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Husband Women With No Job

We have been married for 14 year, blessed with 4 girls. My husband seems to have problems with women and have hurt me lots of times I love him but now something is pushing me to leave him. He always says he loves me but keep hurting me. He has no regular job and I wonder why he keeps doing that?

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 ---Julie on 4/13/11
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He keeps doing that because he knows you will allow it. Why he doesn't have a job is because he doesn't want one that is out of his "comfort zone". There are jobs out there, but maybe not what he likes, or maybe the pay isn't as good as he wants. Most retail and fast food places have a rapid turnover of workers, and are always hiring, but the pay is very low. He may have to work a double to get the money he needs. Or, if your 4 daughters can take care of themselves, you may have to work, and they may have to work-if they don't already.
---wivv on 6/11/11


//Of course, Julie, there's no way that you could ever have hurt your husband, now is there?
---Cluny on 4/15/11//

Father, in the name of Jesus I bind that critical spirit in Cluny in Jesus name. You foul spirit, you are bound in the name of Jesus and you cannot operate in Cluny anylonger. In Jesus name I pray, thank you Father God.
---Donna5535 on 4/19/11


Usually a man that has a problem with women will show his true colors early in the relationship. Did you have your specs on? Fourteen yrs of marriage and 4 daughters. Why did you give this man, this much of your life? After the first child you should have been concerned about this problem. You don't keep having kid after kid, for a person like this. It only makes it worse in the long run and can possibly ruin five other lives(you and your 4 daughters).
---robyn on 4/18/11


Why have you waited 14 years before taking any action? My suggestion is you find a Christian Marriage Counselor. In the meantime, you might ask him why he has this problem with women. If you have 4 girls, they need to be taught that this not the way a husband is to treat his wife.
---wivv on 4/16/11


\\A man is to cherish his wife, and Love her as God Loves the church if this woman feels he is hurting her, dont sound like much cherishing is taking place,\\

And a woman who feels she's being hurt will never have a mistaken perception of her husband's actions, will she?
---Cluny on 4/16/11




it is written... A man is to cherish his wife, and Love her as God Loves the church if this woman feels he is hurting her, dont sound like much cherishing is taking place, I say to you "pray" for yourself, your husband and your daughters! satan is busy destroying families, be safe, i think 14 yrs of marriage you know the difference in being hurt and feeling love, he shouldnt even speak to you harshely..
---malinda on 4/15/11


Of course, Julie, there's no way that you could ever have hurt your husband, now is there?
---Cluny on 4/15/11


This is all simple, he's not awake to his own behavior, only God and a sober mind can lend you that.

The desires of the heart if not denied make wayward children of all of us, look what it's done to you...nothing personal but your considering ending your marriage to a man that does love you but can't pull himself together...desire is not wrong, but it can be if not tempered with mercy and grace. You get to decide what your mud pie looks like.

If you've been cheated on your not wrong to want to leave, from what I've seen even Jesus can't blame you, see matthew 19
---busy_body on 4/15/11


Julie, has your husband hurt you physically?

Or merely hurt your feelings, even without meaning to?

How long has this been going on?
---Cluny on 4/14/11


Sag, you said, "However, I never imagined that 'hurting someone else' could be a LUST." With sexual lust comes Satan's personality which also includes how he despises and uses and abuses people. For example, God said David "despised" God while involved in taking Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12:10). 2 Samuel 13 shows how Amnon got lovesick for Tamar, and used trickery and force to get what his lust wanted, then . . . he . . . "hated her exceedingly" (2 Samuel 13:15). With Satan's lusts is his hate, ready to go.
---Bill_willa6989 on 4/14/11




'My husband seems to have problems with women and have hurt me lots of times'

This is not clear enough for me to be sure whether what your husband is doing is directly sinful (flirting, adultery, etc) or just things that you are not able to handle

It would be good to know exactly what the 'problems' are, and what exactly has hurts you

Sorry, I know it is a heavy question, but it better to know that before offerring advice
---Peter on 4/14/11


He is acting out on his lusts and you are allowing him to.
God Bless, Paul
---paul on 4/13/11

This is something that I've always wondered about. Both WITHIN the church, and OUTSIDE too.

I've talked to a countless number of couples where the husbands just couldn't keep their wandering eyes off cute, sexy-looking, girls. Their wives seemed offended as these incidents took place.

However, I never imagined that "hurting someone else" could be a LUST. I've talked to a few couples and tried to help the husbands understand the wrongfulness of their ways. They didn't see anything wrong with beating their wives.

Shocking to say the least! Poor family upbringing or something? Or so I thought.
---Sag on 4/14/11


Why have you been allowing him to hurt you for 14 years without doing anything about it?
---Cluny on 4/13/11


Julie, the Holy Spirit doesn't "push" he gently nudges, urges, or unctions you, so please pray about this to the Lord God Almighty. Ask Father God what this PUSHING is. How has your husband hurt you Julie? I can pray with you, email me here at Donna5535.
---Donna5535 on 4/13/11


Julie

If your question is why does he keep doing this, the answer is simple.

He is acting out on his lusts and you are allowing him to.

That's why he keeps doing it.

God Bless, Paul
---paul on 4/13/11


Julie, if you or your children are in any potential danger it is time to take legal action, talk to an attorney find out your options, formulate an action plan and implement it. I you need to get a restarting order do so, if you husband violates it seek criminal prosecution. You or your children need not mot be another battered family statistic.
---Blogger9211 on 4/13/11


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Right now, you don't need to know why your husband is abusing you. You need to seek safety immediately. Get your daughters and yourself to a safe house. Call your local hospital and ask for the Social Worker and ask him/her where the closest domestic violence shelter is. Your safety is paramount.

Abusers get worse, and the violence escalates, and women have been killed by their husbands in the process.

Be safe. Your husband can seek therapy to figure out why he abuses you, AFTER you move out and are safe.
---Trish9863 on 4/13/11


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