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Can I Live With My Boyfriend

I am once again a born again Christian and me and my boyfriend are having a baby. Is it wrong to live together if we are in this situation?

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 ---monroe on 9/9/10
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The prescription God gave to Israel in such a case is that a man and woman that had had carnal knowledge of each other MUST marry Exodus 22:16-17. The earlier you and your man take this marriage step, the better for the 2 of you. To continue living together without marriage(declaration before God and man that you are husband and wife) like you are saying is to continue living in sin.
---Adetunji on 9/15/10


The post below was intended for the "Can a women propose to a men" blog.
My apologies for the mix up.
---Josef on 9/12/10


Di, Consider Ruth, a character in scripture who was highly thought of as a virtuous woman, in essence she proposed to Boaz at the advice of Naomi, her mother in law. Whom said to her "you shall go in, uncover his feet, and lie down." When asked who she was, she said "spread your skirt over your maidservant" [a euphemism for "marry me"], for you are my family redeemer." That proposal worked out very well for her, Boaz, and the "glory of God" :o) See Ruth 3:1-18>4:13 So do not be ashamed to ask, simply be emotionally prepared, for he may say no. If that happens, try not to be too disappointed, it would be no reflection on you, simply a choice on his part, and perhaps, not the Father's choice for you.
---Josef on 9/12/10


The sin has already been committed the best thing to do is live separate until you are married.

Don't sit in ignorance masking what you both did prior to being saved. Getting saved proves nothing for protection against another child and taking f/planning whilst in this predicament, is sinning against yourselves as as well as your temple, the temple of the lord.

Go to a registry office and get married when your both wealthy enough you can plan a blessing, just like a wedding if you so choose, otherwise, part.

living together don't work, you both just get lazy sin more and end up lost.
---Carla on 9/12/10


\\So written evidence of the contract is not always needed
---alan8566_of_uk on 9/10/10\\

I didn't say that all contracts had to be written.

For example, when children stand in the school cafeteria line with money on their tray to pay for their lunch (as we did when i was in school), this was an implied contract.
---Cluny on 9/11/10




davepope,

//Did anyone else give you any real answer to your question? Just condemnation me thinks! //

Me thinks you did not read all the posts.
---aka on 9/11/10


Monroe:

You say you are a born again Christian "again". What does that mean? It sounds that you are an on-again/off-again Christian, which is nothing more than a non-committal, double-minded individual.


Plenty of people claim to have knowledge of Christ and Christianity, but their deeds produce fruits of a dubious nature. Scripture teaches us that you can tell a tree by the fruit it bears: you seem to be making one mistake right after the other.

Getting married will do nothing for you. Your relationship has been nothing but dishonorable from the beginning and you will not win any votes from The Almighty by throwing on a white gown and making promises that you don't intend to keep.
---Higgins on 9/11/10


Davepope, Yes, indeed, the Scriptures say that all things are permissible, but, not all is profitable. And, that which you just recommended is not at all profitable. The legal Marriage Certificate is a tangible witness to the rest of the World, that before the Eyes of GOD and mankind, the man and woman are legitimately married and in union together. GOD set up the civil authorities, as per ROMANS 13, and as Christians, we are to OBEY said authorities under the Witness of GOD Himself.
---Gordon on 9/11/10


Cluny ... The Contract exists immediately it is agree upon. Usually, signified by the shaking of hands.

In what used to be an honourable profession of insurance, I covered the risk from the hand-shake, and if the place burnt down two minutes later, I would pay the claim.

And still today, debts (say for rents) can be enforced in the courts, even if there is no written lease.

So written evidence of the contract is not always needed
---alan8566_of_uk on 9/10/10


Some oral contracts are also enforceable when sealed with a handshake, which is often called a Gentlemans Agreement. For example, a court upheld a handshake agreement in 1987 between Pennzoil and

Getty Oil after Pennzoils attorney shook hands with an executive officer of Getty Oil over a written contract that was never signed. The court found that an oral agreement had been made, and the damages exceeded 10 billion dollars.

associatedcontent dot com
---aka on 9/10/10




\\Back IN the day a hand shake was as good as law.\\

I'm not too sure what you mean by that.

Merely shaking hands has no validity in a court of law, nor has it ever.

Certain transactions or contracts have always required a written document.
---Cluny on 9/10/10


Did anyone else give you any real answer to your question? Just condemnation me thinks! As a bible believing person what does the spirit say to you about your question? Do you really think that the governments paper makes you legit before god. I have always believed this is a heart issue. Funny just likenyour relationship to the father (Jesus). I do not need a marriage licsence to marry Jesus ( figureatively speaking) lol Commitment based on love not law? Back IN the day a hand shake was as good as law. If u r good buy it before god then ok but if the spirit is all over u. Better think twice.
Paul says all things are permissable but not all are profitable.
---Davepope on 9/10/10


\\2: It is NOT Mmy law it is the Law of God
---francis on 9/10/10\\

Well, you admit you don't know how to apply the law of God in this case.

Why should we believe your application of the law of God in any other case?
---Cluny on 9/10/10


Well, you'd better figure it out quickly.

Otherwise, the father of the baby will be in danger of not obeying the Bible.
--Cluny on 9/10/10

1: It is NOT my baby
2: It is NOT Mmy law it is the Law of God
---francis on 9/10/10


\\francis, how much should this 50 shekel bride-price be computed in modern currency?
-Cluny on 9/9/10

I don't know.
---francis on 9/10/1\\

Well, you'd better figure it out quickly.

Otherwise, the father of the baby will be in danger of not obeying the Bible.

At least in your eyes.

Nevertheless, thank you for having the courage and honesty to admit your ignorance.
---Cluny on 9/10/10


francis, how much should this 50 shekel bride-price be computed in modern currency?
-Cluny on 9/9/10

I don't know.
---francis on 9/10/10


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monroe, I'm going to be very frank.

How is fornication improved by adding living in concubinage to it?

And how go you get born-again again?
---Cluny on 9/10/10


Hi, my husband and I lived together before we got married, although we don't have a child together, and the peace we've experienced since we married in the eyes of God and the state has just been such a relief! Sweet relief as we both knew we were living in sin and it's such a blessing to be right in the eyes of God! Get married if you can honey--and congratulations on the baby, regardless of the situation. :)
---Mary on 9/10/10


Yes, the above living situation is wrong. It would be best and wise to stop living together, and arrange for yourselves to have a real wedding and a real marriage. Keep the baby, (or at least give him/her up for adoption if necessary).
---Gordon on 9/10/10


state's recognition of your "marriage" does not supersede God's. Commitment, a condition of the heart, must precede any ceremony. If commitment was paramount, the divorce rate would be almost non-existent especially in the "christian" arena. and, that is exactly what man made religion's marriage is...an arena. It is a place of sport and competition. did God put Adam and Eve together? was the a ceremony? if adam and eve were committed in heart, would they have betrayed each other?

It is unfortunate that you took God's creation out of order. You put yourself first before commitment. however, that will not necessarily be satisfied by "getting married" and neither will living together unless you commit.
---aka on 9/10/10


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If its true you are born again then you must act like one. The Bible says our lives are not to give even the appearance of sin. By living with your boyfriend you are doing just that. It's not a good witness. 2 wrongs don't make a right. You already made one mistake / sin in having a baby before being married. Please don't make another one (sin) by living together until you are married. I believe both of you could use some Christian counseling and guidance. Also, find mature Christians that can hold and keep you both accountable. Do all you can now to turn from sin and the world system and turn instead to God and his kingdom. Now that you have recomitted your life to Christ leave your old nature and life behind and pursue a new life in Christ.
---Frank on 9/10/10


You need to do what I need to do. I need to pray for you and trust you to God. God knows you. Do what He has you do. Start doing what your baby needs you to do. Be a good example, now, for your baby. How you are can spread to make your baby the same way. How you relate with your boyfriend can spread to make your baby see and discover how to love, or your ways can destroy your child so he or she does not know how to love. Our ways are like genes: they can pass on to our kids and then recombine to make a unique person, but the ways of love and honesty will make a loving and honest person of Jesus. Why find out what the ways of immorality and selfishness and unforgiveness will have your child become?!
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/10/10


monroe,

Repent and put all your faith and hope in Jesus Christ.

You two have a baby together. You are married. Commit yourselves to each other and then as one, commit yourself as one to your child. Raise that baby together.

If you truly seek Him, everything will be straightened out in time.

(P.S. If you have fifty shekels, save them for an unbearably religious day like this one.)
---aka on 9/9/10


\\Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
---francis on 9/9/10\\

francis, how much should this 50 shekel bride-price be computed in modern currency?

Should 50 American dollars be the equivalent?

Should it be $14, as this is how much 50 new Israeli sheqlim are at current rate of exchange?

Or should it be $400 based on the current price of silver and how much an ancient shekel weighed?

You were asked this question once before and refused to answer it.

(I'll leave aside the obvious question of how many times can a person be born again.)
---Cluny on 9/9/10


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once again a born again christian?

does this mean you were "born again" then became something else and were reborn?

although born again is a grossly misused term by the worlds christianity whatever it means to you is separate from Holy Scripture

TRUE christians do not have labels or some such thing that makes them "christian" however by disobeying all you do is give lip service to an idea about a Christ

the world does not honor marriage which is why so many hook up and have children outside of marriage and why gays mock sacred marriage of a man a women

The bigger question is why are you NOT getting married YET claiming christianity?
---Rhonda on 9/9/10


I empathize with your situation. 35 years ago, I was 18, pregnant and single. My boyfriend was still in high school. We got married and had a very difficult marriage due to a lot of reasons, and eventually broke up.

Do not move in together unless you are married. Do not get married unless that was your original plan in the first place. Have your baby and stay celibate from your boyfriend. If you and he can support your baby, then keep it, and raise it as a single mother, with child support from him. If you cannot support the child, then look into adoption.
---Trish9863 on 9/9/10


Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
You are already one flesh in God's eyes.
Why not make it legal in man's eyes?
Is he a follower of Christ?..if not:
1Cor 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
2Cor 6:14a Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers...
But I guess these verses are late.
---micha9344 on 9/9/10


I am once again a born again Christian and me and my boyfriend are having a baby. Is it wrong to live together if we are in this situation?

Deuteronomy 22:28 If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found,

Deuteronomy 22:29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
---francis on 9/9/10


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Yes, it is wrong.

My personal recommendations would be for you and your boyfriend to "live apart" separately and/or give the baby up for adoption. That should allow both of you to see "things" more clearly. Ask yourself the following questions:

"Are we both doing what is BEST for our own baby?"

"Can we adequate PROVIDE what our baby needs?"

"Why do we want to live together?"

"Is our relationship headed towards MARRIAGE"

Living together, without MARRIAGE, may be "popular" today. However, that doesn't make it "right". I think that you might benefit from seeking out a Pastor who can better explain things here.
---Augie on 9/9/10


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