Drug Adultery Husband Divorce
My husband, who is a Christian, has started using drugs very heavily. He has left me and his children saying he wants a divorce and is now committing adultery. What do I do?
Moderator - Give him the divorce. It is very doubtful that he is a Christian. Why do you think he is a Christian?
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---Heather on 3/23/11
Helpful Blog Vote (5)
If he has separated himself from you for some time and he now intend to make it formally permanent by asking for a divorce, do not be against him, agree with his request to divorce (Amos 3:3) but do not ask for the divorce yourself.
---Adetunji on 6/10/11|
Friend. You are in a very hard and sad place. Drugs are dangerous and evil. And send very evil messages to you and your children. Your husband is caught in a very deadly trap. You can stay and be the long suffering wife or you can leave and try to save yourself and your kids. I would probably try to help him, if he wanted to be helped. If not--I would start making plans for me and my children, right away. Its only going to get worse. Your choice.
You may end up with the worse end of the deal. You are dealing with a lot of evil. Drugs, anger, resentments, adultery. Wow! God bless you.
---Robyn on 6/8/11|
Cluny, I also believe what the Mod said is right only for one reason, because the mod said,
"It is very doubtful that he is a Christian."
doubtful not conclusive. The evidence is great for doubtful. The answer that Donna5535 gave is not correct for one reason, no one is without sin. All come short of the glory of God, just as you said. Of course only God knows who is really saved. And many do call themselves Christians but never really had a true love for Christ. All the things he has done to his family, do give some evidence he is not saved, yet none of us knows for sure.
---Mark_V. on 3/27/11|
\\. What about the Apostle Paul and his Damascus road experience? Wasn't he made clean right away? This question is for cluny\\
It depends on what you mean by "made clean." He apparently had a crabby side that comes through in his letters, especially at their ends. Bosom companions in one letter seem to have abandoned him in the next.
In other words, despite his spiritual state, he could have been hard to live with.
Whatever being "made clean" might mean, for a Christian it doesn't always mean being immediately free of weaknesses--or remove those that might come up later.
---Cluny on 3/25/11|
I agree with all of the points all of you have made and want to extend an very sincere apology. It's my understanding that we are born again of the Spirit when we repent, which to me means turn from my sins, stop fornicating, went to deliverance meetings and got set free from a spirit of rejection, the blood of Jesus cleansed me from all unrighteousness and God picked me up and put me on the Jericho road. What about the Apostle Paul and his Damascus road experience? Wasn't he made clean right away? This question is for cluny. Trish, I do apologize and agree with what you're saying. I think it takes about an hour on the phone to explain what I believe. My apologies.
---Donna5535 on 3/25/11|
\\What does belial have in common with Christ?\\
Of course, Donna5535, you immediately became morally pure and free from all vices the minute you first believed, right?
We all have weakness and sins and strongholds to overcome.
Some of them are trifling.
Others are merely disreputable.
And still others can be disastrous.
These last are found in the most externally virtuous Christians, too. Only God knows what they are.
---Cluny on 3/24/11|
leads one to wonder...is a person born again when the seed is scattered or when the person is actually delivered?
Heather, you know what to do? If you need time to figure it out, separate. God does not want anyone living in fear. You and your children are in grave danger.
---aka on 3/24/11|
Donna5565: I am glad my pastor and church did not respond to me the way you did, when I was in rehab. I am a Christian, and I was in rehab for my alcoholism. Christians do suffer from alcoholsim and addiction. Sorry to enlighten you to reality. Praise the Lord, my pastor and church treated me with grace and love when I was in treatment.
---Trish9863 on 3/24/11|
//Being a Christian does not exempt a person from being an addict.//
What does belial have in common with Christ? You either live in the Kingdom of Light (God's kingdom) or the Kingdom of darkness (satan's kingdom). If a Christian is an addict then they need to seek Jesus for their deliverance and to be set free from it. Whom the Son has set free, is free indeed. The Holy Spirit cannot dwell inside of an addict. Our body is a temple of the Holy Ghost. Isn't it? Or did I read that wrong in the bible?
---Donna5535 on 3/24/11|
I agree with the moderator. But Christian or not, if HE wants a divorce, is there anything you can do? Nobody HAS to stay married against their will.
You and your children will be much better off!
---Donna66 on 3/23/11|
Donna: I was in rehab with Christian men and women who had addiction/alcoholism problems. Being a Christian does not exempt a person from being an addict.
---Trish on 3/23/11|
Why not try a separation instead of immediately going out and getting a divorce?
---KarenD on 3/23/11|
Moderator, it's not for me to say.
Nor is it for you.
His sins do not mean he's a not a Christian any more than YOUR sins do not mean you're not a Christian.
And how do we know the poster is actually telling the truth?
---Cluny on 3/23/11|
Cluny, I do believe it is "doubtful" her husband is a Christian. Do you think it is instead "probable" that he is is Christian?
---Moderator on 3/23/11|
Ignore the Moderator.
Just as your sins do not mean you're not a Christian (and the same principle applies to the moderator), his sins do not mean you're not a Christian.
However, since he is using drugs, you should divorce him to protect yourself and your family. And it might be the best thing for him to get him to hit bottom and turn his life around.
And remember, he will be just as faithful to this other woman as he was to you.
---Cluny on 3/23/11|
I agree with the Moderator.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. If your husband is a Christian, he would not be using drugs very heavily, nor would he be committing adultery because the love of God would be flowing through him and the Holy Spirit would convict him of his sins and he would TURN away from them and repent very quickly. His flesh is in control, doubtful if he will just stop just like that.
---Donna5535 on 3/23/11|