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How Long Should You Date

How would you feel if you are still not engaged after 4 years of being in a Christian relationship?

Join Our Christian Dating and Take The Relationships Quiz
 ---connie on 5/27/10
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Dear Connie:

Some people prefer not to marry and are not called into marriage. You need to find out if your "boyfriend" is one of those. By the way, does he know he is your "boyfriend"?

Like some of your friends have said, it is wise to approach the altar slowly.

Did you know that only 10% of couples polled stated they were "Happily Married" after 10 years.

"Things" change when one is married. There are expectations that come with matrimony, that the unwed do not need to concern themselves with. Marriage is not for the faint-hearted.

By the way, have you been practicing your procreative skills with this man? If you have been, then perhaps you have your answer already.
---Higgins on 7/1/10


Wrong.

Franklin was SPECIFICALLY a Deist, though just a deist and not a Christian
*****

NEVER declared Franklin was ANYTHING simply stated what his thoughts were on paper - a BIG difference in seeking godly advice from a Christian man who walks after Christ

as for his SARCASTIC comment about marriage I have no idea whether his marriage "advice" would be good or bad seeing his writings are more based on business than his marriage

not ALL great men have good advice about marriage especially when their comments outwardly suggest otherwise
---Rhonda on 7/1/10


\\Benjamin Franklin once said, "Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding and half-shut afterwards."
*****

Franklin who outwardly admitted to not believing in a deity OFTEN in his writings - hmm "great christian advise"\\

Wrong.

Franklin was SPECIFICALLY a Deist, though just a deist and not a Christian.

And are you saying that his words are bad advice in themselves?
---Cluny on 7/1/10


They did NOT date in scipture!
They simply betroth and were Married
---John on 6/19/10


Your Christian courtship can be as long as God allows you. (1) I heard the testimony (directly from him on the pulpit) of a Pastor who God gave his wedding date without knowing who to marry. 3 months to the date he was tranferred to a new city. 7 days to the w-date God showed him his wife in Church. The lady accepted but the Church leaders refused initially. God told the Head-Pastor overnight to fund/sponsor the wedding and they are happily married till now. (2) A male orphan lived in a family that accepted him. After 27yrs, himself amd the daughter of the man decided to marry. Imagine the no of years they courted!.
---Adetunji on 6/18/10




Benjamin Franklin once said, "Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding and half-shut afterwards."
*****

Franklin who outwardly admitted to not believing in a deity OFTEN in his writings - hmm "great christian advise"

a godly man is seeking to make himself and his purpose KNOWN

a game-player is seeking to string along any women who is either ignorant immature or in many cases low self esteem OFTEN at HER expense until he finds a suitable mate

4 years in a "christian relationship" having affections yet acting in chastity?

amazing how many women commit themselves to men who do not HONOR them by asking for their hand in marriage
---Rhonda on 5/29/10


Benjamin Franklin once said, "Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding and half-shut afterwards."
---Cluny on 5/29/10


There is an old song which says take time to know her well if it is a man take time to know him. Marriage is one of the most discussed subjects on this site and very rarely is it to say I am wonderfully married.

So unless you want to join the popularity list of bewildered divorcees I'd take as much time over making sure that you are both dedicated to not only God but to the hard work it's going to take to keep married. Especially when the fun's over and real life begins.

Make sure you are both are well informed about marriage a bit more intense than buying a car!
---Carla on 5/28/10


Don't give up hope. Maybe wait a few more years, eight years tops.
---amand6348 on 5/28/10


Some people are hesitant to commit to marriage because of fear that their marriage will end up in divorce, as their parents. My son-in-law's parents are legally separated, but living under the same roof, and I am divorced. So, it makes sense that he would make certain that he and my daughter were to marry. I think waiting shows maturity and seeking wisdom.
---Trish9863 on 5/28/10




My daughter and her five in-laws all dated over four years before an engagement.
---Trish9863 on 5/27/10


You have been going together for four yeas now according to your statement. What is the Quality of the relationship during this period? Is your mutual communication good? How does your friend feel about moving the relationship toward marriage? Are there any obvious obstacles you have not mentioned to us? Maybe you are part of the problem, you may manifest negative attributes that are tolerable in a casual relationship but intolerable in a 24/7 marriage.

Nothing is going to happen with out good communication between you both.

Sometimes it is better to be in a tolerable relationship then in a really bad marriage. Just make sure you have your lifejack on and fastened before you stand up and be assertive while whitewater rafting.
---Friendly_Blogger on 5/27/10


How old are you?

How old is he?

Have you been seeing each other exclusively all this time?

Does he or you have issues that still must be worked through?

Are either of you pursuing a higher academic degree?

Do either of you have family or other obligations that make postponement of marriage necessary?

What's stopped you from proposing to him?
---Cluny on 5/27/10


well i would get answeres. After 4 yrs it's time to move on in either direction either to marriage or set free.
---canda on 5/27/10


I would feel awful. I would think there was something wrong with me if the guy I was dating didn't want to marry me sooner than 4 years.

connie-what is his problem? Is he afraid to commit to you? Is this not serious in his eyes? Did you ask him?

Are you in love with him? Is he with you? Then ask him what the problem is...sheesh, 4 years is a long time to be engaged in this day and age.
---Donna5535 on 5/27/10


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