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Should I End My Marriage

My Husband and I fight most of the time I have tried everything. He has deep problems He is very angry and critical. This has been happening for years. Please don't respond with "Have you seen a counselor?"When I say I have tried everything I mean it. Does there come a time when you have to end it?

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 ---Judy on 3/12/10
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Deep problems of anger critical condemning eventually lead to bitterness -your husband may be there now - bitterness far more difficult to overcome then anger.

Remember you are not to save anyone on this earth you are to work out your own salvation.

Staying with a man who refuses counseling and is determined to continue along a path of self-destruction has the power to take you with him.

Leave now before this anger consumes you. Distance yourself, heal yourself, and allow yourself to be whole again.

When you are whole again - this may take years if you have been in this abusive situation for a lengthy time - then you can seek out your husband again to see if your marriage is worth saving but first save yourself!!
---tenderhearts on 1/17/15


You used a key word "fight" if you are returning the blow's you need to look long and hard at why you need to resort to the same manner of return that causes a fight to be so explosive.

You are going to have to Learn the art of silence, It's a lesson most married couples neglect, the advice comes to you because you have been given the thorn it cannot be removed WITHOUT love.

Love your husband regardless of his actions, and if you can meditate on the scripture's God will do the fighting for you, "...the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the believing wife...", if you are saved that is. Furthermore, forgiveness is 77 x 7 per day !
---Carla on 1/11/15


Wow! Times,the Lord wakes me up & for a reason, heartache pain,disapointment I been there, too. like me, doing the best you can do under the strain, hope you be safe! It it got bad, I turn and beat him so, yes,I turn myself in, did time, etc..but, it turn out to be a blessing not a curse Domestic Vio.,
Christ never in effective, we. broken,angry, we all are not the same.I truly, gain fr my experience God is always, the same we are human, prone to failure, but it not because of God.You did as you felt to leave removd fr danger, etc..the only thing it does not make God ineffective, or not reasonable, we are human, He is divine.No failure in Him.Thank God you are out, alive go on with your life.love of Jesus!
---Elena_9555 on 11/22/14


YES. To end your marriage is better as I am in like circumstances and there is no new creation in Christ and no improvement and it has exacted a toll. Otherwise, the Bible solution is to win your husband by becoming submissive to him and thus win his love. 1 Peter 3:6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
---sin5694 on 11/21/14


I don't know. Ask God!++I do know God wants peace for all of His people.
---catherine on 4/19/10




My prayers and sympathy to you. You are in a very tough spot beloved. I hope you have a job and are not dependent on this man, for anything. You need to separate from this man, for a while. Perhaps permanently. Anger,critical, fighting. Sounds like a recipe for something terrible to eventually,happen. Don't hang around to find out. You may get the worse end of the deal. Ask God to help you make the right choice. Life is too short to spend fighting and living badly. Sometimes we do have to end some things and start over,if possible.
---Robyn on 4/18/10


Judy: What a predicament! I can't advise you to divorce as it is not Biblical unless he has been unfaithful. However, you might want to try living alone so that you can find peace and to draw close to the Lord. It is difficult to seek God with all of that distraction. All I can say is to find a way to devote as much time as possible to God (seeking and serving Him). Only He can help you with your problems. Bible teaches that He is a rewarder to those who diligently seek Him. Pray with all you have for your husband. He really needs God's help.
---jody on 4/16/10


If he is violent, yes. He might kill you. Is he adulterous? If so, you may be in danger.
---Betty on 4/16/10


God does not force anyone to His kingdom. All He does is convicts the heart of sin, of their rebellion against Him, and they open their hearts to Christ in complete surrender. No one forces them, they come willingly. With open arms asking for forgiveness.
God does not throw a net to see what He will catch. He already knows who will be save and who will not. He is not fishing for man. He is collecting what belongs to Him already from the foundations of the world.
---MarkV. on 3/29/10


It is hard when dealing with such problems in a relationship that is suppose to last forever. However, we are not perfect. should you leave? That is not an answer that anyone can answer. For what God has put together, no one should tear apart. That is a question you will have to meditate on. Talk to God and lay it all on him. He knows all. If only I knew the scriptures to guide you. but it is there. You are probably familiar with them. May God bless you.
---felissa on 3/28/10




JohnV John 6:44 is speaking of those who came to Christ after the Holy Spirit drew them. Scripture does not teach that anyone is forced to accept Christ. If I draw a net to catch fish the ones not in the net do not belong to me.
---Elder on 3/28/10


God does not draw all man to Himself. If He did then all would be save. There is no choosing whether you want to come alive or not when he draws you. You are dead in your trespassess and sins, spiritually dead. And when God draws you, He draws you to life. You do not reject God drawing you and then go back to been dead again.
"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him, (now listen to what happens to those that His Father draws) and I will raise him up at the last day" Joh 6:44.
All those that the Fathers draw He sents to Christ so that they will be raise by Christ on the last day.
---MarkV. on 3/28/10


It is said by some:
"Some do not choose not to listen,"
How can they listen if, they cannot hear, see, or perceive the things of God, they need a New Heart, eyes to see, and ears to hear spiritual matters of salvation and that comes by the Holy Spirit.
No one can give himself a new heart to perceive, eyes to see and ears to hear, no one can understand Scripture unless the Holy Spirit brings light to God's Word.
Salvation is completely of the Lord.
---MarkV. on 3/28/10


God's spirit draws ALL men to him.
Some choose NOT to listen.
They choose NOT to believe the truth thats placed before them.
Christ died for the sins of all mankind.
All they have to do is change their minds=REPENT! and believe Christ.
They choose not to.
its NOT God sending them to hell.
They send themselves to hell for not believing.
Jesus himself says that they are condemned because they don't believe.
This isn't spiritual, Markv. Its the truth and anyone with fleshly eyes can see that
the death and resurrection of Christ isn't a spiritual matter. Its God's proof that he's God. If man doesn't want to believe, its their fault NOT God's.
YOU are blaming God for man's sin by believing what you believe.
---miche3754 on 3/27/10


Please print...

By the way Markv,

Take the name of Jesus and fit it in where the bible says "The Word" and you will have what God is really telling us.

John 1 says Jesus is THE WORD became flesh.
That is a key to finding God's truth.

I am not sure why I even bother to try to help you.
The way you believe a person gets saved is wrong, you really believe the Holy Spirit comes into to them first when God's word says it comes upon a person by his WORD and convicts them of sin and they REPENT=Change mind, and Believe. THEN the HS comes inside them and teaches them the spiritual things.
The Spiritual things don't come until a person gets saved.
---miche3754 on 3/27/10


A person can stay forever rejecting God with his free will and find himself in hell for supporting that view, for it will be the determining factor on his own destiney.
For God has to draw you to Himself in order for anyone to be save. Without that drawing, you continue the path you were already in, condemn already by the curse of Adam.
When God draws you to Himself the Holy Spirit brings life to an individual in order for the person to see, hear, or comprehend any spiritual matters.
Salvation is all of God no matter how much individuals want to take credit with their free will's.
---MarkV. on 3/26/10


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Markv,
I am not going to get into the whole Sovereign God thing with you because you just can't wrap your mind around God WANTING US TO CHOOSE him and not making us choose him.
You have me thinking that you don't understand what real love is.
So, I will give this over to Shawn and Nana and others to explain that God wants us to choose and he does not make us choose him.
You should really study up on what real love is. Then you will find out who God truly is and how he operates calling ALL men to him because he loves all men.
---miche3754 on 3/25/10


If God waited for fallen man to change his mind He would have wait till the Second Coming which would be too late, since man is condemned already through Adam. That theory only shows:
1. that God is under obligation to man.
2. That man is running the show while spiritually dead and heading to hell.
3. That God does not know what you will do.
4. That the future is in the hands of fallen man and not God.
5. That there is hope but that hope is in man.
Fallen man is in the flesh, he cannot please God. Scripture clearly declares,
"For they stumble because they disobey the Word, "as they were destine to do" but you (the saved) are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation 1 Peter 2:8.
---MarkV. on 3/25/10


John 8:9, those who heard Jesus words, "being convicted by their conscience went out one by one"
This people minds were change by the words of Jesus. But none of them believed in Christ and ask Him to save them. They left Jesus alone. Another bad interpretation to try to make the first one right.
John 10:37,38 is speaking to the same kind of people didn't believe Jesus. They didn't believe since they had no faith. Jesus even said, "You blaspheming, because I said I am the Son of God." If they had a new heart they would be loving Him and believing in Him. This is just another attempt to cover up the false interpretations of God's Word.
---MarkV. on 3/25/10


Thank you nana. markv, you are right that a person has to have a broken heart. BUT, Jesus cant fix that heart UNTIL the person changes their mind about Jesus. They have to believe Jesus can and will fix them. This is repentance and faith. God doesnt give man faith because God has already shown he is real by the things he has created and most important by sending his son, Jesus. If a person cant believe based on these simple and real truths then it is their fault they are condemned.
---miche3754 on 3/25/10


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"A Changed heart starts with a changed mind. To change your mind is the same as repenting.
Repent and believe just like Jesus said. "
---miche3754 on 3/24/10

Most excellent miche3754!
John 8:9: "... being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest..."
It was their mind that Jesus was appealing here:
John 10:37_38:"If I do not the works of my Father, believe me not. But if I do, though ye believe not me, believe the works: that ye may know, and believe, that the Father is in me, and I in him."
---Nana on 3/24/10


Strongax, many are called, but few are chosen.
---Eloy on 3/25/10


Eloy:

You said: By your own words you do manifest that you are no part of my body and earlier for you will then be of my mind and of my same body

We are all called to be part of the mind and body of Christ, not the mind and body of Eloy. You may be part of the body of Christ, but you yourself are not Christ. If you seriously believe that you are Christ (or that anyone who disagrees with you for any reason must also be disagreeing with Christ), then you have fallen into the same great delusion that many pseudo-Christian cult leaders have fallen into again and again.
---StrongAxe on 3/24/10


/Romans 12
1Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
3For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think, but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith/

A Changed heart starts with a changed mind. To change your mind is the same as repenting.
Repent and believe just like Jesus said.
---miche3754 on 3/24/10


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Judy, do and say those things that you know please both of you together.
---Eloy on 3/24/10


Nana, the prodical son is a parable. First of all he didn't change his heart, but change his mind when he found out he needed food to survive. He had no other choice. His heart was still the same. It would be like someone coming to Christ so that he can have the gifts of the Spirit, but coming to Christ has to do with a broken heart, a contrite heart. Otherwise there is no salvation.

Second, we have two passages mentioned here, One in Eze. 18:31, which is an implicit statement which seems to say something but not fact, while the passage in Eze. 36:24-27 is clearly an explicit statement. Which is fact. Explicit statements do not imply anything. And third, the two cannot contradict each other. For the Bible does not contradict.
---MarkV. on 3/24/10


"and get yourselfs a new heart and a new spirit."
NIV, get
NLT, find
GW, get
All the rest use make
ESV, NASB, KJV, AKJV, ASV, BIBE, Douay, DBT, ERV, WBT, WEB, YLT, GSB.

Man indeed can change his heart. A simple example is the prodigal son, Luke 15:17: "And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!" That means he came to his senses. That sense in man is what God was stimulating in Ezekiel 18. If hearts came factory ready, why God teaches every man? Why Paul exorts the redeemed to not be lazy, rather to be diligent evenmore?
---Nana on 3/24/10


\\Donna, constantly opposing what I say, and misjudging and dissing me is not from Christ,\\

Oh, it IS! It IS! It IS!

Consider yourself rebuked in the Name of Jesus.

You have to understand, Eloy. Spiritual things are spiritually discerned, and you function in the pride of your own flesh.
---Cluny on 3/23/10


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Eloy, I'm not constantly opposing what you say. This is the first time I took you on because you said I wasn't saved, wasn't a Christian and I am. YOU judged me so I'm responding to that judgement.

The Blessings of the Lord make it rich and He adds no sorrow to it.

I have noticed your theories clash with others on this board.

I actually do love you, I just don't trust everything you say. That doesn't make me unsaved. The bible tells us to test every spirit. Not to put trust in men/flesh.
---Donna on 3/23/10


Donna, constantly opposing what I say, and misjudging and dissing me is not from Christ, but from sin. By your own words you do manifest that you are no part of my body and none of my family: for you cannot say that you are in Christ, but bear sinuous fruits: and you cannot say that you are saved, but malign the saint sent by Christ. My Lord Almighty tells me: "Every weapon formed sharpened against you will not succeed: and every tongue opposing you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of Yhwh, and their righteousness from me, says Yhwh."
---Eloy on 3/23/10


Judy, you say that you and your husband fight most of the time, and you say that your husband has deep problems. Instead of you both fighting most of the time, do not fight most of the time, and help each other with each to address and find solutions to the problems. It is a choice to fight or not fight, and instead of fault-finding each other which most people do when fighting with each other, find things that you both have in common. Make each other happy by doing and ssaying those things that you know please each other. Life is too short to be figting with each other, be friends and love each other instead, then you will be happier.
---Eloy on 3/23/10


Eloy, I think you are going to get hurt when you fall off of your self-righteous throne.
I am not speaking falsehood just because I disagree with you. Paul the Apostle didn't agree with Barnabas and he let him go. They split and went their separate ways.

Saying Yes or No doesn't mean I'm NOT saved.

I truly am saved but thank you for suggesting I'm not, now you've heaped blessings upon my life with a judgement call like that.

Also, Eloy I noticed you try really hard to sound so spiritual whereas I'm a down to earth Christian. If I disagree with you, that's my right to do that. It doesn't mean I'm not saved or I'm of the devil, whatever. I do love you, I just don't trust you.
---Donna on 3/23/10


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Nana, the passage you gave that a person can make for himself a new heart, does not say what you say it says. You should have checked Scripture as to who gives you a new heart and a new Spirit.
Before I answer your passage look first, Eze. 36:24-27, clearly says that "God gives you a new heart and a new spirit" man cannot of himself make himself a new heart.
Second the passage you gave does not say, "make yourself a new heart"
It reads,
"Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed" which means to repent. "and get yourselfs a new heart and a new spirit." Confess your sins and you get a new heart and a new spirit.
---MarkV. on 3/23/10


Judy,

is he a Christian man?
If he is, he is not in the will of God right now. God says for husbands to LOVE their wives and wives should respect their husbands.
Now, if he is NOT doing his part and you ARE, separate from him for a while.
And let God work on him. Lean on God. Do not file for divorce, though. Allow God to work sister.
If it is meant for you to not to be together, then he will do the divorcing. If it is meant for you to be together, he will make the effort.
---miche3754 on 3/23/10


MarkV, Lee1538, FYI:
Ezekiel 18:31_32: "Cast away from you all the transgressions that you have committed, and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit! Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God, so turn, and live."
---Nana on 3/23/10


Eloy, you want to answer to condemn because we question some of what you say, like you just did when you said to me,

make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit,"?

Oh, so now you are saying you can make for yourself a new heart and a new spirit? Is this a new revelation by Eloy? Wow, that is not even in Scripture. Man cannot make his heart new, nor can he add the spirit to it.
Maybe you mean he has to get reborn a second time as you to understand that new revelation of yours.
---MarkV. on 3/22/10


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Eloy - having served in jail ministries, I have seen but not a few that beleive themselves to be Jesus Himself.

Apparently such mental disarrangement is something that may be happening to you.

You best see a mental health professional before you really go off the edge and hurt yourself or worst yet someone else.

While you may or may not be a Christian, you clearly need help in healing of the mind.

Sorry to say this to you, but I know one when I see one.
---Lee1538 on 3/22/10


Lee and MarkV, "This thereupon know, that in final days people will be desecrating speakers, unholy, slanderers, not lovers of good. If they have called the Lord of the house beelzebub, how much more them of his household? And because I tell you the truth, you all believe me not. Which of you maligns me of sin? And if I say the truth, why do you all not believe me? The person that is of God, hears God's words: you all therefore hear not, because you all are not of God. Throw away from you all your disobedience whereby all you have disobeyed in them, and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit, for why will you all die? For I do not desire the death of the one who dies, says the Lord Yhwh, so turn and live you all."
---Eloy on 3/22/10


Truly, truly I say to you, after a person gets saved, the person will likewise find their old worldliness and mocking of Christians to be boring and foolish.
---Eloy on 3/22/10


Eloy //The one that is for me, is not against me: and the one that disses the Christian does not represent the Christian, but represents the condemned sinner.

I guess humility is not one of your more dominant traits as a Christian.

However, there is such a thing as becoming mature as a Christian to the point that you do not condemn others that have viewpoints different than yours.

While Christ did state 'The one who hears you hears me, and the one who rejects you rejects me, and the one who rejects me rejects him who sent me.'Lk. 10:16 does not pertain to you because you are not the Jesus you imagine yourself to be, nor are you like a burning bush that utters truth.
---Lee1538 on 3/20/10


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Eloy - you can spot a Christian more by their activities than what they may believe about their religion or theology.

If you see them doing what they can to feed the hungry, clothes the naked, visit those in jails or sick, witnessing of what Christ has done in their lives, contributing large percentage of their income to the Lord's work, active in a church that preaches the gospel, and in general have fellowship with other Christians, then most likely they are genuine Christians.

For those of us who have eyes that see, we can see Christ in their lives.

And yes, one can see the the employment of various spiritual gifts (1 Cor. 12-14) as well as exhibiting the fruits of the Holy Spirit in their lives (Gal. 5:22f)
---Lee1538 on 3/20/10


Lee, did you get that? be of good shear for Cluny just got the same talk on another blog from Eloy. Except Cluny got the, "Get save" answer. One has to be careful how they answer Eloy. oh, I forgot, we are in the internet, we are far apart, praise God, because if we were close to each other, no telling how Christains would act.
---MarkV. on 3/20/10


Lee1538, Many unsaved people disagree with me and say that I am wrong. But the reason they say these lies is because they themself think that all people are sinners as they themself are, and they have not become born-again yet. And I will continue to preach this gospel to the separated, and each soul is judged accountable for their acceptance or else rejection. And knowing whom are the souls that are of my body and whom is yet to become part of my family is very evident in their antiChrist fruits. For out of the mouth the heart speaks, and I know you by your fruits. The saved are manifested by their Christian fruits. You cannot say that you are Christian whom loves and accepts Christ, but also disses and rejects the Christ speaker.
---Eloy on 3/20/10


Lee, the saved of God whom are godly do not dis the godly, nor does the Christian whom loves and accepts Christ dis the Christ speaker. I Eloy am from Christ, and I Eloy am Christian. The one that is for me, is not against me: and the one that disses the Christian does not represent the Christian, but represents the condemned sinner.
---Eloy on 3/20/10


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Eloy,// For when I say "Yes", then you say "No", and when I say "No", then you say "Yes", this is not love but the manifested opposite, opposition to love

Donna is simply following scripture -

//Mt 5:37 Let what you say be simply Yes or No, anything more than this comes from evil.

Eloy Please do NOT question someone else salvation because they happen to disagree with you. You know not what their relationship is with the Lord, whether they are fully mature or simply a babe in Christ.
---Lee1538 on 3/20/10


Donna, you are speaking falsehood when you say that you love us in the Lord. For when I say "Yes", then you say "No", and when I say "No", then you say "Yes", this is not love but the manifested opposite, opposition to love. When you get saved Donna, then you will no longer be able to blaspheme but instead will you be able to speak truth rather than lie, for you will then be of my mind and of my same body and of my family.
---Eloy on 3/20/10


Judy, you show you do not want advice from anyone on how to fix your marriage when you said, "please don't respond" then you say you have tried everything which means again please, no help. So your question is, "does there come a time when you have to end it? You are seeking everyones approval. Most abused women have said, leave him, but they have a reason, they were abused. you didn't say a word about being abused. You are just tired of your marriage and give reasons why. You argue. You need no advice from anyone. Do what you already want to do. You do not need permission from anyone.
---MarkV. on 3/20/10


Cluny and Eloy - I love you both in the Lord Jesus.

However both of you are saying something TOTALLY IN ERROR (unless of course you've lived with someone who was physically abusing you).

Your husband can't fight you if you don't fight back. It takes two to make an argument and only one to end it.
---Cluny on 3/12/10

When I didn't fight back, my husband beat me harder and kicked me when I fell down. I never ever fought back and got beat worse than if I would have. So please STOP saying this, okay? Us Christian women have been beaten by so called Christian men. Now they serve the devil through drugs and alcohol.
---Donna on 3/19/10


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That is exactly why i propose we dont rush into marriage.....over the short- term, people can mask their true selves, and we are so enamored in the attraction/infatuation phase that we miss those clues as to the real character of our mates...living 2gether before marriage is also flawed, by becoming "one" before the covenant u open yourself up to all kinds of grievances, both naturally and spiritually.
---larry on 3/19/10


If he ain't going nowhere why would you end it, It takes two to argue. Unfortunately whether you like it or not you are called to work it out, Harsh I know but since you have Christ in your life, you know it takes a sound mind and a prayed up life to deal with the underlying issues, Look beyond your husband as try to see satan for what he is doing. Yes your husband allows the devil to use him but you also have a responsible part.

He is a soul and one that you once loved, treat him well, prepare his meals wash his clothes, don't look for thanks from him the rewards come from God, love him when it don't make sense in the process you just may win him to the Lord!
---Carla on 3/19/10


Judy - if you were to split with the guy, perhaps he will find someone else to fulfill his needs and that would let you off the hock.

Separation may be the vehicle for that to happen.
---Lee1538 on 3/19/10


\\1 Cor. 7:13- Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise the wife also unto the husband. \\

"Due benevolence" here is a euphemism for sexual satisfaction.
---Cluny on 3/19/10


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Get a seperation. He is taking you for granted. He will see this when you are no longer there anymore.

1 Cor. 7:13- Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise the wife also unto the husband.

Why keep crying and crying because someone is hurting you? Get a seperation, and allow yourself some time in the day to cry during the seperation. You will heal and move on, but if this keeps up, you will just keep getting more and more hurt.
---amand6348 on 3/16/10


Perhaps! You should be happy and you have a right to be happy and to have a happy life.
---catherine on 3/14/10


KarenD ... Sounds a bit theoretical!

I would have thought that if the couple separate, there would be outside temptations.

Either or both may seek comfort elsewhere ... then you have grounds for biblical divorce antway.

But if the seoaration is for a specified time, so that each can see whether that want to get back together, I suppose it may work.
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/14/10


Why do people always think divorce is the answer? Why not separate from each other if there are problems? The Bible says that God hates divorce.
---KarenD on 3/13/10


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Yes....but only you can answer this question. Do not allow the judgments of shallow minded people to influence you.
---chris on 3/13/10


Don't be so hard on the poor woman people! I was married to a man just like that for 6 years of hell! And at one point I was advised--by another woman--to "just be more submissive" which hurt like the dickens when I was already being abused. My heart goes out to this lady.
---Mary on 3/13/10


You say he is angry and critical. I would also guess he is frustrated and stressed out. Men don't like being told what to do, because it undermines their concept of what their manhood is all about. What you describe appears to be his attempt to make you back off from directing him.

"Wives, submit to your husbands." That can be one of the most difficult scriptures to read when you are in the position you describe. Really, though, what is submission, but agreement?

Arguments require two people with strongly-rooted opposing stances. Ask yourself, are the fights important disagreements over real issues, or merely struggles for winning the "Who is Right?" fight?
---Elaine on 3/13/10


Try to pray for him.Give him to God's hand...
---Mayka on 3/13/10


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What does God say...for you to do? and if your a professing christain, my advice would be do whatever HE says...you might not like what he says... and even think God is unsympathetic and if that is the case, do what you want to do. Which you have already have done in your own mine and 'seems" like you just need some conformation. lol

ps if you can not live like that you will find some "verse" to get out of it. Notn verses
---steven-rem7000 on 3/13/10


You say you've tried everything so tell me what did God say.
By fighting do you mean just fussing or hitting?
If there is violence you must leave for safety reasons ASAP. Divorce papers is a separate issue, but be slow to do anything God HATES.

We also don't know if you are unequally yolked, if you two are under spiritual oppression or have backsliden.

I can GUARANTEE that couples struggling aren't praying together. The two are not compatible. Bring yourself together in prayer and it will bring you closer to God and the healing of your marriage. Don't let the sun set on your anger.
Again, if you married a pagan outside of God's will then sin has some consequences you will not escape. Sorry.
---larry on 3/13/10


Judy, Do you really love GOD? Do you really want to follow HIM? Does your husband claim to be a follower of GOD? Is he WILLING to follow HIM, including letting go of his angry and critical spirit? GOD says not to be unequally yoked. His people are to be married to the ones who also love and follow HIM. Otherwise, the spouse who wants to follow HIM will be liable to veer off the Narrow Path. If you ARE wanting to follow the LORD, and your husband (definitely) is not wanting to follow HIM, then he is free to leave you. It's in the Holy Scriptures. But, do you have any clue as to why your husband is as he is? Love him enough to talk with him (though you probably) already have. Seek YAHUVEH's Face FIRST, though! Blessings.
---Gordon on 3/13/10


You need not be enslaved by someone that continually abuses you. In your case, have you tried separation for a period of time? That may make him understand why he married you in the first place or even get him to thinking how much he may need you.

I would at least try the separation thing first and see where that leads.
---Lee1538 on 3/13/10


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It's simple. You either divorce him, or it gets to the point where he kills you or injures you for life.
---Bob on 3/12/10


WOW TheSeg, you sound like the perfect husband!!
As for the question here, I would say, just try not to let it get to you, I know its hard, I have been there and still am at times. But I have learnd that its best to not keep the fighting going. after he has had the last word said and a few minutes has past, try to start a new conversation you know he will be interested in and talk calm about, and act as tho nothing has happened. That is if there was not abuse to you of course. He sounds like he may be depressed for some reason.
---a_friend on 3/12/10


It takes "two" to fight, "you" be repsonsible and "you" stop fighting. Try praying together.
---Eloy on 3/13/10


I want to mourn with you, Because I have lived with a man such as this, yet he was violent as well. But the bible doesn't allow divorce on that. Only by adultry.
My spouse was very arrogant, angry, and bitter and hostle torward me. He stoped all itamacy, touch, and communication. And if I tried to speak anything about our marriage, He became very angry, like a lion with a thorn. With all the words and violence and hate one can have. Yet I begged the Lord for years, I think the more I tried to fix our problem it got worse. So when I was about to walk out after a violent night the day before my b day. I cried out to God with all my hart and asked God to help me I give up, I cant do it. And honestly the next morning was sunday.
Continued
---MissB on 3/12/10


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Continued2 Thenext morning was my bday He acted asif nothing was wrong, and said tome that I can ask anything and he will do whatever.Isaid Iwant togo to church. And he went to church with me. And God convicted his hart, and we went afew more times and God Bent hisknees to repent and he started reading the word we istening to Christian broadcasts onthe radio andtv. like Charles Stanly and JohnMacArthur and true bible teaching preachers.More and more myhusband is becomming the man of God. Im greatful toour Lord for. I suffered alot, no itimacy, feeling used and abuised and rejected, shamed,spit onand hated because Iwas a christian. He hated Christians. It took yearsof prayer and lettinggo of my trying tofix it and asking God toDeal with him.
---MissB on 3/12/10


Your husband can't fight you if you don't fight back. It takes two to make an argument and only one to end it.

Is there any chance that YOU might have "deep problems"? That YOU might be "very angry and critical"?
---Cluny on 3/12/10


Judy, cast all your cares upon HIM for He careth for you.

Ask the Lord, "Lord, what should I do here?"

Pour your heart out to the Lord and let Him guide you. He said in the Psalms, "I will counsel you with mine eye upon you."

The bible tells us, "if possible, be at peace with all men."

I couldn't be at peace with my ex-husb. because he began to beat me up. I let him do that for 8 months, then God had him removed by the police. God will intervene if you pray to Him about your situation.
---Donna on 3/12/10


I hope this helps. My wife is ill, has been for years. Does she love me? She says she does. There is no talking. Its almost seems as if I am alone. I cook, clean, shop and well all. I am a slave to what I feel is a loveless marriage. Should I go out and have a good time with friends. Put her in a hospital?
Why am I telling you this? I dont know.

Why am I doing this? Is it because of God, Christ or Christianet? No!
I am doing this because, somehow I know in my heart. This woman, who I call my wife, would have done the same.

I guess not everyone is happy, in the here and now.
GodBless!
---TheSeg on 3/12/10


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prayer and Fasting! Jesus: "divorce is because unfaithfulness", and still that can be worked out, The fight "thing" signify spiritual instability, Satan "rattle both of your cages": all of a sudden you are watching tv he walks in and changes the channel without asking and the fight starts Interesting? Read Ephesians but pay close attention to 5 and 6 do not read them casually read them to get something out of it and pray Ephesian 1:14-20 Ephesians 3:14-21 put your name "Jack and Jane" where it says: "I, you, we, amd me" and do this for 30 days and watch, that devil will leave so fast because you got him on the run because you recognised and you are not alone in this warfare. IN JESUS NAME!
---Felix5733 on 3/12/10


You haven't tried "everything."

However, it sounds like you are looking for support for what you have already made up your mind for what you want to do.

Is Christ first in your life now, and will He be first in your life if you make a major decision here to "end it?"
---Rod4Him on 3/12/10


have you tried self-denying?
---ds on 3/12/10


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