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Unfaithful To My Wife

I was recently traveling overseas and made the horrible mistake of being unfaithful to my wife. I just told her tonight, but she has not yet forgiven me (I don't blame her, I'm sure it will take time). But now I don't feel like I can go on living with the guilt. What should I do?

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 ---Aaron on 4/17/11
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Hello, one thing is not clear from you, whether you are not drinking sufficiently from your pot or just atracted to a woman and finished it off. If you really loved her nad felt she was the only one you wished for yourself then you must hot have commited the mistake. amyway you need to prove yourself that you won't deceive her and wait until she allows you on the bed.
---MONDRU on 5/4/11


Aaron,

It starts with understanding God forgives you. Something David said when he did something far worse than be unfaithful is, against you only have I sinned Lord. Though you have hurt your wife, over time she will forgive you,but ultimately it is God who we sin against. If you have asked forgiveness and meant it, you are forgiven.

Now you have to forgive yourself, that is where the guilt comes from. Satan is the accuser not God. Do not let this guilt take over or your marriage surely will not last. Repent, and serve her as Christ did for us.

Gods blessings
---willa5568 on 4/26/11


It's not about you-really-What should your wife do? You two are one.
A question only you can answer.
Is it guilt or shame-both?
If you have [truly] repented [only God knows for sure] According to His Word-you are forgiven.Trust is earned--your Action will [speak louder] than [your words].
A [name] or [shem in Hebrew] is their character.
"What is God's character?"
Ex 20:7
You shall not represent the character[shem-name] of Elohiym Falsely

Your Wife is married to God first-He will not leave nor forsake her-She needs time to heal in a way only He can do.It is God who forgives and forgets.

I think we remember and feel shame[sign of true conviction] as a reminder not to repeat----that sin.[my opinion]
---char on 4/22/11


David, God told me to tell you that you have no idea what either Aaron did or God Himself did in this matter, and to mind your own business.
---Cluny on 4/21/11

That message doesn't sound like anything God would say
Cluny, but it does sound like something you might say.
---David on 4/22/11


\\Your guilt remains because as of yet, you have not confessed your sin to God.
It was God that put the guilt into your heart, and only God can remove that guilt.\\

David, God told me to tell you that you have no idea what either Aaron did or God Himself did in this matter, and to mind your own business.
---Cluny on 4/21/11




Aaron
Your guilt remains because as of yet, you have not confessed your sin to God.
It was God that put the guilt into your heart, and only God can remove that guilt.

If you Confess your sin before God, God promises to forgive you.(1John 1:9)
---David on 4/21/11


Aaron, do you feel guilt for committing adultery? or for telling your wife and her not yet forgiving you?

If you show her remorse and how sorry you are and continue to tell her, I think once she forgives you, you will be able to let the guilt go. Cast ALL your anxiety upon Him, for He careth for you. If you're repented, truly repented, then let the guilt go. Your wife is hurt I'm sure and it will take her sometime to get healed from a wound like that. P.S. What part of "Thou Shalt NOT" didn't you understand?
---Donna5535 on 4/18/11


Forgiving and forgetting are two different animals, altogether.Someone can say they forgive you and still be angry inside. I don't talk about my past relationships,mistakes,family and othe baggage to my spouse.The past is the past.Let it stay there. If he ask,I tell only what is necessary and good for that time.Something more serious I would have shared before we got engaged. Otherwise,people: quit digging your own graves with your tongues. If you do this, you only have yourself to blame.
---Robyn on 4/18/11


Don't put it out of your mind, instead put in the things that will make for a stronger bond between you whenever you think of it.

Don't live it down, it's not the way to better health in your relationship, if she's walking through the hurt you should be in your shame and always looking to rebuild what's been damaged.

There's a way back, endure today whatever that means to you and be blessed in the knowledge that God is with you as you have done the best thing in telling her. Put in the work and you'll be stronger then before. Peace 2 U
---friend on 4/18/11


I would say that when you really get clear with God you have peace. Guilt can be a trick. "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted, but the sorrow of the world produces death." (2 Corinthians 7:10) Guilt can be a way of punishing yourself in order to try to pay God off for doing a wrong pleasure thing. And guilt can be used by Satan to keep you weak enough so you do it, again, or do other wrongs.

I'm concerned about what made you not satisfied to be faithful to your wife. This may be more important than if she forgives you, especially if this still is a problem.
---Bill_willa6989 on 4/17/11




What you did was a sin, but you told your wife, (which is correct), it's up do her if she forgives you or not, (which may take a long time,), but if you still feel guilty, remember this, God always forgives if you ask, Him,(plus you acknowledge your sin and you must repent), so if you are still feeling guilty, Satan is at work here,and not God. If your wife doesn't forgive you, you might consider some Christian marriage counseling.
---wivv on 4/17/11


Well Aaron. You should have taken your burden to the Lord and left it there.Vowed to never do this again. Then move on.It is not all that simple to get over the guilt, but that gives you time to think over where do you go from that point. Sometimes we need to keep these type things to ourselves. You don't have to spill your guts about everything. But for you and your wife's sake. I hope you used a condom and took other precautions,as needed. The guilt is part of your punishment. But God does forgive. I hope your wife does,too.
---Robyn on 4/17/11


"But now I don't feel like I can go on living with the guilt. What should I do?" Forgive yourself and "Go and sin no more." The past can not be altered.
Paul had a very helpful epiphany as concerning the past. "One thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." I would suggest that you do the same.
---Josef on 4/17/11


Give her and yourself time to forgive.

But remember that Jesus forgives ALL sins of those who repent.
---Cluny on 4/17/11


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