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Affair With Heavy Woman

Why would a good looking married man with a pretty wife, two daughters and everything to lose, have a emotional affair with a over weight married woman?

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 ---Sonya on 5/12/10
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Trish....."L" answered this question as if it had been posted by an adulterous husband. The name Sonya is probably fake anyway. I figured it was posted by the "pretty" wife. Maybe the husband is messing around with another woman because the "pretty" wife is too self-absorbed in her prettiness.
---KarenD on 5/18/10


KarenD: Your observation about assumptions concerning the writer of the question are interesting. I would not have thought the writer to be the husband, given the name Sonya for the writer. Plus, the assumption is based on the writer's idea that the wife is pretty, and is the one holding the cards of everything to lose.
---Trish9863 on 5/18/10


It's funny how people perceive these questions. This could have been asked by the married man who is wondering why he is being adulterous, by the wife who calls herself pretty, or by the overweight woman who is wondering why she is involved with a married man.
---KarenD on 5/17/10


For one thing an overweight woman isnt unnatractive,some men prefer overweight women.What if she was prettier than you does that mean he had a reason to cheat on you?Looks doesnt matter,your husband cheated,The devil is a tempter.Is your husband a christian.Are u a christian?God can mend broken hearts ,people can let us down but God never does.Pray to get rid of bitterness,it is understandable though,but pray to get rid of that.Forgive husband and go on with your life with your husband.And getting back at him doesnt solve anything.True forgiveness is freeing.
---angela on 5/16/10


L: You need to learn to read. The original poster is not lusting, it is her husband.

Sonya: Your post shows your values and that you are shallow. Physical appearance is obviously not as important to your husband.

I suggest you get into marital therapy with your husband to learn what he considers his needs, and for you to find out what is wrong in your marriage for him to go looking.
---Trish9863 on 5/15/10




First your in sin, for even lusting after this other married woman,but why would you even mention that she is overweight ?
Anyways, you need to repent for your lustful and sinful thoughts, and fix your marriage.
---L. on 5/13/10


Sonya,
Rather than insulting the other woman in order to make yourself feel better you should try to fix the problem before it turns into something more.
---pg1 on 5/13/10


Obviously, your husband is one who values qualities other than physical beauty. Since you say this is an "emotional" affair, you might ask, "what is she giving him that I'm not?".
---Donna66 on 5/12/10


Sonya,

The fact that he is having an emotional affair with a person who is not considered one of the pretty people despite the fact he "has so much to lose" might be an indication that he is maybe longing for something a little deeper. Would it be better for you if his affair was with a pretty woman?

Look in the mirror and give him a wife that is pretty on the inside too, and as far as the "things" to lose, maybe you should lose some of thos things so he can see your inside beauty.

Whatever happens, please, do not use the kids as leverage.
---aka_joseph on 5/12/10


"The weight of sin can tip the scale."

"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world," (Philippians 2:14-15)

So, God does expect us to do every single thing and every m-a-r-r-i-e-d thing "without" any complaining or arguing, and to love like this, right in the middle of this world's "crooked and perverse generation". So, if a "pretty wife" turns out to be a fighter and griper, this can show her guy that good looks don't really mean anything. And a plump one who shows him appreciation can then be pretty appealing.
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/12/10




What do you mean by "emotional affair," Sonya?

Do I detect in your self-description "pretty woman" a touch of envy?
---Cluny on 5/12/10


Sonya,

I believe that there is NO excuse for a partner being unfaithful, sexually or emotionally, in a marriage.

Some partners, men and women, will have an affair when the opportunity arises. Many claim that they were not getting the necessary: attention, admiration, support, love, compliments, etc. etc. etc. at their own home.

A very poor excuse if you ask me. NO human being can supply all of our needs. Only God can do that.

I can relate to what you are going through. My ex-wife had an affair and the betrayal was heartbreaking. For me, my kids, friends, etc.
---Augie on 5/12/10


Right off hand we don't know both sides of the story in such situations. But he messing around on a pretty wife & 2 daughters, surely-truly his actions & thinking Isn't Right. Seems like his wires are crossed somewhere.

This may or may not be comical to some, but this over-weight woman has more to love.
---Lawrence on 5/12/10


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