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Husband's Chatting With Women

My husband is chatting with women and he make excuses that it's OK--he has chat lines and emails written to them for months he lies and hide it or he will excuse it. He is having emotional affairs what to do?

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 ---Sarah on 10/27/10
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Tell him you will not tolerate this. It is infidelity and you cannot just stand by and do nothing. Read "Love must be tough" by Dr James Dobson. It will help you see the folly of your husband's ways. Do not tolerate any infidelity of any sort! Dont let him get away with anything! Go with your gutfeel... it's a Godgiven gift. He is disrespecting you.
---Deirdre on 1/2/11


It is never ok for a married man or woman to entertain other people like that. Email and chat lines are very divisive and evil. So are cell phones and other tech......... You have to know how to use them for the right reasons. Affairs always start emotionally. They become physical, over time. Not always, but most times. But if it were me. I would give him a warning first. If he is caught again I would let him know, in no uncertain terms, that I will not be accepting this kind of treatment, from him. And be willing and able to back it up. I won't play split the fence with him. No way. That's just me. I am serious-minded and give much. I expect the same in return.Your husband is testing you to see how far you will let him go. Yank the collar!
---Robyn on 1/1/11


Francis ... Sorry, but "chat lines and emails written to them for months" are not innocent, particulary if hidden from his wife.
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/1/10
If you do not know what is in the email how do you know that they are not inocent?
---francis on 11/1/10


Francis ... Sorry, but "chat lines and emails written to them for months" are not innocent, particulary if hidden from his wife.
---alan8566_of_uk on 11/1/10


Before your hiusband met you, he spoke to other women, should he now limit his conversation to you, and you only as a female?
---francis on 11/1/10




Sarah, You have my empathy. I don't know what kind of abuse your suffering, there are many kinds. And no, It's not that easy to just leave. For those that have never been in a situation like your's, they can't possibly understand. All their fine words ain't worth nothin. When is enough enough? It chalenges your faith to the limit. I am struggling much myself with an overbearing, controling, manipulative, bla bla bla ....person. My wife is totally disabled, so leaving is not just that easy. I remind myself often of what king David and Abraham and Joseph went through before they saw their prayers answered. Hang in there. God has a plan.
---david on 10/30/10


Sarah: If counseling is not an option for the two of you, then go alone. There, you will find out what is holding you back from leaving someone who is abusive and cheating on you.
---Trish on 10/28/10


I confronted him with this and he is a Christian too- his hand was caught in the cookie jar and he keeps giving me a fake repentance- and I just walked in on him and found him hiding again in the room hours at a time---on the computer--Sarah is only my name on this---we been to much counseling--I been through so much abuse from him and people tell me to leave it's not that easy
---Sarah on 10/28/10


Sarah, you need to get you and him into marriage counselling IMMEDIATELY.

If he refuses to go, then you may want to separate yourself from him and move out.

Did you ask him WHY he's doing this? Did you ask him why he's so filled with lust that he has to seek out other women to fill his fantasy lusts?

Sarah, I would pray and ask the Lord to give you guidance on what to do. We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against spirits and principalities and it sounds like a spirit of lust has gotten a hold of your husband - bind that thing up and then cast it out of him. PRAY TO GOD, pour out your heart to God.
---Donna5535 on 10/28/10


Matthew 18:15-20 > Jesus clearly tells a Christian to first talk alone with a person about what is wrong. Then take someone else to talk with him. Then take him before the church leadership, if he continues. Do you know this? Are you in a Christian church that has told you this and obeys this?? Or, are you not a Christian???

If you are not a Christian, you need to trust in Jesus for salvation and how Jesus can have you discovering how to love any and all people, no matter what people do, including your husband betraying trust and love, by lying to you. He is in major trouble, not knowing how to love. Get with real Jesus people so you can together help him.
---Bill on 10/28/10




I am personally comming out of an "emotional affair" myself. I was totally unprepared for what happened. My marriage is sorely lacking and this lady gave me what I was not getting from my wife, she spoke my love language. Fortunately we both are commited christians and things went no farther than talking. There are many good books that can help, I have and am reading them myself. Get your husbands heart back and he will have no need for another. Focus on the Family has these books, two good ones to start with are "Love & Respect" and "The Five Love Languages"
---david on 10/28/10


"He shouldn't be doing this", thus saith the Lord thy God. Don't you just love it. Your husband is having an affair. That's it. Ahhh.
---catherine on 10/27/10


Name_Withheld, is right..I say tell him to shape up, or ship out, Plain and Simple!!!
---a_friend on 10/27/10


I suggest you two get into marital therapy and find out what is going on in your marriage. Ask the therapist to evaluate both of you, and ask if either of you should be in individual therapy in addition to marital therapy.

Most importantly, pray.
---Trish on 10/27/10


I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I found out my wife had an "emotional affair" with another woman on her death bed! I don't think you should just stand by and let him lie to you and sneak around behind your back like this. He needs to be confronted and you should insist on counseling. If he is doing this now, you can well expect that it may only be a matter of time before it becomes physical with somebody.

Matthew 5:28, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
---Name_Withheld on 10/27/10


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