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Older Woman Wants Husband

Can somebody help me? What can you say when a woman in her 40's keep believing for that God's gift husband.

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 ---dj on 4/6/11
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dj: I was a Boy Scout back in the '50s. I've found the Scout's motto (BE PREPARED) to be a life long truism, not only for boys but people of all ages.

Regarding your plea for help, I can only say a real Christian man needs a wife that's an asset (someone who works with, along side of), not a liability (someone who is selfish & wasteful).

I think you know, ALL men need help! :) So, it behoves any Christian woman, regardless of age, to be a skilled "helper". In doing so, she helps herself.

It's all about what you bring to the table that'll get "Mr. Right's" attention! The Godly woman model is seen throughout Scripture. So, BE PREPARED when the window of opportunity opens. God bless!
---Leon on 5/2/11


where does it say that a husband is "Gods gift" or a "Gods gift husband"

If the women were 20,30,50,60, or even 70 years old why would it matter if this is her desire?

The REAL issue is what is the help you are seeking? Encouragement or Discouragement?

The 40 year old women confided in you this is her desire you have absolutely NO RIGHT to offer discouragement. If you cannot believe in her desire give her blessings

thats the problem with so many people today - someone takes the time to confide a deep desire and the person who hears of anothers desire USUALLY tries to tear it down in their ignorant well-meaning way of course
---Rhonda on 4/13/11


Well, I am 63. So, I am not going to say a woman in her 40's is "older" (c: Are you, the moderator, younger than 40's? (c:

lolololol

Well, it is good to keep waiting for what God really has for us. We can take advantage of our time to get ready with Him. And enjoy God, so we then will mainly enjoy Him when He brings gifts for us.

I have had better love with people, now, than I used to hope to have with my wife!

"If someone wants a husband and then pays attention to men, she may not be paying attention to God so He can guide her to the one He has for her!!!"
---Bill_willa6989 on 4/13/11


God took human error into account when He planned each and every soul in the world. My daughter was born out of wed-lock. She is 19 years old now, went to a Christian school from K-12 and now attends a Christian college. She's the most wonderful gift next to salvation that God has ever given to me. She is a blessing to both sides of her family and is gorgeous, talented, funny, and extremely loving. Her dad and I put her first and our differences aside. It CAN be done and when you seek God in raising your child, the whole family is blessed beyond words.
---kim on 4/13/11


Sag -- You don't need to believe in the Bible to see the unfairness to the child born out of wedlock (or the extra burden on a single parent.)Whether you attend church or not, it's far from ideal!.
Perhaps the pastor overstated the "unfairness" of the Bible a bit. Yet it is certainly not "fair" of God to forgive sinners who have done nothing to deserve forgiveness.

I think the "unfairness" argument by critics of the church, is more often than not, the desire to be "excused" for the misbehavior people instinctively know is wrong. Some church people are heavy handed, but many people today reject the idea of "sin" altogether.
---Donna66 on 4/12/11




dj: I feel you have nothing to do with the matter you are asking about. She has her life to live and you have yours. Let her do what she understand as the best thing for her(relying on God). God is never late and does not hurry, but perfect.
---Adetunji on 4/11/11


To have children outside of marriage is not fair to the child and places a very heavy burden on a single parent.
---Donna66 on 4/10/11

At a Spiritual Deliverance meeting, I mentioned that some things in life are just NOT FAIR!

I've had several incidents of Divorces, Remarriages, Out-Of-Wedlock births, etc. in my Extended family. And the outcomes have been difficult.

Well, the Pastor/Group Leader just responded: Nothing In The Bible Is Fair.

Could that be WHY many people just toss the Bible aside without reading it?

And WHY churches seem to be so un-FAIR in how they treat people?

I know many people who have Given Up on churches altogether due to their being so un-FAIR.
---Sag on 4/11/11


It is funny how the rich and famous can get away with the most horrendous acts and antics.Charlie Sheen, Bristol Palin,Lindsey Lohan,Bish Eddie Long to name a few. But a poor man or woman does not stand a snowball's chance in Hell. They are hated for just waking up in the morning.
Bristol Palin is no role model for anyone. She got rich and famous because of her family name. She was a stiff horse on "Dancing with the Stars". Could not dance a lick, but she had the name and the backings. Life is very unfair,sometimes. But there will be justice one day.Soon!
---Robyn on 4/10/11


Robyn-- Yes, of course this woman has missed out on a lot. Some of what she missed out of was hardship and pain as well as joy. But she had opportunities to plot her own path in life and to give to others in ways a married woman could not.
To have children outside of marriage is not fair to the child and places a very heavy burden on a single parent.
Grandma knew best!
---Donna66 on 4/10/11


dj -- Why do you feel the need to say anything in particular, to the unmarried 40 yr old woman?

If she's believing for it, God may yet bring someone wonderful into her life (at least someone just right for her). If you discourage her, what good will you have done?

She's 40 yrs old, hardly a child. Unmarried doesn't mean stupid.
If she never finds someone, she will deal with that... probably without your help.
---Donna66 on 4/10/11




Her grandmother told her not to have kids until she married.She took grandma's advice.She never married,never had kids. Has she missed out anything? Depends on your mindset.
---Robyn on 4/9/11

When Bristol Palin was on the TV show "Dancing With The Stars", I almost tried DIVING into my TV set to meet her on stage!

On second thought, helping her raise Her, and Levi Johnston's, son would be a challenge. Bristol is now Rich, but both she, her son, have a challenging life. Ask any single mother.

I think that your colleague was being WISE in following her grandmother's advice. It sounds like Bristol Pallin is trying to help young girls recognize the importance of that same advice!
---Sag on 4/10/11


Just wanted to share this: I worked with a middle aged women once. Her grandmother told her not to have kids until she married.She took grandma's advice.She never married,never had kids. Has she missed out anything? Depends on your mindset.
---Robyn on 4/9/11


The old "God helps those who help themselves" is a total crock! From experience I have learned that total dependence on God is the answer. That may mean that God may answer your prayer in a way you might not agree with. He may say no. He may say yes. He may say wait. This depending on God totally and waiting on him develops patience, perseverance and faith.

You need to mature and become strong enough to have total faith in God and wait for his timing and his will for you.

God helps those who can't help themselves. Remember that!
---poopsey on 4/9/11


there is nothing wrong in waiting for the Lord.God is concerned with all our well being..even the very hairs of our head are all numbered (Matthew 10:30).so if God can be concerned with that..will He not be concerned with our future relationships?just be sensitive to God's leading and do your part while you wait..socialize and mingle (c:
---mj on 4/8/11


God does not do everything for us. We must do something to help ourselves
---Robyn on 4/8/11

Great Advice!

Where we are capable, I believe that God wants us to work, and make an effort, to accomplish things. That might include:

Finding a Spouse
Finding a Job
Keeping ourselves Healthy
Managing our Finances
Other Things ???

If God did everything for us, we would remain Newborn Babies and NEVER learn. Instead, God wants us to Work, Learn, and GROW!
---Sag on 4/8/11


I have said it before and will say it again: God does not do everything for us. We must do something to help ourselves, also. Even when it comes to being born again, we must do something! We have a free will. If it is for you to be married you will have to do something to acquire the thing that you are seeking. You need to attend a church that has eligible men there, your age! You must accept invitations. Invite a nice man, over for coffee or a nice homecooked meal.Let family and friends know you are looking for a male friend.There are many things you can do. You have to put yourself in a position to be blessed. That's for anything in life.
---Robyn on 4/8/11


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It's hard to be an unmarried at 40.(esp. if you have no children). Everyone you know has children, and their main interest is centered around home and family. You feel you have nothing to contribute.

But Donna5535 makes a very good point. Make Jesus, first and foremost, your husband (no it's not the same... but in a lot of ways it's better).
Offer up to Him every one of your desires. Quit being anxious about your unmarried state...God may yet have some great things in store for you other than marriage. This is NOT an easy task.

You will be more attractive to men if you allow God to to help you form a fulfilling life as a single. Then, whether or not you find a husband, your life will not be without meaning.
---Donna66 on 4/7/11


My answer to the woman in her 40's is something Jesus said in Matthew 21:22, AND ALL THINGS,WHATSOEVER YE SHALL ASK IN PRAYER,BELIEVING,YE SHALL RECEIVE.
---Reba on 4/7/11


I believe I agree with 1st.cliff on this one.
---shirley on 4/6/11


James, **whether God wants her to marry**??
God could care less whether you marry or not! If you want a husband .."go find one"!
It's like waiting for the bus ,that's already gone..futile.
it's this kind of nonsense that really floors me. Find me a husband, find me a job, find me this and that..
If all people were that helpless we would be living in caves!
Personally I think it's that people are afraid of "failure" I know many personally that "married in the Lord" and are totally miserable! True!
Do your (own)homework!
---1st_cliff on 4/6/11


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dj, Isaiah 54 says, "For your maker is your Husband, the Lord of Host is His name."

In the Gospel of John, Chapter 16 Jesus calls himself the husbandman.

In Jeremiah, God says, "I will betroth (marry) you to me."

When one takes Jesus as their Husband first and foremost, then I believe God will send her an earthly husband. I have friends who have been waiting 30 years for a husband and neither one of them is willing to lay that desire down. Have you laid it down at the altar of God?
---Donna5535 on 4/6/11


We are told that not all will marry (some have made themselves for the sake of God - not a literal translation, I know)

So the question is whether God wants her to marry larry late, or not at all
---James on 4/6/11


It's possible. I know a couple that didn't marry until they were 45.

However, if she is looking for her "missing piece" and thinks that's all she needs to be happy, she's dooming herself and whomever she marries to misery. Marriage only works between two WHOLE people, and even then it's difficult.

(BTW, this is Shel Silverstein's children's book THE MISSING PIECE: A partial circle, looking like Pac Man, goes around trying to find his missing piece. Once he finds it, he rolls around totally out of control.)
---Cluny on 4/6/11


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