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Must Wives Obey Their Husband

Must wives obey their husband? One wife does and the other doesn't. Who is right?

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 ---Tumbo on 11/30/10
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The only time a wife should disobey her husband is if the husband is in sin and tells her to sin, for we each are to obey God above man. Other than this, wives are instructed to obey their husbands which is their head, because this is right and acceptable to God. A rebellious wife whom cares not what her husband says is sinning, and a house divided against itself cannot stand.
---Eloy on 1/10/11


I always make Jesus right, not what I think. According to God's word here is your answer in I Peter 3. Now if your spouse is asking you to do something that is outside the will of God or is sin, then no you do not have to obey or follow him in that. of course, this is for Christian women, read below IPeter 3: 1 IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,
---Deborah on 1/10/11


Obey simply means to respect the husband. If a woman is being respected and treated correctly, that should not be a problem. Vice versa. Common sense. One wife does and the other doesn,t whose right? One wife may not know what the word means according to the bible. Or one wife does not feel loved and appreciated by her spouse, so she feels she does not have to literally obey him. The wife who is obeying(respecting) the husband is correct.
---Robyn on 12/5/10


My wife had the following experience while at a sewing convention in New Orleans. She was in a motel room by herself praying when suddenly she received( not audible) message. The message went like this, "listen to your husband" she told me this after returning from trip. I love to kidd her about it to this day.
---mima on 12/5/10


marriage is a symbol of the marriage of Christ to His church

two cannot lead

to love God completely one MUST submit to His rule in their life

to love your husband completely you would know you have found a man who loves and cares for you deeply and cherishes you - submitting is an act of love

not how the gentile christian churches have misused this verse to belittle their wives or subjecting them to humiliation or treating them like servants etc

sadly many women find husbands who treat them directly opposite of the way Christ instructed because many enter into marriage with the rose-colored glasses in full bloom or because they were desperate and settled
---Rhonda on 12/4/10




It would be wise to note that women should submit to a Godly husband.
Should a husband's demands go against the word of God she is to obey the Lord and his word.
The word is a discerner of the thoughts of the heart.
It will manifest a Godly woman's desire and a rebellious woman's desire about this issue.
It will also manifest a Godly husband's desire as well as that of a disobedient husband in this issue.
The same answer will save some and condemn some depending on the state of their heart in this.
The word is as a double edged sword in all matters.
---Frank on 12/3/10


Wives must obey God and only God...it does not get any simpler than that!

The bible verses that all married couples are familiar with...especially women... has been taken completely out of context and has been mis-used by carnal men for reasons outside of the will of God...thus throwing God's people into confusion, strife, and bitterness. Putting more burdens upon God's blessed women....

Woman called and anointed by God for a wonderful purpose...but instead because of the plan of Satan to twist God's word..hold these woman in bondage to never fulfill with joy their real destiny.
---L_Will on 12/3/10


\\He place this curse on Eve along with painful child birth. Read Gen3:16
---John on 12/2/10\\

Wrong, John.

God did NOT put a curse on Eve.

God merely said what the curse released by her disobedience was.
---Cluny on 12/3/10


John yes there was a curse put on women in Genesis 3:16 but I have often wondered why is that still is in effect when God took his reborn Christians out from under the Old Covenant and all the hand writing of ordinances which was against us. I very much believe in wives respecting their husbands and their wishes but not to the point of it causing a woman to suffer under the husbands hand. A good husband is like a jewel for usually he shines brightly among all the bad ones.
---Darlene_1 on 12/3/10


For ALL men and everyone else that says that wives are to be controlled by their husbands: 1st there is NO where in the Bible that says this. In fact, God took Eve out of Adam's rib, to show that the two are ONE, and that there is to be an EQUAL PARTNERSHIP between man and woman, NOT either one controlling or dominating over the other. 2nd husbands controlling or dominating over their wives according to the Bible is WITCHCRAFT, and if you do so, you are working for the devil, NOT God. Yes, Christ is the head and must be obeyed and submitted to just as the man is the head and should be submitted to, however Christ does NOT control or dominate over and neither should a man.
---Leslie on 12/3/10




Leslie, Mary,

What you are not being told here is. This is one of the original curses of G-d.

He place this curse on Eve along with painful child birth. Read Gen3:16
---John on 12/2/10


If you can't tell this is a "ruse" there's someting wrong with your perception.Really!
---1st_cliff on 12/2/10


Mary,thank you. Always good to see you on here. Frank thank you. Added info,even submissive women still don't have to submit to a husband who wants them to do things against God and their service to Him Acts 5:29 Then Peter and the other Apostles answered and said,we ought to obey God rather than men. It tells children to obey "in the Lord" that means they obey no things which go against God. In Ephesians and Colosians where wives are told to submit,it says "as it is fit in the Lord" and "as unto the Lord". Women are never mindless,they know what is acceptable to God and must always put God first in their lives even before the husbands for they must not ever let anything keep them from obedience to God.
---Darlene_1 on 12/2/10


You are right about submitting to a loving husband.
But, rebellion towards a loving husband is another matter.
The church has done that by being rebellious to a Lord that gave his life for it and they shall be damned for that rebellion.
That is the type of woman not in subjection to her husband that I am referring to.
It should not be brushed off with subjection to a loving husband.
Our lives here are a type and shadow of eternal things.
And whatever Jesus Christ wants and says goes regardless of what we want.
That is the type and shadow of 1 Peter 3:6 where Sarah obeyed Abraham as Vashti should have obeyed her king.
---Frank on 12/2/10


Bless you Darlene :)
---Mary on 12/2/10


No the Bible doesn't say for wives to obey husbands. Ephesians 6:1 Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Servants obey masters,we obey God,but wives submit. Colossians 3:18 Wives,submit yourselves to your own husbands,as it is fit in the Lord. Ephesians 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God,as Christians we are told to submit one to another also. Marriage is a two way road and it takes humility in both partners to keep it healthy. When husbands love their wives as themselves and as Christ loves the church a woman doesn't mind submitting because then the whole relationship is operated through love,Ephesians 5:25 Husbands,love your wives,even as Christ also loved the church,and gave himself for it.
---Darlene_1 on 12/2/10


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Does she obey him the right way? Have you considered 1 Peter 3:1-4? I notice how this includes "rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." This beauty of love's "gentle and quiet spirit" is included in being pleasing to God while being obedient. Hebrews 13:17 shows me that God trusts the leaders whom He has chosen and approved. So, He expects us to also trust these leaders. Obedience includes deeply trusting.
---Bill_willa6989 on 12/1/10


You already know the answer, for the scripture is Not, Wives disobey your husbands.
---Eloy on 12/2/10


Mary,
It isn't good to be on Vashti's side when there are spiritual types and shadows about obeying Christ in the word of God.
The entire word of God is about Christ and his church, or bride.
Men should be the head of their household and wives should be in subjection.
Paul said the law was a teacher to bring us to Christ.
Those examples, even of Vashti losing her place for rebellion, or witchcraft were for us as Christians.
How we live shows the Lord if we are obedient to Christ.
When a wife is disobedient unto her husband in the natural it manifests that she does not care about what the word says about spiritual things.
Paul even made reference to Sarah obeying Abraham calling him lord.
A type and shadow of Christ.
---Frank on 12/1/10


Another issue with Vashti is where all these women say that she was supposed to show her naked body to drunken men.
The word says that the king saw her as beautiful in her royal attire.
She was to come with the crown royal. Not naked.
But, those who wish to twist scripture will have their day when they too will have been stubborn one too many times.
People in democracies and republics forget the Lord is a King.
What he says goes. Not what the woman (or wife) says.
The church will end up in hell if it is rebellious to Christ.
Wives being in subjection to their husbands are an example of a church in subjection to Christ.
No apples and oranges.
Scripture.
---Frank on 12/1/10


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Tumbo, its easy to obey someone that is loving and serving you and putting you first.
The male position of authority is in the Lord not the flesh. She obeys as he follows the Lord, e.g. Abraham and Sara.
The world is incapable of grasping agape or God's order and finds this a stumbling block.
---larry on 12/1/10


Another issue about obeying the Lord is where Samuel told Saul the sin of rebellion and disobedience is as the sin of witchcraft.
We must be careful how we live in this world.
Everything we say and do is a witness at the throne of God about what we believe. The Lord said ye shall be witnesses unto ME.
An old saying is actions speak louder than words. The Lord sees and hears.
It is profitable to watch what we post.
David said his mouth is the pen of a ready writer.
What we believe in our heart we speak and what we believe and speak we post on websites.
The wife is to obey.
And, if I was a wife I would still believe I should obey my husband just as I as a man and wife of Christ try to obey my Husband in this life.
---Frank on 12/1/10


Frank, you're comparing oranges with apples. Obviously we are all to obey Jesus. But a man is wrong to demand obedience from a woman. And I'm on Vashti's side! Esther was better for the reason she was there, but for Vashti to refuse to display her body to a bunch of drunken men was not wrong.
---Mary on 12/1/10


Since Tumbo has many wives can I get an additional wife? Bruce said nothing in the Bible forbids it. Will it be OK?
---Tim on 12/1/10

Not if it's illegal i your society, see Romans 13:1

Otherwise YES, however it may not be what is best for you.
---Pharisee on 12/1/10


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Since Tumbo has many wives can I get an additional wife? Bruce said nothing in the Bible forbids it. Will it be OK?
---Tim on 12/1/10


The post by Leslie is typical of church teaching that removes the fear of the Lord.
The way we live manifests at the throne of God how we feel the church (wife) should believe about the Lord (Husband)
Vashti was an example of this teaching.
Just tell Jesus that you don't have to obey him and see how quick you lose your place, or salvation.
There are just too many thinking they can do as they please in these last days. No wonder the Lord said few would find the way.
---Frank on 12/1/10


a Muslim with several wives (for that is allowed for him) becomes a Christian, he may keep those wives?
---alan8566_of_UK on 12/1/10

"Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called." 1 Corinthians 7:21

There's nothing new or old Testament forbidding polygamy except for church leaders in the New Testament.
---Pharisee on 12/1/10


\\That word submit means to RESPECT.\\

Leslie, does submitting to the civil law mean you don't have to obey it?

How about submitting to God? Does that mean you don't have to obey Him?
---Cluny on 12/1/10


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Bless you Leslie for a most refreshing post! :)
---Mary on 12/1/10


Leslie, I'd rather be loved than merely submitted to, myself.

As usual, men get the short end of the stick.
---Cluny on 12/1/10


People have TWISTED scripture on this for years. It does NOT say for wives to obey their husbands, it says for wives to SUBMIT to their husbands. That word submit means to RESPECT. If a wife were to obey her husband, that would mean that the husband is in WITCHCRAFT because he is being CONTROLLING, and DOMINATING over his wife, which is NOT Biblical and is moving in Satan's teretorry.
---Leslie on 12/1/10


Cluny ... Surely, if, for example, a Muslim with several wives (for that is allowed for him) becomes a Christian, he may keep those wives?
---alan8566_of_UK on 12/1/10


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Tumbo,
Bishops and Deacons can only have one wife.
To have more and then come to Christ and divorce would make wives divorced for reasons other than fornication adulteresses and a man that would marry her an adultress.
In your case all wives should be in subjection and you should be in subjection to Christ and love them all.
Your duty to all should be the same.
It should not diminish from the first when others were/are taken.
One wife is honored in most areas as Christ having one bride.
But, David had more and rescued two as a symbol of the Jew and Gentile churches.
If more are allowed in your culture be loving to all.
But, you could not be a Deacon or Bishop.
---Frank on 12/1/10


Tumbo, you seem to be very interested in your wives submitting to you.

You can't control the behavior of other people. You can only control your own.

Are you aware that the very next verse in the passages about "wives submitting to husbands" say, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it"?

Do you love your wives EQUALLY with a "willing to lay down your very life for them" love?

If you don't, you shouldn't complain if one doesn't obey you.
---Cluny on 12/1/10


If my husband (don't have one) loved me as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, I would obey him in a heartbeat.
---shira3877 on 12/1/10


\\Not where I am from.\\

And where are you from?

And what church is that that allows for polygamy?
---Cluny on 11/30/10


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This will be ant interesting subject. Tumbo come from a culture where polygamy is normative and he married four wives prior to becoming a Christian. It is not stated if the wives are no Christian or not. The question refers to Obedience one wife obeys and three don't. Tumbo is a new Christian and does not understand all of Paul statement about women and wives. He can never be a church leader with multiple wives but he can still be a Christian because it was a preexisting state prior to the realization of his salvation.

Remember the marriage ceremony say you can have 16 wives, four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer, Tumbo only has four so give him a little slack.
---Blogger9211 on 11/30/10


Not where I am from. Christians here can have many wives if they had the wives before coming to Jesus. Now not all of my wives will obey. Does your wives obey you? How do you tell them?
---Tumbo on 11/30/10


\\I has four wives.
---Tumbo on 11/30/10\\

Then why are you asking about this matter on a Christian blog? Christianity allows only one man and one woman to be married at a time.
---Cluny on 11/30/10


I has four wives.
---Tumbo on 11/30/10


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How many wives do you have, Tumbo?
---Cluny on 11/30/10


A wife must submit to the authority of her husband ,Eph 5:22, as he submits to the authority of Christ over him. 1 Cor 11:3 If a husband is commanding a wife to do contrary to the Word of God she must NOT do it for to those who know to do good and does it not to them it is sin. James 4:17 A Godly husband that God intended husbands to be will be concerned about his wifes soul and dare not ask her to sin against God. God Bless, Paul
---paul on 11/30/10


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