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How To Love The Unlovable

How do you love an unlovable type of person?

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 ---Alan on 3/19/10
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There a just some straight up unlovable evil....people in this world. Having said all that, you love by Christ standards not our own. You probably don't love a evil person emotionally,but you have to love them intentionally with Gods Word. You can start loving by forgiving and understanding we all need that. We need forgivness from oneanother but most of all forgiveness from God. If you don't forgive then your heavenly father will not forgive you. Now me personally I have not found not one badmamajama thats worth me not being forgiving by God. Also if you have ought against your brother of sister go to them and settle it (peaceably).
---Tiffany on 5/20/10

that's hard...but possible.

Remember that such a person becomes unlovable in your view because s/he doesn't meet your expectation/s or your standards.

You may also be unlovable in the sight of others without yourself knowing it simply because it's YOU--you don't see yourself to be unlovable since you have your own standard of LOVABLENESS.

You have to take away your pride first-that's keeping you from hating him or, should i say, characterizing him unlovable.

And doing him good things in return will teach yourself--your heart to love him or to remove your hatred towards him.
---sam on 5/19/10

How do I love unlovable person?...just see Jesus in him.
---Myrna on 5/19/10

I love the unloveable by:

1. thinking of them as when they were yet a baby, and recognizing that their "unlovability" is the result of a number of great pains and diappointments in their life

2. recognizing that the crusty outside is protecting a soft inside

3. praying for opportunity to be of service to them

No.3 works wonderfully with those who are particularly hateful- from
scripture: "if one should take thy coat, give him thy cloak, also"
---Elaine on 5/17/10

You do good to them despite their hatred of you and in doing so you change the way they feel about you.

I think God perfectly illustrated that in what He did for us in Jesus.

I know it changed me.
---JackB on 5/16/10

It is not about us. The hypocrites speaks as if butter has melted in their mouths. An honest person will wait for God, then it's true.....There is nothing worse than someone who cares for foreigners, but has no interest in helping a family member. You hypocrites. God has a special place for you in hell.
---catherine on 5/16/10

I think the only way we deem a man "unlovable" is if we somehow believe we are better than him.

Thats the core of the problem right there. Pride
---JackB on 5/16/10

By being obedient to God. He said it and that should settle it. He loved us and we should love others. It is not easy to do,sometimes,but with practice and God's help we can do it. God will bless us for the effort and obedience. Learning to love is a life long effort. It does not happen over night. But God expects us to try and try again.You can begin reading I Corinthians ch 13. God bless
---Robyn on 5/16/10

To love the unlovable you have but to remember Almighty God loves you. How while I not know you personally I assume you're human and that makes you unlovable!
---mima on 4/1/10

You cannot, unless God puts that in you.
---catherine on 4/1/10

Mat 5:38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
Mat 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Mat 5:40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.
Mat 5:41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
Mat 5:42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

He said this, but who can do it?
Is there anything we can do?
I think not! God Bless!
---TheSeg on 3/31/10

you will waste time loving those who can't love themselves. they will abuse you & will take advantage of your kindness & consideration. just move on & use your time in more productive ways.

your answer & action is either wise of stupid.

i work with somebody who deliberately works 2 hours a day, the rest is wasted on chatting, txting, facebooking.
---mike on 3/29/10

Be like Jesus. There is nothing lovable about you and he granted you a total pardon.
---larry on 3/29/10

The "least of these" doesn't have to be someone overcome by sin.
Other "unlovables" include:

The deformed, the developmentally disabled, those with poor hygiene or poor physical co-ordination, speech defects, blindness, unsightly skin conditions...repel some people.
I'm amazed at the people who express
"disgust" over the morbidly "obese".

Ever wonder why a lot of these people never attend church?
---Donna66 on 3/29/10

First let me say that I have made a practice of reading the bible, however, I have a hard time in remembering the scriptures. Love conquers all. You should not treat people the way they treat you. You should treat them the way in which you would want to be treated. When speaking of certain people such as friends or associates, you do not have to be around them on a daily bases. However, when they do come around, just kill them with kindness.
---felissa on 3/28/10

Can a person love something unlovable? It it unlovable, by the word itself it means you cannot.
Maybe the question should be, can you love someone who is wicked, terrible, mean, etc.
I love everyone with the love of Christ. But hate what many do, what they think, what they represent, and who they follow.
---MarkV. on 3/28/10

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I think about this verse:
Mat 25:40 And the King [that's Jesus] shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
---Donna66 on 3/26/10


Sister, I must quarrel with you. Not about speaking in tongues because I do also. But the fact that you must get "charged" up to be able to love the unlovely.

You talked about being "led" by the Spirit, but to be led, you must be submissive to the leader. The Spirit must be leading and you must be following. Love is the fruit of the Spirit and when we are submissive to the Spirit, His fruits will be shown.

To love the unlovely, we do not need "more" Spirit. We don't need to be charged up either. God has already given to us the same power that raised Jesus from the grave. Rather, what we need is less of ourselves. Less of our fleshly desires including pride.
---Mark_Eaton on 3/26/10

\\Cluny, I think you missed the mark here. Love "is" an emotion that prompts one to act. Hate is also an emotion,albeit negative, that also promts one to act!
When you do something for someone you don't like, you bite your tongue and heap coals of fire on them!Rom.12.20
---1st_cliff on 3/20/10//

But is this love? Aren't you heaping hot coals on their head? Doesn't that hurt? You first CHOOSE to love, and show love to them, even by a smile and a kind word. If you choose to love someone, then it's up to God to bring your emotions into line with your choice.
---FatherBrendan on 3/26/10

This brings to my mind, my biggest enemy!
Then I read!
Mat 5:43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you,

But how! How can you love, someone who wishes you dead?
Someone who will do anything in his power to do, against you?

Now what come to mind is.
Mat 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

God Bless
---TheSeg on 3/25/10

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Your last post is right on target!

How many times do we read "love your enemies"? How do we do that? It is basically the same as this blog question.

We show them "love" by doing nice things for them, by showing them kindness, by "loving" them, even if it requires crucifying ourselves to do it. And that is the point of it all. Getting rid of us so that Jesus can shine though.
---Mark_Eaton on 3/25/10

First thing to keep in mind about a person who is lovable or unlovable is the fact that they are made in God's image. That fact and that fact alone requires that we treat them with respect, and love, and compassion. In all our dealings with our fellow man we must approach him as having been made in gods image!!!
---mima on 3/22/10

You do it by the power of the Holy Spirit and in the power of Holy Spirit.

You pray in tongues for hours for that person and then you're spirit is built up so that when you come in contact with that person, they don't get under your skin.

Pray for them, cry out for mercy for them and ask God to soften their heart.

You can love the unloveable if you are filled with the Love of God which surpasses all human understanding. He loves them through you when you walk by the Spirit of God.
---Donna5535 on 3/22/10

Good question, Alan (c: I need to get into this, myself. I can be so into the head stuff of explaining, and not really have love. Only God can change me to become how He knows is loving. "And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls, though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved." (2 Corinthians 12:15) Only God's love can make me more and more abundantly and beautifully loving in His Spirit no matter how others love me less and less.

It helps me to see I am a human, too. So, I could be like that person. "It could be me." "He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/20/10

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Doing good things for someone you don't like is the standard means of overcoming antipathy, according to spiritual writers.

Saying that a person is unlovable is generally an evaluation by those projecting their own dislike (or hatred) onto that person.
---Cluny on 3/20/10

Cluny, I think you missed the mark here. Love "is" an emotion that prompts one to act. Hate is also an emotion,albeit negative, that also promts one to act!
When you do something for someone you don't like, you bite your tongue and heap coals of fire on them!Rom.12.20
---1st_cliff on 3/20/10

To Whosoever Has An Ear To Hear?

Brethren, An 'Unlovable Person' is either someone whose tormented fear won't/can't let them accept love & /or someone you feel you can't/won't give love to... : The LATTER is of the utmost concern before being able to proceed onto the FORMER b/c If a man say, I love God, and hateth/can't love his brother, he is a liar .. for he that loves not his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?

When the latter is no longer the concern, perfect the FORMER by staying in remembrance of 1 John 4:18-19, knowing that "We Love God, b/c He First Loved us", and proceed amongst the unloveable with God's Perfect Love which casteth out the torment of fear !!
---Shawn.M.T. on 3/20/10

Since love is not an emotion, but an act of will, you love someone by doing loving things for that person--even someone you don't like.
---Cluny on 3/20/10

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remember hate the sin not the sinner. What people say,and what they do,will never be pleasing,or right to every down to grass tacks,God loves everyone so in reality no one is unlovable.
---tom2 on 3/20/10

"How do you love an unlovable type of person?" Choice.
No one is unlovable. Unlikable, yes, unlovable, no.

If you love only those you consider lovable, or those that 'appear' to love you, what have you done special? Even those who have no true knowledge of the Father does likewise. However, those who are willing to submit themselves to the love of the Father, and to be brought to maturity in that love, will love even those who may 'appear' oppositional. Be perfect -mature- in your human expression of integrity, virtue and love, just as your Heavenly Father, in His Divinity, is perfect in His.
Keep this mind, "God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
---Josef on 3/20/10

Be realistic and think for a moment about what LOVE is. TRUE love cannot be FORCED, it can only be given freely.

If a robber tortured your whole family and then pointed the gun at your head and said "Love me", do you truly believe that you could LOVE him?.......No, you couldn't really LOVE the gunmen. You could give them gifts, you could say things to flatter them, but you wouldn't really LOVE them.

It is a fallacy/myth that the unlovable can be loved. Do not think otherwise or you will be a hypocrite by believing something that you know is impossible.

GOD is LOVE. Christians need to understand LOVE properly.
---more_excellent_way on 3/20/10

Viewing someone as unlovable is a wholly personal perception and value judgment. Jesus did not seem to view anyone as unlovable. He even said we must love our enemies.
---ger.toshav on 3/19/10

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