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Marry Due To Daughter

I don't know if I love my fiance. I kind of feel trapped because we have a daughter together and a part of me says I should, but a part of my says I shouldn't. I've been growing closer to God, and he isn't. I don't know how it's going to work. Any advice?

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 ---Maria on 8/3/10
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Two wrongs never make a "right". To marry somone that makes you feel, "kind of trapped" is wrong. Your daughter will pay the price for it if you marry him just because you had a daughter with him. She will be more stable in her life being raised by single mom rather than one who feels trapped. I've seen the results of children who's parents felt trapped in their marriage.
---wivv on 8/12/10


Sag: There are many children who grow up fine in spite of their parents never marrying each other. A lot has to do with the parents' attitudes toward each other. I also was in a marriage that was based on my baby I conceived while single. Bad marriage which eventually did end. You do not know how much negative garbage your cousin's daughter was fed by her mother about her father. I have a friend who has children out of wedlock, and they are solid, and secure in how they feel about both of their parents.
---Trish9863 on 8/4/10

Thanks for the input. I know that there are many things that I don't know about. There are many kids who are growing up in this type of situation. We need to reach out and help the kids and their parents.
---Sag on 8/4/10


Deuteronomy 22:28 If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found,

Deuteronomy 22:29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

I mean did God just say stuff to hear his own voice?
---francis on 8/4/10


Sag: There are many children who grow up fine in spite of their parents never marrying each other. A lot has to do with the parents' attitudes toward each other. I also was in a marriage that was based on my baby I conceived while single. Bad marriage which eventually did end. You do not know how much negative garbage your cousin's daughter was fed by her mother about her father. I have a friend who has children out of wedlock, and they are solid, and secure in how they feel about both of their parents.
---Trish9863 on 8/4/10


Marrying just because you have a child together is no way to start a marriage.
---Trish9863 on 8/4/10

You struck some raw nerves in me.

I do think that there needs to be LOVE between the parents in order for a marriage to work. A child is not necessarily a sign of that LOVE.

My own cousin was in this situation. He was afraid to get married because he knew that he didn't love the child's mother. The child was deeply hurt by her own Daddy's reluctance to marry her own Mommy. I still feel bad for the child having parents who didn't create her life out of LOVE. The mother eventually married another man. The child was hurt even more. Such a sad situation with NO good solution.
---Sag on 8/4/10




If you are not sure you love your fiance, then you should not move forward with marriage plans. Are you still having sexual relations? If so, that must stop. If not, praise the Lord.

Marrying just because you have a child together is no way to start a marriage. Pray and seek the Lord for your future with this man.
---Trish9863 on 8/4/10


Maria, my heart goes out to you. I wouldn't want to be in this dilemma so I will lift you up in prayer.

Marrying your fiance doesn't cover up your sin....stay single and repent with remorse for what has happened.

KEEP growing closer to God. God will never leave you nor forsake you and you can have a wonderful relationship with GOD first and foremost. Once that is developed and growing, then maybe your relationship with your fiance will do the same-grow and develop and you may fall madly in love with him and then marry, but stay single for now. Marrying doesn't cover your sin. Please Repent and do what Acts Chapter 2 verse 38 says to do, okay? God Bless You.
---Donna5535 on 8/4/10


Do not get married for a childs sake. One day your child will move out of the house & you'll be stuck with your husband just the 2 of you. If you have doubts now they won't go away just by legally being married.
---candice on 8/4/10


\\And the next thing to do is make an appointment with a Gynecologist and get an IUD \\

IUDs are abortifacient. They do NOT stop conception, but merely stop the zygote from implanting.

Next, you had a big enough burst of friendliness to have a baby.

Finally, what makes you think that YOU are growing closer to God and the father is not? I really doubt you are able to see into other people's hearts.
---Cluny on 8/4/10


You have all ready made one mistake why compound it. You have doubts all ready and they is a 50% chance the marriage will fail any way.

It my be better for you to stay single for a while get closer to God in the interim and see what kind of men you find later in life.

And the next thing to do is make an appointment with a Gynecologist and get an IUD if you had done this several years ago you would not be in this predicament now. If you going to continue to be sexually active at least be responsible enough to prevent future pregencies.
---Friendly_Blogger on 8/4/10




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