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My Woman Is Fat and Talks

I am considering marrying my girlfriend, however she is over weight and talks too much. What should I do? Should I wait for someone else?

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 ---Sammy on 3/6/10
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IF she is the one God has chosen for you to marry, then help her(in any way) you could have helped your own blood-sister to overcome those aspects you stated above. 1st step is prayer, other steps may include counselling, dieting and whatever God puts in your heart to do for her. Thank God you have this problem now. A lecturer on campus helped his overweight wife to get back to shape(within 3 weeks) by coming with her early in the morning to the sport-center and run rounds of the field.
---Adetunji on 4/7/10

If you are unhappy with the way she is now then it is best to wait until you are either sure of your desire to marry her or wait someone else comes along. Remember that noone is perfect. Do you love her?
---jody on 4/3/10

Lee, as an overweight woman myself, I resent the implication that overweight people are automatically lacking in good qualities. That's not fair--so do skinny people sometimes.
---Mary on 4/3/10

I would wait for another to come along rather than marry one that is fat and talks too much.

Such people are really lacking in discipline and tend to eat when they face any sort of responsibily. If they cannot be responsibe to themselves, can you expect them to be responsible to others? Doubtful.

There are just far too many good women out there that are looking for husbands, so why got stuck with one lacking good qualities?
---Lee1538 on 4/3/10

Maybe you need to look in the mirror & know you're not perfect either. If the weight is a problem now it won't change later. hopefully it will for the better if she does lose weight for her, not for you. If you still are confused don't marry her 7 save her from your humiliation.
---candice on 4/2/10

Maybe I don't have the right to say her life would be miserable. I guess I should have said, in my opinion to save them both from a marriage that I believe he is not ready to committ to. The reason I see misery for her is because he is asking should he marry her, and in the same sentence he is asking about waiting on another woman.
---BABS on 3/8/10

"SERIOUSLY" if you had to ask this question, then it should be evidence enough that you don't love this lady, and in no way, shape, or form should marry her to make her life miserable after the wedding is over.
---BABS on 3/8/10

Why the men bashing? What gives you the right to decide that he is miserable to live with? Maybe he is a real nice guy. Maybe she would make HIS life miserable if she is a non-stop talker. Non stop talkers are often opinionated and can be nags.
---obewan on 3/8/10

"SERIOUSLY" if you had to ask this question, then it should be evidence enough that you don't love this lady, and in no way, shape, or form should marry her to make her life miserable after the wedding is over. Maybe since the outer appearance is a big issue with you wich will determine who you will fall in love with, maybe you should just release your lady right now, and save her from what could be a lot of heart felt pain in the future.
---BABS on 3/8/10

Actually ralph, I don't post quite as much as I used to and NO, I don't.
Mainly because I am listening. You should try it instead of being sarcastic and cold all the time.:-D

I don't worry about my weight. I worry about being healthy.
And I tell you if a man doesn't love me as I am right now, how can he love me if I am either a few pounds lighter or heavier?
My weight has nothing to do with landing a man at all. Thats just too superficial. Believe me I found out the hard way that no matter what size you are, a man can still break your heart and cheat.
At least I haven't let it beat me down like some have....
---miche3754 on 3/8/10

By the way obewan, you are too funny!!!!!
I loved your last post.

Let me get off here before I get accused of "posting too much". LOL!!!!
---miche3754 on 3/8/10

Miche, do you talk as much as you post here?

Being overweight seems to be more and more common to women for some reason. In the majority of couples at church, the wife weighs more than her husband. Sometimes significantly more. I also see this trend in the population in general.

I'll bet that these women were significantly lighter when they were in acquisition mode, trying to land a husband.
---ralph7477 on 3/8/10

Is this question a response to Ribbon's question about a fat and balding fiance?

If this is a serious inquiry it will require both prayer and christian counseling.
My guess is that God's response will probabsly address just "you", his will and your obedience.
The counselor will deal with your obsession with the temporary.

Why not pray, exercise and talk to your fiance? Both of you will get gloser to the Lord, get fit and you'll understand her communication needs.
---larry on 3/8/10

Some one ring a church bell. Should we expect a troll wedding with 'My Man Is Balding And Fat'. There are people on these blogs who are hurting and looking for God's will, and there are others who are taking the time to write a thoughtful response. In any case, please consider that though innocent, Jesus died in your place for your sins. Believe in Him, accept his sacrifice, because He is the way, the truth, and the life.
John 3:16, 14:6, Romans 8:1-16, 9:32-33, Galatians 4:4-8, Philippians 2:3-11, Colossians 1:21-23, 1Peter 2:6-8, 1John 3:16.
---Glenn on 3/8/10

I want to know what the men here mean by "fat"?
Are all women supposed to look like skeletal models?---miche3754

There is such a thing as too skinny too.

The moderator is the one who used the word "fat" so maybe you should ask him. The person asking the question was actually gentle in using the word "overweight".

I was very much in love with a full figured woman several years ago. Full figured is not fat. 10 or 20 lbs over weight is not fat.

Fat is spherical, elephant legs, 50 or 80 lbs overweight. Fat is gaining 2 lbs a month for years on end due to poor dieting.

Out of 30 single women I saw at singles last Sunday, 19 were fat. I saw them overeat doughtnuts that day too!
---obewan on 3/8/10

I want to know what the men here mean by "fat"?
Are all women supposed to look like skeletal models?
Is it only if she can't see her toes, or reach down and tie her shoes?
What really is "fat"?

I myself used to would NOT date a man that had "done lap" disease. That is when their belly has done lapped over their belt, LOL.
But I have sense changed my mind about that.

And Ralph, not all women talk too much. I happen to love to read.. A LOT! I can read a 700 to 800 page book in less than 2 days!
Be careful with blanket statements like that.
And the man I am dating talks WAY more than I do.
---miche3754 on 3/8/10

We should not be attacking his maturity for his being honest. Perhaps an immature woman would be unconcerned about her weight, health, or diet (if the cause).

He seems like a normal male to me. The fact that he would even date or consider marriage to a "fat" woman speaks of maturity.

Physical attraction is part of every romantic relationship. If a man tells you otherwise, he is lying. Many men ARE dissatisfied with their wive's weight situation - they just lie to keep her happy.

He is trying to air his "concern" in an anonymous blog for Pete's sake. He has not "rejected" her yet.

A "fat" woman has a major crush on me. I am praying for God to change my own heart about her.
---obewan on 3/8/10

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Sammy, if this were me you were talking about, I'd be so hurt and I would cry if I was your girlfriend and saw your post.

You are not ready to be with a woman. A mature man loves a woman for who she is inside, not outside. Granted, men think with their eyes and physical attraction is everything to them, but you take the cake and are very cruel.

It doesn't even sound like you are in love with her...and you're considering marrying her? Gosh, if she sees this post she will be very hurt, don't you think?
---Donna on 3/8/10

Wait. You are way too shallow and selfish to be marrying anyone. Wait for a very long time.
---Robyn on 3/7/10

What difference does our opinion make? At the end of the day it is your decision.

FWIW my best friend married a tiny petite girl. Twelve years later she has ballooned into a sphere. He stands beside her even today in a happy marriage.

The talking is another issue. It would drive me insane. That would be a deal breaker in my case. By too much I presume you mean non-stop. I enjoy my peace and quiet and like to read and do other things. I have known women in my past that have talked themselves horse and into sore throats to the point where they were losing their voice!
---obewan on 3/7/10

Well, personally, I doubt that you really love her, or you would not be having second doubts.
---catherine on 3/6/10

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Sammy, it is sad when people get so caught up in the physical appearance they can't see beyond it into the heart of the person. I am sorry you are hurt. I don't agree with stopping at what will eventually decay anyway. Usually such "standards" are rooted more in what others think than any independent thought.
---Linda on 3/6/10

KarenD, yes I am and the other blog hurt my feelings. I do my best, yet it obviously isn't good enough for her.
---Sammy on 3/6/10

Do not marry her. If you marry her she could sue you for Cruel and Unjust punishment.
You need someone just like yourself so you can be happy about how perfect they are.
Since she talks too much does it disturb you when she tells you how retarded you are?
---Elder on 3/6/10

Sammy...Are you a handsome, slightly chubby and balding man?
---KarenD on 3/6/10

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I wonder why she is your girl friend?

Is it just routine that you go out together?

It does not sound as if you love her.

She would be better with someone else who did love her!!
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/6/10

Sounds to me like Sammy is making a statement about the "Bald and Chubby BF" blog.

And people are falling for it...
---NurseRobert on 3/6/10

No one can make the decision for you Sammy. But here are a few thing to think about. Are you going to resent her being over weight when you get up each morning. Can you take her places with you with out being embarrassed. You say she talks a lot, can she hold an intelligent conservation with others beside your self. Are you are in a profession where a wife's demeanor is important to your professional advancement and success. The way you phrased your question make me feel that you are apprehensive all ready. Go with your gut feelings. I is better to prevent a problem now then to respond to a problem later.
---Friendly_Blogger on 3/6/10

They all talk a lot so waiting for a different one won't make much of a difference. Although I do wonder how these women who talk non stop can also be overweight because it's pretty hard to talk and eat at the same time.
---ralph7477 on 3/6/10

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If you feel this way about your girlfriend, then she isn't God's choice for you. You need to pray about this and ask God to bring you the wife He has for you.
---eric on 3/6/10

Sounds to me like she should wait for someone else..If you really love her, that stuff would not bother you.
---a_friend on 3/6/10

Leave her Sammy, trust me, she is much better off without you!
---Mary on 3/6/10

Have to agree with Darlene on this one. Honestly, if she has to meet your "perfection" standards, she will only end up in bondage. She may be overweight and talk too much, but you may not be a very good listener. I don't know but I am sure she can find something if she looks hard enough. I speak as a happily married overweight woman who talks too much and whose husband is happy as long as I am.
---Linda on 3/6/10

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If those two things bother you about your girlfriend now,they will drive you crazy when you are married. You might could deal with her being overweight but I think her being overtalkative would not be easy to overlook. With your doubts I would say you need to be sure of how you really feel about her. It may indeed be wise to wait for someome with whom you are more compatable. Love covers many faults and if there isn't enough love from you to her to overlook those faults I would suspect there isn't as much love as one needs to have a lasting mariage. With all the ups and downs which come with life love must be strong. Pray really hard before you marry her and be sure thats the right thing to do.
---Darlene_1 on 3/6/10

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