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Husband Living With Woman

My husband left our 25 year marriage on April 7, 2009, for another woman, whom he is still with. We have 3 children together. He calls me - but treats me only as a friend. He never mentions divorce, and I don't believe in it. I feel as if I would be a failure in God's eye if I did do it. What should I do?

Moderator - You have grounds for divorce if he is having an affair.

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 ---D_Swanson on 1/20/11
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Stand for your marriage. Pray, trust, believe. Marriage is ordained by God & it is his idea! The only person that can separate a marriage is God Himself and that is by death! Pray a hedge of protection around your husband (Hosea 2:6-7), pray this other woman's words will become bitter & her ways will become unstable. Mal 2:16 says For the Lord God of Isreal says He hates divorce for it covers one garments with violence. Stand firm, the world, friends and family will tell you different, but God will lead you. Search the scriptures, listen to His still small voice, expect a miracle.
---Sheri on 1/23/11


Tami 1/21/11 is right:
"Jesus permits divorce in the case of infidelity,but he does not require it.To the contrary,where God's grace and forgiveness brings healing into a relationship, a marriage ought to be restored rather then terminated"

Look to God's counsel in His word, not the counsel of mankind. Pray and trust in Him. He will guide you.
---Haz27 on 1/22/11


D_Swanson: Friend. You are delusional. This man is right in your face telling you he wants no part of you anymore, and you are missing all of the signals. This is insane! He has moved on with his life and you are still stuck in the mud in denial. Whether in God's eye or not. Your mariage has failed. This does not make you a failure. You need an older, mature person to help you out of this pit. Much prayer. And a lawyer...now!
---Robyn on 1/22/11


Have you spoken with your pastor, or a mature, woman who can guide you in understanding God's Word as it relates to divorce and adultery?

If you want reconciliation, see if he would be willing to go to marital therapy. Ask him what he wants to do with your marriage.

But, see your pastor for advice on this matter.
---Trish on 1/21/11


D_Swanson: My heart goes out to you in your suffering. I KNOW you feel between a rock & a hard place. My spouse of 33 years left me a few years ago & it was extremely difficult to overcome. But, you can overcome the rejection if you'll put your complete trust in the Lord. PRAY ~ seek the Godly counsel of your pastor, & comfort of family, friends & the church. The Lord will direct your steps, give you peace & make a way of escape out of your devastating dilemma whether it be in marital reconciliation or "biblical divorce". You are in my prayers Sis!
---Leon on 1/21/11




According to God you two are disolved or divorced due to adultry. You need to move on & file for yourself.He can't have a wife somewhere else & live with his girlfriend & treat his wife as just a friend. this isn't good on the children either.So move on & tell him he needs to file or you will.
---candice on 1/21/11


You have biblical grounds for divorce, since he has committed adultery. The way it is right now he, "Has his cake and icing too." If you feel you can't divorce him, find a Christian marriage counselor who doesn't know you or your husband and ask his/her opinion. My advice is to divorce him. (At least use it for leverage, and maybe this will get him off center and make him see what he had in his 25 years of marriage.)
---wivv on 1/21/11


Now, john.usa, be nice. You're right to a degree, but, GOD can give Wisdom through this Website. He's the Star of the show. :-)
---Gordon on 1/21/11


Why would YOU be a failure for your husband deserting you?

You have Biblical grounds for divorce.
---Cluny on 1/21/11


This is not a good venue for seeking advice on personal problems. We are all just faceless names here, and can't possible know another's situation well enough to give competent counsel.
---John.usa on 1/21/11




The Biblical comments 'for sexual immorality' most likely apply, so you have the right to ask for a divorce.

On the other hand, if you feel that is not appropriate, God does not tell you to divorce him, God only allows you to

Beyond that, it is a matter that you will have to decide, depending on how you feel for him (it is certainly not easy to forget a 25 year marriage) and whether you suspect he may return

I know, it is a horrible decision to make
---Peter on 1/21/11


The Bible clearly talks about divorce. The one footnote I would hold on to with tons of prayer is regards to Mathew 5:32-Does Infidelity mandate divorce? Jesus permits divorce in the case of infidelity,but he does not require it.To the contrary,where God's grace and forgiveness brings healing into a relationship, a marriage ought to be restored rather then terminated.Such a miracle is unthinkable from a human perspective, but God can bring restoration and hope even into relationships torn by pain, rejection, and unfaithfulness. God Bless!
---Tami on 1/21/11


Divorce him, you have biblical grounds and the man does not deserve you.
---Mary on 1/20/11


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