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What Is A Proper Apology

What is considered a Biblical apology? How does one apologise properly for a wrong they have committed?

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 ---Stanley on 4/29/10
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Donna66,

I do agree with you. My 8 year old understands, my 6 year old keeps aking questions, and my 3 year old needs to be reminded constantly about saying sorry. However, she has no problem asking for forgiveness :~).

It's like teaching manners. Gentle enforcement and reinforcemt now helps shape their future. You know...bring up a child in the way they should go...
---aka.joseph on 6/15/10


aka joseph -- OK, I remember now. (you've got a better memory than I do.)
Kids are individuals just as adults are.
Some catch on to things faster than others. So any generalization I may have made as to what kids may or may not understand are my own impressions. But a 5 y/o is normally quite a bit ahead of a 3 y/o in development. This is a documented fact.
---Donna66 on 6/15/10


Donna66,

That was almost 2 months ago. I cannot restate Pt. 1 any different. Pt 2 was a simple illustration of what I teach my kid's about forgiveness. It's no big deal.
---aka.joseph on 6/14/10


It depends on the offense and the damage involved. If it's monetary, then pay them back, if you broke something, get it fixed, it can be done through a face-to-face meeting, or by telephone or in a letter. Put yourself in the other person's place, in the place of the person you offended, how would you like that person who has hurt you to apologize to you? be honest and truthful, then do it. The Golden Rule is to, "Say and do to others exactly what you would want others to say and do to you". Some offenses are so horrendous that I know that a person will need God's help in order to make certain wrongs right.
---Eloy on 6/15/10


aka-joseph -- Sorry, I'm not following you...what is your point? I haven't the foggiest notion what you are referring to or implying.
What is it you say I can't accept? What do you mean, do I need to learn about forgiveness?
---Donna66 on 6/13/10




Strongaxe-- Sounds like a valid apology to me (though it may sound like an accusation to some.)
---Donna66 on 6/13/10


We do not always have to run to the Bible. The living God, does live in us, you know. that is, If you've been saved. Just apologize where God lives, from your heart. God is a heart God.
---catherine on 6/13/10


Pt. One:
Donna66, in another blog, you said that you believe whole-heartedly in a five year old's salvation. However, you keep saying that a young child cannot understand forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a major part of salvation...
---aka_joseph on 4/29/10


Pt. Two:
Donna66,



But, since you cannot seem to accept this, I will give you an example:


Me: You apologize to your brother for hittin' him.

3 year old: I so...

Me: What?

3 year old: I sorry!

Me: Now ask for His forgiveness.

3 year old: Daddy, what is forgibness?

Me: It asking him not to stay mad at you for hitting him.

3 year old: Oh! .......Brutter, will you forgib me?

Brother: Yes.

If brother says 'no' or nothing at all, I tell the little one that God is glad that she asked for it anyway, and He forgives her.

We teach kids about God, and yet,we still have little idea about his nature.
Donna66, do you need to learn about forgiveness?
---aka_joseph on 4/29/10


Ask forgiveness from the person you have offended. You must be sincere and not just trying to "keep the peace" with that person. Same goes if you have offended someone else.
---KarenD on 4/29/10




Donna66:

Sometimes such non-apologies are just ways of deflecting guilt (which seems to be very common, - especially in the litigation-obsessed United States).

On the other hand, sometimes they are the proper thing to do. For examples, in situations where you take an action that you believe is right, and it may have unfortunate consequences, but you still think it's right anyway. In this case, you can indicate that you didn't intend the bad consequences, but they aren't your fault.

For example, "I'm sorry you missed the wedding because you neglected to buy lamp oil in advance, but I made provisions only for myself, as I couldn't afford to buy enough for everyone else" (see Matthew 25:1-13).
---StrongAxe on 4/29/10


A proper apology from a three y/o, I think, is simply, "I'm sorry". But a child this young has no concept of asking forgiveness. You have to prompt him, as in "Say 'I'm sorry'." or "tell Aunt Martha you're sorry".
A year or so later, it may be "what do you say when you step on somebody's toe?"

A older child may be helped to say, "I'm sorry I took your toy...hit you...made fun of you...lied etc.
Helping him find the right words also clarifies in HIS mind what his misdeed actually was.
---Donna66 on 4/29/10


Donna ... that happens here.

An untrue accusation may be made by A, against B.

B protests.

B is then accused of sinning by being offended.

Not uncommon, or variations of this.
---alan8566_ogf_uk on 4/29/10


well actually jesus said if you have something against your brother go to him and get it straightened out before you offer worship,or prayer to God.many times we have offended someone and dont even realize it.
---tom2 on 4/29/10


It is extremely common these days, for Christians and non-Christians alike, to offer a "non-apology.
A non-apology says, "I'm sorry if I hurt you...BUT (I had a good reason). In other words, I'm sorry you let yourself be hurt by what I said or did. The "hurt" is your fault, not mine.

An apology says: I'm sorry I hurt you. Will you forgive me?
Further discussion may or may not ensue.

Often what passes for "repentance" is likewise "non-repentance"
"I'm sorry God for what I did....but under the circumstances...I knew you would understand."
---Donna66 on 4/29/10


Ofcourse, it must come from God. And you can apologize even when you feel you have done nothing wrong. We do have the conviction of the Holy Ghost. All that you have to say is this "I am sorry" or you can say, "I am sorry, will you forgive me?" A believer probably would be okey. However, do not be surprise if the unbeliever shuns you, in all of their pride.
---catherine on 4/29/10


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Great question!

I have a 7, 6, and 3 year old.

I do expect the "perpetrator" to apologize as we know it. In addition, I require that the "perpetrator" also ask for forgiveness.

The former satisfies the "victim" of the offense, and the latter releases the "perpetrator" whether or not forgiveness is granted.
---aka_joseph on 4/29/10


Pray & talk to your pastor. Go to that person that you have wronged & or even the person that has wronged you, apologize. If the apology is not received from who-ever, then take it to your pastor.
---Lawrence on 4/29/10


I think the real issue here is accepting the apology once tendered, whatever form the apology might take.
---Cluny on 4/29/10


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