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Married Pastor Future Husband

When I first got saved 3 years back, pastor told me his current marriage is in shambles and he loves me and God is showin him I am to be his wife. Eventually I fell for him. He is still married to his wife but cant seem to let me go. We fight always but now it's too hard to let him go. Is there a way out?

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 ---Lyd on 3/19/10
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Sounds like a big ball of confusion that you and the pastor have into but the power of God is able to release you from the snares that the devil has you in. You never should have believe the lie that God was showing you to this man to be his NOW wife. If he would have said that after his first wife passed away then that would be more acceptable because marriage is until death do us part. I believe God will show you who their future spouse WILL BE once their current spouse is off the scene but not to get in an adulterous relationship with them while they're still married. This was a trick from the devil and the only way out is through confession of your sins, asking God and the congregation for forgiveness and possibly changing your memebership.
---Nickie on 4/26/10


Get your own husband, and leave the married ones alone.
---Eloy on 4/26/10


You are being lied too. The pastor can't marry you even if his marriage is a shambles, based on Scripture. He can only divorce his wife if she has commited adultery, but he can't re-marry in any situation. Just forget him - find another church. It may not be easy to forget him, but just remember, if he is cheating on his wife, what's to keep him from cheating on you?
---WIVV on 4/25/10


1stTIMOTHY 3
1 This is a statement that can be trusted:
If anyone sets his heart on being a PASTOR,
he desires something excellent.
2 A PASTOR must have a good reputation.
HE MUST HAVE ONLY ONE WIFE,
be sober,use good judgment,
be respectable,be hospitable,
and be able to teach.
3 He must not drink excessively
or be a violent person,but he must be gentle.
He must not be quarrelsome or LOVE MONEY.
4 He must manage his own family well.
His children should respectfully obey him.
---cecil on 4/19/10


Hi, my sugestion,as an openion to sulotion.
There is a different between a believer and a christian.A beliver believes in christ and the doctrine of christ.But a christian live a perfect life like christ.so if a couple who are servants of God alwys fight each other.It means that the both are still in the category of Belivers. They need to grow to be christians.But i pray for God's intervetion in such marriage.
THANKS. Let me know if you need other sugestions from me.
---collins on 4/18/10




#1 Lyd: Anyone trying to find 'a way out' of sin's mastery in a godly way, will find that there is 'no easy way out'. I saw your other question on what the consequences might be, I maintain that you seek to learn the consequences of staying in this adulterous relationship, rather than out of it. The weighing up of how much soul dare be sold and be repurchase by God's grace. I'm convince that your paramour pastor is behind you now, hence the 'happy ending'. You regret putting up the question now, as he has made greater efforts to appease you. If you really want to see how much he'll do for you, try staying away from him, I tell you, the longer you manage to do this, the more dogged he will become. Want to see him beg?
---John_II on 4/16/10


#2 Lyd: A trustworthy indication of someone in the false church is that they proclaim that they are saved, as though it were a purchasable license - even the most Christ-minded have their doubts at times. You say that God is now 'leading' you to a fresh start, I say that this cannot be. You haven't had a thimble full of God's word 'poured into your lap'! You haven't understood the gravity of your situation, you have the opportunity to cut off that which God hates and leads to judgement, a chance to redeem yourself by disclosing your trysts to his wife. If you don't then God will use someone else, it's always a matter of time, leaving you to grow old before your time. Don't become the woman who God uses to send men to their deaths!
---John_II on 4/16/10


Thank you everyone for your kind advise and replies. The Lord is helping me leave it all behind and start afresh. If anyone does remember, pls do pray for me.

God bless you all.
---Lyd on 4/15/10


I know it is difficult to imagine, but you need to walk away from such a man. God would never lead a married pastor to involve himself with a baby Christian woman. Leave the church and never go back to see him again. None of your experience with him was/is of God. Pray for him. Seek God diligently and He will reward you. Yes! There is a way out. Just prayerfully walk away and don't look back.
---jody on 4/13/10


Desire can be so strong that even the most determined person cannot fight against his flesh.

As a Christian, your identity was changed. You have embraced a life in which you became a citizen of God's Kingdom. In His Kingdom, He knows everything. By His Law, He explains what He will and will not accept in His Kingdom.

Sin is breaking the rules. You asked for forgiveness, and became new in Christ. Then you trusted a man of flesh, and were drawn back into sin. If there is anything you should know about being a Christian, it is the fact that not every Christian you meet will abide by the rules. Remember that, to develop your skills of discernment. Take all temptation out of this matter..."staying friends" will never work.
---Elaine on 4/13/10




God would not get a married man to date, keep company with, or propose to another man or woman. This man is leading you astray into adultery. Jesus said, "If a man even looketh on another woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery with her already in his heart."
---Betty on 4/13/10


STAY AWAY FROM THIS MAN - do not talk with him, do not have any contact with him. He is not a man of god. Any married pastor that said god gave him a vision that you are to be his future wife, is of the darkness, NOT the light. Any man who divorces his wife and remarries another , but for the cause of fornication commits adultery. GOD says in Deuteronomy 5:18 "You shall NOT COMMIT ADULTERY. Jesus teaches as his father the same in Luke16,18 Mark 10:11-12, Matthew 19:9 DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.'ADULTERERS WILL NOT INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD. Corinthians 1:6,9.
---Wal_Rev on 4/4/10


Lyd -- God's Word can be "poured into you" MANY places. Why ask advice? It sounds as if you really WANT to stay. Make a choice, girl, go God's way (He'll help you if you do) or stay where you are, hoping to build something with this ungodly man (you'll bring about many sorrows for many people including yourself.) WE can't make the choice FOR you! It's your life!
---Donna66 on 4/3/10


Years ago when I was single, I had a so-called Christian man tell me this same kind of thing. He said that God was telling him that I was to be his wife, but he didn't know what God was going to do with his wife. Fortunately, I was a stronger Christian and not naive enough to believe his adulterous idea. It wasn't too long after this that his wife divorced him because God had told him that some other woman was supposed to be his wife. Just the kind of man I wanted!!!! LOL
---KarenD on 4/2/10


"if for God's Word poured into me in this place, I'd not have survived thru this. I dont have any other help"..LYD

This is an excuse, not repentance.

You can get help ANYWHERE if you TRULY wanted out of this situation.

YOU'RE NOT A HELPLESS VICTIM. YOU COULD LEAVE.

I have feeling you don't want to and act like you are a victim , but you seem to be a particapant and unrepentive of your actions or you would not be playing this game.

We all know you could drive to another church or get counseling if you really wanted that, but I believe you don't.

He is a disgusting person, but you seem to be an active co-conspirator in denial. Nice excuses, but you know where the door is and have car keys.
---John on 4/1/10


"I'm still in the church, but we dont keep in touch. Though I want to move out, the only thing that keeps me there is my love for God's Word. Yes, I have blown it big time and messed up alright, but if not for God's Word poured into me in this place, I'd not have survived thru this. I dont have any other help."
---Lyd on 3/31/10

This is such a confused statement that I just had to respond. Are you telling us that you do not attend this man's church? If you are attending the church which he pastors then you cannot possibly avoid him. You also cannot be fed by this man spiritually while thinking of him in a carnal manner.
---KarenD on 4/1/10


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Oh Lyd, oh Lyd, oh Lyd...as you like. It didn't feel 'funny' while I was worried about you.
For the benefit of others: So now you're both holding your hands up in admission of your adulteries? You, dear girl, already had done, but after 3 long years of infidelity to his church, wife and kids, it took some strong words from you (being decades his junior) - with him yelling back in protest - for him to admit that it's all his fault. And this is the man who "pours God's word" into your lap? I'm incredulous! And now you're both going to behave as innocents in the House of God's Name that you profane? I hope that God forgives you for your part, and your charades, but for this pastor, His judgement cometh and that right soon.
---John_II on 4/1/10


Lyd....You need to report this pastor's actions to the board of the church or to his overseer (if he even has one). You are probably not the only one he has had an adulterous affair with.
---KarenD on 4/1/10


Lyd -- The Word of God is the same whether you are in this church or another. You sound as if you fear that somehow leaving this church will weaken your relationship with God.

The fact is, it may strenghen it... because your spiritual standing has nothing to do with any other human being. or any church. God must be your "father-figure". HE says He is: (Psa 68:5) Father of the fatherless and protector of widows...
Ask your Heavenly Father to show you a church where you will not be "used", but will be built up in the Lord.
---Donna66 on 4/1/10


Lyd ... Whiler you temain there, you will be tied to him emotiotioanlly, and he will bne able to control you.

You HAVE to find another church.

You say you are there because of your love of God's word. Through HIM !!! For goodness sake, can't yuo see the ***** he is?
---alan8566_of_uk on 4/1/10


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Lyd, I hope you are NOT involved with a cult (i.e. Church Of Christ) which teaches they are 'THE" True Church and if you disobey the Pastor or Leave their church you will go to Hell and face the wrath of G-d.

This would be very sad if you believe this Heresy It is the way to force people to stay in the cult by making them very fearful to leave since they face the wrath fo G-d.

A very evil and FALSE doctrine.

If this is true RUN! RUN NOW! RUN FAR! and RUN FAST!!!
---John on 4/1/10


John II - I have just been busy and not had the time to check the blog. Was funny reading your presumptions of why I've been silent though! :)

For all of you who want to know my age - I'm 24 now. Was 21 when I first got involved with him.

You're all right. Your blogs have impacted me for the better. After an exchange of strong words and him yelling at me, he said that this relationship is all wrong and that it's his fault. I'm still in the church, but we dont keep in touch. Though I want to move out, the only thing that keeps me there is my love for God's Word. Yes, I have blown it big time and messed up alright, but if not for God's Word poured into me in this place, I'd not have survived thru this. I dont have any other help.
---Lyd on 3/31/10


Lyd: The Pastor tempted you and you fell for it. Read 1 Cor.10: 13, you will find that no one alive is above being tempted and with every temptation God has provided a way of escape. Please go on your knees and call on the Lord Jesus Christ to help you find your way of escape to this one and to take it immediately. Be aware that even after this experience, temptations will still come, it is only your close and personal relationship with Christ that will always help you.
---Adetunji on 3/31/10


Good insight JohnII
I agree.
---John on 3/30/10


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Lyd might seem 18- because she fell for a father-figure, so many deprived of one. People need time to adjust but Lyd has been quiet for some time. My fear is that Lyd has confessed her outreach to this pastor. Lyd will definitely have been affected by our comments, and if they've been in contact he will have picked up on that. If this is the case then it only leaves for him to prise it our of her, and he will be too persuasive for her to resist, her being desperate is all he needs as leverage, using God notwithstanding. I don't believe he's the type to say, "Oh they're right, they're right - we must confess"! More likely he's convinced her to stay away from the blog. Suppositional we know, but it has a very high probability grading.
---John_II on 3/30/10


Lyd....There are many pastors and leaders in churches who are serving prison terms for what this pastor has done. If you are under 18 go to the police.
---KarenD on 3/29/10

KarenD, I asked her age and she didn't reply, but from reading her posts it seems to me she is under age.

My guess is, she is in her young teens.

I hope she follows your advice and soon.
---John on 3/29/10


Lyd all people make mistakes ...when mistake is to USE people then you must take steps to overcome

THREE long years you have lived in shame on sidelines hoping this man will leave his wife for you under guise of being "religious saved"?

What have you been SAVED FROM?

you have been LIED to and duped with a very selfish pathetic man using RELIGION as his way to CONTROL you

If you fell for him I can guarantee you that YOU are not the only women who has fallen for this scheme

men look to control women who have little or no self-esteem

SEEK counseling and remove yourself from him ...if he continues to seek you out get a restraining order he cannot let go because you are now his obsession
---Rhonda on 3/29/10


Lyd....There are many pastors and leaders in churches who are serving prison terms for what this pastor has done. If you are under 18 go to the police.
---KarenD on 3/29/10


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Lyd: The advice you are getting is unanimous! That's something that rarely happens on this site.

It sounds like you have been taken advantage of, though you may not believe it now.
The ONLY way out is to LEAVE. It's not that people here don't believe how much you are hurting. It's just that sometimes doing the right thing HURTS. But you will eventually be glad you did! I guarantee that staying in this relationship is going to hurt a whole lot more!
But it's your decision to make. Nobody can make it for you.
---Donna66 on 3/28/10


Can I be a little blunt...without upsetting you. That is not what I want to do. He is a pastor and A Married Man. God put him and his wife together...yes it was on the rocks...but he is still off limits...if he was to move out his home, but remain in marriage...he is still off limits. Until that marriage ends...he is off limits. He is a pastor right, a leader...he knows this...I think you do to. If this PASTOR can do it two his wife. Can he not do it also to you. Respect what God has put together. In the long run he is the only Judge:)
---felissa on 3/28/10


Cluny,

I have no idea if your statements are false either. I said IF what you said is true.

I make my statement based solely your responces to questions and other posters.

Your own posts indicates to me a different viewpoint than what you stated, however I took your word for it even though its contrary to your posts.

---John on 3/28/10


\\Cluny did you read my final statement on that post?
---John on 3/26/10\\

Yes.

Did you read MY question about why you made false accusations about me to start with, and are you going to answer my question?

After all, I answered yours. Fair is fair.
---Cluny on 3/27/10


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Hebrews 13:4, marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure. The pastor has no dispensation from God to have a concubine just because he's a leader (as thought it were a perk, a reward for being responsible for so many), in truth, he should be above reproach! - 1 Timothy 3:2. So many young ladies today being deprived of a father, and the one place where she should find one is in a church elder, well pastors like this one make an utter joke out of Hebrews 13:7. Do befouling pastors like him show you the Verses that go against what you're doing? No, they say, "Trust me", "don't listen to them" and "it's our business". The testimony of any false teacher worth his blackness.
---John_II on 3/27/10


Lyd, how old are you?
---John on 3/26/10


...."I dont believe you know what I've gone thru, and I dont believe what you're saying either, cos my Bible tells me that when I truly repent my God forgives and that guilt is not of God, for if not He wouldn't have died to take away my guilt....."

And I don't believe that you know what his wife and children will go through when they find out. Do you care, or is everything about you?

Do you really think that one day, when you happen to say, "I repent," this will make your destruction okay? Repenting without sincerity has no meaning.

It's time to stop making excuses for your adultery. It is time to stop being so self-centered!
---chris on 3/26/10


Yes.Leave! A true man of God will not be cheating on his wife even if there is trouble. If he did that to her he can do it to you.This Pastor gives pastors a bad reputation,but thankfully not every pastor is like this!
---candice on 3/26/10


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Cluny did you read my final statement on that post?
---John on 3/26/10


\\I AM A PASTOR! And that is my advice.
---John on 3/25/10\\

And just what kind of pastor would say untrue things about other people, as you have done about me elsewhere?

And WHY did you do it?
---Cluny on 3/26/10


As in Paul Simons song. "Just hope on the bus russ! No need to discuss much!"

I also believe you are NOT the only one he is (or was) doing this with. You (hate to bust your bubble) are NOT exclusive to this(well Alan said it well) bum.

If I were you, I would expose him to his Wife and Church and then leave.

Why because you have an evil man leading a flock and if you don't expose him(WHICH THE BIBLE COMMANDS YOU TO DO) he will continue to harm innocent girls, and spread evil amongst the followers.

I AM A PASTOR! And that is my advice.
---John on 3/25/10


-Lyd--- I see your dilemma. But if you stay in the church, your family will find out about this anyway.
Would you rather they hear about it from YOU, or from some gossip in the church?

As to the effect on your family, leave that to the Lord. Again, I think they will do better if you level with them now. Don't be negative about the church, or the pastor. Just tell them the truth.

By his admission, the pastor's marriage is in trouble. He'll have a much better chance of helping his marriage with you out of the picture. If his marriage falls apart anyway, I'm sure you don't want to feel that you contributed to it.

Find another church and your family just may follow. (If not, anyway you are doing the RIGHT thing)
---Donna66 on 3/25/10


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Lyd ... You say you want out
So why don't you get out?
The man is a "****" and you should tell him so.
He is betraying his wife, and you are helping him to do so.
Just WALK, girl.
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/25/10


Lyd: After the escape is dismissed in 1 Corinthians 10:13, then the sin that so easily entangles [Hebrews 12:1] besets us. When our iniquity overtakes us [Proverbs 10:24] then we are desperate for an escape. Do you think that we deserve one after trampling the Son of God underfoot [Hebrews 10:26-31] repeatedly. How are you, having seen the light, walking in agreement (repenting) with God when you are closer to crucify His Son all over again [Hebrews 6:4-6]? Well you're spared, Lyd, because you are not saved, which at this juncture is good news. You are of a carnal church and your 'mentor' is a charlatan, who is greedy for you. Do you really want to be a new creation amidst this devastation? New church!
---John_II on 3/25/10


Lyd...You are using every excuse in the book to stay involved with this man. This means that you have not repented, but want to continue having him in your life no matter what. Why did you bother asking this question if you really don't want to know if there is a way out? The way out is to leave. If that means to leave the town where you live, then do it!
---KarenD on 3/25/10


//Now you can't run..you're ensnared! Fleeing temptation is only possible in the first instance, God showed you the way out but you chose to remain...your guilt will still find you, and you'll sear your own conscience to cope.//
John II - I dont believe you know what I've gone thru, and I dont believe what you're saying either, cos my Bible tells me that when I truly repent my God forgives and that guilt is not of God, for if not He wouldn't have died to take away my guilt. Yes I know there are consequences to sin and pain I go thru is because I made the wrong choice, but I dont believe God will let me hurt forever if I let go of the past and trust Jesus with my future. Which is why I desperately want out.
---Lyd on 3/25/10


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Donna66 - Thanks for sharing that. I really do need a lot of hope cos even now as I write I'm going through the battle of truly letting go.

The only way for me to quit the church is move to some other country or place, cos my family goes to this same church and I have stood strong for this church because no matter what, here is where the Lord touched me as an atheist and I gave my life to Him.
Apart from this issue, the church has really helped me grow and the foundation I have is only because of how God used this church to help lay it and my whole family knows this. If I choose to quit the church now I will need to give them all a valid reason, and considering my family is just growing in the Lord, I cant let them know this. :'(
---Lyd on 3/25/10


Now you can't run away, Lyd, you're ensnared! Fleeing temptation is only possible in the first instance, God showed you the way out but you chose to remain. Even if you went far from this lothario, your guilt will still find you, and you'll sear your own conscience to cope. You convinced yourself that the relationship could still be professional or platonic, but that never ever works! Now you might run, and the world might say, "Let sleeping dogs lie!", but the gouging out of your eye is to reveal all and face the music of his family and the church. All things are revealed in the end so there's no point in waiting, clear your conscience now! Otherwise this sin will detain you, and he'll be content to let it do so.
---John_II on 3/24/10


No matter how it hurts (and I'm sure it does) you must get out of that church! If it hurts to explain to him, don't. He knows what is wrong, believe me. Just GO! The sooner the better.

If you stay, you absolutely will end up hurting more than you do now...and causing much hurt to others as well.
I once made a hard decision similar to this. When I finally quit "dithering" and separated myself from the situation, God poured out on me the sweetest blessings! God wants you to be happy with a mate. But believe me, this pastor isn't for you!
---Donna66 on 3/24/10


\\It's just that sometimes the pain is too hard to bear cos I feel too attached to him at the end of 3 yrs. God knows I'm trying.\\

Lyd, this is an example of the "cutting off your hand or foot, or putting out your eye" that Jesus talked about.

For the sake of your eternal salvation, his--and his wife's and family's--you need to cut off the point of your heart.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

You simply need to quit having anything to do with him.

There's a great book on this subject: "WHEN TEMPTED BY LOVE."
---Cluny on 3/24/10


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Lyd...You are being used by this pastor. You must take back control of your life. YOU MUST leave that church and never look back. YOU MUST make the decision that you are going to live for JESUS. This pastor is abusing you!!!! If you were to tell anyone about this affair, he would probably deny it. Please get away from him now.
---KarenD on 3/24/10


John: You are absolutely right about my age and that he's my mentor.

Whenever we try to break off, he talks about him continuing to be my mentor anyway. Being from a broken home, and not having lived in ideal family conditions, I cant help but look upto him as a father figure considering he knows everything about me - my weaknesses, my struggles.

But then somehow so far, when we've tried to restrict it to just a mentor relationship, over time it just slips back to what it was.
I've been hurt too deep, time and again, and I feel so stuck.
---Lyd on 3/24/10


I have a gut feeling that you are a very young lady and this Pastor was your mentor.

If this is true then he violated the ethics of being a pastor. It is the same rules that apply to Psychiatrists, teachers, Coaches, doctors, Counselors. Or anyone in the position of hearing someone's deepest convictions and problems and being their mentor.

It is easy for a young woman to become attached/attracted to someone in this position. Perhaps a Father image.

Am I correct in this?
---John on 3/23/10


Thank you. I am doing my best to embrace the Lord and to hold on to Him with all that I have.

John II: I know I have to quit the relationship, and so, NO I'm not waiting for any of you to grant me permission! I'm stuck in a rut that keeps haunting me, and I'm now doing all that I can to really let go. Thanks to some of the responses here I feel there is hope and that somehow I can let go.. and it was in that hope that I even posted my question.

It's just that sometimes the pain is too hard to bear cos I feel too attached to him at the end of 3 yrs. God knows I'm trying.

When I read some of the straight forward responses it does help me see the ugliness of my state and want out. So I'm grateful any how.
---Lyd on 3/23/10


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Lyd: You've just used the term that more and more are labelling their relationships with - complicated. The world's full of these vulgar tags that are simply a recognition of sin coexistence, the more ungodly we become the more labels Satan hands out. They're such all-encompassing designations that we readily snatch them, they bring quick relief but never peace in the long term. You are desperate and only seeking hope for the hopeless, that someone might tell you what you want to hear. You know the way out but that's not what you want, you want what you want at any cost. Now I didn't use an absolute, but your works are betraying your salvation assertion, I not as confident as you are. This is destructive of both family and church.
---John_II on 3/23/10


The way out is to behold the Lamb of God. It changes your heart and then your mind and then your actions. He is the way of escape.
---Linda on 3/22/10


Wait until your Church finds out along with his Wife and His kids.

You will see just how much G-d Blessed your adultery.

What occurs in darkness will be broadcasted on the rooftops.
---John on 3/22/10


The truth is we both know we are wrong...
That's the first place to start.

...being a baby Christian... ...I eventually built my world around him...
Your life needs to be built around Him, that is Christ. He is the only one who will can "fill your gaps". The rest of us are just human.

losing peace, we realised this cant be of God... ...but continuing church work so that no one else's walk gets affected.
---Lyd on 3/22/10
If you don't run away from your sin, other's walk WILL get affected. This is no time for finger pointing as none of us are able to "cast the first stone" and I know I have a number of issues also. Flee temptation, seek God's guidance. (contd.)
---simon7348 on 3/23/10


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Is there a way out?
---Lyd on 3/19/10

YES! Use the door on the left. The one that saids "Emergency Exit".
---John on 3/22/10


Thank you all for your responses. This whole scenario is a lot more complicated. The truth is we both know we are wrong, and have made sooo many attempts to get out of this. As for me, at first I was apprehensive and refused to get into this relationship, but the more he kept tellin me it's of God, being a baby Christian I gave in and also felt good that someone wants me so much. Having stripped off everything of the past to begin a new life in Christ, I eventually built my world around him and worked a lot for church along with him. Somewhere down the line when we kept fighting and losing peace, we realised this cant be of God and tried staying out of the relationship but continuing church work so that no one else's walk gets affected.
---Lyd on 3/22/10


\\ It's very doubtful that you heard Jesus calling you through this pastor!\\

Obviously, you're not aware of how even a cracked vessel can be chosen by God, but that's the trouble with most Evangelicals. They totally ignore history.

And as FatherBrendan said elsewhere, trying to decide for oneself who is saved and who is not is a game invented by Satan himself.

I know one thing. I don't hear Jesus speaking in this or your other posts, John II.
---Cluny on 3/22/10


\\Hi Cluny, are you the pastor?
---steven-rem7000 on 3/21/10\\

Nope.

But I notice that you did not answer my direct question of how you bear the impossible burden of knowing who is saved on here and who is not.

The fact that you seemed to think I was the pastor in question makes me wonder about the validity of the gift I attributed to you, however.

If you don't know who's a pastor or now, how do you know who is saved?
---Cluny on 3/21/10


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Lyd: Evidently you are in the flock of a false teacher - you are his proven fruit! It's very doubtful that you heard Jesus calling you through this pastor! You are both under curse and you will never find peace whilst carrying this burden around with you, even as thrilling and heated as it may be in those precious few moments that you get to spend together. If you continue this lie then you will get accustomed to this way of life, and when he's dumped you, you will find yourself attracted to similar types of men. You know the way out, it's to give up the sin that's entangling you, and seek the Lord for real. But that doesn't bring the quick gratifications that sin does, so you'd best be prepared for a battle.
---John_II on 3/21/10


Hi Cluny, are you the pastor?
---steven-rem7000 on 3/21/10


\\Many "religious" people see ministry as a way of controlling people through their fears,lusts,
lack of understanding and misinterpretation of scripture. \\

How many people do you personally know who meet this description, larry?

Not who you THINK you know, but who you know for sure that this is what they are doing.
---Cluny on 3/21/10


U guys would be suprised how many ministers of God dont truly Love God or work for Jesus Christ.
Many "religious" people see ministry as a way of controlling people through their fears,lusts,
lack of understanding and misinterpretation of scripture.
A christian who doesnt know/study WILL BE DECIEVED! unfortunately, it wont be an excuse for the believer, to say i dont know.
"many shall say LORd, Lord!"
"Wide is the gate... that leads to destruction"
---larry on 3/21/10


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\\I would say you didn't get save and your pastor (which is a agent of Satan) lied to you and is STILL LIEING TO YOU\\

What a hideous gift you have, steverem7000, to be able to tell people you've never even met are saved or not.

How do you bear this burden?
---Cluny on 3/21/10


Marriage is a sacrament. As a pastor I am sure he took vows before God in the sight of a Christian congregation to stay married to the same person all his life.
It is dispicable that a man in his position, a shepherd of Christ's flock, should behave in such an abominable way. May God have mercy on him.
Your only option is to walk away. Find another church. If you continue in this relationship with this pastor, and it becomes common knowledge among his followers, you will inevitably be branded a Jezebel. Walk away or you will be as much to blame.
---Terry on 3/21/10


I would say you didn't get save and your pastor (which is a agent of Satan) lied to you and is STILL LIEING TO YOU. What is wrong with this picture even an unbeliever no it is not right to want another man or woman who is married. RUN as far as you can and find a place (there is not but a few) where they preach the gospel.

Gal 1:8 But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.
Just by what you have posted ain't none of you have the gospel knowledge that is always conveyed to the mind =(heart, will and affections)

I dont even believe what you have posted, even a ..wouldnt fall for that stuff.
---steven-rem7000 on 3/20/10


Face up to this untrustworthy man, and without argument or debate, quit him. Why become a victim of his sin? His wife is a victim now...are her circumstances the future scenario you want for yourself? God CERTAINLY would not approve of your part in continuing this relationship. The fact you know of the sin makes you responsible.

Long experience and heartache has taught me such men PRACTICE this habit of being deceitful. Ask yourself...does this man's being have a hold on your heart, or are you only bolstered in this relationship by his having convinced you of his NEEDS?
---Elaine on 3/20/10


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The FIRST thing you should do is to confront this "pastor" with his SIN and tell him that you are going to bring him before the church for discipline, then pack your bags and get away from there as fast as you can. This man needs to be removed from his position immediately. You should also confess your sin in this whole deal and repent of the wrong you are guilty of, then seek the Lord with all your being.
---tommy3007 on 3/20/10


Do you think that being a Christian means living by the scriptures that suit you, and disregarding those that do not?

Do you have any self respect? I suspect not, but you do have the power to regain it.
---chris on 3/19/10


"whosever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding, he who does so destroys his own soul"
Do not take part in Satan's evil games.
for u to even post this blog reveals that u havent been studying the bible for yourself.
A True Man of God doesnt seduce his congregation.... GOD wont ever lead u into temptation, nor the flesh...
Maybe u should sit out of church for awhile, stay home, study, learn what it really means to be saved,sanctified and redeemed....before u lose everything.
It seems as if u are emotionally driven, perfect candidate 2 be decieved.
"to be carnally minded is death, but 2 b spiritually minded is life and peace"
---larry on 3/19/10


Lyd, I'm not denying the possibility that the pastor fell for you. Of course, I'm sure there are two sides to the story about why his current marriage is a mess.

But think about this: I'm sure that if he married you, he'd be as true to you as to his first wife.
---Cluny on 3/19/10


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Eventually I fell for him
I think you fell for his line...the same old "my wife doesn't understand me..."

The way out is to change churches and fast. You can be sure he's NOT listening to the Lord, because God doesn't tell a married man who his NEXT wife will be! If you stay around, you and he both, are headed for disaster and heartache (as is his whole family).

Look at "marriage" in the concordance of your New Testament. Read what the scriptures given there have to say. Find a church where what scripture says and what the pastor says agree.
---Donna66 on 3/19/10


It is best not to air dirty laundry on ChristiaNet unless you are a masochist.

The answers you are going to get to your question are not going to give you warm fuzzes.
---Friendly_Blogger on 3/19/10


Lyd, this Pastor lied to you. God would NEVER show him another woman that is supposed to be his wife while he is married to someone else -that's the devil. That's his flesh.

RUN from this man as far as you can. Where is the fear of the Lord in his heart? in your heart? God is seeing this and is not pleased with either of you - the wages of sin Lyd is death. Both of you need to repent to God and you need to LEAVE him and RUN from him unless you want your life to be destroyed if you go further with him in any type of relationship. He is married and committing adultery with you. Jesus said if you look at a woman and lust for her, you are an adulterer.
---Donna on 3/19/10


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