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Marriage Is Like Fastfood

When I read most marriage blogs, it strikes me that most want a instant perfect partner from the start. No-one wants to invest in solid relations again, has marriage today become a fastfood item? What can be done about it?

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 ---andy3996 on 12/14/10
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Robyn, i totally agree. even when i try to live by the rule be Holy,For I Am Holy. that is why we should all spice our marriage with some grace and mercy and pour the sauce of tolerance. i myself use this when my sweety bothers me, then i say to mlyself: and say something like this: and what would Andy do if he was in such a situation, (i'm andy) usually i find out my reactions tend to be at least as bad (or even worse) then that of my darling that ussually calms me down and makes me to thank God again for such a lovely woman. to be honnest next to my wife i don't know any person willing to stick to me for such a long time as she did. not even i want to stay with me but then again i have no choice.
---andy3996 on 1/10/11


I am reading a lot of the posts here. But something we all are forgetting. We all are part spirit and part human. Once we become born again tha changes does not happen overnight. We still struggle with our humanity eveyday. That means we will still sin, in every way. The bible is a guide for christians. It does reveal the living breathing truth of God. But we cannot and will not be able to do everything perfectly that is written there. It causes us untold pain and misery when we try to do everything written there. Some things we will be able to do and others we will not. When we encounter something there we cannot do, we sin. And in walks "Jesus' with forgiveness. Forgiveness puts us back on track, so to speak with Father God.
---Robyn on 1/8/11


Robyn, you are so on point with your entire last post.

Marriage is honorable and very rewarding. It can take a ton of very hard work, however. If people would go into it and focus on sticking w/it through the "for worse" times more so than the "for better" ones, I feel like they'd be better prepared. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that it's always a "for worse" scenario, just that when the honeymoon period ends, most forget that they signed up for the rest of the marriage, too.

If our society would stop romanticizing marriage so much and also acting like there's something wrong with people (esp women) who don't marry right away, more singles might take their time and get it right.
---AlwaysOn on 1/7/11


Most people want more than they can give, and are willing to give. That's human nature. But a marriage takes hard work,most days. You never really get a day off. A lot of immature people marry then find out too late that marriage is not a game. Then they want to back out of the contract. This is where the trouble begins. But everyone wants to feel they won the best prize at the carnival when they marry. But when they find out what they really won, they get into a panic. Marriage is ok. But being single is probably the best choice. Men get the best part of the marriage deal,most times.
---Robyn on 1/7/11


it is a pity that some believe that God did what he forbade in the ten commandements. again, God is no man that he should act like a man, and all these prophetic images are only to make sure we men could understand what God is talking about. we humans should indeed be very carefull in humanizing God. but then now i undestand why Christianity has come to minimise divorce as a small thing. they believe God did it so they believe its not that bad after all. whilst all these divorcs-remary-redivorcees live in sin by braking a bloodcovenant instituted by God (for indeed marriage is a blood covenant).they still feel that they don't violate the rule Be Holy for i am holy.
---andy3996 on 1/7/11




MarkV, 1 Cor 13 was an eye-opener for me, too, many years ago. I taped it to my bedroom wall and carried a copy of it in my purse while in training to learn to love that way. I highly recommend that others do the same.
---AlwaysOn on 1/6/11


Don't buy fast food marriage

: ) wink!
---Carla on 1/6/11


Tom 2, what you said on 12/15/10 is the best advice to give anyone who is planning on getting married. Also good for those married who don't know what True love is. At one time in my life I was directed by a sister to study 1 Cor. 13, and memorize it. After many days I realize the love I had for my wife was not what was spoken of in that chapter. My love was demanding, selfish, seek for myself. But God's love is different. Love never fails. For Christ in us is True Love.
---Mark_V. on 1/6/11


Trav, my friend, this blog is about marriage--not Israel or the church but marriage between two human beings. :)
---Mary on 1/4/11

Hey friend Mary, didn't realize you didn't realize that Christ was a Man also. Bridegroom cometh ring a bell?
That GOD married had a Son....hmmmm. He wasn't illegit.

While we didn't make the first marriage between GOD and Israel.
GOD's remarriage will be the event of your life....whether you participate or don't.
GOD's marriage is the "Ideal" that marriage is based upon.
---Trav on 1/5/11


it appears to me that when you talk about Israel and the gentiles theres a different idea in your mind and mine. ...ROMANS talked about Israel as by-passed for a while. ---andy3996 on 1/4/11

There is a difference. No bragging tolerated. You and I were taught that Judah equals all Israel. They do not. You noted Romans bypassing them for a while. Because the refused their own...Christ.
The ethnos/gentiles are divorced sheep no married name now Israel.
Would all apostles go against Christs authority Matt 10:6/15:24? No. Would they go against GOD's prophets? No. Will you? What would your reward be? Even if we are not any part of Israel.
Me and mine will honor GOD's directives regardless of the cost. Hard? Not in truth.
---Trav on 1/5/11




it appears to me that when you talk about Israel and the gentiles theres a different idea in your mind and mine. ...
however as ROMANS talked about Israel as by-passed for a while. ---andy3996 on 1/4/11

First Judah does not equal all Israel....just 1/12th.
They were not lost...Jesus knew where they were and addressed them. They were by passed as he came to his own and they recieved him not.
The lost sheep will/has....this remainder of divorced Israel who lost her married name mixed in amonst the nations. These Sheep hear and respond. Heb 8:8. Matt 15:24. Would the Apostles go against Jesus,GOD, Prophets? No. Should you?
---Trav on 1/5/11


Trav, my friend, this blog is about marriage--not Israel or the church but marriage between two human beings. :)
---Mary on 1/4/11


it appears to me that when you talk about Israel and the gentiles theres a different idea in your mind and mine. I believe that the gentile (lets drop the word pagan)
still the gentile church is the church indeed. and Jesus came to save the world because his own (Israel) did not acknowledge (or recognise Him) also the bible shows in the prodigal son How the gentile (second son came back and how the first son (Israel) refused to accept and stayed out)we are in this time now. however as ROMANS talked about Israel as by-passed for a while. the gentile should not boast about thgis since he's a wild brach engrafted into the tree (Jesus).
---andy3996 on 1/4/11


so trav, Christ came to save Israel? .... why do we pagans still try to worship God in a New and Improved way ......
---andy3996 on 12/29/10

This seems to rile you and others a little, but some questions may be answers.
1. Did/will/would GOD/Jesus fail in his mission? No.
2. Why 2000 years later are there still pagans....not promoting Christ?
3. Who has taken/seen recognized Christ?
4. Are even present Pagans enlightened and blessed by Christian believers?


Matthew 15:24
But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
---Trav on 1/1/11


so trav, Christ came to save Israel? or the pagans replaced israel? or we are added unto Israel? which one.if it is only about Israel why do we pagans still try to worship God in a New and Improved way (remember Hebrews says that if the old covenant was good there would not have been need for the New). by the way the bible also teaches that it is not the sircumcission which is saved.
---andy3996 on 12/29/10


trav when we talk about God's marriage. who is the bride The pagan or the jew, the church or Israel? i advice to read Romans upon this very subject Not all that are descendents of Abraham are Israel.
---andy3996 on 12/28/10

All the prophets,GOD,Jesus,Apostles tell us who the bride in hundreds of witnesses. Israel. All Israel.

Romans is about Israel. Esau is Abrahams but,is not Israel. Esau GOD hated...remember? Still does....agree?
Whether we are Israel or are not does not change what GOD has promised/covenanted. It took a while to (unlearn) accept for me also...that GOD is GOD and will do what he wants and says he will do. I'm with him. Not against him,his prophets,his apostles and his SON. R U.
---Trav on 12/28/10


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trav when we talk about God's marriage. who is the bride The pagan or the jew, the church or Israel? i advice to read Romans upon this very subject Not all that are descendents of Abraham are Israel. yet everyone who is the church IS THE BRIDE. or as the bible says first for the Jew, and then for the greek -actually pagan- but since paul wrote to the greeks he used them as an example for all non-jews... again to use this imagerie of divorce was to make a point. God is no mere man that he marries in human terms. or would you sleep in the cupboard because God said in the bible that He is the potter and we are the clay. i don't think you would sleep in the stable because we're compared with sheep either.
---andy3996 on 12/28/10


isn't the quote mentioned in Jeremiah rather an imagerie used to express the gravity of the sin of the people of his day? To use this scripture literally is to say that God is
Pro-divorce however God hates (and not dislikes) divorce secondly using this scripture the way some do is to make God polygam. another thing denuciated by God. God is NOT yes and No at the same time.
---andy3996 on 12/24/10
Does he say it is imagery? No.
He put her Israel away. Her land was greatly polluted.
Study the NT divorce laws and the death of the husband to understand.
Then read ...Heb 8:8.
---Trav on 12/24/10


isn't the quote mentioned in Jeremiah rather an imagerie used to express the gravity of the sin of the people of his day? God is NOT yes and No at the same time.
---andy3996 on 12/24/10

Gravity of sin....10 nation/parts of Israel were scattered losing their married name,blessings,etc.
But, GOD in Hosea...says he will betroth them again. He could/did/will...through Christ death.
Heb 8:8 doesn't get much clearer when this is understood. Both houses of Israel are mentioned. He loved this wife. What is so hard to honor/understand and respect as that?? Judah is only one twelveth...yet the churches in blind arrogance/ignorance gives the Anti-Christ portion honor. Insane and pitiful.
---Trav on 12/24/10


isn't the quote mentioned in Jeremiah rather an imagerie used to express the gravity of the sin of the people of his day? To use this scripture literally is to say that God is
Pro-divorce however God hates (and not dislikes) divorce secondly using this scripture the way some do is to make God polygam. another thing denuciated by God. God is NOT yes and No at the same time.
---andy3996 on 12/24/10


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//The Bible shows God dislikes divorce.//

the bible shows God dislikes divorce, but at some point He found it necessary.
---aka on 12/16/10

He divorced a wife himself. He understands it completely.
Jeremiah 3:8
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
---Trav on 12/20/10


//The Bible shows God dislikes divorce.//

the bible shows God dislikes divorce, but at some point He found it necessary.
---aka on 12/16/10


The Bible shows God dislikes divorce.

But can the "husband of one wife" rule prohibit a divorced pastor. When remarried, he is still the husband of one wife.
---alan8566_of_uk on 12/16/10


alwayson said take government out of marriage. thats true, governmental marriage is only good for legal reasons. in Europe most countries did seperate church and state, where a church-marriage is not as the government. yet in Belgium there's a 70 percent divorce of which majority where church and state. in the moden churches its a little bit better, where only one upon two finishes in divorce. what i have seen is the problem with modern churches that also there's no block to prevent this. so if your pastor disagrees just enter the next church where they'll except you. the problem with ancient churches is that their members are usually no longer commited, and the priests are allready happy members still come for the traditional celebrations
---andy3996 on 12/16/10


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Before we go ahead and vilify all divorced pastors Andy we have to take into account the fact that God permits divorce under a certain circumstance making the break from what was once a "wife" clean so that even in the eyes of God she is no longer a "wife."

Besides which the verse that you're quoting has to do with polygamy specifically so that no strife will occur in the man of God's life from disputes within the home between his multiple spouses, this goes hand in hand with a bishop ruling his home well. It would carry over for a pastor who was divorced for anything less then infidelity however, I agree on that point.
---Pharisee on 12/16/10


"is the problem not in the church as wel? where divorced people are too much free?" ~andy3996

Yes, the church is a part of the problem, too. Not only are clergy marrying, divorcing and remarrying, but they officiate ceremonies where they marry two people who have been divorced despite the fact that the Bible has restrictions on such marriages. As long as it's "legal", they don't seem to have a problem with it. All of this leads to people valuing the true spirit of marriage less and less, and creates the disposable institution we have today.
---AlwaysOn on 12/15/10


is the problem not in the church as wel? where divorced people are too much free? i remember that whoever wants to be a bishop or a deacon has to be the husband of one wife. nevertheless most pastors i know became pastor toghether with their second or third wife. is in some churches not too much consideration given to human thoughts rather then the word of God?
---andy3996 on 12/15/10


Yes, marriage has become a "fastfood item". Doing our marriages God's way, by going by the Bible with how marriage is to be, is the ONLY solution.
---Leslie on 12/15/10


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In Vegas there are even drive-thru wedding chapels.

What can be done about it is to, first, to take government out of marriage. Many view marriage as a contract and not much more, especially after passion has faded. Unfortunately, many also view legal divorce as a way to break that contract. Scripture, on the other hand, portrays marriage as a lifelong commitment that's spiritual, mental and physical. Bible communities recognized marriage based on a person's word and actions. When these were broken, condemnation ensued. In contrast, today people marry, divorce, remarry, divorce, remarry again and divorce again with few social repercussions? Why? Because marriage and divorce have been reduced to a series of contracts made to be broken.
---AlwaysOn on 12/15/10


every person who is considering marriage shuld be required to read 1 corinthians chapter13,atleast 1 million times,maybe then they might have some idea of what love is.
---tom2 on 12/15/10


A marriage is a great place to learn love and forgivness.
---Rod4Him on 12/15/10


People today do not make commitments. I can't imagine a wife leaving a husband because he worked so hard. Blogger, you deserve better than that. I was married for 50 years. Good times and bad, but we made a commitment.
---shira3877 on 12/15/10


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//What can be done about it?//

Php 4:6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving....

remember just a few years ago, that it took us several minutes to sign on to the internet and feel fortunate if we were only kicked off twice per hour? it is ingrained in our psyche.

Instant gratification is a mark. ('mark' is both a singular and plural word...think about it)

Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove [test] what is good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Jer 47:6 Ah, sword of the LORD! How long till you are quiet? Put yourself into your scabbard, rest and be still!
---aka on 12/14/10


I got a good laugh out of the "fast food" term used in the question. Yet, that seems to describe the state of marriages today. At least in the USA. Don't know about the rest of the world.

I know from "experience" that many marriages are permanent until problems arise. I got divorced over the amount of time I spent working to support my family. Many people have to work 1, 2, 3, etc. jobs just to earn enough to live.

Since when did "work time" become a Biblical reason for divorce? Only in the "fast food" USA mentality. Not at all what GOD had in mind when he designed marriage.
---Augie on 12/14/10


Tom2 ... You are spot on.

I was married very happily for 33 years until my wife died.

We both of us lived our lives for the other. Our pleasure was please the other.

I have to admit that on occasion, I was selfish and thought of myself first ... then things were not so rosy. Just a gentle reminder from God as to what true love truely is.
---alan8566_of_UK on 12/14/10


It's because we're living in the age of the instant.

People on these blogs here expect instant salvation and sanctification, too.
---Cluny on 12/14/10


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what I think is the for better or worse has been deleted,its been replaced by what you gonna do for me
---tom2 on 12/14/10


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