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Wife Spiritual Leader In House

I love a man who does believe in Jesus. I know I would be the spiritual leader, he listens and learns gods love for us through me because he was not that strong. He believes but is not a leader. If I marry this man I know he should be the leader, but we are not equally yoked. So is it wrong to marry him?

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 ---melissa on 4/9/11
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When men are weak, fearful and are Sissys. Then it is up to the Woman to carry the sword of G-d.

That was the example given to us in the story of Debra.

(There are other examples)

But I would never marry one ever! You should find a....MAN of G-d!

Or your entire family structure will collapse!
(always think of the future and your children)
---John on 6/10/11

I totally agree with Francis!
---Rickey on 6/9/11


you don't have to lead. Just build him up, encourage him and share those things you know for his benefit. It is not wrong to encourage him to pray with you and study the bible with you. Nor is it wrong for a women to teach though many may misuse certain scriptures to disagree with this.
---willa5568 on 5/14/11

melissa: Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:

So you CANNOT be the spiritual leader no matter how much you know, and how much more you know than him

Here is some GOOD STRONG advice:
Humble yourself, and allow your husband to be the leader in the home as God would have it. No matter how little scripture you think he knows, If you allow him to be the leader that God would have hm, little then becomes MUCH in the hands of God. Let him be the leader so that God can lead you both.

---Francis on 5/13/11

Genesis Chapter 3 "I (God) will cause strife between you and your husband". The sin of man (male) is passivity. The sin of woman is domination. Read Donna's blog a few items down. I think you have answered your question about marrying him. Wait. Right now he is not the leader so any flaws get intensified not better with a marriage.
---Scott on 5/13/11

both believe where is your idea you are MORE of believer than he is?

what do you measure this belief? Always a mistake to attempt to measure belief and then worse to use it as equal to spiritual maturity

Secondly a man leads his home in ALL manners you may be MORE spiritually mature however MANY are called to God BEFORE spouse WHILE they are married

marriage is unequally yoked when one is a true believer in The Father in Heaven and the other is a non-believer in HIM.

Spiritual maturity is NEVER about measuring ones worth in eyes of another to determine anything

often those who PERCEIVE themselves to be a spiritual leader are the LEAST in spiritual maturity
---Rhonda on 4/15/11

melissa, please listen to me as I speak to you from my heart. I married a man who believed in Jesus. James says, "do you believe, even the demons believe and they shudder." It's not enough to beleive and my husband and I were so unequally yoked that he watched demonic shows while I stayed upstairs praying in the Spirit. You will not become equally yoked if you marry him, is that what you're thinking? You will have painful times of loneliness like I did. If it hadn't been for the Lord, I would have died of a broken heart. I am now divorced because my ex began to beat me up because he became so angry with me and my walk with the Lord. He was very jealous of that love relationship I have with Father God and Jesus and Holy Spirit.
---Donna5535 on 4/13/11

Robyn, you will always be the only one on earth who cares that you "never heard" (and also have an angry "hell" in your mind if you keep doing this).

I did not say that Christianity is "A FEMININE RELIGION" (learn to "LOVE the truth", not "LIKE" it).

"refused to LOVE the truth and SO BE SAVED".

The great Robyn has DECIDED/judged it to be "nonsense" (know it alls NO LONGER have the ability TO LEARN because they have DECIDED that they already know everything). I know you like to JUDGE/evaluate everything and everyone, but let GOD do the deciding/judging...including about "evil people".

Learn what "characterize" means.
---more_excellent_way on 4/12/11

It is not wrong to marry him, but consider what God wants for you. I would suggest praying and fasting specifically for direction. Get away & listen for the Holy Spirit. He will guide you with those "gut feelings" that often over-ridden by our own free-will. Speaking from experience, don't ignore the answer and do what you want to do,it will turn out badly. Always heed God's wisdom, even if it is difficult - you will happier than ever. Go visit a waterfall, or the ocean, or other great natural wonder. This often helps me grasp how much bigger our God is, and just how much He has for us. Study Jeremiah 29:11 and listen to the song by Avalon called The Dreams I Dream For You.
---nancy5347 on 4/12/11

I have never heard that christianity is a feminine religion. Wow! What nonsense comes from the mouth and minds of evil people. Satan will do anything to try and lead people to Hell. And even if that were true,there are gentle and humble men. That does not make them feminine. A real man loves the Lord.
---Robyn on 4/11/11

As a wife you do not have to overpower your spouse when it comes to the things of God. If he is a believer that is a great starting point. Bit just believing is only the beginning. What about his faith and love toward God? That is most important. Part of your duties as a wife is to submit to your husband. We(wives) can suggest and make our desires known also. Submit does not mean we are to sit back and be robots. Eventually he will catch fire from you(keep) being an example.Be a walking testimony wherever you go,with him, and the Lord will bless that and give you the man you desire.
---Robyn on 4/10/11

YES sister and you knew is when you asked the question.
Don't let your concious be seared.
---larry on 4/10/11

"Christianity" has been often characterized as "feminine" because a peaceful and gentle spirit is the goal (women also are more familiar with humility to a father figure...are YOU?)...don't be a spiritual leader, be a spiritual EXAMPLE.

Never emasculate/overpower your husband (preserve his family leadership and remain a gentle/humble "example" of a gentle spirit).

The only spiritual "leader" of a mind should be the owner of it. God wants each of us to be a...

Titus 1:8
"master of himself".

The way that you treat your husband will also be the way that you treat your children (be careful for your children's sake).

Be a spiritual EXAMPLE.
---more_excellent_way on 4/10/11

My wife doesn't dominate, she's just more more in tune with the spirit than I am. We have a good marriage. :-)
---John.usa on 4/10/11

I married my husband & he's not into the leader role, he leaves the bible up to me to teach the children.Our husbands can learn by our meek examples.If he doesn't want to lead ,that leaves you. better to hve 1 parent or spouse lead the way with scriptures v.s. no one leads.
---candice on 4/10/11

Oh for Pete's sake Cluny! One doesn't have to boss a spouse around to be the more spiritual one, as in the case of John's wife--she is a blessing to him if she's more spiritual!
---Mary on 4/10/11

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\\Hi John.usa, you sound like a wonderful husband! God bless you and your dear wife. :)
---Mary on 4/9/11\\

Have you ever read what C. S. Lewis said in MERE CHRISTIANITY about the reaction of neighbors when the wife is the dominant spouse?

It usually goes something like, "That poor Mr. Jones. Why he allows that woman to boss him around is something I'll never understand."
---Cluny on 4/10/11

scriptural reference to being unequally yoked has nothing to do with what you are saying or thinking,it refers to marrying a non believer.I woulod suggest he attend a men class that has its major theme in teaching men to be the leader.
---tom2 on 4/9/11

Hi John.usa, you sound like a wonderful husband! God bless you and your dear wife. :)
---Mary on 4/9/11

He may be stronger than you are willing to give him credit for, melissa.

The thing is, would you be content to follow HIS lead?

Probably not.
---Cluny on 4/9/11

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Unequally yoked does not mean at the same spiritual maturity level. Is he a born-again believer or does he just believe the things you tell him? If he's not saved then you answered your own question. You said,"but we are not equally yoked." By saying this you must know what the Bible says about it. You already know the answer.2Cor.6:14,Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communication hath light with darkness?
---Reba on 4/9/11

Among Christians there isn't supposed to be any classism, racism or sexism (Gal.3:28). Whoever is fittest can lead. My wife is the spiritual one in our family. We've been married 45 years and it hasn't done us any harm.
---John.usa on 4/9/11

Hi, Melissa . . . Are you planning on things staying the way they are, now???

We can hope and pray for God to make us ourselves honest with Him, so we are interested in doing what He really wants.

And be his good example so he becomes how God can have him become. And it is right to wait while he is sharing with mature Christian men who help him. And you can spend this time with couples who are your good example so you can learn how to make a marriage work.

We don't need to just judge this, but do what is in good judgment (c:
---Bill_willa6989 on 4/9/11

If you and he are both believer's then you are not unequally yoked. I would say that you are not to be the spiritual leader and if he refuses to take the lead then the best you are going to get is to bring up the topics and share your feelings and insights about the faith with him.

Some people are quiet and reserved and not so vocal about their feelings and thoughts. My husband is like this and it does frustrate me to some extent but I still know he is a believer in Christ.

So maybe focus on sharing instead of leading. The Holy Spirit is the teacher and you can read the Bible just like anyone else.

Then again, if you think you can't handle his passiveness in this area then it would be wise to find a more aggressive man.
---poopsey on 4/9/11

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