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Husband Hinders My Ministry

My husband has been secretly using crack on and off through out are marriage. He is also physically, emotionally and mentally abusive. We have 3 children who have witness his abuse as well. This man is hindering my ministry. Any advice?

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Trav, When a man places his faith in science rather....
Do you have anything in scripture that confirms a preAdamic race of men? ---CraigA on 2/14/11

Or faith in the un-witnessed doctrines of men.
The "rock" analogy is a good one. You're saying the wielder/person controls the "stone". Wielder cannot hurt you with the proper armor....of proof and witness. The one that runs when no rock/wielder chases is???
If a stone has a language in itself....it only needs a true interpretation. Interpretation to be proved it looks like it is getting closer.
Proof? Have as much as doctrine's of speculative theory that there wasn't....and by precepts more.
---Trav on 2/15/11


Sorry to hijack your blog, OP.

My ex-wife uses pot on a regular basis and has since Ive known her (15 years). We both did it while we were married and when my first daughter was born I stopped. Partying became a major stumbling block in our marriage and eventually she found someone who didnt 'nag' her so much about it.

All you can really do it pray for him and remain dedicated to Jesus Christ. God will give you the grace to get thru it if you focus on Jesus.
---CraigA on 2/14/11


I too am with someone who is abusive and smokes!?. I have been with him only through the grace of God. He has improved. He now attends church and says he took Jesus into his heart. I continue to pray for him. On bad days I am ashamed that I pray for him to be taken away. Then I am reminded of God's ultimate sacrifice. An excellent book is "The power of a praying Wife." It got me on the right track when I did not want to pray for him. Also pray for God to allow you to see him through His eyes and to tie your tongue. We need to remember we all fall short. We as wives are to win our husbands over by our actions not words. This will go a long way to peace in the house. I will pray for you. Your sister in Christ,Mary
---Mary_ludolph on 2/14/11


Trav, science in itself is not bad, neither is a sharp stone. But put that stone in the hands of a killer and its use will change.

When a man places his faith in science rather than the word of God thats when science becomes a religion.

Do you have anything in scripture that confirms a preAdamic race of men?
---CraigA on 2/14/11


---Plant and animal fossils testify to an earlier age that the Biblical timeline.---Trav
Theres the problem. Trusting in science.---CraigA on 2/12/11

Stone Science is one outside witness,GOD gave us.
Mr faithful, you believe science every day. You believe the world is round.
You believe science at the Dr/Hospital and take a shot of what science has "proven" by witnesses/testing.

I see your milk doctrine as the problem. What you "may" be too scared/lazy to prove...you'll just accept. (Give me another one of those doctrinal shots preacher. That make me feel complacent .....ahhhh).

Exodus 28:9
And thou shalt take two onyx stones, and grave on them the names of the children of Israel:
---Trav on 2/14/11




---Plant and animal fossils testify to an earlier age that the Biblical timeline.---Trav


Theres the problem. Trusting in science.
---CraigA on 2/12/11


You do not say whether your husband professes to be a believer. Ask your pastor to join with you in regular prayer. Men who are abusive tend to be possessive and become homicidal when they feel that they are losing control, so I would discuss it a detective. Ask God to guide you and fix the problem without your action. Fast if you can. Invite some faithful, mature, devout women to pray with and for you. Be willing to abide by whatever God commands. I will be praying for you.
---tokyocrow on 2/12/11


Trav: For clarity sake, Cain mated with a close relative (Unstated, unknown).
Your language in parenthesis is even speculative:(She likely)
(if Abel)

(we can easily assume)

But, does the Bible really say that? I don't think so.

How else can everyone Cain feared be explained (Gen. 4:14)?
---Leon on 2/11/11

How else? Gen 1, Pre-Adam creation.
Plant and animal fossils testify to an earlier age that the Biblical timeline.
No, I do not believe in evolution. It is not supported, scripturally or by science. Neither is a Global Flood.
I put your speculative language in parathesis...just to point out it is shadowy from your perspective....which by the way was what I was taught as a child too.
---Trav on 2/12/11


Yeah people, it is real 'christian' to blame the victim. You probably blame rape victims also. Many of you are not being Christ-like in your responses. I have seen people change drastically after marriage. Maybe the wife here got saved after they were married. I think I need to stop reading these blogs.
---Hope5979 on 2/4/11


Mat 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Mat 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Mat 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Mat 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Mat 10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me
---Hope5979 on 2/4/11




Seek assistance from a local battered women's shelter. Pack your children and yourself an emergency bag of belongings with copies of birth certificates, social security, and insurance cards. Don't wait til one of you are in hospital or dead. Pray for your husband from a distance! A safe distance. Do you have a career? A church family or friend you can turn to? Do NOT stay in the unsafe environment. You have an obligation as a mother to ensure your childrens safety as well as your own. What would happen to them if something happened to you? How would you feel if something happened to your children? How do you know they haven't been used or abused already. Get them out of that environment!
---Dotty8355 on 2/4/11


problems come and go, sister everything that has a begining has an end- am sure your husband wasnt abusive from the begining he actually started- Now take this: his abusive character has a begining and i want to assure you it also has an end. you can bring and end to it by your fervency in prayer to GOD
---edd on 2/4/11


Please try not to use 'your' ministry to evade resolving issues at home. God's call does not separate families. If there is prolonged disagreement in the family and there is no support at all from your spouse, go and ask God again if you are serving Him in His will.
---Adetunji on 2/4/11


While you are at it, you might do well to see what are your own ways that helped to get you into this situation. Because even if you get away from him or if he changes, those ways of yours can still work to get you into other trouble.
---Bill_willa6989 on 1/30/11


Mat 18:6 "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." You will be held accountable for not protecting your children.
You might not realize this, but your children are being trained to be drug addicts, abusers, or abuse victims. They might be taken away from you by social services. You might lose your house, your car, & other property because of this.
---Hope5979 on 1/30/11


While some may say that as a Christian you should stay with your husband no matter what, God does not mean for you to live with abuse. Neither does he mean for you to stay in a marriage where your children are seeing and probably experiencing abuse. it is teaching them the wrong thing.

For the sake of your children you must do everything you can to live a healthy life. Please leave him. You cannot save him. Get yourself together, get a job and take care of your children. If you don't know how get to a women's shelter, get a restraining order and if you hae to leave town.

Women and children are the most precious of treasures. you are a tresure.
---Dr._B on 1/29/11


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Gods_Property.......

Aren't ALL PEOPLE God's property

It does not sound like a proper 'personal' call sign
---Mark on 1/28/11


What is your ministry that your husband is hindering?
---wiv on 1/28/11


Dear Friend. I feel badly for you. And there is some really good advice for you here on this site. First seek christian counseling for your marriage.Because your marriage is clearly in trouble.You do have choices. If you feel your marriage is worth saving begin today with the counseling. If not--walk away, with your kids. But you will not be able to marry anyone else until his death.You have a huge problem on your hands.Crack is a very bad drug with very serious effects on the user,his family and anyone around them.
---Robyn on 1/25/11


Why are you complaining to the bloggers on ChristiaNet instead of using the resources that are available to you in any telephone book.

You seem to using sympathy from the bloggers of ChristiaNet for your own private pity party. Use your local resources turn you husband in to local law enforcement as a drug user and that will get him out of your hair and protect your children see a lawyer and get a restraining order sh he can not return home or take you and your children to a safe house for battered women but is doing realize realize he has your home and your assets. And realize you could have done all of this with out airing all you dirty laundry to the whole world here on Christianet.
---Blogger9211 on 1/25/11


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What is your ministry?
---Leon on 1/25/11


Jesus said, "No one puts a lamp under a basket, but put it on a lampstand, so it can give light to the whole house."

Your husband is God's property, too, not just you.

Your FIRST ministry is to your husband and children.

Bishops, elders, and deacons must have their households in due order if they are expected to minister in the church.

You have your work cut out for you.
---Cluny on 1/25/11


If he is physically abusing you, or your children, take the kids and get out...seek safety.

After that, seek therapy for all of you, because dealing with abuse, and addictions in the family, damages everyone in the family.
---Trish9863 on 1/25/11


Yes I advise you to search your heart and soul,pray and seek God,to see if you are using your husband hindering your ministry as an excuse to get out of an abusive situation. I would say the first you need to worry about are those three children who are growing up in a violent home. Protect them,mother,do the ministry God called you to first to love,provide for,and protect your children. All other things you may do as a "ministry" hold little importance when you have not done the most important thing of all minister to children you love instead of strangers,seems they should be the first ones you tend to. Should those children grow up around violence? Minister to your children.
---Darlene_1 on 1/25/11


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