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Friends With The Unsaved

How much time would you invest in a co-worker who is NOT saved but wants to be your friend? She's deeply into astrology, sleeps around ALOT, and listens to things about the Lord from me, but I have no real fellowship with her, but she wants to be friends. What would you do?

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 ---Donna5535 on 4/4/11
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Donna - God may heal the unsaved as a "dinner bell" to salvation. Pray not only for her salvation, but for her healing. If she gets healed, and it can only be attributed to God, it may make her get saved.
---Leslie on 4/21/11

Update...the Lord worked this out for me. She went out on Medical Leave and sent me an email today that she will not be communicating with anyone at work while trying to get well. I feel so very relieved. She didn't ask me to pray for her, but of course I pray for her salvation. Question: Why would the Lord heal an unsaved person who won't repent and won't stop living an immmoral lifestyle? or would God heal her in spite of living in immorality and by astrology. She's not willing to give either of them up.
---Donna5535 on 4/18/11

I noticed someone mention 1Corinthians 6:14 about not being unequally yoked. The context of this continues to verse 18 and is speaking of fellowship, or partnership. We are told to come out from among them and be separate and there is no fellowship with the unrighteous and the righteous. Paul also wrote we are in the world so we cannot avoid association with those of the world. But to associate with someone and being friends are two different things. Jesus called his disciples friends but those who did not believe he did not, though he did associate with them.
What is a friend but someone we have things in common with. Can you say this of this women.
---willa5568 on 4/18/11

Blogger9211, you gave some great advice to others. I feel the same way. I use to evangelize at work only when God put people in my path. I was always aware I was on company time so did what you suggested, to ask them to call you are have coffee after work. I did work with another air condition mechanic and while on the roofs working on units, he would ask me many questions and after a year, he committed his life to Christ while working with me. I also prayed with sisters who had breast cancer and were going for their 6 month test. Plus, we were allowed by the company to have Bible study with those in Texas through conference during lunch.
---Mark_V. on 4/17/11

1. It is perfectly proper to have casual friends in the work place with people who might not wish to attend church with you.

2. It is definitely improper to evangelize at the work place as that is not what you were hired to be doing. This applies even on break time or during a onsite lunch periods.

There a times and locations for evangelism but the work place is not one of them. People can see the mannerism of you Christianity by the way you act and present yourself. If a co worker inquires about your faith take their phone number and tell them you would be happy to discuss it with them after work by phone or at another location.
---Blogger9211 on 4/13/11

Great insight here! Thank you very much-all of you.

One of the things God showed me was: A person can have a friendship with an unbeliever but not fellowship and He was right, there is no fellowship between us. As soon as I talk about the Lord, he cuts me off and doesn't want to hear about Him. He's the love of my life, how can I be silent about Him?
---Donna5535 on 4/8/11

//and bound to cause friction and ultimately grief. StrongAxe on 4/7/11//

I whole-heartedly agree with StrongAxe.

Cluny, it means more than in a marriage. That scripture doesn't say, Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers in marriage only....

The proof that I should pull myself away from her is that she promised not to read my astrology chart because I am totally against believing in astrology and she did it anyway, so she violated my wishes and like StrongAxe said, it has caused friction between us.
---Donna5535 on 4/8/11

Do I break off the friendship cold turkey? Or continue to let her use me for what she wants out of me?
---Donna5535 on 4/5/11

John 6:44
No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

You are not doing the drawing to Christ is the first thing to relieve yourself of.
Let GOD do that. You'll have every answer that GOD gives you for whoever GOD wants you to help.
Some sow, some reap.
If it is your own mission you are on it will always give unsatisfactory results. This I know well... Ha.
Ask GOD to hedge you in protection. Ask him about this aquaintance.
Friendship? You're light she's dark.
---Trav on 4/8/11


While its primary meaning may be in marriage, it could very well apply to ANY kind of yoking where two people function in a common purpose - whether they are married, friends, or business partners. In any of these cases, where the two people have different values or different goals, their actions will be at cross-purposes, much like oxen pulling in different directions or with different strengths - and bound to cause friction and ultimately grief.
---StrongAxe on 4/7/11

\\Donna - If she does not want anything to do with Jesus, the Bible says to NOT be unequally yoked to unbelievers\\

i believe this passage about not being "unequally yoked" is talking about marriage, not friendships, still less about employee peer relationships.
---Cluny on 4/7/11

Your answer is exactly what I wanted to say. I am glad I am not alone in my thinking on this subject.

I attended public schools growing up, and a Christian girl that was in everyone of my classes in junior high started witnessing to me in school, and inviting me to her home after school. In high school, she invited me to visit her sister's college for an overnight, and her sister witnessed to me. I did not accept the Lord then, but eventually I did. In our senior year, she invited me to her church, and I started attending it. I accepted Christ with another person witnessing to me. Later that year, I was baptized. If she had not been a friend to me, I am unsure if I would have ever accepted the Lord.
---Trish9863 on 4/6/11

It has been said that, for a lot of people, we are the only Bible they ever read. Often, just being yourself (and who you are in Christ as a result) can be the best witness you can give to someone.

We are not supposed to be unequally yoked - so if someone wants to involve you inactivities that you know are wrong, it is better to just walk away. However, there are many activities that Christians and non-Christians both do (i.e. eating lunch, doing laundry, taking the kids to the park, etc.) that should provide no problems at all.
---StrongAxe on 4/5/11

Donna - If she does not want anything to do with Jesus, the Bible says to NOT be unequally yoked to unbelievers - so break off the friendship, or she will pull you down. Yes, be loving and nice to her, but do not be a friend to her, it will only damage your relationship with Christ. Also, pray for her in your private quiet times - that God would draw her to Himself and open her eyes to see and her ears to hear.
---Leslie on 4/5/11

Since she refuses to go to church with you, doesn't want you to pray with her, refuses to hear bout God & His free salvation, you equally can turn down her offers of friendship when or if it is contrary to how you feel or believe. Don't do anything you feel will conflict with your testimony. Other than that, be as much of a friend as you possible can be. Like I said, it'll be limited but maybe you can be a witness to her by the way you live. God bless your efforts.
---Reba on 4/5/11

Everyone of you gave EXCELLENT advice. Thank you. I asked her not to read my astrology chart and she did anyway. I invited her to church, she said no. I invited her to bible study and she said no. She doesn't want God, but loves when the Gifts are in operation in her life. Example: I sense her spirit of fear. Explained how it operates and I bind it up in Jesus name. She's okay with something small like that, but nothing else. She wants God to heal her now so she can go back to her lifestyle and I told her, "He wants your heart, let me pray for you" and she jumps up and says, "No, pray for me when you're in private place." Do I break off the friendship cold turkey? Or continue to let her use me for what she wants out of me?
---Donna5535 on 4/5/11

Have you ministered the Gospel to her to bring her to salvation? If you have done this and she does not want to be saved, then the Bible says NOT to be unequally yoked to unbelievers. Yes, love her and be nice to her, but if she does not want Jesus, then according to the Bible, you are not to be friends with her. Now, if she gets saved, then yes you can befriend her, and even disciple her in the things of God.
---Leslie on 4/5/11

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God obviously wants you to have a relationship with her. Be a good friend, hang out, have fellowship with her, do anything short of sinning or comprimising your self to reach her. Never underestimate the power of true community. Be 100% real with her. She could be starving for love now by sleeping around. Show her true love by being a friend. Remember only God can save. A friend of mine got saved this way.
---Scott on 4/5/11

Ask her why she wants to be your friend? Perhaps she wants you to sin together with her. Tell her that you are a Christian and cannot be unequally yokes together with nonChristians because sin is not appealing to you nor to God. But if she wants to become a Christian like you are, then you can help her with that.
---Eloy on 4/5/11

Hi, Donna . . . again (c: This is an interesting subject, so I'm back for seconds (c: I also think of how Paul says "I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some," in 1 Corinthians 9:22. To the Jew he became "as a Jew", to Gentiles he became "as without law", to weak people "as weak" (1 Corinthians 9:19-23). So, Paul was not conceited or picky about who he loved and cared about (c: I'd say he would mix with people in their real lives so he could talk with them about God and how God would have them live . . . like God "teaches sinners in the way." (Psalm 25:8)
---Bill_willa6989 on 4/5/11

A Christian is a sinner saved by the grace of God through faith in Christ. Even Christ came and sat with sinners. Are we not to do the same as our Savior? Being saved by grace ourself, we must also hope that God will work this grace in our enemies as He did in us.

As a Christian, we have a duty in "Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ." Acts 20:21. Never loose sight of the great commission given by our Lord Jesus Christ, now that He has made us His disciples.
---christan on 4/5/11

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Donna, the facts listed about various things that are sinful are not reasons to avoud her - sins will be there when a person is not saved (and remain in our nature, as long as we live, though God deals with them).

That she wants you to be friends is a gift from God for her.

As long as this friendship is not damaging your walk with God, use it as a way of ministering
---James on 4/5/11

I would approach with cautious optimism.

It could very well be that God has something in store for both of you. Commit this one to prayer.

It could be that she wants to drag you into a lifestyle that would justify hers. Commit this one to prayer.

It could be an opportunity for God's glory, or it could be an opportunity for someone to cry "hypocrite". That would partly depend on what you're telling her about God.

Grace for sinners or unfailing righteousness?
---James_L on 4/4/11

"How much time would you invest in a co-worker who is NOT saved but wants to be your friend?"
As much time as we both desire.
" What would you do?"
Be who I am and allow her to be who she is without criticism or condemnation.
---josef on 4/5/11

So, Donna . . . if you want to have a healing ministry, it is good to share with someone who needs deep healing. And from our own failure and weakness problems, we can understand and feel for others > "He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)

I be friends with whoever will spend time with me. But I always need to keep things open for what God wants to have me do. So, if someone seeks time that I feel is not available, I let the person know this but I say I do want to see the person more.
---Bill_willa6989 on 4/4/11

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First, pray and ask the Lord to give you His love for this friend. Then, seek ways you can befriend her that would give God glory. Invite her to a Ladies Bible Study, or Fellowship Night at church. Ask the Lord to open doors to share with her, and expose her to other believers in nonthreatening settings. Women at my church have knitting nights, and Girls Night Outs, and Bible Studies, and all sorts of opportunities.

Also, if her family has a need, see how the church can meet it. If someone takes sick arrange meals for them, stuff like that.
---Trish9863 on 4/4/11

The best you can.

Obviously, you would not have crossed paths with her were it not in God's providence.
---Cluny on 4/4/11

A true Christian will not have enough in common with an unbeliever simply because your goals in life take you in different directions. However, you can be a friend to someone without "hanging out" all the time. Talk with them often at work, invite them to attend church with you. There are ways to be a friend without "Joining " their lifestyle. Be the type of friend they KNOW they can turn to in a crises for a kind heart, a listening(PRIVATE) ear & prayer. No more is needed.
---Reba on 4/4/11

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