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Church People Criticise Me

There are people at church that come up to me criticise me then walk away without giving me a chance to defend myself How would you handle this?

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 ---Joseph on 4/29/10
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I'd handle it like a crybaby, if I was wrong, probably. - Bill_bila5659 on 5/5/10

Bill's like that man you see sitting in his recliner speaking only when he needs to. And when he speaks, he makes me laugh (at myself) and think and makes me thank God that He leaves an example of maturity in the Spirit and not just another word hound.
---aka_joseph on 5/6/10


'find another church?'

it is not the church that is the problem, it is the people.

when believers lack understanding, they will criticize you.
when believers are 'experts' in quoting the verses from the bible & unable to explain with balance & mature teaching, they will criticize you.
and when you 'trust & obey' you will end up being deceived
---mike on 5/5/10

I'd handle it like a crybaby, if I was wrong, probably. One might drop one's seed and get away, so I would not have a chance to try to justify myself.

But when someone has criticized me and I was sure the person was trying to keep attention away from how that person can be wrong, I'd take note of that and know enough not to get too involved with that person. And be a good example of how to be submissive to God in His love's "incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (in 1 Peter 3:4) Or else, I am wrong, too.

"And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls, though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved." (2 Corinthians 12:15)
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/5/10

Find another church!
---Bob on 5/4/10

Smile and reply sincerely,(even if they are walking away) "I am so grateful you feel comfortable enough with me to be so honest. I know we are going to be the best of friends." If their intent is to make you feel bad, your reply will show them their critical comments just slide off your back. If their suggestions are being met with a bit too much sensitivity on your part, saying this will give them the permission they need to go into more depth on the matter. Hold onto your confidence, and don't let criticism rob you of your peace.
---Elaine on 5/3/10

yes definitely let the pastor know what is going on. bullying is unacceptable at any age. do not let them bother you. everyone is entitled to be different. they need to grow up this is not high school or grammar school. everyone deserves respect and you do not get it by bullying people. do not remain quiet but do not argue because its not worth arguing. arguments get us nowhere.
---aly on 5/2/10

What are they critcizing you for? Surely there is some reason(s). Are you a leader in the church? Teacher? I don't think they would just choose you to pick on. If so-why? Whatever the case may be,perhaps, you need to let the pastor know what is going on,for starters.
---Robyn on 5/2/10

The same thing happens on these blogs, criticism of anything or anybody that we do not agree with. Usually with no scripture to back their THOUGHTS.
---michael_e on 5/1/10

It may be some consolation for you to realize that GOD is the avenger (He will not let His beloved go unavenged). It is a terrible thing for the unjust to stand before The Lord (NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE).

Hebrews 10:30
"Vengeance is mine, I will repay." And again, "The Lord will judge his people."

verse 31
"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God".

Do not disregard "Vengeance is mine".

Don't take vengeance by chewing out those whose unjust reproach you suffer, the 'avenger' will give them their due. Just keep your peace of mind and walk away.

God is always watching, so that by His beloved trusting Him (FAITH), they may have PEACE.
---more_excellent_way on 5/1/10

Joseph-- What is their criticism? Is it something you can improve? Perhaps that is more important than defending yourself.

Some of the most useful information I've gained about myself in the past, has came from those I considered to be my "enemy".

Nobody likes criticism. But give it some thought. WHY do they say what they say? Try to see yourself through their eyes.
---Donna66 on 4/30/10

cathrine: "Tell them to go to..... you know where! Well, I am no hypocrite. Well, Father, please forgive these sinners. No, Tell them where to GO."

You should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking such thoughts. What you are actually doing is curing someone and God frowns on people who say such things. I suggest a little repentance.
---Steveng on 4/30/10

Matthew 18 deals with how one deals with a brother who offends you. If someone thinks something is wrong with you, tells you, and then leaves before you can speak, then HE is dealing with you improperly, so you should go back to him and correct HIM about that. If such behavior persists, speak to him with several others, and if it still persists, bring it up to church leadership, etc.

The Bible also says in many places that truth is established by the testimonly of 2-3 witnesses, so if he speaks to you but does not even listen to you, his testmiony is of no account.
---StrongAxe on 4/30/10

\\You might be supprise of what this loving Father to His children might tell you to do to the bad guy.\\

You know, Jesus had two disciples who sounded just like this. They were James and John and were called "the sons of thunder". When the Samaritans didn't receive Jesus, they wanted to call fire down upon them. When they asked Jesus if they should do that, Jesus said, "You don't know what spirit you are of" (see, you can be a disciple and be in the wrong spirit). From that point on, the Samaritans were a focal point of Jesus' ministry. The woman at the well, the good Samaritan, etc. Catherine, you seem to love the thunder (sound of judgment), but in doing so you despise the lightning (His appearing).
---Linda on 4/30/10

His appearing is like lightning shining from the east to the west. In God's east was the brazen altar (the place of sacrifice). In God's west was the mercy seat (the throne of God). As the light shines from the place of sacrifice to the throne of God, so shall the coming of the Son of Man be (see Eph.1:17-23). Light shining on the person and the work of Christ is the goodness of God that reveals Christ and leads a man to repentance. What is so wonderful is that Jesus knows how to just love someone until they die to their own agenda. John was transformed from a son of thunder to the disciple whom Jesus loved and who had such a revelation of the love of God he wrote about it more than any other gospel writer.
---Linda on 4/30/10

People notice that you have a higher integrity (conscience) and more common sense than they do (you don't simply depend on 'the book' to be holy, you have an independent mind). They have the need to belittle you in order to compensate for their own insecurities (you are a "mirror" to them....the reference point for integrity). You show them their "natural face" and they don't like it.

James 1:23
"a man who observes his natural face in a mirror".

Just like the "Gentiles", your conscience makes you FIRST a law to yourself (and of course, ULTIMATELY accountable to God)....

Romans 2:14
"a law to themselves".

You are not just simply IMAGINING that you are a 'victim'.
---more_excellent_way on 4/30/10

\\You might be supprise of what this loving Father to His children might tell you to do to the bad guy.\\

How long have you been hearing voices, catherine?
---Cluny on 4/30/10

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Matthew 7:3 Why do you behold the mote that is in your brothers eye,but don't consider the beam that is in your own eye? Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite,first cast out the beam from your own eye,and then you shall see clearly to cast out the mote from your brothers eye. Matthew 18:15 -if your brother tresspass against you,go tell him his fault between you and him,if he hears you,you have gained your brother. You could have these verses written on a small piece of paper or card and quickly hand it to them when they begin their criticism. Smile and be extra nice to them and by so doing you heap coals of fire on their heads as in Romans 12:20,21 Be not overcome with evil but overcome evil with good.
---Darlene_1 on 4/30/10

Joseph, first let me say how sorry I am that you are attending a church that people do this to you - that's AWFUL. What kind of Christians are those people?

As soon as you see them approaching you, walk away - walk in the opposite direction...keep going, get through the crowds anyway you can and get out of their path.

If they by chance do catch up to you, IGNORE THEM...that's how Jesus handled the Pharisees. Not responding to someone means you are not going to acknowledge what they've said to you. It's their sin, not yours. God will deal with them. The Lord Loves Justice is what the bible tells us.
---Donna5535 on 4/30/10


are you on elicit drugs or do you need some money to get the medication you need?

Maybe you need a pair of glasses that will allow you to read the Bible and quit using God's name for your own purposes.
---aka_joseph on 4/30/10


This question is so ambiguous and so full of possibilities that I am surprised that there is any response at all. How often do we crucify the defendant without a fair and balanced trial because we side with the complainant who got there first? If questioned what would they say?

The way that you have presented this seems like maybe you are trying to garner sympathy instead of the Truth.

It could be that you are already known on this blog site but my first question still stands.
---aka_joseph on 4/30/10

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sounds like alot of judging going on,and not much love.
---tom2 on 4/30/10

While we are suppose to use temperance, Jesus absolutely hates hypocrites. So pray first and then act. You might be supprise of what this loving Father to His children might tell you to do to the bad guy. Short of murder ofcourse.....Well, they are always bragging on how well they know You, well, I'm letting them know how I know You, too.
---catherine on 4/30/10

"How would you handle this?"
Hopefully, I would allow Jesus to be my example.
"Who, when 'they' [those who would accuse or criticize Him] hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate, when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges 'justly' (righteously fair)." 1Pe 2:23 NIV
---Josef on 4/30/10

nana...Thank you for giving an excellent example of Joseph's problem.
---KarenD on 4/30/10

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What did Jesus Do? Did he take vengence, No He didn't! What is it that they criticise about? ask yourself If its true? Only your heart would know if it is. You know between right and wrong! If it is! then maybe you should repent to God, God to teach you what He desires for your life. Sometimes we act on feelings because we feel affended when someone corrects us and we tend to think they are being criticle or condeming. sometimes others have hurt me deeply with their judgements of me. But I had to be real with myself and realize that I was wrong. No liar will go to heaven, so knowing this I had to be truthful to myself and I also thanked those who critcised me. Because it made me real with myself, and right with God
---MMB on 4/29/10

I get it from here all the time.

Do your best to ignore them.
---Cluny on 4/29/10

Tell them to go to..... you know where! Well, I am no hypocrite. Well, Father, please forgive these sinners. No, Tell them where to GO.
---cathrine on 4/29/10

did jesus christ pray for the pharisees, experts in the law when they criticized his healing on a sabbath? he confronted them & told them hypocrites.

what did christ tell the synagogue leader when he criticize christ for healing on a sabbath. he pointed out the reason why he healed on a sabbath.
---mike on 4/29/10

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From your description of the problem I can conclude absolutely nothing. Yet, I am marvelled at the insight of these early two, who read so much into your statement including "make fun"!
---Nana on 4/29/10

They have no right to make fun of anyone
Ignore them,and pray for them, as they do need prayer
---gabby7687 on 4/29/10

Joseph...Swallow your pride and ignore them. I have had this happen on occasion and I am a pastor's wife. There are just some people who don't look for good things in people. They are so unhappy that they want to make everybody else unhappy. The sad part is that some of these people can really pick you apart if you let them keep it up. Pray for them!
---KarenD on 4/29/10

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