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Forced To Marry Girlfriend

A man was forced to marry his girlfriend by the church when she got pregnant shortly after they started dating. She was married before so he is now committing adultery. How is his marriage seen in the eyes of God?

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 ---Shamarca on 5/13/10
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Francis: God is love. I got pregnant and had my son before I got married. I didn't get married because it was the right thing to do cause at that time I didn't care if it was wrong or not. I got married because I was in love. If two people aren't living right with God then they don't care what is right and wrong. And what you quoted from the bible doesn't apply to the ones who are not living right, because they don't care what the bible says. Plain and simple if two people are not in love with eachother, then they shouldn't get married.
---Rebecca_D on 5/28/10


What is love>
---francis on 5/27/10


Yeah, but she is already pregnant, so LOVE has nothing to do with this. This is now a matter of obedience to God's word. the only way to redeem this women and man is by marriage.
And because they are having sex, and she is pregnant, love has nothing to do with it

Deuteronomy 22:28 If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found,

Deuteronomy 22:29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days
---francis on 5/27/10


Well if I didn't love someone I wouldn't marry them. I know what the bible says, but a happy marriage isn't very happy without love.
---Rebecca_D on 5/25/10


How do you respond to those text where people get married, and arenot initially in love?

Deuteronomy 21:10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies...

Deuteronomy 21:11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife,

Deuteronomy 21:12.. Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails,

Deuteronomy 21:13.. and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife
---francis on 5/20/10




Rebecca_D, Where in this post does the person say there is no love in this relationship?
---a_friend on 5/20/10


Francis: Well then just let the child grow up in a non-loving home. I know what the bible says. But if the parents do not love each other then how can they fully love their child? I had my son then about a month later I got married. The difference is, I was not forced and I was in love. If I didn't love the baby's daddy I wouldn't have married him.
---Rebecca_D on 5/20/10


What's love got to do with it?

Ruth 4:5 Then said Boaz, What day thou buyest the field of the hand of Naomi, thou must buy [it] also of Ruth the Moabitess, the wife of the dead, to raise up the name of the dead upon his inheritance.
---francis on 5/19/10


What's love got to do with it?

Genesis 38:11 Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren [did]. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's house.
---francis on 5/19/10


What's love got to do with it?

Deuteronomy 25:5 If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her.
---francis on 5/19/10




What's love got to do with it?

Judges 21:21 And see, and, behold, if the daughters of Shiloh come out to dance in dances, then come ye out of the vineyards, and catch you every man his wife of the daughters of Shiloh, and go to the land of Benjamin.


Judges 21:23 And the children of Benjamin did so, and took [them] wives, according to their number, of them that danced, whom they caught: and they went and returned unto their inheritance, and repaired the cities, and dwelt in them.
---francis on 5/19/10


Frances: What does love have to do with it? Love has everything to do with it. What child would want to grow up in a home with their parents not loving eachother? If the parents don't love eachother then that could lead to one of them or both of them cheating. Love has everything to do with it.
---Rebecca_D on 5/19/10


Doubtless that the 'force' was anything as that exerted in a good ol shotgun wedding. Most likely was the treat of losing fellowship as that man in Corinth which was disfellowshipped. So then, the man submitting to the urging demontrated that he himself agreed that it was the right thing to do. They had both been accepted by the church and so was their romance apparently, however their fornication surely was not common knowledge to the church...
---Nana on 5/19/10


They should not get married if they do not love each other.
---Rebecca_d on 5/18/10

Deuteronomy 22:28 If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found,

Deuteronomy 22:29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Deuteronomy 22:30 A man shall not take his father's wife, nor discover his father's skirt.

What's love got to do with it?
---francis on 5/18/10


They were both in sin. If they were to marry then it would cause problems in the long run. They should not get married if they do not love each other. They need 2 grow up because they r parents now. To force 2people 2get married because of pregency would end up n a divorce.
---Rebecca_d on 5/18/10


Of the comments I see, that of 'L' (The man and the lady both need to repent for their past sins) seems the best, and least controversial
---peter3594 on 5/17/10


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Deuteronomy 22:28 If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found,

Deuteronomy 22:29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Deuteronomy 22:30 A man shall not take his father's wife, nor discover his father's skirt.

Well this is the biblical price to be paid when we do this. Now this man is justin the eyes of God.

About the adultery thing:
---francis on 5/17/10


---Shamarca, are you that man? Is that why you're asking these questions?

I can't tell you how God sees his/your marriage...only God can tell you that.

I think you are speaking about yourself, right?

Repent comes to mind. Going to God and asking Him HOW to repent (in sackcloth and ashes maybe? weeping and fasting?) I really don't know, but repentence would be the first thing I would do. God will have to tell you the rest....There's much sin here. She was married and re-married and he is committing adultery - this is something only GOD can figure out - His wisdom is unfathomable.
---Donna5535 on 5/17/10


She has the same business Christ gave everyone saved to do. However those with their opinions seasoned with disbelief in the word of the living God Blown about with every wind of doctrine, get angry when Christians rightly question the very acts which are brought into question and rightly so!

1Cr 5:11
But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner, with such an one no not to eat.

and also all the rest!
---Carla on 5/16/10


You are a busybody who has no business poking your nose into the spiritual ramifications of anyone's marriage. What business do you have concerning yourself with this marriage?
---Trish9863 on 5/15/10


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It is not seen as a marriage where two saved people who marry for the first time or remarry after death, and make heaven their resting place Adultery shall not have any part of the kingdom of heaven. So I would say in view of that this is a marriage bound for an uncertain eternity. Not only those that married but the church who forced it, Which was wrong.
---Carla on 5/15/10


Before attempting to answer of whether the marriage is Godly or what. I would love to hate the idea of the girl being pregnant while the the man had the marriage. He from then was an adulterer. Why bothering of their marriage? Any way as the contract may be illigal following illigality in its formation so does this marriage.
---Frederick_Mbise on 5/15/10


aka joseph-- Do you work for Christianet?
If not where do you get these percentages?
---Donna66 on 5/14/10


Friendly_Blogger on 5/13/10

I agree 100%. 80% of the blog questions are nothing, but silly tripe. CN has there reasons for publishing these: some good, some bad. Another 15% are leading question to aid in promoting non-Christian belief. 3% are from the Christian misinformed/misguided. And, the other 4%, are good, legitimate questions.

Yes, I realize that is 102%, but I included the percentage of good, legitimate questions not published.
---aka_joseph on 5/14/10


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If it's any of your business, why don't you ask God?

Can't you hear from Him as easily as anyone here?

Of course, He may say something like, "What is that to you? You follow Me."
---Cluny on 5/14/10


Atheist, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins" (I John 1:9). This promise is specifically for Christians, and includes even the sin of adultery, if there is genuine repentance. The Lord made this very clear in His dealing with the woman who "was taken in adultery, in the very act" (John 8:4). He reminded her accusers that they also were sinners and had no warrant to punish her. Then He told the woman: "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more" (John 8:11).
---a_friend on 5/14/10


The man and the lady both need to repent for their past sins, not that it will make what they did right,but having your sins covered by the blood of the lamb would be the first step in starting a new life together and to help from the "sins of the father" being passed down to the next generation.
---L. on 5/13/10


Question like this are out of place on Christianet. This is more a scenario for a segment on the Jerry Springer show. We don't have enough information about what really occurred. And we will never be able to get all sides presenting facts or lies. And the situation is so convoluted that unless you are in the business of pumping out septic tanks there will never be any satisfactory resolution to the incidents. Every thing presented so far was a "wrong", There can be no Christian ethical resolution to the incidents. You simply have to know when to say chuck it and don't waste any more time discussing it. The only good that can ever come from this an an other illustration in your bad example file.
---Friendly_Blogger on 5/13/10


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There are several sins involved here. First, the man is committing adultery. Second, both the man and the woman committed the sin of fornication. Sexual intercourse outside of marriage.

God obviously blessed the couple with the new life of their baby. All this in the middle of sin. The baby is the innocent victim here and will bear the results of it's parents' sins.

In Gods view, a forced marriage isn't his "best" for the couple. However, he DOES expect them to be responsible for their sins and the consequences. That includes providing a loving home for their child.

The couple should confess all their sins to God and press forward. With God, the only direction we can go is forward from where we're at.
---Sag on 5/13/10


No church can force anyone to get married. It appears as if you are concerned about "his" marriage more than you should be.
---KarenD on 5/13/10


Maybe someone should ask if they are going to live happily ever after.

Maybe their church should be discussing the use of birth control. Or is it better not to use it, get pregnant, have the only options of an unwanted baby, adoption, or to get an abortion? Or, these are modern times? Be forced by a church to get married?

But I am interested to see how you all are going to reconcile this situation. Are the husband and the wife both adulterers and both going to hell?
---atheist on 5/13/10


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