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Spanked Bare Butt Until 16

My husband was bare butt spanked until he was almost sixteen years old. He loves his mom dearly but I feel she is the cause of the "wonderful" husband wanting to tie me up and inflict pain though he states that is not the reason. Should he be forced to take counseling?

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 ---Teresa_Matthews on 5/15/11
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\\cluny in so many words has called me "unlearned", "can't read" and other names. \\

More slander.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 3/3/14


Be Christlike and ensure that answers have, at least, 'some' relevance to the question asked (otherwise there is no point being here).

The nastieness should stay in the domain of the atheists - we can do better than that.

We ALL, wander off on a tangent at some point but personal vendettas are not what Christianet is about - I hope.
---Rita_H on 3/3/14


rita, I don't try to score nothing. cluny is just on his high horse and sometimes it rubs me the wrong way. if you want to quit christianet, go ahead. I see you post many times here. maybe we could rename your post "rita's world". cluny in so many words has called me "unlearned", "can't read" and other names. I must defend myself. its good if moderator wants to rename this blog after me and cluny.
---shira4368 on 3/2/14


Seventeen consecutive answers between Shira and Cluny and mainly nothing to do with the question asked but more like point scoring. This should either be deleted or renamed the Cluny & Shira Show.

Is this the level to which Christianet is sinking?

My question about a cheating husband has been removed. I must have missed what brought that about but it's certainly gone.

I think that this one should go also or many recent answers to it should be removed.
---Rita_H on 3/2/14


I have seen several very similar questions asked here - involving smacking children on the behind and removing their underwear first.

I tend to agree with the very first answer to this question but as it HAS been asked I'll offer my twopennyworth.

If parents have decided that physical punishment is how they discipline their children that is up to them (if it's legal in their country) but to remove underwear at any age is just sick - doing so when the child is virtually an adult is monstrous, disgusting, humiliating and any other horrible adjective any of us could add here.

To the asker and her husband - You are both warped i.m.o. If you are still reading this (which I doubt) you need help.
---Rita_H on 3/2/14




Theresa, if your husband wants to tie you up, you should get as far away from him as possible. Never let anyone abuse you. Everyone who was abused as a child does not have the right to do the same thing now that he/she is grown up. They are very much responsible for their actions. And we are never told by God to take abuse from our spouses or from anyone.
If he says, he will never do it again," do not believe it, those kinds of problems do not go away in one day or a week. If God is going to change that person, it will take time in order to see the results.
---Luke on 3/2/14


cluny, it didn't work with me either. I don't claim and have never claimed a high ground. you on the other hand are the truly educated one.
---shira4368 on 3/1/14


Good for you.

I hope you would not expect me to teach you art. I can't draw a straight line with a compass.

But your helpless attempt to lay a guilt trip on me and claim the moral high ground didn't work.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 3/1/14


cluny, I learn something new everyday. Even in the greeting cards I make. I've learned what works and what don't work. I taught myself how to paint with oils and colored pencil. I taught color classes. everything I do was learned thru trial and error. It didn't come from cluny.
---shira4368 on 3/1/14


\\We all depend on you to educate us.
---shira4/68 on 2/27/14\\

I do my best. Any time, shira. any time.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/27/14




cluny, guess I'm with the majority because in your words no one on christianet knows nothing. We all depend on you to educate us.
---shira4/68 on 2/27/14


\\I am always open to learn but you are not.
---shira4368 on 2/26/14
\\

I'm not open to learning from those who don't know what they are talking about.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/27/14


Luny, oh excuse me cluny, you are a know it all or you "think" you are. I rest my case. I. Trying to find my papers where I studied that but since I've moved it is still hid. it wouldn't matter anyway you still refuse to learn. I am always open to learn but you are not.
---shira4368 on 2/26/14


\\I was just trying to keep you informed. \\

How can you possibly inform others if you're believing and spreading misinformation yourself?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/26/14


cluny, it doesn't matter if you're right. It's ok to me. I was just trying to keep you informed. You argue for the sake of argument so we know you are bored. You are still wrong.
---shira4368 on 2/26/14


I have researched this issue, shira, and my research says YOU are wrong.

So there.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/25/14


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cluny, I said it because I've read and researched it just the same as you could if you were motivated.
---shira4368 on 2/25/14


\\cluny, you are so very wrong on this one. the words I told you are left out hundreds of times.
---shira4368 on 2/24/14\\

Just because you said it doesn't make it so.

You've offered no proof.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/25/14


cluny, you are so very wrong on this one. the words I told you are left out hundreds of times.
---shira4368 on 2/24/14


\\cluny, the one that is inspired is the one that doesn't leave out hell, heaven, born again, Jesus and other words that is left out of the kjv.\\

I've seen all these words in the NKJV.

They also appear in other versions.

This is why I say you're reverting to duckspeak, shira.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/24/14


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my answer is mixed up. It should have said the words are left out of all translations except the King James.
---shira4368 on 2/23/14


\\cluny, the one that is inspired is the one that doesn't leave out hell, heaven, born again, Jesus and other words that is left out of the kjv.\\

You're reverting to duckspeak, shira.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/23/14


cluny, the one that is inspired is the one that doesn't leave out hell, heaven, born again, Jesus and other words that is left out of the kjv. satan has used man to try to change the basic doctrine of the bible by neutralizing deity out of the bible. check it out for yourself.
---shira4368 on 2/23/14


//...schofield bible//

The Scofield Bible notes are not inspired by God, so a person should be very careful with those notes. It's the only Bible I've thrown away. I quit reading it a long time ago. :) I hated to think how long its been.
---Rod4Him on 2/22/14


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\\I don't recall you asking that but I have a 1611 and a schofield bible.\\

And which do you believe is the inspired recension, shira?

That's the question you've never answered.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/22/14


I don't recall you asking that but I have a 1611 and a schofield bible. there are no contradictions in either one. Italics are words added by man.
---shira4368 on 2/22/14


\\ I commend you for your education. Everything I know is self learned. \\

Same here, for the most part.

One question you've never answered is which of the several recensions of the KJV you prefer and why. When I ask you that question, you either ignore it or engage in personal attacks.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/22/14


Cluny I have answered all your questions, well those that are directed to me. You actually think your super intelligence is superior to any on this site. I commend you for your education. Everything I know is self learned. You may even be surprised by some of the things I do.
---shira4368 on 2/21/14


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Cluny if anyone should be whinning on this blog it is me. Shiri made me the chicken you are home free.
---Elder on 2/21/14


\\I sort of enjoy sparing with you. You make me look up and research subjects. I
know you enjoy it too. Knowing you on christianet is enough for me\\

If I make you think, good. That's my intention, shira.

Too many Christians of all persuasions indulge in what Orwell called "duckspeak"--merely mouthing the accepted platitudes and cliches.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/21/14


cluny, I love all brothers in Christ. So you see I'm right once more. I sort of enjoy sparing with you. You make me look up and research subjects. I
know you enjoy it too. Knowing you on christianet is enough for me. Lol
---shira4358 on 2/21/14


\\cluny, I just love you to death but you pick at me and I was partly picking at you. you are mean sometimes.
---shira4368 on 2/20/14\\

And just how did I pick at you on this blog?

Or do you consider asking questions you cannot answer or have not thought about "picking at you"?

And where have I ever stooped to ad hominem arguments such as you do with me?

Sorry, shira, but your love bombing rings hollow. You cannot love me because you don't really know me.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/21/14


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cluny, I just love you to death but you pick at me and I was partly picking at you. you are mean sometimes.
---shira4368 on 2/20/14


\\Elder, don't worry about cluny, he always picks the feathers off the chicken. he does that to everyone. Like I said before, he is miserable, lonely and angry.
---shira4368 on 2/19/14\\

God bless you, shira. And may you keep on blessing me and adding to my heavenly treasure, even if you project.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/20/14


To Bro.Elder praise God Brother with all respect, that is wonderfull the Lord helped you take a terrible situation

God gave you the will and the strength to over come and now,help others. God bless you brother. Thankyou for sharing!

Love of Jesus!
---Lidia4796 on 2/19/14


Elder, don't worry about cluny, he always picks the feathers off the chicken. he does that to everyone. Like I said before, he is miserable, lonely and angry.
---shira4368 on 2/19/14


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cluny, I must say what you described is heart breaking. I'm so very sad to hear of anyone being abused. My granddaughter told her dad she would report him if he got the belt again. He told her if she did, he would get her again.
---shir4368 on 2/19/14


Thanks Cluny for your testimony of your childhood.

Shirl, Im glad you were not abused. I was mainly asking Cluny.

My sister and my self were greatly abused, mostly by drunks. We had to stand against full grown drunken men many times. That is where I learned to fight and not give up.

My childhood prepared me for the ministry today. I am able to see the abuse in families before it is brought public. That helps in helping.
---Elder on 2/19/14


\\Were you ever beaten or mistreated? How'd that affect you?
---Elder on 2/18/14\\

Yes, I was. I was a target of my mother's hostilities and frustrations.

Once when I was 14 she came tearing at me with a studded belt--and for the last time. I didn't hit her, but I simply grabbed the belt and refused to allow her to hit me any more.

She then changed to other forms of manipulation and such, such as threatening to walk down the railroad tracks until she got hit by a train.

She stopped that when I told her to just go on.

She came back for her glasses.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/19/14


no bro elder, not me. My sister was tho and I know of people who have done that. anyone who mistreats a child especially. One of my friends on facebook posted a photo of an electric chair and the caption read "solution to pedophelia". I totally agree.
---shira4368 on 2/19/14


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Hello,Shira4368 it's world wide. The good thing is USA If the Abuser Is Male Or Female or they both guilty go before a judge. People can say what they like, .

the system as far as my own the judge was fair. I am happy by myself,

I put away all animosity, I too, old and settled in my ways to get into a relationship.
God is good.
---Lidia4796 on 2/18/14


"How about mothers who beat their children?"
Cluny

I thought Shirl covered that when she said, "Lidia, it takes a scum bag to beat on anyone."
shira4368 on 2/17/14

Were you ever beaten or mistreated? How'd that affect you?
---Elder on 2/18/14


cluny they are scum too but I was talking to Lidia.
---shira4368 on 2/18/14


\\A man that beats his wife is scum\\

How about mothers who beat their children?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 2/18/14


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Lidia, I'm so sorry you were mistreated by parents or spouse. it takes a scum bag to beat on anyone. A man that beats his wife is scum. One blogger on this site told he had to correct His wife. he is a sorry low down piece of whatever "stuff". All I can say is he can't stay awake 24 hours a day. He must sleep at some time.
---shira4368 on 2/17/14


Stumbled,upon this blogg,.
My mother always beat me this way, & most every one beat me instead of us talk it out .I have any desire to be married ,no interest at all. No relationship either.
I always thought marriage was about love & caring.

I will never understand this mentality of humiliation & beating your child this way or your wife.

Love of Jesus!
---Lidia4796 on 2/15/14


steve, me and my siblings got the belt. actually it never hurt but the thought of it made me cringe. I didn't grow up warped and neither do I hate my parents. they were the most loving parents. if you could look back in my childhood, my parents worked hard and still had nothing. I had dresses made out of flour sacks. I have a quilt made from flour sacks too. there was no welfare then but just hard workers.
---shira4368 on 2/3/14


My brothers and i got paddled bare by mom til 16--It was much more common in that era---It had no effect on my relationship to my wife nor would ever think to do what your husband does to you----Get help fast---Its alot bigger deal than getting paddled by mom!
---steve on 2/2/14


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thank you Cluny ...lol by the time I cut up my post to fit the 125 word limit I sometimes don't re-read my edited version
---Rhonda on 5/30/11


Donna: You are right about needing the proper motivation. I believe that this wife could refuse to participate in marital relations until the husband enters therapy, either individual or marital, or both. Husband may resist the treatment at first, but with prayer and support from the wife, change can occur.

I speak from my own personal experience in my own therapy. I did not know I had a problem, and it took awhile for me to begin to change, but change did occur with prayer and discipleship from a loving sister in the Lord. Though my marriage eventually ended, I still got better.
---Trish on 5/29/11


\\sexual abuse in the form of punishment SOWS a mixed up psychologically damaged adult\\

I think the word you're looking for is REAP, not sow.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/28/11


sexual abuse in the form of punishment SOWS a mixed up psychologically damaged adult

FIRST seek counseling for yourself for being subjected to the sick perverted requests of your ABUSED husband

then through counseling you will find a way to manage or deal with your husbands abuse and hopefully he will one day want to seek help too
---Rhonda on 5/28/11


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Theresa_Matthews. You my dear, have the problem.You are sicker than he is. His mother was and is sicker than both of you,combined. But you, your husband and mom can be helped. A very, very long process.P:S: He better not inflict any pain on me or think about tying me up for any ill purposes. I'm just saying.
---Robyn on 5/27/11


You are correct. Some people (perhaps many) don't see that their behavior is inappropriate until a psychotherapist reveals it to them.

But minus a court order, something must motivate them to see a psychotherapist. Also I know of people...I'm sure you do too... who "attend" sessions with a psycotherapist (often to get someone off their back) but put absolutely 0 effort into making any changes.
---Donna66 on 5/27/11


Psychotherapy is not useless, regardless of the willingness on the part of the client to change. Many people do not learn they need to change their behavior, or that their behavior is inappropriate, until they are confronted by the psychotherapist.
---Trish on 5/22/11


Nobody can "force" him to get counseling! And counseling is useless unless one wants to change. (A professional is the only one qualified to identify the root of his problem)
You have not said whether he intends to continue this behavior or not. Does he think this behavior should be OK with you?
If it is not, you must make it known in no uncertain terms.

If he is unwilling to change,
about all you can do is give him an ultimatum: either he gets help or you leave. This may be the only thing to "motivate" him to get counseling.
But IF you set these conditions you must follow through. Otherwise, you may never again be able to convince him to get help.
---Donna66 on 5/20/11


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\\if you noticed Cluny this person that blogged this has not said another word and\\

That in itself means nothing. There are many people here who initiate a thread and never return.

\\But our help comes from God and im sure not many on here are qualified to help this lady Are you?
---Lea on 5/20/11\\

On the basis of what she posted, it's not the original poster who really needs help.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/20/11


I reckon he needs hterapy.

If he wants to tie up and hurt his wife, there is something wrong with him.

It does not really matter the reason he has this desire ... what is needed is for him to realise that it is not acceptable behaviour.

I wonder if he is one of those who take the Bible so literally that he believes he, being the head of the household, is entitled to do to his wife whatever he wants, and whenever he wants?
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/20/11


wow, i am not going to say your husband is unusual or alone in this, there may be other reasons, he wants to tie you up...was he sexually abused by his mother or any other female in his life? I think you may need more evidence...not sure if the spankings were sexual or not...i seriously think he may have been sexually abused...
---forrest on 5/20/11


if you noticed Cluny this person that blogged this has not said another word and im very aware of the mean cruel world and all that goes on in it, i wasn't born in a cocoon. But our help comes from God and im sure not many on here are qualified to help this lady Are you?
---Lea on 5/20/11


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I agree with Cluny. Spanking into adolescence creates confusion and associates sexual stimulation with pain.

This woman has a real marriage problem, and the husband is not going to stop until he gets professional help.

She is right to post here, as she may be too embarassed to ask for help in her church. She needs to get professional help from a licensed therapist for her and her marriage. He needs it too.
---Trish on 5/19/11


Good point, StrongAxe.

I think it's more likely you'll find people here who enjoy being victims and want to exploit other people's sympathy.

What is being asked in the original question is a serious issue. And, as I've said, I've seen the question of so spanking teenagers and those on the cusp of puberty. I've pointed out the dangers, and it's obvious I was right.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/18/11


Lea:

Then where do you suggest she go for help instead?

Sure, there ARE some people who "get off" on this kind of thing. However, such people would likely get much more satisfaction from web sites catering to like-minded people, and not Christian blogs. People like that looking here would be as satisfying as lions lunching at a salad bar.
---StrongAxe on 5/18/11


\\There are people out there that get off on this kind of stuff and when we feed into it they love it.\\

And then there are those who don't and are simply looking for help, Lea.

I really doubt that you have the gift of seeing into the heart of someone you don't even know, especially from words on a computer screen.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/16/11


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that he finds the help he needs to break this cycle.
---Cluny on 5/16/11

I believe that this applies to EVERYONE. Every person who has lived on planet Earth.

Ever since Adam and Eve sinned, people have been struggling with sin. The Bible says that this becomes a Cycle that is passed from generation to generation.

Example: Isaac and Ishmael learned much of their sinful behavior from their parents. The same applies to people today.

Cycles that need breaking: ANYTHING displeasing to GOD. Lying, Stealing, Anger, Bitterness, Sexual Immorality, Gossip, Addictions, etc.

Only GOD completely understands what people have lived through. We are unable to break Cycles of sin without HIS help.

---Sag on 5/16/11


StrongAx:

this forum is not a place for this woman to get help, if this is really happening at all. There are people out there that get off on this kind of stuff and when we feed into it they love it. If she really wants help then she needs to leave this nut seek Jesus Christ and pray for him, not come to a Christian forum and seek peoples advice !
---Lea on 5/16/11


Lea and paul, the real world is messy, and Christians have to deal with problems of the real world, as messy and disgusting as they are.

No purpose is served in acting as if such things never happen. They issues they cause will not go away by merely ignoring them.

We hear a lot about the sexual abuse of children, and this husband is clearly a product of it. We also hear, to our horror, how the cycle frequently repeats itself: the abused becomes the abuser.

I sincerely pray for his sake, as well as his future offsprings', that he finds the help he needs to break this cycle.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/16/11


I think that this blog question SPEAKS VOLUMES about a big problem among us.

*** 1 Corinthians 13:11 ***

Whatever we experienced when we were Children, once we became Adults, we need to STOP blaming/using those experiences as EXCUSES for our bad, criminal, etc. behavior.

In other words, ADULTS need to take RESPONSIBILITY for their own actions.

The alternative is misery for both YOURSELF and OTHERS. Like this blog question illustrates very clearly.

Either the husband needs to recognize this, and get counseling about his problems, or the wife might have no other choice, but to leave.
---Sag on 5/16/11


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Lea and Paul:

This woman has a legitimate problem. Why should this blog be censored?

Is it the word "butt"? The Bible includes words like "buttocks" and others even less savory.

Is it the subject matter? The Bible includes stories that include nudity, torture, abuse, murder, adultery, and incest.

Any censorship that would exclude topics like this one would necessarily have to exclude the Bible itself as well.
---StrongAxe on 5/16/11


As previous replies have said, your husband may need therapy because of his leanings toward sado-masochism. If he won't seek it out, then get into marriage therapy with him. Insist on it, as it is your marriage that is suffering right now.
---Trish on 5/16/11


I won't say that evil people of my past decide what I do, now. I have chosen things I have done. There are also good people who have done things in my life. So, my own character decides whose example I go by! (c:

And I would say ones can make sure with God about who they marry, and with God we can get to know someone on our terms or admit God has not gotten someone to be honest with us. Be prayerfully careful to stay with how God rules us in His peace > He won't lead us to believe and trust people who are lying and wrong. We can get with God so we have His reliable guidance.
---Bill_willa6989 on 5/16/11


This is not only out of bounds, it is a mockery to what this forum is supposed to be.

Unbelievable moderator.

Paul
---paul on 5/15/11


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Jesus Christ didn't say I love you so you are going to have to let me bring things upon you which will inflict pain on you so I will be happy. No instead he took the pain and even death upon himself to spare us from being a sinner without hope and suffering torment. Your husband is one twisted man and you should never allow him to tie you up and spank you,its pure evil to hurt someone and call it making love and one day he may get carried away and kill you. Hes making you a slave to his perversion. Yes he does need professional counsling but so do you if you're letting him do it. Get in church if you aren't going now,read your Bible,and pray together.
---Darlene_1 on 5/15/11


You cannot force your husband to go to counselling, though it's obvious he needs it. To my knowledge, there is no legal way to do so. YOU may have to leave your husband to protect yourself. (And no, this is NOT fornication.)

There have been people on these blogs who have wanted to inflict such corporal punishment on their pre-teen and teen age children. I warned them they would do nothing but turn them into sado-masochist who would associate pain with sexual pleasure, and you have simply proven my point.

I hope these parents read your story.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/15/11


Moderator: it is blogs like this that need to be censored, why do you post these for?
---Lea on 5/15/11


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