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Leave Son And Husband

My 22 year old son goes to school and works. I am very proud of him that way BUT he is a slob and very irresponsible in other ways. He drives our New Town and Country Van. He trashes the inside. His dad says "Leave him Alone" he'll be on his own soon. I want to leave them both.

Moderator - From what little you have mentioned, I would basically agree with your husband. If he is a slob at age 22, how were you directing his paths when he was preteen?

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 ---Daisy_Budinsky on 4/19/11
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Its the little things in life that drives us crazy. Sounds silly when we complain but it is very real to the person, who is going through this. This is why there will forever be counselor, psychologist/psychiatrist and these type professions. When people do not have anyone to talk to about their peeves and small irritations, I think it could lead to suicide and depression.Prayer helps some but we must help ourselves, at a certain point. If you love your son and husband,very much. Perhaps you can take your husband advice. Ask yourself too:are you a neat freak? I can't tell you from experience,this is an impossiblity. Just like chasing the wind.A little dirt and mess is ok. I have learned this lesson,finally.
---Robyn on 4/23/11


If he's 22, you are limited in what you can do as far as his mode of dress is concerned. But, you control the van - and all you have to do is refuse to let him use it unless he keeps it clean. It reads like you didn't teach him how to be responsible when he was younger and being responsible is a learned matter, it's not something that comes with no training. (It will be harder now, and he may rebel, but only for a few times, when you tell him he must keep the van clean.) While he needs you to be proud of him - that doesn't mean you rule out "tough love". I disagree with his dad, it reads like "he has his head in the sand."
---wivv on 4/22/11


What is the name of the man you want to leave your husband for?
---KarenD on 4/21/11


Good points, aka.
---Cluny on 4/19/11


how silly,if every woman in the world left her husband because he was a slob,no one would be married,well maybe one or two.
---tom2 on 4/20/11




lets face the facts also,most wives can blame issues like yours on their husbands mothers.and really by nature guys are slobs,believe it or not no one is perfect,we all have faults,or imperfections,but we love them despite these flaws,thank God,for his love,with your attitude we all work still be under condemnation.
---tom2 on 4/20/11


he may treat your property differently than you do, but how do you treat God's property?

your son puts his Burger King wrappers on the floor, but you probably pass the homeless and elderly at the same mph.

your thinking of leaving them. i suppose your God left you because you were messy.
---aka on 4/19/11


Daisy, that really isn't a good reason to leaven them both. What's really bothering you? Do you hate them that much that you want to leave or is it that you are just looking for an excuse to leave them?
P.S. I'm not a very neat person, but I am very responsible and hold down a full time job for the last 35 years of my life. He should NOT trash your new van. Take the keys away and don't let him use it.
---Donna5535 on 4/19/11


So, love them first. We have that young guy who was rich and he asked Jesus what he needed to do to "inherit eternal life" (Mark 10:17). This guy was not ready to be straight with Jesus about the answer. Yet, Jesus who would know this "loved him, and said to him" (Mark 10:21) what He said.

So, if we ourselves are not ready to love first, then speak, we ourselves are being trashed in our insides (Mark 11:25)!!

And enjoy God, rather than letting wrong things decide how you are. Have you been comparing to what you think is going on in other people's lives? "Do all things without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14, see 15-16, please, about what comes first (c: ) God bless you, Daisy (c:
---Bill_willa6989 on 4/19/11


Tsk tsk,tsk. This slob did not become this way overnight. Did you let him get away with this when he was younger? He is only doing what you let him get away with. He needs to be on his own and then you won't have to be bothered with this type behaviour. And why do you want to leave hubby? Because he is letting your son do this? Not a very good reason to leave but somethings we get tired of being taken for granted. Ask yourself some deep questions. Such as: is this worth breaking my home up, over? How is your relationship with your husband. Surely if you love each other, a little trash in the van, is not worth throwing that love away,for.
---Robyn on 4/19/11




"Now why don't you like your husband?" Ha ha ha Cluny, that's funny... I laughed when I read it. You're usually such a serious guy when you answer. Maybe you was serious here too & It just struck me as humorous. I'm assuming she wants to leave the husband because he is siding with the son. However Daisy, that's not reason enough to leave your husband. If it was, there's be very few marriages left. Couples disagree ALL THE TIME. My advice to you is put blinders on so the slobbish mess doesn't drive you nuts. He'll get married one day so just be saving up all your sympathy for your pitiful future daughter-in-law. :-/
---Reba on 4/19/11


You know, Daisy, there are frequent postings here--mostly from women--who moan about their adult children who live at home and don't work, go to school, or do anything to help.

And all you have to complain about is that your son might make a mess in your car?

And for this reason you want to leave your husband?

Please explain to me just what I'm missing here.
---Cluny on 4/19/11


He wouldn't trash your van if you didn't give him the keys.

Now, why don't you like your husband?
---Cluny on 4/19/11


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