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Can I Date While Married

My husband moved out almost a year ago and I was served with divorce papers a little over 6 months ago. Although it has not yet become final, and he has had a supposedly christan girlfriend, would it be acceptable for me being a christian, to start dating?

Moderator - No, because you are married. Once you are divorced, it then depends on the reason you got divorced as to whether you can Biblical remarry.

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 ---Jenny on 4/28/10
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First of all his girlfriend is not a "christian". but rather mocking the teachings of god - under the disguise of christ. Provided that you were faithful to this man, if he is seeking a divorce from you - keep in mind that any future relationships between your ex husband and another woman consist of adultery. Mark 10:12, Luke 16:18, Matt 19:9.
---Wal_Rev on 5/16/10


Cluny, I'm glad to see you have a sense of humor under all that intellectual knowledge you have of the Bible. PSS...love that you did that.

To tell you the truth Cluny, I was so bored in the Catholic Church, I would sit in church and think about donuts..lol.

I just felt there's got to be something more than coming to a building, saying Mass, and the same prayers every week, and going to confession. So I sought God on my own and told him, "I want to walk with you like Moses walked with you." That's when I came out of the Catholic church - God answered that prayer - it's been alot of trials and errors, but hey, we all gotta get through our valleys and trials with God rather than without God, right?
---Donna5535 on 5/4/10


\\P.S. I don't know what a virtue is, I came out of the Catholic church in 1983 and I remember they used that word, I don't know what a virtue is.

P.S.S. I have never told lies about another person on this website.
---Donna5535 on 5/4/10
\\

PS--You didn't learn about things such as faith, charity, generosity, hospitality, and the like as a Catholic?

These (and others) are virtues.

PSS--I'm not talking about you in particular.
---Cluny on 5/4/10


Cluny, I have always respected your responses although I'm seeing now they are coming from a very intellectual point of view.

Cluny - to say I minimize my sins is foolish-I said I repent for my sins which means I know I'm a sinner and sin.

I have not denied I am a sinner, I said I am a repentent sinner. You are twisting my words and that hurts Cluny - you want to always be right, sharp and schrewd and you do that by putting others down. Why? You seem like such a nice person.

P.S. I don't know what a virtue is, I came out of the Catholic church in 1983 and I remember they used that word, I don't know what a virtue is.

P.S.S. I have never told lies about another person on this website.
---Donna5535 on 5/4/10


Further thoughts on Donna's posts.

My own observation is that most Christians tend to do one of three things with their own sins:

1. Minimize them.

2. Deny that they are in fact sins.

3. Claim they are virtues.

Example: Constant lies told about other people on some of the more heated blogs.
---Cluny on 5/4/10




\\Cluny, my sins are repented for...his are not.\\

As one early Christian writer said, "You say you have seen your brother's sin--but have you seen his repentance?"
---Cluny on 5/3/10


Donna 5535, do YOUR sins mean you're not a Christian?
---Cluny on 4/29/10

Cluny, my sins are repented for...his are not. That's the difference between a person who is committing adultery and NOT repenting for it and me, who does sin, and then repents for my sins.

Cluny, do you repent in sackcloth and ashes when you sin? Maybe you should try it? I think you are smart enough to know the difference between a REPENTENT SINNER and a man committing adultery on his wife who is NOT repenting...amen?
---Donna5535 on 5/3/10


Please tell me how a civil, secular court has the authority to dissolve the spiritual bond which is the basis of marriage.
---Cluny on 5/1/10

When I was lost, I married the mother of my children by a Justice of the Peace. The basis of my marriage was worldly, lustful, and full of selfishness (in hind sight) on both of our parts with no consideration of spiritual bonding. (I got a stranger pregnant.) Therefore, if a marriage was performed in the authority of a civil, secular court, don't they have the authority to dissolve a marriage that they once endorsed?

BTW Now, I think that divorce is sinful (erroneous) in any circumstance. However, remarriage is permissible under certain circumstance. (Mat 19: 10-12)
---aka_joseph on 5/2/10


Please tell me how a civil, secular court has the authority to dissolve the spiritual bond which is the basis of marriage.
---Cluny on 5/1/10


Jenny...Hopefully, you will respond to our posts. As a woman with years of experience in my past life as a heathen, I want to advise you of a few things. If you have children, please do not involve another man in their lives unti they are grown. You are not yet married, so you cannot date. Remember when your husband cheated on you? How did that feel? That's how the Lord feels when we "cheat" on HIM. If the Lord wants you to remarry, he will bring the right man into your life. You don't have to go out hunting (dating) for him.
---KarenD on 4/29/10




aka Joseph,thank you for your kind words. Many times my answers length is dictated by the word limit. What I was trying to do is show there's a circumstance under which a person can remarry without being guilty of adultry after divorce. Where the Bible says "except" which it does in that verse which means the rule doesn't apply when the exception to the rule is listed such as spouse commits fornication,remarriage in that case doesn't consist of adultry as it did in some of the previous verses. I added that because so many churches crucify divorced people who remarry even though their spouse is guilty of forrnication. Its not God's way for anyone to laden down a hurting person with more burdens.
---Darlene_1 on 4/29/10


...don't date and won't ever re-marry. Jesus is the love of my life. -Donna5535
Mat 19:10The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." 11But he said to them, "Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 There are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

Donna is the female version of a kingdom-made eunuch.

Divorce is still because of hard-hearts. Re-marriage to Christ for the kingdom's sake is what Mat 19:1-12 is all about.
---aka_joseph on 4/29/10


\\Jenny, just because your husband has a supposedly christian g/f (which doesn't mean a thing if he is having intimate relations with her - then he is committing adultery - he's still married).\\

Donna 5535, do YOUR sins mean you're not a Christian?
---Cluny on 4/29/10


Jenny, just because your husband has a supposedly christian g/f (which doesn't mean a thing if he is having intimate relations with her - then he is committing adultery - he's still married).

Doesn't mean you have to get a christian boyfriend. Give yourself time to heal. Let Jesus become your husband. For your maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name. Isaiah 54 says that. Fall in love with, and stay in love with Jesus. Let him pour liquid love into your being and develop that love relationship with Jesus first and foremost.
I am divorced since 2001, don't date and won't ever re-marry. Jesus is the love of my life. My ex has had several girlfriends and I could care less...it's his sin, not mine.
---Donna5535 on 4/29/10


Wait ... it is too soon, in any case

I tried to date two years after my wife's death, (she wanted me to) and it was too soon.
---alan8566_of_uk on 4/29/10


Very good post Darlene_1

//Be very careful to line your behavior up with Gods Word.// You can remarry on the basis of Matthew 19:1-13 to someone that has not ever been married or is divorced only because his spouse committed fornication.

I truly believe this is not what Darlene_1 was doing, but, in general, avoid one verse doctrines and "cherry-pie" doctrines that are mixed together through cherry picking out-of-context verses.

If someone gives you one verse or many disjointed verses, always read the text before and after them.
---aka_joseph on 4/29/10


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You should wait until your divorce is final, so that chapter of your life is closed. Take some time for yourself to Heal from this situation, before you move on. That way you want take the old baggage into a new relationship.
---Kimbe7395 on 4/29/10


Jenny wait until your divorce is final and then be very prayerful and careful who you decide to date. The fact your husband has a girlfriend means he is a cheat and broke your marriage vows. If he has commited fornication with her even in his heart, you can remarry on the basis of Matthew 19:9-I say unto you, whoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication and shall marry another commits adultry,. Be very careful to line your behavior up with Gods Word. Pray,pray,pray and study your Bible,immerse yourself in the Lord and let him lead you.
---Darlene_1 on 4/29/10


your question is a horrible indictment on the misplaced desire of our hearts (Genesis 6) which are often consumed with our own appetites, passions and lusts.

You'd be crazy to do anything now other than SEEK HIS FACE.

In other words, Jenny, take your time.
---aka_joseph on 4/28/10


Jenny, your question is a horrible indictment on the misplaced desire of our hearts (Genesis 6) which are often consumed with our own appetites, passions and lusts.

You'd be crazy to do anything now other than SEEK HIS FACE.

God bless sister.
---larry on 4/28/10


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Part one of two: Jenny,
-I will agree with the moderator whole-heartedly, but I will add "...as to whether you can Biblical [sic] remarry" without committing adultery or causing someone else to. We do have a responsibility to each other as well as to God.
-Don't let anyone tell you that divorce is permitted in any case. Please read ALL of Mat 19:1-13. It says that if you do divorce, REMARRIAGE is permitted if...
-If you frequent this site, you will hear this from me quite often. I have no degrees in Theology and I have no training in biblical linguistics, and I will never manipulate anybody by saying, "God told me...". I just know how to read and try not to justify myself by misusing God's Word.
---aka_joseph on 4/28/10


Part two of two: Jenny,
I am also going through something quite similar. If anyone has a justified reason for divorce it would be me. However, five excruciating years, I have come to accept that sin [divorce in this case] is never justified.

Ironically, although I legally need a divorce to protect my children, I cannot afford one.

I am very sorry for you and your husband, but whatever happens, take your time.
---aka_joseph on 4/28/10


It's interesting, isn't it? We can get used to being single, and we can get used to being with someone. Once you get used to being with someone, and they are not there anymore, it can get lonely. I don't know if after six months that you feel this way or not, but just because he is doing the wrong thing, don't let it cause you to do the wrong thing.

Make Christ your companion.
---amand6348 on 4/28/10


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