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The Affair Made A Baby

Recently I posted a question about my husband being unfaithful and if we were unequally yoked. We are trying to work things out by putting God first and moving foward. We just found out that the woman he cheated with had his baby. What do I do?

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 ---Jenny on 4/21/10
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Jenny: If you desire to keep your husband (which, from outside - don't ask how I would feel if I were you, for I am weak in faith - seems more forgiving) then you will have a long, difficult task

One question is whether the woman wants to keep the baby, whether she wants money from your husband (which is reasonable, I think), or whether she wants him to keep the baby

If she will just keep the baby, that is the easiest for you. If she also wants money, then the money must be from your husband's income (he should not burden you)

If she wants him to keep the baby, then that is the most difficult for you. You may be able to deal with that, but probably you will have to place a firm ban on him seeing the woman ever again
---peter3594 on 5/28/10


Jenny, Jesus was not Joseph's biological child but he loved him like he was. I realize that situation is different but I am confident that God's love covers all. I am also confident that if you let God, He will love them through you. Won't it be awesome to be used of God & to hear, "Well done, My good and faithful servant"? Thank You Jesus for filling Jenny with Your love. Amen!!!
---fay on 5/28/10


Thank you for your comments! Myrna:I'm doing my best to be as loving and forgiving as possible as if nothing happend because I do want God's blessing in my life.I try to live for Him no matter what.You made me realize that it is possible.
Tiffany:He has been doing all he can to be the best husband he can be and is going to church with me every Sunday.
Fay:You had me crying Fay,thank you so much for that prayer.It's gonna take me a long time to get to that perfect love.Maybe because now I admit that I feel jealous that she has his baby and I don't.We have children from different marriages that we love as our own but not blood.I'm so broken.
---Jenny on 5/27/10


I know it's not easy Jenny but Jesus forgave the very ones who nailed him to the cross. If you forgave your husband, then accept the child as if it were your own & love the mother. Remember they did not fully comprehend what they were doing when they messed up & the child is not at fault.

God, I ask You to fill Jenny with so much Love she can't help but spill it out on the world. What love You have already bestowed on her is enormous & I ask You to keep bestowing. As a matter of fact God, I ask that Jenny & this other woman become friends. As a result many will see Your Glory. The Glory Jesus gave all who believe, according to John 17:20-23. Amen
---fay on 5/21/10


The decision is up to you, you have to forgive for your own sake. But whether or not you stay with him is all up to you and him. Is he repentant of his acts? Is he willing to set up healthy boundaries with this other woman? Has he now become considerate of you in these matters?
---Tiffany on 5/20/10




The damage has been done. Acceptance and forgiveness can only saved the situation.

I witnessed my brother's marriage life when he fathered a baby outside his marriage.My sistern-in- law gone through hell because of this. She left my brother and it took 11 years for her to realize and learn to forgive my brother. They've been together now and they blessed another baby girl.
I don't want you to go through all what my brother and his wife gone through. If you can sit down and resolve the situation now, do it! I know that God's be with you and your husband. Nothing is impossible to God.
---myrna on 5/19/10


DNA test the baby and your husband to be certain it is his child. Then, work toward accepting that your husband will have a legal and moral obligation for that child, should the DNA prove the child is his.

Get professional help in accepting what has happened, and in accepting the baby, should it be his. You will be the child's step-mother, if the tests prove it is his child.

Pray for the baby, and the mother, as God must be part of their life now. The child deserves love and acceptance, because the child has done nothing wrong in this situation.
---Trish9863 on 4/22/10


"I don't know if I should be answering these kinds of questions, Jesus! It's ridiculous." ---catherine on 4/22/10

You might have forgotten about Jesus' second greatest commandment and one of the fruits of the Spirit: temperance. You do not have to fire every bullet that is chambered in your heart and mind. Please have compassion on us.

"Life and death is in the power of the [cyber-]tongue."

When you are carrying out your assignment from God to show us judgment, remember there is life in judgment too.
---aka_joseph on 4/22/10


Jenny
Your depression is very understandable. Maybe you should consider a time of separation. This new information totally changes the situation. Your husband will always be connected to this woman because of a child they now share. Some serious soul searching may be needed to decide whether you can handle that for the long haul.
---pg1 on 4/22/10


Your husband sinning is 100% your husbands doing, and zero of your doing. Your husband should first repent from committing any further adultery and ever seeing the other woman and/or women, for continuing to sin will only create more damage. If he refuses to repent, then you may divorce him for breaking wedlock and defiling your marriage bed, for he could be bringing home to you diseases from his fornications.
---Eloy on 4/22/10




I've been trough alot in my life and so have my children.One of my daughters has DiGeorge Syndrome and has had 3 open heart surgeries but she is a blessing and my angel.My first husband left me and 4 kids and never came back after 9 yrs. Now I have to go through this.I thank God because I have drawn closer to Him than ever before but this just seems to hard for me to handle.I've prayed for the baby and cried for her.I won't give up but I'm sooo depressed.
---Jenny on 4/22/10


Jenny, you need to sort this out in the presence of God. Find a quiet place to sit and pray. Tell God how you feel, and how this hurts you. Ask GOD what you should do about it and then spend some time reading His word.

Ask Father to heal you, but it's going to take time - you don't get over this kind of hurt in a week or two.

Also, if I were you, I'd seek counselling. Let a professional guide you as to what you should do. Sounds like you are still in love with this man - and it also sounds like he is trampling on your heart. Is that what you want? How will he hurt you next?
---Donna5535 on 4/22/10


Jenny, I am sure that your "trial" seems to be much more than you can bear. Remember what the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinth. 10:13, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it." Go to God and let HIM be your strength in your time of need.
---tommy3007 on 4/22/10


Cluny-I no longer believe we are unequally yoked I was just trying to refresh anyones memory who responded to my last blog.I'm so hurt and I'm trying to get through the pain all over again.I was just starting to heal after I forgave my husband and I feel I'm going through another test.The news of the baby hurts even more because this woman has something I dont have which is a child from my husband.I have children from a previous marriage and their father left us and he has been MIA ever since.I feel like everything was a lie and feeling sorry for myself. :0(
---Jenny on 4/22/10


I don't know if I should be answering these kinds of questions, Jesus! It's ridiculous.
---catherine on 4/22/10


Have your husband do a DNA test on this baby to see if it is his.
---KarenD on 4/21/10


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Cluny is right but the baby is the only one envolved that is totally innocent. The baby doesn't need to be forgiven only accepted.
Mary it would appear to me that every time you saw your husband it would be the "slap in the face." Why would the baby be the one that reminds you of the torment you went through? Blame the one who desided to forsake the wedding vows and sin against God and you.
---Elder on 4/21/10


\\Cluny, MY ex also had a baby with another woman and trust me, it is not something you can easily overcome! It's a slap in the face everytime you see the child\\

Do you recall something Jesus said about slaps in the face?
---Cluny on 4/21/10


Don't miss a chance to imitate Christ, this world is in ashes already, don't cling to it or the identity it bestows you, he's coming soon be found in him at all cost.

Make a place for them not only in your heart but in your house, grace is the only thing left that's truly beautiful, foster it now and find peace.
---Bozo on 4/21/10


Cluny, MY ex also had a baby with another woman and trust me, it is not something you can easily overcome! It's a slap in the face everytime you see the child--but you're right, she needs to forgive, but with God's grace only, this will hurt for a long time to come.
---Mary on 4/21/10


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Forgive everyone involved, including the baby.

Realize that your husband has a responsibility for this baby--but the mother has an equal responsibility.

Question: You seem to think your husband's sins make you "unequally yoked" to him. Do YOUR sins make you "unequally yoked" to him?
---Cluny on 4/21/10


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