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Correct Other Peoples' Kids

Do you feel it is good etiquette to correct a strangers child in public in the presence of their parent.

Moderator - Sometimes if the parent does not know how to control their kids.

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 ---paul on 7/5/11
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hello!Everyone...prayerfully! be carefull..I had an exp.now has taught me 1.don'texpect the parents or other adults...everyone can see the kid do "dangerous".stuff. Nobody cares! You got to be carefull.. Little child burn up my purse,yes.. I talked to parent & othersnobody did nothing! So,yes,I decide yesI am willing do charity help but,leave me alone away from all of them... sad part the kid not reprimand' from the parents.Everybody "look" ... the other way! the mother told me she never heard nothing...In the U.S. nobody will do much,you just got to be carefull. I refuse to go to church services.I got look out / take care of myself.God my only true help.Just a word to be wise.Love,ELENA.
---ELENA on 11/11/11


I distinctively remember someone always interfering with everone else children to be quite but not giving the child some paper and pens or bringing some sweets or even drinks for them but giving the tutting, giving the evil eye look.

Where are her kids today, on the Streets in hoodies gangs and unmarried, her marriage is bussed up and she is alone.

What am I suggesting don't throw stones when you have a glass house.

Children are bored, children are children, so bless them stop cursing them.

Give them... some thing to drink or eat perhaps some something you know will keep them quite... a toy... a doll or small car to play with.

Suffer the little children apply love NOT hatred


---Carla on 9/30/11


On a recent Sunday am church, I saw one child (parents were talking with others) picking on another child. I did correct him and the child went his way not bothering anyone else....at least that day.
---shira4368 on 9/27/11


No, interfering in someone elses personal life in this manner is a violation of another person's life. Whom do you think you are that you can correct someone elses child, you can be thrown in jail for that. Should we correct you because we think that you are unruly or that you talk to loudly? Mind your own business or else suffer the consequences of being yelled at or cussed out or worse. Someone elses children are none of your children, so keep your bad nose and bad mouth to yourself and mind your own business. Now if the kid is disturbing you personally, then tell it to shut up.
---Eloy on 9/27/11


I have more often felt the urge to correct the parents than the kids.
---Jed on 9/26/11




Donna, "I say, Just size up the situation first!"
Agree. I believe we need to respect the parents given authority, however, some situations, especially immediate danger, would be reason to override.
When I had been given full custody of my children, I would at times appreciate some back up as you say Donna, but again, that was circumstantial, dependent upon who and what...
---Christina on 7/14/11


James L -- I have to agree with Rhonda. Most places, in cities, if you are a stranger, you are suspect. Mention taking a "belt" to any child, and someone could report YOU for making "threats" toward their child. Any uncomplimentary mention of the child's behavior could be bad. You could even be assaulted.

However, in my own smaller community, I know parents of whom, what you say would be true. They do, or try to, discipline their children, but are hesitant to do so in public. They might appreciate some backup.
I even know young women who, perhaps since I am older or they know me from church, apologize to me for their childrens behavior...when they have no reason to!

I say, Just size up the situation first!
---Donna66 on 7/14/11


Rhonda,
that was funny stuff.

I do live in a small town of about 2500 people, but on the outskirts of Kansas City, which has about 2 million people metro-wide.

I've corrected adults at Worlds of Fun, Walmart, restaurants, car dealerships, all over the place.

Kids here act like animals let out of a cage, and you may be surprised at something.

Most parents want to do something about it, but are afraid that someone's going to call the cops.

When I correct the parent, they usually seem relieved, as though they now have permission to be a parent
---James_L on 7/12/11


James L

you must live in a sweet small town

I live in a big city ...correcting a parent would most likely land you in the hospital

today at least from the CITY perspective ...correcting another adult in public is akin to the new-age disrespecting ...adults living in the city today would not be humiliated or shamed into admonishment ...instead they react with anger ...and woe to the person who attempts to correct their kids

maybe in the cutesy small-town-life your style works

however I would not advise anyone to attempt lording over anyone with corrections in the city where liberal thoughts and ideas rule over morals
---Rhonda on 7/12/11


I won't correct a stranger's kid in public unless I have first corrected the parent(s)

I've said to people:

"Do you always let your kid act like an animal in public?"

"Does your kid act like that all the time?"

"Your kid is very lucky that he's not my kid. He would know what a belt feels like."


A little shame goes a long way usually. If that doesn't work, I'll say something to the kid:

"Look here, you may get to act like that at home, but here we act like civilzed human beings. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for acting like that."
---James_L on 7/11/11




Funny Donna66! :)
---John on 7/10/11


MarkV, I'm sorry I did not respond sooner. I appreciate your encouragements.
"...giving thanks in all things." That is one area Christians have the hardest part to accept. Because who wants to give thanks when someone dies or someone suffers? Or we?"
It's also been difficult for me, it's not what my flesh wants to do. BUT, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and so, at some of the most difficult times I have been able to give thanks, praise (You know, God inhabits the praises of His people, and in His presence there is fullness of joy. I've had that joy in some horrific circumstances, and it's only by His Spirit)
---christina on 7/10/11


I grew up in an era when "children" did not always come first. Every "potluck" (not church, John) I attended as a child, children had to go to the back of the line. Now, kids go to the head of the line. It's symbolic of a difference in childrearing philosophy.
I was never told "you are special" but "you are no better than than anybody else." Once I asked if the family could "vote" on some decision. I was told, "this family is not democracy".
To today's parents this might sound demeaning to children. But it wasn't.

Children knew what was expected of them. There was security.
It was comforting to know Adults were in control!!!
---Donna66 on 7/10/11


most parents today treat their children as little buddies ...prophecy of children ruling their parents is becoming more obvious daily

I would say approaching undisciplined children would be EXTREMELY risky

at a school event for my younger child an unruly child was corrected by another parent ...this child reported it to their father who scolded the parent who corrected his child ...to which the child responded with a big smirk and continued behaving badly taunting the parent who corrected him

it's best to mind your own business parents today are generally lazy and ignore their children when they behave badly - it is not for lack of control
---Rhonda on 7/9/11


Christina, I was not thinking of anything you said been wrong. I wanted to give both sides. I love your response, "we count our blessings even when things go bad" giving thanks in all things. That is one area Christians have the hardest part to accept. Because who wants to give thanks when someone dies or someone suffers? Or we? Thank you so much for the hard work you had to go through as a single mom. I wish I could help them all many times. When I was single for four years, I use to take at least eight single moms out to lunch after church services. Many had never been taken out. Then the next week I would take out another eight. I did this for over an year. These sisters had been along for a long time people forgot about them.
---Mark_V. on 7/9/11


Mark, thank YOU for your response.True, sometimes we aren't to blame, but then again, sometimes we are. I did not mean to imply that I had no blame in the situation, I've erred in many ways. True, we count blessings when we don't go through what others do, but even better is to count blessings when we go through what others have not. Not easy to do, but we are to give thanks in all things, are we not? I am moved by hearing of Paul worshiping in chains, and picture Stephen full of the Spirit, being stoned and praying for the forgiveness of his attackers, and Meshach, Shedrach
and Abednego, those who stood, prayed, worshiped through trials. The glory is Gods
---christina on 7/8/11


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Christina, thank you for your answers. I understand completely what you mean. Sometimes we are not to blame. We don't know how they will turn out. We count our blessing when we don't go through what others go through. Many moms and dads try everything and they still fail to stop one of their kids from going wrong. We try to first build a God centered foundation. And teach them right an wrong. At some point they will use that foundation even when they go wrong. It will help them through life, other times they are just destine to go wrong. We pray that God will help them and bring them to Christ.
---Mark_V. on 7/8/11


Paul, your right, each one has his own personality. So I had to deal with each one differently. I also had to understand what is misbehaving and what is expected of children. If I didn't take that into consideration then I would be unfair. Children are children and they have to act and do things children do, but all within limits. My own limits. God gave me that responsibility as authority of my home. If they fail it is many times our fault because of how we bring them up. Single moms have trouble but not all moms. Many are father and mother to their children the way my mom was. I never disrespected her. There was no room for that. She was in control. And I love her for that. She was strong willed, and when she said something, she meant it.
---Mark_V. on 7/8/11


MarkV, "I would teach them respect for people, and most importantly their mom." That's awesome, and a blessing for your wife and children. Many times I wished I had someone to do that, having spent a majority of the time raising them alone. My kids have acted out at times, but all things considered I feel blessed to have my oldest turn from major rebellion to serving the Lord. Even her rebellion I saw, at least in part, as a response to her fathers abuse. It took a lot of work and prayer. My oldest son, sadly, is bitter towards his father, but this too the Lord can change.
---christina on 7/8/11


Mark

I love to hear of parents who bring their children up in the admonition of the Lord, but they ALL act up occasionally no matter how you raise them.

You know personalities, temperaments, pride, anguish, anger,moodiness and all the fleshly nature kind of stuff.

Paul
---paul on 7/8/11


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Paul, I'm proud of Darline for bringing her kids up that way. My kids never misbehaved out of the house and were and still are very respectful. I never spank them, as soon as each one begin to understand I would teach them respect for people, and most importantly their mom. They were always and still are very respectful. Three that are married have children who are also very respectful, loving and kind. Of course there is other people who teach their children that too, but sometimes one comes out very rebellious no matter what you teach. And it is not the lack of parents teaching them sometimes, but in most cases they just don't teach them respect for others anymore.
---Mark_V. on 7/8/11


Darlene

My children never misbehaved out or raaised a ruckus
Darlene 7/7/11

You must be the only person to ever boast that claim.

Paul
---paul on 7/8/11


I'm sure one does lose friends if they don't go along with letting a child misbehave.
---Darlene_1 on 7/7/11

I've been in stores where kids start having a tantrum when I come into the same aisle as them. They even started kicking and hitting me. Maybe the kid got upset that I "invaded" THEIR store aisle.

I told a store security about this. They told me that I could get in trouble because the kid was making "Physical Contact" with me, and I would be considered the ADULT in such a confrontation.

My Advice: AVOID screaming kids! Don't get yourself in trouble!
---Sag on 7/7/11


Donna55,good advice and so true. As I got older a day out with small children is something I avoided. My children never misbehaved out or raaised a ruckus so I never had to deal with it in my own and sure don't want to deal with it in someone elses. I'm sure one does lose friends if they don't go along with letting a child misbehave.
---Darlene_1 on 7/7/11


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A tired, cranky two-and-half year old may kick and scream. It's a sign of his age, not neccessarily family dysfunction.

There was a time when parents knew how to (most often) quell such disruption. Today's parents, especially stressed out single ones, mainly don't try. They just get used it it. And expect everyone else to ignore it too.

If you really can't tolerate it, you might tell the mother that you have trouble driving when her child does that (even pull over to the curb and let her do what she can)...but don't count on keeping her as a friend if you do.
---Donna66 on 7/7/11


Generally speaking, no, I would not, as it's not my place. There have been a couple of exceptions that I can think of, where I corrected and grabbed a child who was about to run into the street while the mother was talking/not paying attention., so, if it
is a matter of safety, then bu all means, intervene.
---christina on 7/7/11


I agree 100% with Darlene 1.
---Donna5535 on 7/7/11


When a child is screaming and acting badly, I usually say "now I know why some animals eat their young"
They get the message and usually a laugh!
---1st_cliff on 7/6/11


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I used to just think of smacking them. Now I pray for them. And I may hang around near the parent and child, and just be pleasant and quiet as an example and smile at and be encouraging to the parent. Sometimes, I am welcomed to just look at a child and maybe say something that can distract the child to being more social. Just be kind and humble so this example can spread to the child, however and whenever God pleases (c:
---Bill_willa6989 on 7/6/11


I would never correct a strangers child out in public,that is not my right. I would go to someone in charge of the place I'm in and complain about the child's behavior disrupting others experience in their establishment. If a child misbehaves in public its because their parents have allowed them to do it. Maybe someone needs to teach the parents how children should act in public.
---Darlene_1 on 7/6/11


Only with the parents permission.
---candice on 7/6/11


I would not even dream of doing such a thing in today's world. Too dangerous and something I would not be interested in doing. People are killing others, at alarming rates. Their understanding is zero when it comes to things of this nature. To be on the safe side...steer clear of bothering other peoples kids. There is no earthly reason for you to touch anothers child when the parent(s) is present. If you have kids,correct your own. If you do well with your own kids, these days, you deserve a gold medal. Raising kids and making marriages work in todays world is a tough,tough thing to do. Mind your own business. The bible tells us so.
---Robyn on 7/6/11


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Sag

I feel you had every right to correct that child for he/she was in your personal private property.

But I feel to arbitrarily correct a child for a behavioral issue in public is overstepping our societal responsibilities.

If we do not like the way a parent is parenting its child in public we can simply leave the situation.

Unless a child is going to get hurt or hurt someone I feel as a stranger it is not my place to enforce my parenting tactics onto someones child.

God Bless, Paul
---paul on 7/6/11


I once was helping a church group move a single mother and her 2 1/2 year old son.

I got the dis-honor of giving mother, and son, a ride in my car. Big Mistake! The kid was kicking & screaming the entire time I was trying to drive safely. I'm just lucky I wasn't stopped or given a ticket.

I later asked the church leaders about correcting kids in this situation. They laughed at me. Well, if I can't correct the kids, then they don't ride in my car anymore. EVER that is.

I don't mean to suggest that kids from these families are bad or anything. The kids are just showing the hurt that comes from family breakups.
---Sag on 7/6/11


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