OK To Date While Married
I left my husband over 6 years ago because he was physically abusive to my son from the ages of 1-4, and then he cheated on me with men. I haven't looked at men or dated this whole time, but a man is interested in me and I really like him too.Is it okay to date even though I'm not divorced?
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---Sherry on 5/16/11
Helpful Blog Vote (4)
6 years ago and still no divorce?
Why? Abused by him yet you stay faithful to him and continued in an empty marriage for 6 very long years?
Either remain married and in this exile you have created or if your husband is healed of abuse restore your marriage or get a divorce and move on with a life and date.
a self-imposed exile from married life does not make one eligible to date
---Rhonda on 5/21/11|
Sherry, If you really want to follow GOD, know that you are unequally yoked to a man who does not love, nor apparently want GOD in his life. It is not right for you to date while you're married. But, seek GOD's face about divorcing from the one you are unequally yoked with (IF you are truly a follower of GOD). Unless your husband does not want a divorce. Read I Corinthians 7 all the way through.
---Gordon on 5/21/11|
You cant take a drink with your mouth full no matter how thirsty you are.
---paul on 5/19/11|
The main investment, for being with people, would be to have a pastor and his wife who are helping you get real with God in living in His peace ruling in your heart > "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body, and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15) And have others, also, who are examples of obeying God in His peace and loving all people (Matthew 5:46) so your son has these examples, not just some one nice guy. And are you becoming a helpmate of Jesus so you help people to please God and love all people, like our Groom Jesus desires??? A man needs a helpmate like this!!!
---Bill_willa6989 on 5/19/11|
Although you "left" your husband, you are still Biblically and morally married to him until after a divorce is finalized or your spouse is deceased. If you get involved with another man, you would literally be committing adultery because you have admitted that you are not divorced. So, then you must ask yourself, why haven't I taken the action to become a single woman so I can be free to love again.
---Dr._Lalita on 5/19/11|
No way can you date. You are still married and even if divorced, you couldn't date based on what is written in Scripture.
---wivv on 5/18/11|
NO!!!! Nobody should ever get into a second relationship until they are out of the first.
---KarenD on 5/18/11|
I agree with Bill when he says another can look good in comparison to what you have. Wasn't that the lie the original sin was centered around? Believe me, the enemy knows what appeals to you, even if it is good, and will use that to deceive and tempt you to go after the flesh. The fact that your husband has "left the natural use of the woman" says a lot about what he believes. The woman is the seed receiver, not the man. That tells me he is receiving seed or information from his unrenewed soul realm and because of that he makes man a receiver of seed, hence his actions The soul is the mind, will, emotions, thinking faculties, personality, intellect, and imagination. The body will never go where the mind has not first gone.
---Sophia on 5/18/11|
Romans 1 tells us that man becomes unthankful in the intuitive knowledge of God and changes the image of God into a corrupt image. It is downhill from there, but the gospel will even light that darkness. Man with man and woman with woman is extreme hardness of heart toward God, a denying of that intuitive knowledge of Him and the revelation of God in the creation. But on a backdrop of such darkness and hardness of heart lies the diamond of the good news of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. None is without hope because of the light that shines in the darkness.
---Sophia on 5/18/11|
Get the divorce.
---Samuel on 5/18/11|
oh, one thing I thought of . . . if you have been abused or cheated on or whatever, a guy can come along and look pretty good in comparison to someone who has hurt you. So, I would say not to hurry to think someone who seems nice is right for you. Get with Jesus more and get to know different Christian people so you can see how a Jesus guy really is and can be.
---Bill_willa6989 on 5/17/11|
ghet your divorce first, bassicaly as long as you'r not it is a crime.
i know many others will tell you to make up with your first or stay single, but on the other hand we live in a debouched time. at least do the acceptable thing in majority of churches.
---andy3996 on 5/18/11|
Get those divorce papers signed quickly. Any statute of limitations could be running out on the physical abuse you have suffered. Then go on a date.
---Scott on 5/17/11|
1st get the divorce, then you can date again, otherwise you are in adultery.
---Leslie on 5/17/11|
And have you gotten with Christian people who are good examples for your son and for you, and so you have these people to share with while you are sharing with this man?
---Bill_willa6989 on 5/17/11|
I was once part of a Bible Study group.
There was a Single Mother and a Single Father. Both had 2 sons. They began dating BEFORE either of them had their divorce finalized.
While I didn't approve of their relationship, I was told that I should just keep quiet. Because I didn't know all the dire circumstances involved. Possibly, Spousal and Child Abuse?
The Pastor of the church did marry the couple, but they left the church soon afterwards. Hmmm. I would think that a couple who asked the rest of the Bible Study group for prayer would let us know how things are working out. Not in this marriage.
Since then, I've come to the conclusion that married folks should NOT date. Work on their marriage problems instead.
---Sag on 5/17/11|
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No it is not okay to date while still married. And if your husband was abusive, you should be getting your son into therapy, and yourself as well. Wait for a while till you get into a relationship.
---Trish on 5/17/11|