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Black Woman Wants White Man

I am a young (23) Christian woman, (Black) and I'm attracted to (white) men only. I don't understand why it's so hard to come across (White) men who are Christians. It's hard to catch the attention of a (white) guy. I know what I want in a husband, will God consider what I want and what I'm attracted to?

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 ---mary8589 on 4/9/11
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This blog only highlights the petty superficiality of a great many people (Christian & non-Christian). Scripture says it best: "...for man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." 1 Sam. 16:7

Mary: I'm an old (63) Christian (African-American ~ Black) man. I believe if that's what floats your boat, go for it! But, be careful of what you ask for because you just might get IT & IT may not be "all that" you imagined IT would be. Remember, Father "God" really knows what's best for you. So, if He sends a Christian man, who looks & "swaggers" like Shrek into your life, you'd be wise to go with IT, regardless of his culture! :)
---Leon on 4/16/11


mary, let me put things another way.

If you expect God to follow your plans about your preferences for a husband, there are probably other things you are expecting God to perform your will on.

You have things backwards.

IN ALL things you should pray to him, "THY will be done, not mine," after the example of Jesus.
---Cluny on 4/16/11


\\(Cluny) so ur implying that i should stick to my own race?? because thats what God wants for me..??
---mary8589 on 4/15/11\\

I don't pretend to know what God wants for you. I have enough challenge being sensitive to what God wants for me.

My point is you have your priorities backwards. We obey God, not He us.

You have a very warped attitude expecting God to consider what YOU want, be it the race of your husband or anything else.

Rather, you should be seeking what God wants for YOU.
---Cluny on 4/16/11


Trav, in saying IT IS BETTER FOR TWO CHRISTIANS to marry with eachother after they agree on their doctrine, is because of PRACTICAL and not dogmatic reasons. you say TWO CHRISTIANS with trhe same ideology but another skin SIN AGAINST GOD when they marry. and again you take two words of someone and change its meaning. am I justiffying what i do? no are you deifying a diabolic idea? YES. may God have mercy on you.
---andy3996 on 4/16/11


I understand Mary. Thanks for the clarification.
---Josef on 4/15/11




(Cluny) so ur implying that i should stick to my own race?? because thats what God wants for me..??
---mary8589 on 4/15/11


mary, wouldn't it be better to conform your life to what God wants for you, instead of expecting God to follow YOUR program?
---Cluny on 4/15/11


i have love for my white men, but i dont want to spend the rest of my life with a black men...because i already have living with my older brothers
(CULTURE)

SO IF UR A WHITE CHRISTIAN MAN SAY WOOP!! WOOOOP!!! LOL EVERY BODY NEEDS TO CHILAX!! :)
---mary8589 on 4/15/11


(Josef)Everyones is saying its more than just skin color, and i understand this, I like the culture, and character of a white guy. Im attracted to the way white guys act and talk, and walk. I am not just looking at skin color alone, i like the full package of a white guy. I grew up around alot of black guys, can i want something different from what im used to? ive considered more than just the skin color of a white man. culture makes a big difference in a persons character. white womem that want black guys feel the same way. the Swagger, & approach of a black man vs white guy is completely different. I find the swagger of a white guy more attractive. but thats just me, i can only speak for myself.
---mary8589 on 4/15/11


I shall ask again...
What will we do when we get to Heaven and Jesus looks like the one we hated most on earth?
---Elder on 4/15/11




"But i just want to know if Gods gonna consider the physical attributes too, its more than just skin color..." Mary, Please expound. Thanks
---Josef on 4/15/11


.... and preferably from the same LINE of doctrine.
---andy3996 on 4/14/11

andy,
Was openminded in ignorance myself until scripture spoke.
You justify what you do, because you made the leap.
It's enough your heart told you before hand and continues afterwards. You still stand alone before GOD with your error multiplied by promotion.

Sad is a Christian: Not knowing or seeking scripture, and fearfully choosing ignorance. So be it.
Jeremiah 20:11
But the LORD is with me as a mighty terrible one: therefore my persecutors shall stumble, and they shall not prevail: they shall be greatly ashamed, for they shall not prosper: their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten.
---Trav on 4/15/11


thanks Donna66, you have a point
---mary8589 on 4/15/11


Norman thanks!!!thats FAITH!!
---mary8589 on 4/15/11


trav, it is sad that you still confuse different religions with different skincolour. to have another religion is a free choice. anyone chooses his own ideology. to have another skincolour is the many coloured wisdom of God. that you use the prophetical books to condemn two-thirds of todays true Christians i think is pathetic, and with a mind like this you need to repent. if you dont like to be married with another ethnical group is your own choice but dont' make theology out of your own desire for personal gain and pleasure, didn't you mention Balaam? well, he who the shoe fits...
---andy3996 on 4/14/11


TO BE CLEAR however i do condone with other coloured people to intermarry since there is ONE PEOPLE THAT GOD CREATED in HIS OWN IMAGE! i do not agree with different religions to inter-marry.-animist, muslim,, jew, and christian should stick to their own religion in matters of marriage. and preferably from the same LINE of doctrine. however if two christians can agree with eachother to centre christ in their relation, even that is not to be condemned. but beware it is more difficult for two theologies to live in harmony then for seven demons to live in peace.he who has an ear.
---andy3996 on 4/14/11


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I am white and married to a black man. My family is from the south and have been prejudice. Before I met Bob I was surrounded by white christian men but I became drawn to black men. I felt like something was wrong with me and asked God to give me the man he wanted and He gave me Bob. My family loves him. In seven years together we have never had a problem with racial remarks. God is using us in so many ways. Wait on God.
---Betty on 4/14/11


Fully undersatnd. I am a white man of God who could not find a woman of God who was Black, that's all I wanted. After a year online just here I found my wife. Be careful and ask quiestions about the bible,and church they go to. God will fulfill your desire that's a promise he gave us.
---Norman on 4/14/11


Mary--If you have a long list of qualities you want, don't expect God to bring someone with them all. He always knows better than we do, who will be best for us.

You may pass up God's best if you try to stick too closely to your list. Or in finding someone who seems to fit your ideal, you may end up miserable because he may be lacking in ways you never thought to consider.

Submit every potential relationship to God in prayer. Act as He leads, not entirely as your flesh desires.
---Donna66 on 4/14/11


Trav ......inter marry and get away with it too!!!
---Carla on 4/13/11

Lol. Your "tell". Wording "Get Away With It". Acknowledges the heart of error.
It's not trav that wrote the outcome. The choice is individuals to make.

Psalm 119:128
Therefore I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right,I hate every false way.
Jer3:25
We lie down in our shame, our confusion covereth us: for we have sinned against the LORD our God, we and our fathers, from our youth even unto this day,have not obeyed the voice of the LORD our God.

Jer 7:19
Do they provoke me to anger? saith the LORD: do they not provoke themselves to the confusion of their own faces?
---Trav on 4/14/11


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(Carla) you didnt answer the question like some of the rest, i have a journal of all the spiritual attributes i want in a man, written in a journal. But i just want to know if Gods gonna consider the physical attributes too, its more than just skin color... I'm well developed as a young Christian woman, I sumed up the spiritual attributes in a man when I said a(Christian)To be a Christian one must be christ like.
---mary8589 on 4/14/11


The fact that you are being specific about the skin color of a person rather than the heart of an individual in terms of knowing God and being a servant of God first. If I know any sensible men I would run a 1000 miles in the opposite direction simply becasue you display the personality of an unwise woman.

Try aking for a completely changed, spirit led, God fearing, God filled, righteous life, you just may get your request!!!!!

as for a Godly sensible man NAWH!
---Carla on 4/13/11


Trav is a racist don't converse with his bigotry view of inter racial relationships soon he'll tell you what should happen to people who inter marry and get away with it too!!!
---Carla on 4/13/11


(andy3996) AMEN!! Preach! lol! Thats what im talking about!!! AMEN thats what i needed to hear!...lol
---mary8589 on 4/13/11


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In christ there is no more jew, greek, barbarian nubian, kaukasian or asiatic but all are one in Christ Jesus
---andy3996 on 4/13/11

Well, adding to scripture and taking away may subdue your heart an a convert or too...but to what blessing? Balaam's.
Num 31:16
Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the LORD in the matter of Peor, there was a plague among the congregation of the LORD.
Revelation 2:14
But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication.
---Trav on 4/13/11


In christ there is no more jew, greek, barbarian nubian, kaukasian or asiatic but all are one in Christ Jesus.
---andy3996 on 4/13/11

Right On The Mark!

The same applies to whatever churches we were born into.

Whatever differences there might be -- Racial, Theological, Traditional, etc. -- they are SURPASSED, SUPERCEDED, and REPLACED by the LOVE and GRACE of Jesus Christ!

I'm surprised that Pastors and Churches don't teach about this even more.

Sometimes, I wonder if they just like to keep people: Wondering, Bickering, Complaining, etc. about Inter-Racial, or Mixed-Religion, marriages.

With Jesus Christ in your life, there in NO such thing!
---Sag on 4/13/11


mary8589, im white and proud, married an african beauty.i"m from europe straight and she's from Ghana africa. by now we have 5 children which are beauties of beauties.
when i was a young man, i really disliked white women's form and colour. and still do anyhow, -fact is when i asked God to provide me a wife he really took my personal physical preferences in account as well. so to answer on your question, HE WHO WAITS UPON THE LORD SHALL NOT BE DECEIVED. simmilation and dissimilation is not even a question in our marriage, as Moses did not even think about the fact his wife was black and HE WAS Jew when Miriam spoke against it, God dealt with it. note that it was God who ghot angry and not Moses or his wife).
---andy3996 on 4/13/11


to all thoise who still see difference MELANIN is the answer on differnce of skin colour, an white an black differ aproximately as much genetically as two jewish brother with same mother or father. the invention of races is straight from the devil. so In christ there is no more jew, greek, barbarian nubian, kaukasian or asiatic but all are one in Christ Jesus
---andy3996 on 4/13/11


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Mary8595. when we ghot married, i remember being on my way to Africa, and i met four people who told me about every problem they've met being married with someone of "another race". but basically after 11 years of marriage, i have not encountered any of these "racial problems" others talked about. yet indeed there have been bad and worse days, as there where good and better days. one little remark still since both of us are very identity-aware, the bishop that married us laughed saying "God is great, how he can put two alike hundred-percenters that differ in everything toghether".Yes it was God that brought us toghether. and familie? i heve the greatest motherinlaw ever knowing she doesnt understand my languages.
---andy3996 on 4/13/11


Robyn-- Who was "finger pointing"? A stereotype is, BY DEFINITION, a mental image that is held of a group or class of people that is usually oversimplified and inaccurate. Stereotypes EXIST, (stereotypical people do not).
Black people hold stereotypes about White people. (Remember Obama's "my typically white grandmother"?)White people have them about Black people.. Mark Eaton describes it well. . Stereotypes are largely unconscious.

That's why I advised Mary "to make it clear to any white men you may be interested in, that you are not the stereotypical "African-American woman".
---Donna66 on 4/12/11


FOR THE RECORD...

Stereotyping, Hunches, Intuition etc. are all very accurate readings.

It is based on millions of impulses that hit the subconscious and are more accurate than conscious opinions.

The adage...

"Who you are speaks so loudly, I cant hear what you're saying." is very true!
---John on 4/12/11


Moses married an Ethiopian woman who was also called a Midianite because she lived in Midia, just as Midian women living in Moab were called daughters of Moab.
The suggestion there was no such thing as Ethiopia is absurd. Abyssinia or the Land of Punt is in fact the oldest state in the world and very close to the location of the world's oldest human DNA.
---larry on 4/12/11


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Mark_Eaton, I understand your veiw point, but I choose white men based on the last relationship I had with one & (attraction), but he didnt know Jesus, and he didnt consider himself to be a Christian. He and I had alot in common, both artist, had fun making art together... but if your not into black women only becuase of what you see on television/media, thats just foolishness. I can understand if you had some experiences with them, and thats why you choose to not date them, thats understandable. You should at least try like I did, to confirm, lol! My very first BF was Black American, and 4 years passed, said that I would give them 1more shot, and I knew for sure, God dint create me to be with a black man, but i atleast tried it all.
---mary8589 on 4/12/11


Robyn---Your generalizations about Blacks, complimentary though they may be, are stereotypes. Are they all "strong"? Have they all been through "much misery and pain".
What about black Africans and black Australian Aborigines? What knowledge do you have of their "misery and pain"? Many black people I've known are loving and forgiving. But some are bitter, hateful and cruel. Just like some white people.
---Donna66 on 4/12/11


Robyn, you said:
"People and their evil minds(the white race)...."

Seems a racist thing to say. Why the glowing report on black people but denigrating slur against whites?

Apart from skin color, cultural differences, we are similar.

Mark_Eaton is right though, we each have our own preferences. Regardless of whether it is size, shape, race, culture, height, there is nothing wrong with that.
As for his view that black women are "bossy, confrontational, etc", unfortunately that is women in general, regardless of race, especially as they get older, (according to reseach).
Mary, there will be white Christian men attracted to you as we see enough mixed race marriages around to know it happens.
---Haz27 on 4/12/11


Donna: There are no sterotypical black women.Regardless of what you have heard. Black women come in all colors,shapes and sizes.Some are ignorant,stupid,illiterate as there are in all the other races in this world.People and their evil minds(the white race) brought this kind of thinking and attitudes to the Western World and it is still here today! But Blacks are some of the most loving and forgiving people on the face of this earth. They are a strong people who have been through a lot of misery and pain. If you don't understand your past(anyone) you certainly can't conquer the future.Finger pointing is not going to solve anything.
---Robyn on 4/12/11


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Mary:

No one seemed to answer your question. Perhaps I can.

I am a white male, much older than yourself. I have been married four times to women of various looks, various sizes, and various races, (American, Mexican, French, and Scandinavian), However, I am not attracted to black women.

It is because of the stereotypes you mentioned. My "vision" of black women are: they are loud, they are bossy, they are confrontational, they are needy, and they are demanding.

Is this correct? No way. I know that, but it impacts my thinking and ultimately my tastes.
---Mark_Eaton on 4/12/11


Psalm 37:4 says that "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart".
delighting means drawing near to God through reading His words and prayer.doing this-you will never know that you are conforming to what God desires for you.submitting to His plan rather than pursuing your own plan.
---mj on 4/12/11


Mary8589:

Your society and the world have told you that the physical differences between individuals were important. And in some cases, professing christians would like you to think that God takes note of such differences.

Well, the God who created the universe, you and any man to whom you are attracted is the same God who says that He recognizes no difference among the human beings that He has created.

In terms of race, God present no barrier to whom you may marry. When that issue is raised know that the ruler of the systems of world is directing it.
---Allan on 4/12/11


YES!! God wants to give you the desires of your heart! Don't fall victim to generalizations, but instead be still and wait on God. Keep your eyes on Him and work on building a close relationship with God. Talk to Him about what you want. Pray the prayer of Jabez! He will bless you, just be patient. It has been my experience that God does not work the way we do - going from point A to point B. Instead, you will be able to look back and see how intricately he weaves his plan, so that when it comes to fruition you will know it could have only occurred the way it did through His divine handi-work. He is an AMAZING God that loves us so much and truly cares about what we want. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path!
---nancy5347 on 4/12/11


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You state that you are a Christian, and as Christians our minds are to be focused on Christ. (Isaiah 26:2-4). If you are putting Christ first in everything you do: consistent pray, church attendance and bible study, things will come together. However, you also have to be mature mentally, emotionally and financial to be in a serious/romantic relationship, otherwise it wont work.

Your best bet is to be specific in telling God what type of man you want and then let it go. God wont forget what you tell him or the things you do for him. Concentration on pleasing God and he will give you the desires of your heart in Psalm 37:3-5 when hes ready.
---Yolanda on 4/11/11


Mary-- From what you say, you really don't identify with "African-American culture", thus the average black man who does, has less in common with you in your attitudes and ideas. Would you find Caribbean black men more interesting?
Anyway, I think you will need to make it clear to any white men you may be interested in, that you are not the stereotypical "African-American woman". Some may unconsciously hold back because they assume things about you that are not true.
---Donna66 on 4/11/11


My dear sister I am a white male and can tell you that there is nothing special you can do, just be the beautiful Godly women you are, that is what attracts Godly men. The most important thing you can do is pray and be patient. Remember "our Father knows what we have need of before we ask".
P.S. A women has always been a women to me so don't be afraid to show interest in someone there are some of us out their.
---ryan on 4/11/11


Personally, I think James_L has offered you the best advice, so far. I'd take it and run with it.

Your generation is a lot more open-minded about interracial dating. Some of older generations are still troubled by the idea, but that's life. Do you anyway.
---AlwaysOn on 4/11/11


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I have heard it said that people sometimes despise their own race and therefore,marry or date outside of it. That is not a very healthy or godly reason to date someone or marry them. People are people. There are many differences in other races. We know this already. But I think people should go out of their way to get to know other races and their culture. Especially christians who are called to love others, as we love ourselves. Prejudice is a terrible character defect. One not easily gotten over. Some people feel one race is superior to another and all of that crap. There is beauty and love in all races.Differences but love can conquer,all.
---robyn on 4/11/11


Mary8589: God has HIS own plan(always). It's better to find out what's God's plan for you and key into it. But mankind cannot totally grasp God. You have to pray till you receive a message from HIM.
---Adetunji on 4/11/11


Hi, Mary . . . It says, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21) So, I would say not to let people's evil decide what you do.

And Jesus is "gentle and lowly in heart", He says in Matthew 11:29. And we are commanded to relate "with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love," (Ephesians 4:2) So - - - I offer, that Christian people of any race become gentle.

So, I would not judge all "black" men by what is true of those who are ungentle and therefore are not obeying how God commands us to be. The ones you have known do not represent anyone but their own selves.
---Bill_willa6989 on 4/11/11


Zipporah Moses wife was Ethiopian, and the lost Jews in Ethipoia, come from that lineage. do your research! (Trav)

She was Midian, not a Moabite!, her father high priest, Jethro of Midian. Moses had two sons by her, (Read Exodus2:15-25 & Exodus3:1).

The only confusion that i will cause is if i married my ex-boyfriend who's Sudanese a Muslim man. he doesnt look black or white & speaks Arabic??? yet his skin is darker than mine!
---mary8589 on 4/10/11


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(Robyn), I have 6 sisters and 3 brothers, I have one brother who dates outside of his race, and i am the only female in my family that dates outside of my race, Im not attracted to Black American men, what so ever, No matter how tall and goodlooking they are, i cant, something in me gets sick, its as if im dating one of my brothers,(blood brothers). This is why attration is so important, i dont care how intelligent a black man is. I know that its something psychology deeper. theres not really just one answer for this. I have alot to say , but there isnt enough room, (white males are more (gentle and nurturing) most STEREOTYPES are true for (whites and blacks),(women & men) these are things to consider. you man not understand what im saying.
---mary8589 on 4/10/11


Mary

I am a white man and I am married to a Filipino woman and their are huge cultural differences.
We through Christ seem to always rise and conquer as will you in a bi-racial marriage.
Just be aware it is going to be an issue and prepare for it, as with all marriage.

God Bless, Paul
---paul on 4/10/11


My people are the people within the body of Christ, (black people are not my people)Its not important that I raise my children to know all about the history of Harriet Tubman and slavery,I rather teach them how to have a relationship with there Jesus, and preach the gospel to those that dont believe. Im not even worthy to say I am African American, because Im not,(i dont know anyone in my family whos from Africa/ speaking the language). I go by Black American, because my grandmother was a Native American Indian. Most people mistake me for bing Native American or Spanish anyways. [People are getting off the subject] this is not the point
---mary8589 on 4/10/11


Mary, before taking the plunge. As in everyone who considers marriage. Realize its not all about you. You need to consider the future of your children and relationships. This applies not just to this particular subject, but everything.

Especially applies to people of different religions. That could be a real problem when they have kids.

---John on 4/10/11


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mary-- Even if you think you are attracted to white men only, don't refuse to date a black man. I know many people who ended up happily married to someone who was not at all like the persons to whom they were at one time attracted. God knows exactly who is best for you, black or white, let Him guide you.
---Donna66 on 4/10/11


Trav is now getting personal and trying to meddle in people's personal lives. No one here is answerable to him, whether he thinks they are or not.
---John.usa on 4/10/11


Mary is correct to point to Numbers 12, the most high profile issue of race raised involving God directly in scripture. However God's response was not over her race but what he had ordained and grumbling which God hates.
The lesson is that if God says its okay its okay.
The trouble with people who have trouble with interacial marriages is not in the eye but the heart.
They may attempt to use scripture to support their argument but at its core its hate of God's creation and God. People think 1 John 4:20 is a joke and they are playing games. with God. Its a dangerous position.
If we all are descendents of Adam and Eve what's the problem?
---larry on 4/10/11


Mary. You ask a very important question. You will see many answers to this question here but only God can help you come to terms with this situation.If you like white men, so be it. That's who you are. We all are created by God. We all are human. Why do you not want to marry within your race? I am just curious. You are very young and may change your mind, later on. There are many men who are eligible for marriage.Don't limit yourself to black or white. But when it comes to the issue of race, we all have a long ways to go. Prejudice is alive and well all over the world. It is born out of ignorance,jealousy, fear and every imaginable evil you can think of. It is not of God. It is a scourge that needs to be done away with.GBU
---Robyn on 4/10/11


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(Trav) sounds ignorant, it clearly states in the Bible: And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.

2And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us? And the LORD heard it.

3(Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.)

Numbers 12:1-4).. If there way a reason for Moses not to marry her. would have been her religion, not skin color! God made blacks and whites.. and he intended for us to blend, and when I do Im gonna post a picture ... lol
---mary8589 on 4/10/11


If a person is a true Christian, the race or ethnicity of other people should not be an issue.

Many years ago, I was engaged to marry an Asian Lady. Her Pastor (a Calvinist) forbade our marrying, saying we would be unequally yoked together, because of our different race and culture.

---Rob on 4/10/11

My friends, and myself too, have encountered similar Pastoral disapprovals.

Sometimes, we wonder if it was all just a "Cover Up" for something they didn't like:

Not having a good enough job to contribute mega-millions to THEIR church & ministry.

Inter-Racial marriages are not POPULAR in THEIR church & ministry.

Etc. Etc. Left wondering.

Not very Christian at all!
---Sag on 4/10/11


"I dont care if others dont accept us, I only care if God accepts"

Would God accept a relationship which saw you rejected by your people, your husband rejected by his people, and any children rejected by both?
---alan8566_of_uk on 4/10/11


God is not a respector of colors, all of the human race(colors) are from him. You need to look more into if this person is serving God. that is where the heart of the matter is v.s. you choosing white men only.
---candice on 4/10/11


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Take a look around your town and notice that people of mixed race are all around you. Don't listen to the nonsense that there will be lots of racists remarks. The percentage of minorities in this country has changed to make them now the majority. Stop looking at the outside. Start looking at the inside.
---KarenD on 4/10/11


I'll defer to Trav to answer this lady's question.
---John.usa on 4/9/11

You're being "lukewarm" John. Ask your wife if you can speak...or show you proper scriptures to post? Does she know you play here??
Lady is attracted to another race to the point of giving her possible offspring a blended heritage. Selfishly. Not considering the confusion of the children.
GOD did not intend us to create or "multi blend".
Otherwise he would have himself.
Moses wife as Ruth were a Moabite...there was no ethiopia in Moses time. Moab was related through lot. Moses of all people,would not commit the error of Balaam....that many promote here. Even CNet...look above.
---Trav on 4/10/11


I dont care if others dont accept us, I only care if God accepts, Thats not my concern, and example of that is in Numbers 12:16 Moses marrid an Etheopian woman,and his sister Miriam, and brother Aaron, spoke against him because he married Zipporah.I guess American Christians are just as racist, Racist people are bound by the enemy, and the love of God is not in you. One of the commandments says, to love your neighbor as you love yourselves. This is one of the reason why I may be so attracted to what seems to be so wrong in the eyes of others, yet so right in the eyes of God. Im gonna pray hard on this. :)
---mary8589 on 4/10/11


"Will God consider what I want and what I'm attracted to?" Of course.
However He would also admonish you to "Trust in [Him] with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He [will] direct your paths." You are still young Mary8589 "Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him" Pro 3:5,6>Psa 37:7 You will have no problem "catching the attention" of a man who is "attracted" to you, regardless of the color of His skin.
---josef on 4/10/11


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(part 1) Mary,
If you read the book of Ruth, it might encourage you.

2:2 "Please let me go to the field and glean among the ears of grain after one in who's sight I may find favor"

2:5 Then Boaz said..."Whose young woman is this?"

2:10 she said to him "Why have I found favor in your sight that you should take notice of me?"

2:11-12 "All that you have done...and came to a people that you did not previously know...May the Lord reward you for your work."

4:10 Boaz said "I have aquired Ruth to be my wife"

4:11 the people said "May the Lord make the woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah, both of whom built the house of Israel.
---James_L on 4/10/11


(part 2) Mary,
Things to notice about Ruth:

She was willing to assimilate into a culture not her own

She was faithful in the moment (to Naomi and God)

She took the initiative to go to where she might find favor with a man

She went there to work, but also with the intention of getting noticed

And after that...

3:3-4 "Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor...."

My advice? Be faithful right now, where God has you this moment. Attend a predominantly white church. Get involved in the work there, no matter how menial it may seem. GIve a guy something !!WOW!! to look at.

Trust in God above all, and pray.
---James_L on 4/10/11


Mary, I was born in the 1950's. I am of mixed race, and mixed culture.

My mother is African American, my father was Italian. My mother is Seventh Day Adventist, my father was Roman Catholic. I am just Christian. I attend a Non-Denominational Bible Church.

Even though my physical characteristics are primaily African American. I can relate to both culltures. This may be because I do have an Italian Sir Name.

If a person is a true Christian, the race or ethnicity of other people should not be an issue.

Many years ago, I was engaged to marry an Asian Lady. Her Pastor (a Calvinist) forbade our marrying, saying we would be unequally yoked together, because of our different race and culture.
---Rob on 4/10/11


Thanks (paul)that really touched me, and gave me GREAT hope. :)
---mary8589 on 4/9/11


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I would like to absorb or assimlate into his, There are equally racist blacks as are whites.I have sisters that are in their late 30's and single because they're still waiting on the perfect Black guy. I can truly say Ive tried all and i like White guys the best, because of (attraction) and (compatibility)
but will God give me the desires of my heart? Im patiently waiting.

---mary8589 on 4/10/11


Mary,
I have 1 friend and 2 aquaintances who are white men married to black women.

Most white people do not live in an ethnic identity, but most black people do. The 3 men I know have assimilated well.

You may not have thought about it, but are you looking for a white man to assimilate into your ethnicity, or are you possibly looking to dissimilate?

One or the other must happen to be successful.

I knew (for a while) a white man who married a Japanese woman. She dissimilated.

I know of a black man with a white wife. He dissimilated.
---James_L on 4/9/11


Mary, whenever I am asked what my race is, including the Census, the response I give is my race is HUMAN
---Rob on 4/9/11


My heart goes out to you, because young folks think that love solves everything. But your family may not accept him, (not really) and his family may not accept you. Do you realize how difficult this will be? The looks, the slurs, the names? And your children will suffer too. How do I know? Because I have witnessed it very closely. A sweet young man who is bi-racial was broken hearted because the little girl he liked in 8th grade was forbidden by her mother to speak to him because he wasn't white.
---Senior_Citizen on 4/9/11


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Ps 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5 Commit thy way unto the LORD, trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass.

If you marry outside your race be prepared for all the racial slurs and hardships attached to a bi-racial marriage.

I wish you well in your search for a Godly man just know there are ramifications involved in it.

God Bless, Paul
---paul on 4/9/11


God looks on the heart of everyone. Not their color,or any other physical feature. However, you're only 23, & I know you don't like to hear this, but you are way too young to say for certain that you are attracted to white men only. As you mature your tastes my change. It's been known to happen. More often than not. Have you considered that God doesn't want you to marry right now,even to a white guy & that's the reason you can't get their attention. Or maybe, the man he has for you is not white so God's waiting for you to accept whomever He wants for you. Don't limit your choices based on the physical appearance. Trust God to give you the one He knows is right for you. Be patient.
---Reba on 4/9/11


I'll defer to Trav to answer this lady's question.
---John.usa on 4/9/11




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