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Not Right For Each Other Divorce

Is it acceptable for a woman to leave her marriage if she simply feels they are not "right" for each other?

Moderator - If the woman isn't a Christian, then yes that is an option. However, if the woman is a Christian of course that isn't an acceptable reason for a divorce. Take the Bible Quiz.

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 ---Trevor on 9/24/10
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Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
1Cor 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save [thy] husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save [thy] wife?
Heb 12:3-4 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.
---micha9344 on 7/24/11


I would say no. You need valid grounds for divorce. Adultery is one and any ongoing extreme physical abuse would be another.

Everything and anything should be tried first before seriously contemplating a divorce.

Why would anyone get married to end up divorced? This should only be as a last resort in extreme circumstances that are not fixable.
---poopsey on 7/24/11


Can an unbeliever divorce a non-believer (alcoholic) and remarry someone else who's a believer. I feel my husband is blocking my blessings, and keeping me away from God. We have a child together and I want to raise him in a christian home. Tell me what God would say, not what the world would say, I don't want to go to hell for wrong answers, please, thanks!
---Betty on 7/23/11


Well, the divorce rate is too high. They leave each other over nothing. "I just don't like you, anymore".
---catherine on 10/5/10


So then does this mean my husband now is not my husband at all? I was married before, my 1st husband cheated.

Should I believe my second marriage is actually adultery and not valid in God's eyes?
---Joy1 on 10/5/10


Here is what the Bible teaches:

YES, your Second marriage IS valid in GOD's eyes. Why? Because your First husband cheated on you. Adultery ends a marriage and is grounds for divorce.

I believe that ALL people should strive for GOD's plan for the family: ONE man, and ONE wife, for LIFE.

GOD understands that we live in a sinful, fallen, world where HIS ideal plan for the family isn't always workable. That is "why" GOD PERMITS remarriage.
---Sag on 10/5/10




So then does this mean my husband now is not my husband at all? I was married before, my 1st husband cheated or commited adultery and used drugs.I am now married to second husband after years of separation and finally divorce. Should I believe my second marriage is actually adultery and not valid in God's eyes?
---Joy1 on 10/5/10


What do you mean, "Not right for each other?" Make three columns on a piece of paper. In the first column write down all the the things that were "right" when you got married. Than in the next column write down what has changed to make you feel you aren't right for each other. In the third columna, write down what can be done to make things, "right". Have your husband do the same thing. Then, get a period of time where you can talk without being interrupted, (for example: take the phone off the hook or let the answering take care of the calls, also turn of the cell phones. Along with that, I would suggest going to a licensed marriage counselor.
---wivv on 9/28/10


Augie ... I was not referring to the US law.
---alan8566_of_uk on 9/27/10


I think you will find that a man who is divorced from his wife because of her adultery is permitted to marry again.

Whereas a woman divorced from her husband because of his adultery is not permitted to remarry
---alan8566_of_uk on 9/26/10


In the USA, you have Men, and Women, remarrying for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, ... time. From talking with some of these folks, I don't think that some should even think about marrying again.

You are probably CORRECT in what the Bible says about people marrying again.

I just believe that the Bible instructs divorced people -- myself included -- to remain single and focus on GOD.

Remarriage is a "mixed bag" as the USA's divorce-and-remarriage statistics show.
---Augie on 9/26/10


The standard for re-marriage as far as I can Gather is that it was because of the hardness of the heart of man that caused him to want to re-marry for any reason.

Christ re-addressed that confusion and stated that a man can take another wife if the first Wife had sexual relations with another, causing her to be called an adulterer.

There's no such clause for a woman to re-marry because she is covered by Christ, If God can look after Hagar why should he not look after the woman who chooses to stay single as unto her Lord, saviour Father and Friend Jesus Christ.

It takes faith, the rewards are irreplaceable, both spiritually and physically in the Lord. God will never leave you or forsake you even to the end of the world.
---Carla on 9/26/10




But Augie ...
I think you will find that a man who is divorced from his wife because of her adultery is permitted to marry again.

Whereas a woman divorced from her husband because of his adultery is not permitted to remarry
---alan8566_of_uk on 9/26/10


Yes Donna ... Paul said that about the woman. And she has to remain single, even if the husband has betrayed her by being unfaithful & committing adultery.

I wonder why there is a different rule for the man, who Paul would allow to remarry if his wife committed adultery.
---alan8566_of_uk on 9/24/10


I don't believe that there is a different rule, or standard, for either Men or Women. I believe that the following Bible verses apply to BOTH of the sexes:

Exodus 20:14 "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery".

Matthew 5:32 "...Whoever Marries A Divorced Woman Commits Adultery".

GOD's rules for marriage are what's written in the Bible.


---Augie on 9/26/10


"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife." (1 Corinthians 7:9-10)

This means how God's love will make this work, not how we may "try" and fail. But there are ways the "faithful" spouse can make it *tempting* for the other to be a cheater. And . . . I would say not to try to compete with what is attracting the cheater to a person who would help the cheater betray a marriage. That's not "likely" to be a Christian who is doing that. Charm and smooth talking and attention are no substitute for God's love.
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/25/10


I don't believe that Paul would allow for the man to remarry...I don't see that there is a double standard in the bible. God wants to hold us all to the same high standard for His love.
Kristin, I'm sorry you feel that way, but you need to take a look at yourself more deeply. While you may feel you rushed into the marriage that doesn't mean it can't be beautiful and fulfilling. You loved something about him or you wouldn't have gone through with it. Try to focus on what has worked and let God complete your lack of self-esteem. Nothing your husband (or another man) can do will solve your problems.
---Trevor on 9/25/10


Yes Donna ... Paul said that about the woman. And she has to remain single, even if the husband has betrayed her by being unfaithful & committing adultery.

I wonder why there is a different rule for the man, who Paul would allow to remarry if his wife committed adultery.
---alan8566_of_uk on 9/24/10


Could you please put the verse to this on here . My wife wants to leave me because of that reason. We have been together for 10 yrs, married 7. We also have 3 young girls. She is a devout Christian and says that we were never right for each other. She also will not listen to anything I say. I try to tell her that God hates divorce and I pray everyday to get her to fall back in love with me in the lords name. She already has her next man she wants to marry. The thing is the mans name is David and she believes that God tells her its ok because she hears and sees that name in the Bible and on Christian television. What do I do?
---Brian on 9/24/10


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I doubt that my wife is planning on remaining single considering she has been spending hours everyday talking with another man. She is a Christian, but through a few of our conversations she doesn't seem to be taking some of the passages regarding divorce literally. She seems to be justifying what she is doing but it doesn't add up to me.
---Trevor on 9/24/10


It's not biblical, but how is this sin any different from all other sins? I am struggling with the same thing. There is no intimacy, I have no desire for my husband and I don't love him any more than a friend. I know this sounds harsh, but I have kept these thoughts in for way too long. I will admit it, I married out of desperation. My parents just passed away and I made myself fall in love with the next person that swept me off my feet. I have always had low self esteem and depended on other people...and now.....I am miserable inside and have not been happy for years. I love God, my heart crys out to God all the time. Any way you look at it, the solution is not good!
---Kristin on 9/24/10


I agree with the Moderator.

You really need to read the bible. Paul the Apostle said, "if she does leave her husband, she is to remain single."

Are you prepared to remain single?

I did...I am divorced since 2001. I have no desire to date or remarry. I am in love with Jesus and God and Holy Spirit...they are the lover of my soul....are you prepared to be alone for the rest of your life? That's what the Apostle Paul said a woman should do....remain single.
---Donna5535 on 9/24/10


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