unfaithfullness in the marriage,consider your health,to many STD out their,yes God can cover you and will,He also gives us warnings signs,if you/we can't fulfill the sexual part of our marriage because of ones sinning,then we burn with lust. God doesn't think like we do nor can we compare our thinking with His, I'm just greatfull for grace and mercy which pleads our case for use daily..
---velma7693 on 3/1/10


Before the bandwagons jumped on (a opportunity for some not to miss)

Correction A reliable bible publication that has not been revised after the KJV, unless it is accurate with translations with better clarity in terms of understanding words and displayed as foot notes.
---Carla on 3/1/10


Says Rhonda's New Testament

How ever those that can read Matt 19:10 KJV

only need a good readable kings James before not after publication to find the truth. Just read the foot notes that show what is added!
---Carla on 3/1/10


Rhonda,

I just want to commend you on your answers.
They are truth and life and full of love from God.
You too, Glenn.
I am not sure why some of the others are so harsh on Christian divorce-es, but I guess we will just have to pray for them.
---miche3754 on 2/26/10


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Divorce is misused in WORLD - Divorce by scripture is never acceptable yet Christ outlined situations where it could occur

if fraud of any kind was discovered after the marriage

if one spouse who was once a BELIEVER became an unbeliever and wanted divorce for no reason

if a believing spouse becomes an unbelieving spouse by continuous sin of adultery - however adultery is NOT grounds for divorce

if a believing spouse is abandoned (their spouse through neglect of leaving) has become an unbeliever

IN ALL these situations believing spouse is free to divorce and remarry ....otherwise believing spouse punished for acts of a self-professing christian who claimed christianity YET actions were of the WORLD
---Rhonda on 2/25/10


Joseph could have divorced Mary since she was seen to have conceived yet she was a virgin.
*****

Joseph and Mary were not married at the time she was pregnant with The Messiah Christ Jesus

Joseph MADE his decision to stay with Mary when he continued with their engagement to marry

PRIOR to their marriage Joseph UNDERSTOOD Mary was conceiving a child of The Holy Spirit as TOLD to him in a dream

Since Joseph STAYED with Mary during the pregnancy and married divorce was NOT an option
---Rhonda on 2/25/10


Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer, and anyone marrying one, is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was polygamous. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Both Matthew 19:9 and 1Corinthians 7:27-28 allow remarriage. Marriage is the second purpose after our relationship with God.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27-28.
---Glenn on 2/25/10


That is perhaps what I really meant to say sometime ago but the words failed me. God does not intend that man will deal with his wife harshly, the example being that Joseph could have divorced Mary since she was seen to have conceived yet she was a virgin. But rightly said God intervened and said not to do so.... If a husband is a man of God he will not leave you... if he does he's no good if you have done nothing wrong biblically but if you commit Adultery with another man he is at liberty to remarry if he feels his honour has been broken.

Is it fair perhaps not but then God has a reason for women to remain unchaste. Not deprived, not abandoned, not lost but with him.
---Carla on 2/25/10


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one cannot CLAIM "christianity" and do as the WORLD

a TRUE Christians does not abandon their family

if a spouse abandons their family they have left the remaining spouse with a choice to live in religious christianities fraudulent marriage

OR per scripture their NON-believing spouse has set them free

divorce the spouse who abandoned the family and seek to find a believing christian

ONLY religious christianity punishes the spouse who was neglected and left by another spouse - The Father in Heaven does not
---Rhonda on 2/23/10


The world can say what they like the world will but the bible remains un- changed and no one CAN RE-WRITE VERSE MATT 19 V 10.

It does not take a Theology degree or being fluent in Hebrew Arabic or Greek to read that Paul deals with the situation.... category by category.

It is written in black and white you do not need scripture to unlock scripture as you do with revelation... Daniel and John to understand Rev.

Remain single or reconcile simply means God does not intend for women called over 60 to remarry or women who's husbands have run off because he is their as our provider. If not he would have said remarry it is not Adultery if husband is not dead. SIMPLE!

salomeX

---Carla on 2/22/10


If the spouses are both really Christian, then neither of them should remarry or even divorce. As the others have indicated, if the one who left is not a believer, then you are not bound. The other condition for divorce is adultery. The word abandonment is man made.
---jody on 2/21/10


Although abandonment is a worlds term and used in divorce it is recognized in Gods Word

Many people CLAIM christianity yet by their ACTIONS do not live a christian life

If a spouse leaves their spouse (and the blessings of marriage are due benevolence) then by their actions the spouse who left has become an unbeliever by withholding the blessings of marriage

just like a spouse who commits adultery time and again ....over time their adulterous actions have them living in continuous sin behaving as an unbeliever allowing the non-adulterous spouse to divorce and re-marry

otherwise the blessings of marriage have become a poison for the believer having them live a life of abstinence within a fraudulent marriage
---Rhonda on 2/20/10


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Josef ... "If the woman remains "chaste" there is no adultery"

The Bible does not say that! It says that if a man diverces his wife, but not because of maarital unfaithfulness, he causes her to become an adultress.

It also says if a man marries that diverced woman, he is an adulterer.

But it pointedly does not say that she becomes an adultress if she remarries.

It just says she becomes an adultress ... and that means whether she remarries, has further sexual relations or not. She's an adultress even if she remains chaste.

Perhaps this is a case where Jesus' rules are so tough, & the woman sins just by being divorced at her husband's whim, or maybe something's happened in translation!
---alan8566_of_uk on 2/19/10


Alan8566, If the woman remains "chaste" there is no adultery. However a divorce, without just cause, unjustly places the woman in a very precarious position, thus the verse speaks primarily of the man's wrong. For he opens himself to be the cause of her committing adultery through no fault of her own. Marriage provided for both the physical and emotional needs of a woman. The man, for the most part, was the bread winner, once married the woman basically depended upon her man as her head, thus divorcing her, would in a sense, force her to remarry out of a desire and/or need for some sense of security, or even sustenance, hence, commit adultery. For 'by the law of Moses' she would be still legally married to that unjust first husband.
---Josef on 2/19/10


The bible scripture states that If he depart let him depart... How can you hold a man or a woman who is unbelieving to remain in a marriage. It is clear both are unequally yoked.

If you see the yellow of an egg separate from the white form when you crack it, naturally you are going think that it is not edible.

What you fail to realise is the fact that married, widows, unmarried in this very same passage are individually and separately addressed.

Divorce for any reason fine, but women only upon death of their husband can re-marry.
---Carla on 2/18/10


I sympathize with you Nancy, heck I would swear you were married to my ex--except I provided for him financially more than he provided for me! Anyway, you have my prayers dear.
---Mary on 2/18/10


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Nancy, there may be sound legal reasons for seeking a divorce or separation and you really need to consult an attorney to see what your options are.

If there is any history of abuse get you and any children out of the environment to a safe location with all deliberate speed.

If you husband is running up excessive debt, until you divorce or formally separate. You could be liable for that debt. You need to talk to an attorney immediately to find out your legal position, and potential liabilities and the formulate an appropriate action plan and implement it.
---Friendly_Blogger on 2/18/10


Nancy...Are you just looking for an excuse to get a divorce?
---KarenD on 2/17/10


What about a Christian spouse who "abandons" his wife mentally, emotionally, is not trustworthy and physically (sex)? Financial support is not the only thing required in a marriage, is it? They are virtually "sharing space."
---Nancy on 2/17/10


I Corinthians 7:15.....But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

Scriptures just prior to this one refer to unbelieving spouses. Perhaps this is where the "abandonment" term comes from. Some denominations use the term abandonment by an unbelieving spouse to allow divorced ministers.
---KarenD on 2/17/10


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We are living in a time where virgins don't even get the chance to get married, so what gives a married woman the right to marry again when the bible states that she is to remain single. It go's far beyond mans ''fairness'' it's about connecting the scriptures to show God is the Head of Christ,Christ is the head of the Man and the Man is the head of the woman.

When a woman becomes in a position without her (husband) who has gone AWOL other than death she is under the Law of marriage and Christ becomes her head and God above them both. What can another man outside of that covenant do?
---Carla on 2/16/10


So what does "provide for his own" include? Does that get into anything other than financial provision? As a Christian spouse, I am thinking about spiritual, emotional, medical insurance, trustworthiness, home responsibilities. Even though not enumerated in the Bible, they are still provisions, aren't they? Any scripture references? Maybe that is just part of a man loving his wife as Christ loved the church from Eph 5:25-27.
Thanks for your thoughts.
---Nancy on 2/16/10


Josef ... I'm just thinking what that passage means?

If a man divorces his wife and it is not for adultery ... she becomes an adultress?

Now, that does seem unfair ... She is entirely faithful to her, but is divorced by him. She then remains chaste. And she is still then an adultress?

Does it really mean that? When she has done NOTHING wrong?
---alan8566_of_uk on 2/16/10


Marriage is strictly a civil contract as you must have a license for any pastor to perform a marriage likewise the the same legal bodies determine the the rules for divorce with in their jurisdictions.

And religion doses not even enter the picture.
---Friendly_Blogger on 2/16/10


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"A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for [just] any reason? I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. If the unbeliever departs, let him/her depart, a brother or a sister is 'not under bondage in such [cases]'." 1Cr 7:39>Mat 5:32>1Ti 5:8>1Cr 7:15
---Josef on 2/16/10


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