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Divorce Lazy Atheist Husband

I know divorcing my atheist husband is sin, but is separation? I was barely a Christian when we married. Now I fully support him, he won't work while I work two jobs and am in college. He's disrespectful and occasionally violent. My marriage is miserable and the stress is causing health problems.

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 ---Dani_Della on 11/8/10
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Divorcing your atheist husband is not a sin per se.

Remarriage afterwards might well be.

I would be curious, however, to hear his side of the story.

One thing I've noticed about these blogs.

Quite a few women post here to complain about how horrible their husbands are.

Not very, many men post here to complain about their wives.

Why is that?
---Cluny on 12/17/10


Dani_Della: I am concerned about you and your outright disobedience to God. If you were a Christian, why did you marry an atheist? My heart goes out to you. You fell for his(atheist,devil) tricks and lies and now you are paying a heavy price. What does light(christian) and darkness(atheist) have in common? You should have never gone into this type marriage! The man hate your loving Father in Heaven! Think about it,lady! We need to stop doing these type things! You would have been better off, to stay single. This man do not fear God. He may do anything to you! You can separate. But seek the Lord on this,too. GBU
---Robyn on 12/13/10


Darline, I completely agree with you. I followed the statements and I agree with you ever so much. A person does not have to divorce to throw someone out. What is hard is for a woman to throw him out in the first place. Most are very fearful of their husbands. Some do it when the right time comes. Others, just do it. When a man is abusive, they can say they will never do it again and just be lying. They need a change of heart and it does not happen in a moment, sometimes not even in a few months. And many times never. In my case, I prayed for God to change my wife, but before that could happen, He had to change me first. We pray because we trust that the end result is the will of God. Sometimes what is best is for a couple to separate.
---Mark_V. on 11/22/10


Dani I am glad for you everything is in your name,he really didn't deservre any of it since he didn't contribute,thanks for letting us know. I think you are wise for leaving. You will find there are Christians who will understand and be kind to you. I will be praying for you as you put your new life together. May God bring you happiness and your future be much brighter than your present. God be wih you. Draw on the Lord for strength and help. The Bible says God is made strong in our weakness,he loves you. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 11/22/10


Thanks for all the encouraging words. I am pursuing a separation, and am glad to know that there is Christian support out there. (And just an FYI for those of you in debate, the cars and house are all in my name, his credit is so terrible that I would not qualify for anything if we had applied to loans/mortgages together).
---Dani_Della on 11/21/10




Cluny,Jesus,was a human,not wanting to suffer the torment which lay ahead. He cried out to his parent as children do. Matthew 26:38,39,42,44 His feelings, My soul is exceeding sorrowful even unto death,-. He prayed 3 times, First,Oh my Father,if it be possible let this cup pass from me,nevertheless,not as I will,but as you will. Second and third,Oh my Father if this cup may not pass away from me,except I drink it,your will be done. This wasn't a lack of faith but a child asking isn't there another way,then accepting his fate in obedience. He prayed God's will,there was no intercesor between him and God. We don't have to pray that way Jesus is our intercessor and only sends prayers through which are God's will Romans 8:27 & Romans 8:34.
---Darlene_1 on 11/16/10


\\I am Pentecostal and I never heard that in any of the churches I attended.\\

You'll hear it a lot on here. There are even threads dedicated to this issue.

\\And "all things",whatsoever you shall ask in prayer,believing you shall receive. John 15:7\\

Did Jesus have faith when He asked for the cup of suffering to pass Him by?

Or did the words, "If it be Your will" show lack of faith? (I've heard this preached from Pentecostal pulpits, btw.)
---Cluny on 11/15/10


Cluny I'm very glad you don't believe in the Jezebel Spirit. I thought all right,not the way you expected probably,but that you had been taken in by that too. I am Pentecostal and I never heard that in any of the churches I attended. This is one thing I base praying on, Matthew 21:21,22 --,if you have faith and doubt not,you shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree,but also if you shall say unto this mountain,Be thou removed and be thou cast into the sea,it shall be done. And "all things",whatsoever you shall ask in prayer,believing you shall receive. John 15:7 If you abide in me,and my words abide in you,you shall ask what you will,and it shall be done unto you. Blessings
---Darlene_1 on 11/15/10


\\As for the so called Jezebel Spirit,I know it was a dig at me,I don't belive in it anyway so it doesn't matter.\\

Nor do I.

It's a fundagelicostal superstition.

But I WAS trying to get you to think.

The purpose of prayer is to get in touch with God's will and move with it, not to get our own will done.
---Cluny on 11/15/10


Cluny I'm sorry you don't see the difference in manipulation and standing in faith,trust,and hope in God's help through prayer. I urge Dani and all who need to get out of a bad situation to remember God is always near and don't let anyone discourage you,ever,from standing steady in prayer. As for the so called Jezebel Spirit,I know it was a dig at me,I don't belive in it anyway so it doesn't matter. I've read Jazebel and no where have I seen in the Bible her type of Spirit is given to other people. That's just more of the current times churchy mumbo jumbo made up by man to label people. I've concluded the less I clutter my mind with man's practices of religion,making it a point to adhere only to the Word of God,the better off I am. Blessings
---Darlene_1 on 11/15/10




BTW, Darlene, I forgot to mention that a woman thinking she can manipulate her husband's free will by her prayers and get what she wants is a sign that woman has a Jezebel spirit.
---Cluny on 11/12/10


Cluny that those verses have nothing to do with free will is only your opinion and you are welcome to it. As for me I shall always follow God's Word with the hope I can have the simple childlike faith that sees nothing in this world as impossible for God. One who prays diligently in faith believing God will and does move on behalf of his children. Faith never faltering no matter how God answers still trusting His wisdom and love. Knowing faith overcomes the threats and obstacles in life holding on to the fact God moves for his people over the sinners in the world. I also pray I never say anything which will undermine another Christians faith in God answering prayer. Blessings
---Darlene_1 on 11/12/10


\\,not saying your Father was an unbeliever\\

He wasn't. He was in fact a deeper believer than my mother was.

In any case, the verses you are quoting have NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with God not violating our free will.
---Cluny on 11/12/10


Cluny,the guards will wouldn't be to sleep while the prisoner they were responsible for guarding esxaped. A guard in that circumstances would have wanted to wake up so they could do their job and not get in trouble themselves for letting someone escape. God did answer prayer against a sinners will. In the case of your Father,I don't know why God didn't answer your dear Mother but I do know this. If a Christian wife prays for an unbelieving husband not to leave,not saying your Father was an unbeliever,God won't answer that prayer because to do so is to go against His own Word. He says to let the unbeliever leave. God will never answer prayers contrary to his Word.
---Darlene_1 on 11/12/10


\\PS,Cluny,I'm very sorry for your pain of not having your Father come back. I know it must have been very heartbreaking because I can see it still bothers you and it is an awful thing to happen to a child. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 11/11/10\\

Just shows that what you say about a woman praying to overcome her husband's will is simply not true, that's all.

And notice that God allowed the guards to continue to sleep. He did NOT awaken them, thus affirming their free will.
---Cluny on 11/11/10


PS,Cluny,I'm very sorry for your pain of not having your Father come back. I know it must have been very heartbreaking because I can see it still bothers you and it is an awful thing to happen to a child. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 11/11/10


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Darlene, not a single verse you quoted has to do with God not violating anybody's free will.

Would you like to try again?
---Cluny on 11/11/10


Cluny,Bible on prayer and free will. Acts 12:5,6,7,8,9,10 Peter therefore was kept in prison,but prayer was made without ceasing of the church unto God for him. 6.shows he was bound with two chains and sleeping between two soldiers with a keeper at the door. 7.shows the Angel of the Lord woke him,the chains fell off. 8.Angel tells him to follow "me". 9.Angel went out and Peter followed. 10.Angel led him and when they came to the gate it opened on its own accord. None of what happened for Peter was the will of the guards but God overcame their wills by answering the prayers of the people for Peter. God doesn't recognize anything about sinners,except their need to repent of sin, and doesn't give a hoot about their free will.
---Darlene_1 on 11/11/10


\\A praying Christian wife against an atheist,sometimes violent,disrespectful,abuser,and lazy bum meaning unemployed and/or begging,he hasn't got a chance.\\

Prayer never did bring MY father back.

Sorry, but God will NOT violate anybody's free will.
---Cluny on 11/11/10


Cluny,Bible verses may not remove his name from anything but prayer can remove him. A praying Christian wife against an atheist,sometimes violent,disrespectful,abuser,and lazy bum meaning unemployed and/or begging,he hasn't got a chance. No matter what things look like God is on the side of his people,he will direct their path and the outcome of anything they pray about for his help. I have seen it happen time and time again where God intervened when it looked like all things were against his child but those arrows of adversity didn't have any points and fell away without any harm. Faith still moves mountains and prayer still moves God.
---Darlene_1 on 11/10/10


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\\Cluny,I gave Bible verses to show why he has no right to stay,"if a man won't work he shouldn't eat".\\

Bible verses won't remove his name from the lease or title deed of his residence, nor will they avail in a court of law.
---Cluny on 11/10/10


Cluny,I gave Bible verses to show why he has no right to stay,"if a man won't work he shouldn't eat". If he shouldn't eat without work it follows he shouldn't live where he hasn't worked. Lets say he is on the lease so he stays and she goes,he won,he won a house with no lights,water,food,heat,and the rent doesn't get paid,since she makes all the living he has nothing but he got to stay,just not for long. Everyone reaps what they sow,thats one of God's lessons.
---Darlene_1 on 11/10/10


\\The wife makes all the living therefore in no way does that husband have a right to stay,its not his house too,and her have to leave,no\\

If his name is on the title deed or lease, then it's his house, and he has a right to stay there.
---Cluny on 11/9/10


Cluny sorry but you missed this one. The wife makes all the living therefore in no way does that husband have a right to stay,its not his house too,and her have to leave,no. Remember the Bible says,2 Thessaloiansif 3:10,11,12 For even when we were with you,this we command you,if any would not work,neither should he eat. For we hear there are some who walk among you disorderly,working not at all,but are busybodies. Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ,that with quietness they work,and eat their own bread. So you see,a man doesn't work he shouldn't even be allowed to eat,seems that covers the house too and anything else he hasn't contributed to.
---Darlene_1 on 11/9/10


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\\I can't say divorce but do put him out and change the locks on the doors so he can't get back in.\\

It's his house, too.

If the poster chooses not to live with her husband in his house and home, SHE should leave.
---Cluny on 11/9/10


GET OUT, GET OUT, Get out. RUN, run, run. Ah, Jesus+ Thank You for all of my gifts and blessing, especially the spiritual ones. Ah.
---catherine on 11/9/10


I can't say divorce but do put him out and change the locks on the doors so he can't get back in. Pharisee is right you must not stay with a violent man,many have finally killed the women they have abused for years. If you have children you must protect those children. Yes being exposed to constant abuse whether physical or verbal does cause physical health problems. Don't even worry about geting back with him,take one day at a time to let yourself heal and find out what its like to live a normal life. Grow closer to God and he will direct the final outcome of the relationship. Warning,never take a man back because he says he will change or has changed,wait until he's had a long time and shows change over an extended period of time.
---Darlene_1 on 11/9/10


If your husband is physically violent, get out now. Take any children with you. Your safety is paramount. Seek legal advice as to your options concerning marital property. Pray for wisdom and guidance concerning any decisions you have to make.

Seek a woman at church to disciple/mento you in your relationship with the Lord. You do not have to die at your husband's hadns.
---Trish on 11/9/10


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Well if he's been violent you should not stay with him, and if you separate he'll have to work won't he...I'd love to tell you divorce him but that's the easy way out of all this isn't it.

Separation I encourage, and for good cause, People don't know what they had until it's gone. INSIST on Christian marriage counseling as a condition for restoration, don't go back to this mess without someone in your corner, that alone may ensure your freedom. (1 Cor.7:15) If difficulty is placed on him to keep you, you'll finally see what he's made of, and he may come to accept your faith, even support it. The grace that bought your salvation wasn't cheap so please take this slowly and reverently.
---Pharisee on 11/9/10


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