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Husband Using Dating Sites

Married for almost a year. Recently got saved. Husband is not saved but says he is. Said he wanted a divorce and has been using dating sites and social networks. He's been talking to women on the phone. Should I divorce him for unfaithfulness?

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 ---Kinesha on 9/17/10
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---catherine on 11/8/10

I am a man. 39 years old. I can tell you by those actions that he is definitely not ready to be married. He probably doesn't realize what Love,Honor and Devotion are or that love is the combination of actions towards what you "love".He was probably infatuated with you and now a couple years later the newness wore off then reality set in. He realizes that you are unhappy with his lack of maturity and is now looking for someone else to long for him so that he can fill his ego by being admired,wanted,and needed again.If you believe in God. Then I guess what Jesus said about commiting the act in his heart is definitely good enough to leave. I would. What yall had will never be "true" in both your hearts again.
---Patrick on 11/8/10

No, you should not. You only recently turned your life over to God and it's not surprising your husband hasn't made it that far yet. However, he now states he wants your marriage to work.

Forgive him and, like Robyn said, realize you are also complicit in that you made a lifelong commitment to love a man you barely knew.

Still, your marriage is salvageable and it is right to try to do so. Pray, keep kind thoughts and kind words between you, seek counseling and keep growing in your faith. Your husband may not be saved now, but if you offer him your best example of a Christian wife and both of you seek wisdom regarding marriage in scripture, God can turn you, your husband and your marriage around.
---AlwaysOn on 11/7/10

Kinesha,Kinesha,Kinesha. When will women learn they are not all that. You only knew this rogue one month! For Gods sake! Why are women so desperate? He took you for the fool that you were. You brought this on yourself. Also baptism saves no one. This man need to be truly born again. You should have brought all of this up before marrying him. You have a lot to learn about relationships. Until then you will find yourself in these type pitiful unions. The question: should you divorce him for unfaithfulness? No--he should divorce you for being so blind and desperate. I'm sorry. You did it to yourself,hon.
---Robyn on 11/7/10

My initial post wasn't clear. He now says he wants this to work. He used the sites when he thought we were divorcing. He has deleted the sites, but he still has one social site where people also use to date. He recently signed onto it. So I believe now I have biblical grounds for divorce. Not only that. He does not provide for me. He wants me to take care of him since I have more education. He lives with his verbally abusive mom who is also racist. I have a lot to deal with. I have prayed repeatedly, but I am tired of being mistreated and used.
---Kinesha on 9/25/10

Please let your husband know that baptism does NOT bring salvation. He is going to Hell if he were to die today. The ONLY thing that leads to salvation is repentance (confessing and turning away from sin) 1 John 1:9, and accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord (boss) Romans 10:9-10. Please share this with Him, and also get the devotional book "The Love Dare" for him and you. These two things (true salvation, and the devotional) will hopefully help your marriage and you both individually get on the right track Biblically.
---Leslie on 9/20/10

The rest of the story is that this is not YOUR first marriage!
---KarenD on 9/19/10

this marriage was a journey into they unknown with a man you hardly knew.hope there are no children involed..smoking marijauna and infedilty..NO way leave is dangerous grounds you are walking on..COR.7,13-16 do not flirt with danger or your life and children if you have them.
---ciecie46 on 9/19/10

Thanks for the replies. He has erased some of the dating profiles...slowly. I discovered one today where he has his cell number on the profile heading. I'm extremely disgusted. I believe he isn't saved because he smokes marijuana, curses, doesn't go to church, rarely prays, rarely read the bible, and has treated me horribly. He feels he's saved because he got baptized 5 years ago. I knew him 1 month before marrying him. I want to please God, but don't want to be cheated on.
---Kinesha on 9/18/10

God hates divorce, but if your husband is unfaithful to you, and is not willing to repent, then you have a scriptural reason for divorce.

1Co7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Mt19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
---trey on 9/18/10

Have you tried talking to him about the marriage, to find out why he is using these sites? First order of business in God's plan, get counselling from a christian counsellor and try to save your marriage. God gives allowances for divorce, but, does not command divorce. Restoration is first priority, then if all fails, divorce. You say you've been married 1 year, the first 5 are the hardest in any marriage according to studies, so you need to decide is it worth doing what God wants, or are you just going to give up and do it your way?
---tommy3007 on 9/18/10

The Bible says that unfaithfulness is grounds for divorce, and it also says not to be unequally yoked together to unbelievers. That would be two reasons to divorce him.
---Leslie on 9/17/10

To the rest I say I, not the Lord if a brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is happy to live with him, he should not divorce her.And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is happy to live with her, she should not divorce him.

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified because of the wife, and the unbelieving wife because of her husband. Otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.But if the unbeliever wants a divorce, let it take place. In these circumstances the brother or sister is not bound. God has called you in peace.For how do you know, wife, whether you will bring your husband to salvation? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will bring your wife to salvation?
---Royal on 9/17/10

Should you divorce him? Things can change. You two are unique people, and your relationship is unique. So, we pray you get with God, more, so you enjoy His presence and how He leads you, creatingly in love. You will be surprised at the good He will have for you. But what will your husband do? Mmm . . . ah . . . er . . . he could do something else. That would be tragic for him, though he can repent, at any time. So, haven't you gotten to know him, more or less? Love him as he is, by giving and saying the good things you can. You do not need to try to compete with what cheating type women can tempt him with, since what they have has nothing to do with love. God bless you!
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/17/10

Kinesha, you claim your husband is not saved.

Why is it that what you KNOW to be your own sins means that you are still saved, but what you merely THINK are your husband's sins means he is not (leaving aside his playing on line)?
---Cluny on 9/17/10

He has already commited adultry in his heart even if he hasn't physically done so. Question is this would he countinue looking at dating sites or other unnessesary sites if remained married? I'm not for divorce however it is better to let him go now instead of paying for it later.
---candice on 9/17/10

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