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Remarriage With ExHusband

Should I think about getting back with my ex-husband. He left me for somebody else 7 years ago and married her, they are now splitting. We have a 10 year old son. I feel I didn't treat him right when I was married to him.

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 ---Mandy on 6/16/11
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It is great you are trying to seek God's idea on this situation but there are many in here that are not God...all of us. So please you pray and don't let the feeble minded distract you...you see whatever God's idea for your situation is ...He will certaintly do...and even when God himself speaks to you a person calling themselves christian can also despute God with a scripture...so they think! So listen to the father he knows what you should do ...please dont keep asking mere humans..we are not cable of helping you more than God! If your heart says pray and believe God for restoration DO JUST THAT!! And believe God!
---genaj on 8/30/11


Eze 18:21-22 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die. All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
'Then why in these two verses are these saved by law and his own righteousness?'-francis on 7/9/11
I don't think any of Ezekial's time are living right now, all have died, therefore they were not saved by the law.
Rom 8:2-3
---micha9344 on 7/10/11


francis, I don't understand how a person who speaks about the law does not understand salvation by grace. No one can be saved by keeping the law. Why? Because no one can keep the whole law. You break one you have broken all. That is why the lost need Jesus who kept the whole law for our behalf, those who place their faith and trust in Him. When that person does, he is imputed the righteousness of Christ, and is spiritually seated in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. That is as simple as I can explain it to you. You can talk all you want and bring passages from the Old Testament all you want but it will not bring salvation to you unless you have been covered by the blood of Christ. There is only one way francis.
---Mark_V. on 7/10/11


---Mark_V. on 7/9/11
LOl If the righteousness is his own and not of christ them explain this:
Are we saved by keeping the law:
Ezekiel 18:21 But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.

Or are we saved by our own righteous that we do?

Ezekiel 18:22 All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.

Then why in these two verses are these saved by law and his own righteousness?
If you canot see the iomplication of grace and righteousness of christ here then...
---francis on 7/9/11


francis, the passages you gave from Eze. are not the righteousness of Christ. He had not imputed His righteousness. The passages are speaking of someone own righteous deeds. Things good he did. And if he turns to do bad deeds he will be judge for them. And if a bad person turns good, he too will be judge for that. Hebrews 10:26 speaks of people who receive the Truth, it does not mean those people had faith in the Truth. There is only one sacrifice. He only dies for you once. Many people know the Truth, they just don't have faith and trust in the Truth. They know about Jesus Christ and his resurrection but have no faith.
Many here know the Truth, it is in front of them, and when you mention it, the reject it. It doesn't sound good to them.
---Mark_V. on 7/9/11




Mark_V. NOT MY VIEW:

Ezekiel 18:26 When a righteous [man] turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and dieth in them, for his iniquity that he hath done shall he die.

Ezekiel 18:27 Again, when the wicked [man] turneth away from his wickedness that he hath committed, and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall save his soul alive.

Ezekiel 18:28 Because he considereth, and turneth away from all his transgressions that he hath committed, he shall surely live, he shall not die.

Hebrews 10:26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,
---francis on 7/7/11


francis, you sure know how to avoid answering questions, and it's because you have a very corrupt view of salvation by Grace through faith, because of your wrong view of Christ. In your view, a person has to earn his salvation. Has to do certain works in order to keep that salvation, just like the RCC's doctrine. No answer I give will satisfy you. So ok, you do not have to answer the questions.
In your view if you are already saved by grace, and a person sins, and suddenly dies, he is going right to hell if he doesn't confess. At least at the RCC you go to what they call, purgatory, and have someone else pray for you or pay penance, but in your case, you better not sin once because if you do you are going to hell if you forgot to confess.
---Mark_V. on 7/7/11


He left you for somebody else before, so who is to say that he will not leave you again? ..."he's with me today, but with somebody else tomorrow, and should he be with me again?..."
---Eloy on 7/7/11


You cannot be forgiven unless you confess your sins.
---Francis on 7/6/11


francis, I did not answer my question since we were talking about believers already who have been forgiven, who are born of the Spirit. So no, you have not answered my questions. You are talking about repentance unto salvation. You did a lot of talk concerning the sister and avoided answering. So what are the answers?
Are you saying they lost salvation and have to work to get salvation back as the RCC teaches?
---Mark_V. on 7/6/11




---Mark_V. on 7/5/11

I think you have just answered your own question. cannot be saved by grace through faith unless you REPENT.
---francis on 7/6/11


francis, you are still avoiding my questions, and want to give me a question before you answer. You made the statements and I ask you first.
Did you not hear,
"..God may perhaps grant that they will repent and come to know the truth, and they may escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will" ( 2 Tim. 2:25,26).
All true repentance is produced by God's sovereign Grace (Eph. 2:7) and without such Grace human effort to change is futile (Jer. 13:23). When God, by Grace, grants "saving faith" it includes the "granting of repentance" from sin. Neither is a human effort.
---Mark_V. on 7/5/11


Of course I have heard of repent from sin. But have you ever heard, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, ---Mark_V. I do not want to missunderstand you at all. Are you saying that someone can CONTINUE TO LIVE IN ADULTERY without repentance and be saved by grace through faith?
---francis on 7/4/11


francis, you still have not given the answers. You said,
Ever heard of repent from sin?" Of course I have heard of repent from sin. But have you ever heard, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." If you haven't it is found in Eph. 2:8,9.
And do you know why it says, that grace and faith are a gift? because God word says, "lest anyone should boast" thinking it came from them when they were gifts to begin with. Now how does this apply to your statements?
---Mark_V. on 7/4/11


---Mark_V. on 7/4/11
LOL ever heard of REPENT from SIN.
---francis on 7/4/11


francis, we can go on and on. You had said so much, and put Scriptures down, and yet do not answer the questions. You avoid answering my questions. I'll give you a hint. It comes from God. And no one who is born of the Spirit becomes unborn. There, I gave you one hint and one answer.
---Mark_V. on 7/4/11


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francis, you again gave me another law. You have not answered my questions. What must they do to be saved? ---Mark_V. on 7/3/11
Acts 3:19 REPENT ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord,

REPENT FROM ADULTERY

2 Corinthians 7:10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
---francis on 7/3/11


francis, you again gave me another law. You have not answered my questions. What must they do to be saved? What kind of works do they do? If you suggest they lose their salvation, what then must he do to be born again? And does he lose his born again spirit and needs to be born a second time? Get to the point, stop avoiding what you have in your heart.
---Mark_V. on 7/3/11


---Mark_V. on 6/30/11
You do understand that based on this text ( Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery) SOME people who are divorced and remarried are living in adultery?
Not commited adultery, but LIVING IN. So to be right with God they must stop living in adultery THE MARRIAGE/ ADULTERY must end!
---francis on 7/3/11


francis, you avoided my questions to you with more Scripture and none of what you gave speaks whether a believer who marries goes to hell for marrying again. Or what they must do to go to heaven. Just more laws. Again, as a teacher of the law what must they have to do to be saved if they have sinned and lost salvation? Go to purgatory? say pennance? Say a couple of hail Mary's? What kind of works must they do to be saved?
---Mark_V. on 6/30/11


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do all those who are saved go to hell for marrying after they have been divorced? And if they do, what must they do to go to heaven? ---Mark_V. on 6/27/11

Good questions
NUMBER 1: Some ( not all) people who have been divorced and remarried are living in adultery
Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery
2: To be right with god the marriage MUST END. Because it is adultery, and against the will of God
---francis on 6/30/11


francis, so tell me, you who are a teacher of the Law, do all those who are saved go to hell for marrying after they have been divorced? And if they do, what must they do to go to heaven? Is there no hope for them? Are they condemned because they broke the Law? Since you are so quick to judge others by the Law, you should have a great answer.
---Mark_V. on 6/27/11


He left me for somebody else 7 years ago and married her, they are now splitting

Deuteronomy 24:1 then let him write her a bill of divorcement, EX HUSBAND DID THAT

Deuteronomy 24:2 And when she is departed out of his house, she MAY go and be another man's wife. THAT IS HER OPTION SHE DID NOT DO THAT

Deuteronomy 24:3 IF SHE BECOMES FREE OR SINGLE WHICH SHE IS

Deuteronomy 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled, for that [is] abomination before the LORD
BINGO NO SHE CANNOT GO BACK TO HER EX WHO HAD REMARRIED
---Francis on 6/25/11


francis, your wrong about the law. First, just because someone marry's again does not mean that person will not be saved. You suggest that the breaking of that law condemns them. It would mean that everyone who is married again after been divorce is going to hell. But people go to hell not for that reason, but because they haven't been saved by God. They cannot be ever saved by their works.
Second, warning's are given so that believers do not have to face the consequences of that sin. When a husband commits adultery, he commits sin against God, and many lose their jobs, lose the family and many times it causes death and destroy's the children. Warnings given are for our own good. There isn't enough information to compare to Deut. 24.
---Mark_V. on 6/25/11


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---Mark_V. on 6/23/11
In all of this You missed something "He left me for somebody else 7 years ago and MARRIED HER.."

Does the fact thatthe ex husband IS married to another women change you mind at all? Can they still get back together?
---francis on 6/24/11


francis, your been legalistic about what you say. Let's begin again, the Bible does not approve of divorce. We know that. The Bible speaks to believers. Here the husband left. She didn't. She did not remarry again. At least to my knowledge. We have no details whether they were both saved at the time of divorce or not. We don't even know if she or him are saved now. What God wants from us, no one is completely free of guilt. Sin is sin, no matter what kind it is. And I don't see anyone stopping from sinning on other matters. I know for a fact you are a sinner. but I also know that God will forgive you. When you begin to give advice like you do, without knowing all the facts and concluding Deut. 24 addresses her point for point, your wrong.
---Mark_V. on 6/23/11


The bible states that no-one should remarry an ex-spouse if either of them have married someone else inbetween.

If neither have remarried after a divorce there is nothing wrong with remarriage to an ex-spouse.
---RitaH on 6/21/11


. Yet God has done miracles through many who have been divorced and married again. ---Mark_V. on 6/21/11
BIBLICAL EXAMPLE PLEASE.

Add i ask because just because two people are divorced and remaiired does not mean that God approves. There are MANY people who are LIVING IN ADULTERY, thinking that God has approved their second marriage or their marriage to a divorced person.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

the only way to get forgiveness for this is to discontinue the marriage/ adulterous relationship.
---francis on 6/21/11


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francis, if you go back you will see that I never suggested for her to go back. I told her that if she did, it might turn out good, or it might turn terrible. So please don't put words in my mouth.
You, in turn say she should not go back. As if you knew what the consequences will be. What I do know is that if God has forgiven both of them or is planning to forgive them, and He has a plan for them to unite, who are you to suggest it is not right? We know what Scripture says about divorce, it is against it period. Yet God has done miracles through many who have been divorced and married again. And nothing can happen unless God permits it or allows it to happen, for He could prevent the events to happen if He so wish it.
---Mark_V. on 6/21/11


I am not even sure what your " agruement" is.
Oh yes, you r agruement seems to be That I cannot use any text from the OT. Your arguement is not whether or not she can go back. It is which part of the scripture can be used. But I have NO AGRUEMENTS. I really don't care which is used OT or NT she cannot go back.
---francis on 6/21/11


Don't you just HATE it when I bring up points of Scripture you can't refute, and all you can do is stoop to ad hominem arguments?
---Cluny on 6/21/11

What's to refute? LOL
You and markV are the only one who seems to make an arguement that she an go back. yet you are are not really agrueing anything but what does " IS" mean. I have already said it is a waste of arguement. I am not sure how ou have an aruement when ALL agree she cannot go back. LOL
---francis on 6/21/11


No you should not! You got divorced for a reason. Move forward and don't look back.
---poopsey on 6/21/11


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//I feel I didn't treat him right when I was married to him.//

Regardless of how you feel you treated him, I see that you are still using your son as leverage. your son should be left out of the conversation.

it seems that the three adults including you might not be very considerate of the son.

rules and regulations do not matter, but the weights that you (plural) continue to hang around the child's neck does.
---aka on 6/21/11


\\Whether you use deuteronomy or matthew, to a christian the answer is NO. To a reporbate minded person, it is up for debate
---francis on 6/20/11\\

Don't you just HATE it when I bring up points of Scripture you can't refute, and all you can do is stoop to ad hominem arguments?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/21/11


If you are KJV impaired, try another version

But to a christian the answer is " NO YOU CANNOT GO BACK TO THE EX HUSBAND."

Whether you use deuteronomy or matthew, to a christian the answer is NO. To a reporbate minded person, it is up for debate
---francis on 6/20/11


francis, the passages say nothing about trading wives. Unless that is what you got. I don't believe Mandy said anything about trading. She just wants to get back with her ex because it seems to her that her husband will be free. No one can give her goldy advice correctly since no one knows the particulars of the divorce. You want to be legalistic about it. If she doesn't agree you condemn her. You see no difference in the passages but I sure do.
---Mark_V. on 6/20/11


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francis, if Mandy was not given a bill of divorcement by her original husband, then Deut. does not apply.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/20/11


---Mark_V.
The passage forbids people from trading off wives. or rather from going back and forth between husband and wives. the fact that he did not get married after the divorce is not even relevant.

You can't go back and forth between wives/ husband
---francis on 6/20/11


francis, you said to me'
"Can you read at all, or just determined to misterprete the scriptures?
Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her:"

The passage does not say anything about her husband been married again, or that he found any uncleanness in her, only that he left. She doesn't mention whether she married again or not. And again, it is not a command, commend or condone, or even suggest divorce. Rather it recognizes that divorce occurs and permits it only on restricted grounds.
---Mark_V. on 6/20/11


Again, francis, you err, knowing neither the scriptures nor the power of God.

Mandy never said that she herself remarried, hence Deut 23 does not apply.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/19/11


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Cluny on 6/19/11
Deuteronomy 24:3 And [if] the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth [it] in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house, or if the latter husband die, which took her [to be] his wife,

Deuteronomy 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled, for that [is] abomination before the LORD:

If you do not agree, then your arguement is not with me, it is with the word of God. So good luck
---francis on 6/19/11


Mat 5:31-32 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth, but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will, only in the Lord.
---micha9344 on 6/19/11


\\We ALL agree that she cannot go back to the ex husband. \\

Do we? Where did you get that idea? I never said that.

Please read my initial comment.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/19/11


We ALL agree that she cannot go back to the ex husband. I just do not get what this arguement is about.
---francis on 6/18/11


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\\what are you five years old?\\

francis, your reproaches are compliments. Your curses are blessings.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/18/11


are you saying that Jesus in Deuteronomy said to give a bill of divorce to allow living in adultery with another person?
---Cluny on 6/18/11
what are you five years old?

There is particulars in that law. The passages do not command, commend, condone, or even suggest divorce. ---Mark_V. on 6/18/11

Can you read at all, or just determined to misterprete the scriptures?
Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a BILL OF DIVORCEMENT, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house.
---francis on 6/18/11


So, francis, are you saying that Jesus in Deuteronomy said to give a bill of divorce to allow living in adultery with another person?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/18/11


Mandy, I do not believe the same circumstance from Deut 24 apply to you. There is particulars in that law. The passages do not command, commend, condone, or even suggest divorce. Rather, it recognizes that divorce occurs and permits it only on restricted grounds. Jesus answer to that was, "What was said from the beginning? When two come together they become one"
Many people have got back together and are doing great. They both now have a true commitment to Christ from the heart, and a true commitment for each other, something they didn't have before. Other times it is a disaster and everything really goes bad. pray that Spirit guides you to make the right decision.
---Mark_V. on 6/18/11


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This fella sure loves acting out the Moses Jr. role...
---Nana on 6/17/11

You talking about Jesus?
Deuteronomy 8:man doth not live by bread only, but by every [word] that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live.

Matthew 4: Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
---francis on 6/17/11


This fella sure loves acting out the Moses Jr. role...

Matthew 19:8-9 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Why does it say, "Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered..."
Why does it not say, "God because of the hardness of your hearts suffered..."
---Nana on 6/17/11


You can't, based on what the Bible states Mark 10:11-12,
11 And He said to them, " Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her,
12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery." From a practical view, ask yourself, "Why did I marry him in the first place?". Then ask, "Why did I divorce him?" Than ask, "Should I remarry him or would it just become the same-ol-same-ol?" Write down your answers to all three questions. I have has seen successful remarriages in the Christian community, but they are been based on very detailed evaluation, not only by the church pastor, but by themselves.
---wivv on 6/17/11


Cluny on 6/17/11
Your arguement is a bit of a waste of time since BOTH say the same thing
SO STOP IT
It is not as if what jesus said contradicted what is in deuteromony, it is the same
---francis on 6/17/11


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So, are you saying that Deuteronomy trumps Jesus?

Do I understand you correctly?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/17/11

No I am saying that Deuteronomy is THE WORD OF GOD, more specifically THE WORD OF JESUS
---francis on 6/17/11


\\What? do you think this just occured to jesus one day while he was siting under a sycomore tree?
---francis on 6/17/11\\

So, are you saying that Deuteronomy trumps Jesus?

Do I understand you correctly?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/17/11


Remarriage after divorce, according to Jesus, is adultery.

Why are you talking like Deuteronomy still applies?

---Cluny on 6/16/11
What? do you think this just occured to jesus one day while he was siting under a sycomore tree?
---francis on 6/17/11


francis, have you heard that this was changed in the NT?

Remarriage after divorce, according to Jesus, is adultery.

Why are you talking like Deuteronomy still applies?

Glory to Jesus Christ.
---Cluny on 6/16/11


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SIMPLE ENOUGH
Deuteronomy 24:1 let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house.

Deuteronomy 24:2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's [wife].

Deuteronomy 24:3 And [if] the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth [it] in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house, or if the latter husband die, which took her [to be] his wife,

Deuteronomy 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled, for that [is] abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance.
---francis on 6/16/11


Congratulations, Mandy!

You're the first woman here who has admitted that she has some blame in a divorce. Truly, seldom is it all one person's fault.

The first question is--does he want to get back with YOU?

If this is BOTH of your ideas (and not just your own fantasy), make sure you see a good marital counsellor FIRST.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/16/11


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