Want A Younger Man
I am involved with a man who is 15 years younger than me. He has a huge issue with this but not all the time. Is there somewhere in the Bible that can help me top show him that age is only a number and that you can't live for what-ifs?
Moderator - It's time to move on. If it's a problem now, wait until you get married. Respectfully you are old enough to be his mom and that is also a potential flag for both of you.
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---Jean on 12/5/10
Helpful Blog Vote (5)
It is a huge mistake Jean! Don't do it! You are feeling good now,probably and looking good,too. I am sure. Otherwise I don't think you would even be considering doing such a foolish thing. But your looks are going to fade sooner than you think. A lot depends on how mature the young man is,too. From your question he is having trouble with the age gap already! That is clearly your answer, from him. Don't do it! You will be a dried up old, wrinkle prune. He will be a spry,young-looking distinguised middle-aged man. Of course, he will need a young woman to complete his picture. And that won't be you,luv.
---Robyn on 1/10/11|
First, of all you do not need to be in want, don't seek a mate based on age or looks. And no God does not look at age. You want a Godly, Christian man who you can follow as he follows Christ. Any marriage can work if you walk in the new commandment John 13:34 "I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another."
It does not matter what others think, what matters is do you have the peace of God and His blessing. Don't let your faith rest in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God! When something is of God it will last!!!!! God knows how to keep you no mater what the age or circumstance!
---Deborah on 1/10/11|
Jean, take the advice the moderator gave you. It is not guaranteed that you will have trouble later, but it is a very high possibility. If he is having trouble with it now he will almost have trouble later. I believe when the man is older it makes more sense. In some countries it is that way so that when the girl marries someone older, he is already established and has provisions for her already. Plus women are ahead of man as they grow up. Just my thoughts.
---Mark_V. on 12/14/10|
Robyn, You're right on! I've been rich and I've been poor- rich is better, so long as it's legit!
---1st_cliff on 12/12/10|
1st cliff: If I had to do it all over again I would do what Anna Nicole Smith did. If you are going to be involved with anyone, especially, an old man, as this man was. It was a good thing he had money. What else did he have to offer? A thick wallet is always attractive. I hope she had some love for the old man, but the money made it easier to be with him. Money can solve many problems in our lives.
---Robyn on 12/12/10|
Anna Nicole Smith married a man in his 90s, she said she loved him! Of course his millions was not a factor, was it ?
---1st_cliff on 12/11/10|
Moderator, I have to ask: would you give the same advice to a man who is 15 years older than the woman he loves? Just wondering--thanks
---Mary on 12/10/10|
Shira3877: You know it is not so much about the age, either. Neither do relationships/marriages last because of looks. There are so many things that contribute to a lasting relationship. We do not have room to list here. I have seen many scenarios. The homely girl/guy gets the woman/man. It is what you know sometimes and not how you look or what age you are. Wisdom is very sexy to me and so is experience. I married a much older man and he is worth 2 young men, to me, I am in the minority. I know. Most women do not agree with me. and that's ok. I only speak for myself. I am no longer the young, child-like bride I was over 30 years ago. But I have not let myself go,either.
---Rpbyn on 12/10/10|
Robyn, the younger man gets older too. I know many women who are over 55 who take care of themselves. Like you say, when people get older, they seem to gain weight and let themselves go. I am happy I am not one of them.
---shira3877 on 12/9/10|
Jean, You wouldn't happen to be blond would you?
There was this blond girl who was fed up with all the dumb blond jokes at her place of employment. She said to this one joker "I studied all night all the state capitals of U S A just ask me one"
He said OK what's the capital of Nebraska? she said "N"
---1st_cliff on 12/9/10|
Most persons should take the moderators advice. Because as far as numbers, many are not satisfied later on in life. That is because people are selfish.
But for those who have true love, nothing can separate you from the love of Christ and the love for each other. Love endures. It never fails through time. Love is not selfish or seeks its own. That is true love. The other love is selfish and seeks to be rewarded in some way. Looks, money, etc.
So Jean, if you do not have true love from Scripture, do not marry him. You will be sorry. Did you hear that? "you" will be sorry later on. That is a selfish thing most have that is why you should take the moderators advice. If both of you have the love of Christ in you, then marry him.
---Mark_V. on 12/9/10|
//The moderator was not the only person who told the lady to move on. But anyway//
Robyn, please do not spend your reward on a schleps like us...
Mat 6:1-4 Take heed that you do not do your merciful deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in Heaven. Therefore when you do your merciful deeds, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may have glory from men. Truly I say to you, They have their reward. But when you do merciful deeds, do not let your left hand know what your right hand does, so that your merciful deeds may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret Himself shall reward you openly.
---aka on 12/8/10|
The flip side to this problem is( just saying) When a man marries a younger woman he has ulterior motives also. As she ages, he may become disillusioned also. Women let themselves go, gain weight, hair gets gray, stop being fresh and fun-loving and so forth. The man misses this, I think. But when the woman begins to age, he has to be flexible and hang in there with her. That is, if the love is still there. Some t want to run. Straight into the arms of another young thing. This will not solve any problems. For she will age,too. He would do better to stay with the wife and get use to it. Or separate and do something different.
---Robyn on 12/8/10|
What is simple is that the God kind of love is unconditional, loving the person more than your expectation of the person, and His love flowing through us looks just like 1 Corinthians 13. What do you want more? Your husband to look like what you want or you to look like your Father?
---Linda on 12/8/10|
The moderator was not the only person who told the lady to move on. But anyway. In the end age does not really matter, if you really love someone. You have to really be mature,love each other and be committed to making your relationship work. I married a man 20+ yrs older than me. Thirty years later(30) we are still together. The relationship is slowly going down hill now! But the problems can easily be resolved but he refuses to look at them. He won't dress the way he use to, wont' get his teeth fixed etc.....simple things. The love is there but love sometimes, is not enough. He is stubborn and blind about things.Now this is from my viewpoint.
---Robyn on 12/8/10|
Take the moderators advice.
Itll only get worse as you get older.
I was involved with a 40 year old woman when I was 22. We dated for 2 years. I loved her to death, but she broke up with me for someone her own age. Now 16 years later I am thankful that things went the way they did even though back then I was very hurt.
I would have hurt her now if she hadnt found someone her age back then.
---JackB on 12/7/10|
It is nothing wrong with wanting a young man or woman. But the problem is mainly with the older person. Or will be in later years. But! If two people really love each other and are mature enough, it can work out. These type relationships work out everyday but both parties are sure of each other and are willing to move ahead in the relationship. Forgetting about what others may think or say. Be the best they can be in the relationship. With the help of the Lord also.
---Robyn on 12/7/10|
Age is not the real issue at this point. It's the fact he is having a problem with it is the real problem. If he's having a problem now, think of what it might be in the future. Let's say he is 40, that would make you 55, can he handle that? There is no Bible verse to really relate to your situation that I know about. My advice is the same of the moderator - move on. (Why do you want a younger man?)
---wivv on 12/7/10|
Yes robyn, viewing it again, I believe you are right in that it was in bad taste. I got it off the web regarding those men who would marry old women.
---leej on 12/7/10|
Leej: Your joke was in very poor taste. And very very insensitive. The night of lovemaking had nothing to do with breast milk. Milk is not a part of lovemaking usually. That suppose to be reserved for the infant. But in your case, i guess you are the infant.
---Robyn on 12/7/10|
There was this widow woman who had four husbands, three of them died from eating poison mushrooms and one of a fractured skull. (seems he wouldn't eat his mushrooms)!
---1st_cliff on 12/7/10|
this man has a HUGE issue with the age difference and you stayed hoping he'll reconsider this?
RUN AWAY RUN AWAY
RUN VERY FAST
whether a man marries a younger women or a women marries a younger man there is ALWAYS a HUGE sacrifice to younger partner who generally settles - it takes a great measure of love and tolerance to overlook an aspect of someone they CANNOT change
Bible has nothing to say on this subject so rather than CONVINCING him to dismiss the age-gap find a man who is unconcerned with any age difference
you should have RUN way back at his first hint
---Rhonda on 12/7/10|
There are always jokes about a young man that marries an old lady.
Have you heard about the young man who was just married to an old lady for her wealth?
After a night of love making the following morning he was dead.
Why did he die?
The post mortem revealed that he died from expired breast milk.
---leej on 12/7/10|
It sure sounds like you are just selfish and posessive.
Using a heavy GUILT trip on some young "Boy Toy" you want around your vanity.
He is very sad and concerned about his future. A future with someone who will be an old gray hair lady and probably obese.
Leave him alone and seek help for you selfish vanity and denial of an abusive relationship to an inncoecnt boy.
RESPECT AND LISTEN TO HIS HIS WISHES AND LET HIM GO!!!
PUT YOU INFLATED EGO BACK IN THE BOX AND START RESPECTING YOURSELF AS AN OLDER WOMAN.(though that will take some time)
---John on 12/6/10|
Cliff ... BUt in spite of that, maybe they still loved each other?
---alan8566_of_uk on 12/6/10|
I had friends a few years back, he was 26 she was 50 and very good looking. They married I ran into them later when he was 48 and in good shape, she was now 72 frail and unsteady, no longer a good husband wife match.
I couldn't help feeling sorry for them . (but hey, I thought,it could be worse, it could be me! LOL)
---1st_cliff on 12/5/10|
Jean...A lot depends upon your ages now. If he is 75 and you are 60, you are probably both about the same maturity wise. But, if this guy is 18 and you are 33, there's a big difference. However, I do have several friends with large age difference like yours and it worked out. Of course, both people had no problem with the age difference while dating. You man has a problem already. Listen to him.
---KarenD on 12/5/10|
I think that eventually the man in question may be thinking of starting a family but with an older woman that option may not be on the table.
It is best to let him go otherwise, there will be problems later on that may create a mess of both his and your life.
Not worth the investment!
---leej on 12/5/10|
Jean please listen to the younger man. He is not comfortable with you now and it will be worse later. Please listen,for your sake. In a few years you will begin to go down hill. If you have not already begun to do so. He will to but later on. It is going to be hell on you to keep up. There will be younger girls/women you may have to compete with. This a just a few problems. Is he born again? Are you?Cut it off now before you get in too deep. This is not going to end well.
---Robyn on 12/5/10|
Jean in some ways what you're making him to go on with is a bit unfair. You'll be going through different times in your in your life at the same time. I'm sure this is some of the reservation he's shouldering.
There is not a thing wrong with different ages being together should they both consent to the match. However, you have to consider his age as one where he will change unpredictably in the future and what that change will bring may be harmful to you. Can you imagine being forsaken in ten years? The thought may not trouble you now, but at that time having someone with you will be more important and harder to make happen. Think it over carefully.
---Pharisee on 12/5/10|
75 - 15 ...not a big issue
35 - 15 ...issue
depending on others study of the bible and its manipulation thereof ... major issue.
using the scripture for your own purpose ... most major issue.
---aka on 12/5/10|