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Pastors Kids Are Worldly

I have known many pastor kids who follow the ways of the world. Did this mean that the person should not have ever become a pastor?

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 ---Augie on 5/29/10
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The example is that if a man cannot rule his own home and keep his children in check he is not going to control Gods house and boy does it need control!!!

I have seen loads of examples of leaderships fail and children turn from God and also the youth who see the unruly behaviour as something to follow straight out into darkness and they very rarely return.

If God said don't do something DON'T DO IT especially when it comes to his house!
---Carla on 8/3/10


I would not say the person should not have become a pastor. when all is said and done the kids are going to have to stand on their own relationship with Jesus Christ. Mom,dad nobody can do that for us. Each for himself. But if I were a pastor I would demand that my kids go to church if they are living under my roof. No exceptions. But some pastors are not living a holy life before their kids. If the kid see this, they will not want to attend church or do godly things. Of course, there are no guarantees they will do the right thing by attending church on a regular basis. Church does not save anyone! Christ has to get in us!
---Robyn on 7/30/10


It means he should not be a Bishop because he cannot keep his own house in order.


1Ti 3:5
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
---Carla on 7/29/10


I have known and do know many pastors that follow the ways of the world, how can we expect the kids to be any different.
---michael_e on 6/23/10


lawrence --- I did not grow up in a church-attending family. But may father insisted I attend school whether I wanted to or not.
I may have resented that sometimes as a child... but when I became a adult (who needed a job), I was more than grateful..
---Donna66 on 6/1/10




Donna, I love to see your passion for the Word of God. cool..
I agree with Scripture and Bill, "let them be tested." In additon to "knowing," if we were in fellowship with one another, especially the "overseer," we would know. Fellowship happens when we are in contact day be day. When one only sees a "pastor" once a week for 30 minutes, no one won't know, and therein lies the problem. People want me to submit to a person I don't know, and it's almost impossible to know under those circumstances. His children, my children, and our families should be in fellowship. Then we'll know.
---Rod4Him on 6/1/10


Donna, I love to see your passion for the Word of God. cool..
I agree with Scripture and Bill, "let them be tested." In additon to "knowing," if we were in fellowship with one another, especially the "overseer," we would know. Fellowship happens when we are in contact day be day. When one only sees a "pastor" once a week for 30 minutes, no one won't know, and therein lies the problem. People want me to submit to a person I don't know, and it's almost impossible to know under those circumstances. His children, my children, and our families should be in fellowship. Then we'll know.
---Rod4Him on 6/1/10


Well, love the children and be the example they need, instead of first judging the pastor. Do what we can do, now.

We have people who have low standards for who they have as pastors. 1 Timothy 3:1-10 says a man needs to be *tested* *first*, before he is even considered for ordination. But if people have not been doing this, we have kicked out God's standards so we can now have such a shortage of pastors because we have not obeyed God's standards. So, maybe we need to judge *this*. If we obey this, God is able to make us able to tell the difference between who is acting and who has the real character required (Philippians 1:9)
---Bill_bila5659 on 6/1/10


Donna
Children-siblings, male & female, forced to go to ch-services.
My Pastor said his Pastor Dad said, as long as you live under my roof your going to Church & he is glad he did. But to some, that will bring resentment.
---Lawrence on 6/1/10


Rod4Him--
"How is an overseer going to manage the spiritual lives of people, if he can't manage his own household?"

He can't. But you are missing my point. I'm NOT "watering down" scripture.
I'm saying that there is a limit to how much you can KNOW about another person's family.
The appearance of an "ideal" Christian family has masked many an evil. Families change over time, sometimes "good" children go "bad". JUST because a man seems to manage his own household well, does not necessarily mean he will be a good overseer for the church.
Godly JUDGEMENT is needed. Likewise, normal family problems do not always render an otherwise anointed pastor unfit.
---Donna66 on 5/31/10




lawrence--
You say "If children are forced to go & not willingly..." Go where? What did you mean?
I can't follow your reasoning about siblings etc. They will resent what?

Does forcing a child to go to school make him an ignoramus? Does forcing a child to go to the dentist mean he will neglect his teeth as an adult? Does forcing a child to attend church or Sunday School mean he will be an unbeliever as an adult?

NO. But you may be able to modify the situation to make it more agreeable for him.

IMHO children need to know there are some things that, as a member of the family, they will be required to do...willingly or not.
---Donna66 on 5/31/10


Judgment begins in The House of God.
If children are forced to go & not willingly, there will be resentment form the siblings when-ever how much older they get. The worldly aspect may have came from 1 or both parents or even in the family history some where.
Jesus knocks on their hearts door (male & female), & they don't respond, it's their choice not to be saved & cleansed from the worldly traits.
Some parents claimed to be saved & be flirting
with the worldly pleasures the devil puts before them & the siblings see this going on. No wonder some siblings are.
You canNot serve 2 masters.
---Lawrence on 5/31/10


Of course not! Children cannot ride up to heaven on their saved parents coat-tails.
---catherine on 5/31/10


Yes, Donna, I know you didn't mean that. I was trying to make a point. If we water down one part of scripture, where do we stop? I also know many things are not black and white.

It must be one reason why churches, in general, are so powerless, "overseers don't qualify," and people don't expect them to.

If I am having trouble in a marriage, should I want to get counsel from a person who also is failing?

"How is an overseer going to manage the spiritual lives of people, if he can't manage his own household?"
---Rod4Him on 5/30/10


Rod4him-- I guess Jesus being the Way, the Truth, and the Life are good "guidelines" for salvation.
You know I've never said nor implied anything like that.
Salvation is necessaery for eternal life, good parenting is not.
---Donna66 on 5/30/10


Up to a point, a parent is responsible for their children's behavior. Being a good parent is no guarantee for a child's choices. Some kids grow up to serve the Lord, and live happily ever after. Others obey till they live home, and then sow their wild oats for a time and return to scripture. Others just test the waters all throughout childhood. Is that the parents' fault? From my experience, not always, and I have worked with hundreds of children professionally for over 25 years.

Instead of seeking to blame a pastor for something, or gossiping on these blogs, we should be praying for all pastors who faithfully preach the word, AND their families. They are under enormous spiritual attack.
---Trish9863 on 5/30/10


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Rod4Him -- I believe the section of Scripture was giving the qualifications of a pastor. It was given for the benefit of the church to help them find a worthy candidate.
It did not say that having unruly children is a sin. It did not say that a pastor whose children misbehave, should lose his position.
How do you find out if a man's children are always, or always WILL be, under his absolute control?
The last pastor I knew with "pefectly behaved" children is now in prison for incest. No wonder his children never misbehaved. They were terrified of him.
---Donna66 on 5/30/10


Donna, I respect your opinions very much. However, I guess Jesus being the Way, the Truth, and the Life are good "guidelines" for salvation.

I know many "good" people who do not acknowledge Jesus as Lord, so that must prove that the Bible gives "guidelines" for Salvation and living.
I see many very very good religious people of different persausions here in Jerusalem. I guess the Bible gives "guidelines."

I hope I didn't beat that into the ground trying to present a point.
---Rod4Him on 5/29/10


I know that the Bible outlines, in Timothy and Titus, the qualifications of an overseer. It's should be a good guide as to whom the church should call.

But pastors are human and so are their children. We'd have precious few pastors, if their position depended on the behavior of their children.

My pastor, who has great-grandchildren now,
tells of one time which his kids were so bad, and he was so ashamed, he tried to resign from the church. As he says, my kids didn't go with the wrong crowd...they WERE the wrong crowd.
The church would not accept his resignation. They upheld him in prayer. His children are now grown with adult children of their own. All the pastor's children, as well as his grandchildren, now serve the Lord.
---Donna66 on 5/29/10


Interesting, it sounds like most people here must think that Paul in Timothy and Titus was making suggestions on the qualifications of an overseer.
This sounds like nulifying the Word of God for traditions of men.
Maybe the rest of the Bible is just giving good suggestions on Who God is and how we are to live.
What are the "qualifications" in Timothy and Titus there for?
---Rod4Him on 5/29/10


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Church goers bring INTO the church things OF THE WORLD, so even during your church service, there are "things of the world" around you.

Gossip, complaining, talking when you should be quiet, walking when you should be sitting, eating while you should be listening, checking your cell phone when you should be listening, dropping crumbs from the food you are eating and not cleaning up after yourself, walking in after service has begun, leaving early, etc. etc. etc. And these are the examples being shown to the children.

KarenD's answer is basically correct in my opinion.
---Gary on 5/29/10


I met a Bartender/Saloon Owner that had kids that were wicked. Does that mean he should have been a Preacher?
---Elder on 5/29/10


Great question, made me think: If a man raises beef cattle, loves his work and his child becomes a vegetarian, should he never have become a rancher? If a woman is a great teacher and her child does not like school, should she have never become a teacher? Or is it that we hold them to a different standard?
---Cowboy on 5/29/10


All to may PK's have had the dubious distinction of being some of the worst little hellions in Christendom. The adage that the acorn does not fall far from the oak tree, but most of the Live Oaks if have seen were covered with Spanish moss and had a spreading surface root system that nothing any good would grow under. So when you really come to think about it, based upon their track record, there might have been some really good reason for having a celebrant clergy.
---Friendly_Blogger on 5/29/10


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//Why is it that people seem to expect more from their pastors, pastors' wives and pastors' children than they do themselves?//

One reason is because the Bible outlines in Timothy and Titus the qualifications of an overseer. Also, "be not many masters, knowing that you will receive a greater condemnation."

"Pastor's" children are to be under control and are to be believers.

Seems pretty straightforward to me. That's how people know whether the "pastor" is a pastor. Either he is or he isn't. People should be able to look at a man and his family and say to themselves and others, "there is an overseer."
---Rod4Him on 5/29/10


Augie...So if a Christian's children go into the world after they are adults does this mean that you should have never been a Christian? Why is it that people seem to expect more from their pastors, pastors' wives and pastors' children than they do themselves? How about making yourselves as accountable as you make those who are your servants.
---KarenD on 5/29/10


this depends on how they were raised. If the pastor raised them scriptually & they chose to go the worldly way, then he did everything a parent could.If he taught opposite of the bible to his family then maybe he is misusing his calling.
---candice on 5/29/10


Good answer, Trish.

PKs are also held under a stronger magnifier than the average church member uses for other people's children--frequently one's own.
---Cluny on 5/29/10


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No, it means that pastor's kids are just as human as the rest of our kids.
---Trish9863 on 5/29/10


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