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Wife Is Verbally Abusive

My wife is verbally abusive if I wake her up in the morning. She apologizes every time but I am called idiot and other names, told I am not a real man and told that she hates me. What should I do as we have four year old twins?

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 ---yepper on 12/21/10
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Take your Kids & Leave that woman alone, Women like this have serious issues, if she has no respect for you as a Man & Her Husband she will also show no regards for those kids, she's a monster & leaving the kids with Her would probably be a Hugh mistake...
---Marlon on 3/5/11


Don't take her verbal abuse personally. Your statement suggest she's not a morning person. This is proven by the fact she apologizes. If she thought what she said was true, she wouldn't apologize. You might try using a different approach in waking her. Since I don't know what you do now, or why you have to wake her up, I can't give you any suggestions. If you are afraid the twins might think she serious, have HER talk with them and reassure them this in not true.
---wivv on 3/5/11


Okay..here is your problem.
I think she is burnout from the twins and when she gets sleep nobody better wake her period.

She is a sleeping giant don't wake up. Make a special time for both of you to go and out for a nice dinner, movie ect.
get a baby sitter (Family is great)

Quite honest words like stupid, idiot even though are not cuss words are still derogatory words and hurt very much. Fent up angry can manifest itself later. You need a quiet place to talk every week. I can image how tiring it most be to have twins who are a joy but take alot of you.

Good luck hope these points help
---vivian on 1/24/11


What do you think you should do? Leave her alone in the morning or go find yourself another wife! On the other hand I think she is a very blind and dumb woman who is tearing her own house down, with her own hands. She should not be calling you names like that. I know your ego is in tatters. I feel sorry for you. Some people can be so unkind and cruel. I can tell you a lot of ugly things to do to her, but it will serve no real purpose. My prayers are with you.
---Robyn on 12/29/10


I'm deaf once I take my aid out at night so my husband wakes up before I do. He also fixes the coffee in the morning as I am "non-human" before that cup lol! :D
---Mary on 12/29/10




It's selfish of her to call u names let alone shouting at u.She is supposed 2 wake up earlier than u as d bible says.D bible adds dat a man can live in forest than living wit a nagging wife,so she shouldn't b shouting at u bcos u man are not designed 2 bare such actions or should i say responses.On d other hand research whether she grew up in a home where her mother treated her father in d same way she treats u or maybe she was hurt in d past not necessarily in a intimate relationship.Seek not just marriage conselling bt her very own therapy.My world view says IF U LOVE UR MAN U RESPECT AND SERVE HIM DILIGENTLY,U DON'T COMPLAIN AT ALL.I'm not sure if ul lyk 2 hear this:UR WIFE IS LAZY AND SHE'S D ONLY ONE HU CAN DO SMTHING ABT DIS.HLENGIWE
---Hlengiwe on 12/29/10


Don't wake her. I was not a morning person when I was married, and I hated being woken. Lord knows what came out of my mouth at that time of day.

Get her an alarm clock for her side of the bed and then leave her alone.
---Trish on 12/27/10


Don't wake her up anymore.
---AlwaysOn on 12/27/10


A verse in James says, "The effectual fervent prayer...availeth much." Pray for her. Pray lovingly for her to become more like our Lord Jesus. Consider devoting large blocks of time, walking in a special place, and talking to God about her need for Gal. 5:22 to fill her life. Love her with God's love intertwined with your love (Rom 5:5) and remember Luke 1:37, "Nothing is impossible with God." A soft answer turns away wrath. Tell her how wonderful she is in the things that she is wonderful at doing. For your own encouragement, get a copy of the book Hind's Feet on High Places. After you have read it, gift it to your wife. Expect God's miracle in 2011!
---roger on 12/26/10


my suggestion is don't wake Her up. if You must wake Her? keep in mind that even in court of law,a person
cannot be held responsible for any actions within the first 30 seconds of being awakened....
---kevin5443 on 12/24/10




After further thought, I have a question:

How long has this verbal abuse been going on? If it's only a recent thing, there could be either medical or psychological reasons that need to be explored.

You can also buy her her own alarm clock for Christmas and tell her she's a grown woman and can wake herself up henceforth.
---Cluny on 12/22/10


Um, I don't know about recording her words and playing them back. That could "play back" to haunt you!
---Mary on 12/22/10


Am very sorry about that but i was wondering what causes her to be abusive, do u prompt her to eitherby coming home late, promising to do something and u don't honour your promises or whatever reason. Human beings are difficult to deal with, if she is born again, ask her whether she knows that by abusing you she is grieving the Holy Ghost who dwells in you? Keep praying my brother God is able to do exceedingly above what we ask or imagine.
---Mikea7645 on 12/22/10


Try recording her words to you in the monrning and playing it back for her later.
---Cluny on 12/21/10


Friend I know your pain. My impression is that she truly loves you but has some unmet desire. Somehow your relationship doesn't match the vision she's held since childhood. You could search for and try to patch that hole but be careful what you use to fill it.
Life is busy but if you don't spend time learning how she needs to be loved to feel more fulfilled you and your children may pay a long term price for it.
Paul another blogger here recommends a book on love languages and I've heard nothing but good things about it before that. Try to connect with her past look again more closely at her relationship to her parents growing up. If I were you I wouldn't pass this off as nothing, where there are symptoms there is sickness.
---Pharisee on 12/21/10


When she starts yelling bad names, calmly ask her why she is so ugly to you. If she won't tell you, ask her again. then tell her you really don't appreciate her abuse.
---shira3877 on 12/21/10


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Just "roll with the punches". Some people just aren't morning people. They will often "attack" the person who disturbs them in the morning. She means it when she apologizes. Just accept the fact she is going to do this, but she doesn't mean it. (At least she's not physically abusive.)
---wivv on 12/21/10


There is not much you can do about it with out risking being charged with spouse abuse. You are just going to have to realize she is not a morning person, it is a impulse reaction that she does not truly mean and learn to live with it.
---Blogger9211 on 12/21/10


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