My Man Is Balding And Fat
I am in love with a handsome christian Man who is everything i've prayed for. he's also tall and handsome...but a bit chubby and he's balding! As we move closer to our wedding day, I begin to want more! I want him to have abs and have hair and it's uncomfortable! What do I do?
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---Ribbon on 3/2/10
Helpful Blog Vote (9)
\\Cluny that was to funny//
---Gabby on 3/24/10|
You want abs and hair? Marry a mannequin with a wig.
---Cluny on 3/23/10|
That is good. We are SUPPOSED to be gentle (rather than like ravenous wolves, something many people here overlook):
2 Timothy 24-26:
"And the servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves, if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth,
And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will."
---StrongAxe on 3/12/10|
I think we should introduce them. They're made for each other.
A marriage made in...no no not heaven.
A marraige made in Hollywood THAT'S IT!!!
I also reccomend Pre nutual agreement to be used as the aging process becomes unbearable to their skin deep devotion.
AHHH!! Such Love!
---John on 3/11/10|
The responses to her are a lot more gentle than the ones that poor guy got on the "My Girlfriend is Fat and Talks" thread. That poor soul was told by several people that he did not deserve to marry ANY woman because of his immaturity.
I will say, I seem to see that view a little more clearly now even if I am not in total agreement.
And for my part, I am neither fat nor bald (yet) but someday might be. And, when I see a woman with one of those male swimsuit calendars (with the abs) I run for the hills - no matter how interested in me they seem to be. For some reason the word Bimbo comes to mind!
---obewan on 3/10/10|
Ralph...You should have stayed in ElPaso!
---KarenD on 3/9/10|
KarenD, the only Spanish I speak is food. Burrito, taco, chimichanga, etc. Coincidentally, I was born in the border town of El Paso, TX. I now live in a godforsaken area of the world known as New Jersey.
---ralph7477 on 3/9/10|
Ralph...Do you by chance speak Spanish? The church is on the border of Mexico. Talk about fantastic food!!!!!
---KarenD on 3/8/10|
They can call a man "handsome" and then put him down because his hair is a little thin and he is a little chubby and that he "is everything I've prayed for" and still not be satisfied. We have at least six Godly women in our church who are saving themselves for marriage to a Christian man. Send him our way!
---KarenD on 3/5/10
---miche3754 on 3/8/10|
You say you are in love with him!
But the rest of your question indicates you are not.
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/8/10|
GEE MARY POPPINS!"Perfect in every way". I suppose you do not have any cellulite, big hips, wrinkles etc. You are a perfetc "10". Natural Blonde, perfect portional figure, and never use any make-up.
Vainity, Vainity thy name is woman."
I guess you would reject Jesus The Christ since he was not very good looking.
---John on 3/8/10|
Is it troll hunting season on "christianblogs" again? If so, please return to the cave with 'My Woman Is Fat and Talks'. If this in fact is an honest question, the only hope is to have confidence in Jesus Christ to save you, and his atoning sacrifice on the cross. If you abide in Him and his word abides in you, God will mature you. John 5:38-39, 14:17, Hebrews 12:5- 13, 28, 1John 1:1-5:21.
---Glenn on 3/8/10|
People pray for guidance. When they don't seem to get it, they ask on the internet. After all, can a million monkeys on typewriters be wrong?
---StrongAxe on 3/6/10|
Love him anyways! Hallelujah.
---catherine on 3/6/10|
I admire Ribbon's honesty. I'm glad she asked the question and hope perhaps she sees more clearly now.
---Donna66 on 3/6/10|
What I cant beleive this I pull the site up thinking I was going to be uplifted and this is what I read. Maybe you should talk to God about the way he made his Son. Or maybe you should pray for revelation on what love means.
---Margie on 3/5/10|
KarenD, where is your church?
---ralph7477 on 3/5/10|
I am happily married to a man who fits this description, except for the balding part. He's just plain bald! But, bald is beautiful. Funny thing about some people. They can call a man "handsome" and then put him down because his hair is a little thin and he is a little chubby and that he "is everything I've prayed for" and still not be satisfied. We have at least six Godly women in our church who are saving themselves for marriage to a Christian man. Send him our way!
---KarenD on 3/5/10|
Typical. Never satisfied. If you love this guy, cut him loose. He doesn't need the headache.
---ralph7477 on 3/2/10
thank you Ralph.. took the words right out of my mouth.
Ribbon, do him a favor and don't marry him. Furthermore, spend some time reflecting on why you are so shallow.
---NurseRobert on 3/5/10|
be thankful =)
He sounds like great marriage material!
seriously! are You really wanting a fella like myself? flat tummy,full long hair,
athletic,no job,no car,no 401k,no plans...
You can't have it all...
be thankful for what You got....
before You lose that and have nothing...
---kevin5443 on 3/5/10|
As Cluny points out, you need to decide once and for all if he's everything you hoped for, or not.
But also be aware that if you do dump him and find "Mr. Perfect Abs", within a few decades, he will also probably end up dumpy and bald (and since you'll probably have to compromise on a few other details in order to find him, you'll end up with somebody worse in the long term).
Remember, marriage is supposed to be "for better or for worse". If you're not prepared to accept him "for worse" now, you probably aren't ready for that kind of commitment in the first place.
---StrongAxe on 3/5/10|
Looks fade away.Would you want him to think that same thing about you? Just cause you were a bit chubby,and something else not perfect.Looks don't matter and should be the last thing on the list. It should be what is on the inside that counts.Cause if you look at his heart,and that he is beautiful on the inside,then the outside will look beautiful to you no matter what. Just think as you grow old,you or him won't look the way you do now,and beauty fades away. So i would say if you are just looking on what is the outside,then maybe you need to rethink about getting married. But if you can look past that,and look what is on the inside,after all God doesn't look or judge us by our looks.
---angea on 3/4/10|
PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THIS MAN MISERABLE. Stop the wedding now!!!! Evidentally, you did not pray for a skinny man with hair. Since you are only engaged, just how is it that you know what his body really looks like under his clothes?
---KarenD on 3/3/10|
Take him as he is, and LOVE him regardless. You do love him, right? Then LOVE him. You'll be glad you did. You both can take care of the surfacey stuff later. Just get your relationship solid FIRST. Btw, are you BOTH Christians?, the Bible warns not to be unequally yoked. Seek GOD's Face about what HE wants regarding your relationship, that's the most important question. Then, if GOD gives the Green Light, just LOVE him from then on! :)
---Gordon on 3/3/10|
Loving someone is accepting someone for who they are. Bald head,fat and all. You should not marry him. Your post tells the whole story. You don't truly love this man and are headed for divorce court,even now! You are caught up in the idea of love and marriage not the reality of it all. Marriage is real and is not something to be taken lightly. Your fiancee's feelings should not be trifled with in this way. You would not want to be treated this way. Please don't do this.
---robyn on 3/2/10|
One, his body will belong to you so he should take care of his physique.
Two, don't marry him. Your concerns are a breeding ground for later resentment.
He could be built like Tom Brady on your wedding day and a calamity could later take his hair, legs or worse. Then what?
The purpose of marriage is to better serve the Lord under God's plan for families and fellowship. None of that is noted in your concerns. I don't think you and the Father are in sync on this. Stop by all means. God bless.
---larry on 3/2/10|
Make up your mind. He's either everything you wanted (as you said in the second sentence), or you don't want what he has to offer, as you said towards the end of your post.
You can't have it both ways.
I personally hope the Lord delivers him from marrying you. You clearly do NOT love and value him as he really is.
BTW--I'm sure you're no supermodel yourself.
---Cluny on 3/2/10|
you WERE simply in lust
lusting after a man who was tall and handsome yet having whatever traits and characteristics you prayed for
now that reality has set in and you prepare to own up to accepting his marriage proposal becoming his wife he has mysteriously become unfit for your very hollow higher PHYSICAL standards
You are possibly uncomfortable because you realize whatever traits you prayed for are really secondary to the superficial physical traits you expect
the world has a higher divorce rate because many people marry for the wrong reasons ...don't marry a man you do not truly love
---Rhonda on 3/2/10|
Typical. Never satisfied. If you love this guy, cut him loose. He doesn't need the headache.
---ralph7477 on 3/2/10|
If you are already having these kinds of thoughts and problems about his appearance then I suggest that you don't marry him. Take your time and see if you can work through the appearance issue before you marry. It is important to enter into marriage with assuredness rather than doubt or "wanting more". You will get what you see now. Can't expect him to change later to fit what you "want". Pray about it all and seek God.
---jody on 3/2/10|
"be content with such things as you have" (in Hebrews 13:5)
The most perfect satisfaction of my relating with other Christians is God and His love so beautifully pure and gentle and sweet in His peace. This is what makes us one. Try to add to this and you have trouble, just like adding to God's word.
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/2/10|
You say you are in love with him, that he's everything you've prayed for....Yet it bothers you that he's a "bit chubby and balding". Face it. He will probably always struggle with his weight, and he's almost certain lose more hair....so... If you are uncomfortable with this, DON'T MARRY Him.
(I don't believe you really love him anyhow since, already, even before your marriage, you are wanting more)
---Donna66 on 3/2/10|
Ribbon you need to wait before you tie yourself and this guy in a knot.
Postpone this wedding for a while until you get your mind settled. If you are uncomfortable now you will be miserable later when all of his hair is gone. It appears, according to your statements, that you are attracted to a muscle calendar and not a personality for a mate.
---Elder on 3/2/10|
What do you do? Go by what the Bible says: God does NOT look at the outward man, but the heart. You need to stop being concerned about the outward look of him, and focus on his heart (is he kind, loving, respectful, Godly, pure, a family man, etc.). Right now you are being shallow and NOT Godly.
---Leslie on 3/2/10|
What you do,stop looking at what the world calls handsome and expecting to find that in a mate. You need to look at all you have found in that man, which you prayed for,and God in his goodness has granted unto you and praise God greatly for the love he has shed upon you. I think perhaps a good look at your values would do you good. You can always exercise with him to help him build his muscles,when you're married fix him healthy food to reduce,and get him a hair piece to cover his baldness but a man with Christian virtues is hard to find. Are you such an amazing Beauty Queen that you must have someone to match that? If you love him you better latch on and marry him before someone else sees what a good deal he is and steals him away.
---Darlene_1 on 3/2/10|
I am enjoying my age. Now 73 and a little crippled I am delighted with the passage of time. And I want to take this opportunity to thank the Lord Jesus Christ for the many blessings he has bestowed upon me.
---mima on 3/2/10|
You should do nothing but love him. What is more important to you? his head? his body? or his love? Many marry good looking guys and get step over because they know they can always get someone prettier then you.
---mary on 3/2/10|
He must have good qualities. Are you just getting nervous and wondering if his looks bother you now will they bother you more later? Do you want a better man or just want a better looking "package"? Is something else missing? Looks fade for everyone. You may not find a better looker that respects and loves you for you.
Only you can answer this. Pray and ask for peace of mind and what to do. Is he a man after God's own heart?
Are you both growing in faith in the Lord?
Will you love him and enrich his life? Will you be his helper? Follow his leadership with a willing heart? Will you esteem him highly and give him respect? If these are a real challenge to you, pls have a talk with him about your doubts.
---steph5837 on 3/2/10|
It's more than likely not God encouraging you to look at his appearance. Just make sure you are not unequally yoked. It is better to be alone without a spouse than to be alone with a spouse.
---Fay on 3/2/10|
Send him to a gym to get the abs and to a hair salon to get hair plugs or extensions.
Seriously, God looks at the thoughts and intentions of the heart, so should you.
What did you fall in love with? You said he's handsome, isn't that enough of a physical attraction?
---Donna on 3/2/10|