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Husband Works Too Much

I feel so alone, is it wrong to want a divorce because my husband works all the time? I don't work and want to be a SAHM, but sadly don't have kids yet. He works weekends and can't go to church with me, so I just go alone and have to see all these good christian men who go every Sunday with their families.

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 ---Becky on 7/9/11
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I do understand how you feel. Life can be so cruel sometimes. We start with the best of intentions and then things sour so quickly. If your husband working too much is really bothering you, tell him so, and how lonely you are. He should be aware of what is going on with you. If he does not try to chang things, perhaps, you should, seek a better life for yourself. I predict things will get worse if you stay with him and have kids. You and he need to work on your relationship right now. Another thing. Quit looking at other people and comparing your self and your situation to theirs. You will only make yourself more miserable. Don't ever try to keep up with the Joneses.
---Robyn on 7/21/11


Rhonda: Do you even know what you are talking about?
****

HELLO???? dearest poosey darling YOU asked a question and AGAIN I give an answer and you pick pick pick and incessantly pick and then in your DELUSIONAL state tell me I don't know what I'M talking about??? and GUESS WHAT you continue with your name calling, putting down, and belittling not just me but so many others too ...

you're out of touch and your hostility and anger are only increasing with EVERY post

good luck to you poosey dear

as for poster ...maybe they can wade through the mess of your BITTER posts to find an answer
---Rhonda on 7/21/11


Becky, yes, it is wrong to want a divorce for that reason. Most churches have another service in the evening and in the middle of the week. Perhaps he would like to go together with you to church then. Find out what times he is not working or what days he is off of work, and then check the church schedule to see if they have any services during those times, and if there isn't then ask the pastor if he could have a service at least one time per week when your husband is not working- who knows, there may be other wives who which there was a church service when their husbands have off work also. You could also consider having your own get together Bible study in your house when your husband is off, and invite some friends to bring their Bibles.
---Eloy on 7/21/11


Haz27: Your insight into learned patterns of behavior shows wisdom. Many people who had abusive or alcoholic parents have a lot of unresolved anger and it comes out in abusive language and behavior. I know I had a lot of unresolved anger from my childhood that came out in abusive language, much like the name calling we see here.

A mature Christian, controlled by the Holy Spirit gets help in dealing with their anger so they do not lash out and name call or hurt people with their words. I was very immature in my behavior and hurt many people with my words, until I got therapy and discipled by a mature Christian sister.

You are right, we need to pray for the sisters and brothers here who use abusive language.
---Trish9863 on 7/21/11


poopsey:
You've missed my point.
We all have weaknesses etc, often from learned behaviors from our parents.

Just as you find it difficult to overcome your abusiveness, your husband likewise in being a workaholic.

But we should continue to love one another and forgive 7x70. Not divorce because our partner fails to measure up.

These women on these blogs who propose divorce over lack of gifts or husband works too much to support SAHM, they have so many weaknesses/failures of their own and yet their husbands aren't thinking about divorce.

Divorce is the selfish way out.
---Haz27 on 7/21/11




Haz27: You are a jerk. An abusive jerk. Thanks for using my childhood against me and also my husband's problem with working too much.

Again, you are a jerk.
---poopsey on 7/21/11


poopsey...I wasn't talking to you!!!!! Sorry, Cluny, I just couldn't help myself. LOL
---KarenD on 7/20/11


Poopsey: In my response to the OP's question, I tried to differentiate between someone working long hours due to financial need, and someone working long hours for other reasons.

I am fully aware of workaholism as an addiction. That is why I suggested marital therapy. A person who works long hours may well be in denial that there is a problem, and the neglected spouse may need an objective third party to explain to the workaholic the realities of work addiction, just like any other addiction.
---Trish9863 on 7/20/11


NurseRobert:
I recall in a previous blog poopsey explained how she had an abusive/alcoholic father. I guess this is why we see this abusiveness.

Many of our behaviors are learned behaviors from our parents. My ex-wife was aggressive/abusive just like her father, who she resented because this behavior.

Seems that poopsey is having just as much difficulty getting past her abusive/aggressive patterns as her husband is with being a workaholic.

I pray both of them will continue to love each other in spite of their weaknesses, and not seek the selfish divorce option.
---Haz27 on 7/20/11


Poopsey, you know NOTHING about the OP except for what she posted, so YOU are just as guilty as me for "making assumptions"

The tone of your posts show you to be an arrogant, angry person. When you disagree with someone, you jump to name calling and belittling. Such a wonderful Christian response.

Reading the responses here show most of the posters know this person very well. You, on the other hand, immediately jumped on the husband as the issue. Perhaps it YOU who doesnt understand the OP.
---NurseRobert on 7/20/11




I GOT IT!!!

Switch your Rooster with the other Hen who Posted "My Husband is Lazy" or the one that posted " My husband doesn't work".

That should stop your Squawking!
---John on 7/20/11


NurseRobert: Just because I say it how it is you say I am angry? You don't know me and have assumed wrongly again.

You don't understand or have any compassion for the op so move along then.

As for Trish. You don't understand workaholism at all. It has nothing to do with the relationship but has to do with the person within themselves. My husband was like this his whole adult life and I am the only one who has stood by him for 20 years.

It has nothing to do with money or materialism but is an addiction of sorts to escape oneself or pain from the past.

I don't suggest divorce but when everything has been tried and you can't cope and want to jump off the bridge then maybe it is time to divorce and cut your losses.
---poopsey on 7/20/11


Poopsey, I may be making a wrong assumption, but your posts are dripping with anger.
---NurseRobert on 7/19/11


Having a husband/wife who works all the time is not a reason to divorce. It is a reason to sit down and, as a couple, explore ways to make it possible for that spouse to work less.

Options include, both spouses working, cutting back on expenses, relocating to a less expensive home, etc.

If the spouse is working all the time for other reasons, then they need to work out the relationship. If necessary, go to marital therapy.
---Trish9863 on 7/19/11


NurseRobert: I hope you are not making false assumptions. My husband buys me gifts so I am not speaking from experience on that. However, my husband would be considered to be a workaholic and I do have experience on that one. He already knows what I think about that and he was like this before he met me so it is his problem and he needs to work on it.

KarenD: Yes, God hates divorce. And God also divorced Israel. God also hates it when spouses abuse each other and neglect each other. A lot of people are married in name only or on paper but there is no real closeness or bond. The two become one and should act like a unit but people are selfish and often live for themselves only and just use other people including their spouses.
---poopsey on 7/19/11


BECKY!!!!! Did you figure out yet that God hates divorce?
---KarenD on 7/19/11


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Who really is selfish are husbands that don't buy their wives gifts but get gifts.
---poopsey on 7/19/11

Sounds like someone is speaking from experience?

Poopsey, you have my prayers for your relationships.
---NurseRobert on 7/19/11


KarenD: I have had problems with Haz27 before so there is a reason. I'm not materialistic are you???

Who really is selfish are men who are workaholics and neglect their wives. Who really is selfish are husbands that don't buy their wives gifts but get gifts.

Marriage is a reciprocal relationship and if the marriage is neglected for whatever reason then it will suffer. That is reality whether you like it or not.

It is all about relationship and not about the money. Capish???
---poopsey on 7/19/11


John: I have been off CNet for almost two weeks, due to computer issues, and just read this entire blog and can't believe you brought my name up of all things.

As for the OP: If her hubby is working to support their lifestyle, then she should consider getting a job so he can work less, and she can feel less lonely.

Working or not, she has no real grounds for divorce.

I remember many times in my marriage where my husband and I both worked and went to school to support our family and make it easier to support them in the future.

John: There is nothing wrong with being for equal rights for women. Women used to be chattel, and exchanged in marriage as a business transaction.
---Trish9863 on 7/18/11


I thought we were all talking to each other on this site. Guess not! You can pretty well tell who is materialistic and who is not!
---KarenD on 7/18/11


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Haz27: I wasn't talking to you.
---poopsey on 7/18/11


poopsey:
Your "does your husband buy you gifts" question you referred to from a previous blog has one BIG similarity to this blog topic.
Both the women posting these topics are foolishly considering divorce as the answer.

You said you had a valid reason for asking Rhonda your question. As both these women are considering divorcing over either lack of gifts or husband working too hard providing for SAHM wife, I am curious how you can make any valid point in favor of such selfish attitudes?

But, Rhonda's criticism of the above selfish attitudes towards a marriage partner are valid.

I think both these women would do better reading Cluny's blog on whats good about your marriage.
---Haz27 on 7/18/11


Rhonda: Do you even know what you are talking about?

SUV's and lake lots? Where does that come from. I don't have or even like SUV's. My husband has a Jeep and I drive that. And we don't have a lake lot but I would like to move to an acreage if feasible in the future.

Bottom line is I am not a materialist so the SUV and lake lot is a non issue.

I just think you to be very evasive. You like to ask questions but you don't like to answer them. And the reference to the husband giving gifts had a valid reason.

As for markv. You are way out to lunch on that one and I see he has already corrected you.

Please refrain from your stupidity. I find it rather boring.
---poopsey on 7/18/11


thanks poopsey sweety your hostile "loving" christian hatred and anger is well noted
---Rhonda on 7/13/11

Man, is that the pot calling the kettle black..
---NurseRobert on 7/17/11


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Rhonda, let me make it clear, I am not stalking you. I disagree with the way you answer others when you are real harsh on them and when you speak against Trinitarians. You don't discuss with Scripture, because many have ask you questions and you do not answer, but speak against what you feel others are doing that you are not, and somehow you are righteous and they are not, in your opinion. I have agreed with some of your points, but not your attitude. But I don't stalk anyone with that intention.
---Mark_V. on 7/17/11


You still never answered my question. Does your husband buy you gifts?
****

seriously?? where did you ask that and how does it relate to this topic or any of my responses? unless you are another markv - stalking me across multiple topics curious thing you plant YOUR identity crisis on me

so my not answering is quite a stretch on your part ...would a brand new SUV, a lake house for the kids count? ...at 52 my youngest is not even in middles school YET ...as for overworked yes the drama-mammas are always "overworked" the rest of us mothers call our work a BLESSING ...and hubby has 6 weeks of vacation a year ALL for US ...pathetic your absurd assumptions ...your hostile anger is sad
---Rhonda on 7/16/11


I wouldn't repost either if I were Becky, holy heart failure batman! Agree with the truths in your comments, but yikes! I think I'd crawl into a hole after some of those comments. Some of us are not as thick skinned as you all.
---Katie on 7/14/11


Rhonda: You are welcome. You still never answered my question. Does your husband buy you gifts? If he did then you would answer so by not answering you are answering so I will assume that the answer is no.

You raised all those kids took care of the house and worked too. You must be in your retirement years now so why doesn't your husband take care of you and just let you take care of the home?

I think you are overworked. Perhaps you gain your identity from what you do instead of who you are. That is the problem with working too much.

Please try to have more compassion for other people that don't have your stoic nature. Some of us actually are more sensitive and would like to be loved a little.
---poopsey on 7/14/11


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thanks poopsey sweety your hostile "loving" christian hatred and anger is well noted

I don't really entertain anyone here who is so immature to start the name calling LOL it's bad enough the hateful false christians are sending me to hell and call me unsaved

oh the lying love so many preach on their high horses

trot away darling
---Rhonda on 7/13/11


Strange Becky never posted again since her question. Hmmmm

Paul
---paul on 7/13/11


It's ok Poopsey just joking with ya.

==========================================================

Looks like we have a Phonda Fan club here! :)
---John on 7/13/11


John....Thank you for the apology.
---karenD on 7/13/11


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I agree with Poopsey...find out why he works so much, but also look at it from another prospective. He is working to bring in the money to pay the bills. Since you don't have kids you should be working too. If you work as well then he wouldn't have to work as much...he could reduce work hrs. and spend more time with you.

To want a divorce for the reason listed is wrong. It is selfish in the sense that you want it because things aren't going your way. Am I wrong? Divorce, according to scripture, should only be done when someone commits adultery.
---Rickey on 7/13/11


Seeing all the good christian men who go every Sunday with their families is wrong too because it seems that you are coveting what they have. A husband's job is to PROVIDE, PROTECT, & SUSTAIN. Your husband seems to be doing so.

The word alone means "one, separte" or "All One". Many get married w/o becoming "All One" thinking that the other person is going to make them "whole" and fulfill their "lonliness". If a person is lonely b4 they marry then they are going to be lonely when they marry.
---Rickey on 7/13/11


John,

I second that comment about Rhonda.

Amen
---James_L on 7/13/11


Rhonda: "how sad your husband is your entertainment and not your partner in LIFE"

Listen LOSER. That was a joke. And actually my husband can be entertaining and what is wrong with that? What's wrong with a little fun, huh? You sound like an old sock.

Who said my husband wasn't my partner, LOSER. Don't start with me because you won't win.

Sorry John but I don't like Rhonda or her attitude.

And Rhonda you never did answer that question I asked you a while back. Does your husband buy you gifts?
---poopsey on 7/13/11


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John:
You've got competition.
I'm looking for a Rhonda clone too.
---Haz27 on 7/13/11


John, I agree her answers here are correct to this blog, but do you want a person to be "your complete partner in Christ" as you said, if she doesn't believe Jesus is God? Or do you agree with that too? I know that we could never make it. I know for a fact I would never want a complete partner in Christ who teaches others that Christ is a created being. It would be the worse decision I ever made.
---Mark_V. on 7/13/11


Watch it Poopsey!

Rhonda is one strong Christian woman.
The Debra of this site.

She has none of the typical hangups.

I only wish she had a clone. This is the type of woman I am looking for in marriage.

A complete partner in Christ!

Amen!
---John on 7/12/11


Ok Becky, after multiple posts where you got bashed and people bashed either other on here, what do you think?

Are you still upset? do you still want to divorce your hubby?

Did you decide to sit down with him and have a talk??
---NurseRobert on 7/12/11


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Rhonda: You are out to lunch. Believe it or not taking care of the home is work.
****

Whatever poopsey dear ...I have two generations of children and take care of siblings children too ...my husband works fulltime and I work parttime AND take care of the home

I'm not home watching the clouds roll by incessantly whining that my hubby is working HIS TAIL off to provide for me and the kids and boo hoo hoo I have nobody and NOTHING to do

READ The post next time poopsey because honey if you haven't met a women like this poster you live in a box ....how sad your husband is your entertainment and not your partner in LIFE
---Rhonda on 7/12/11


My apologies Karen. I must have confused you with Trish.
---John on 7/12/11


Karen

Glad to hear you and your husband are doing a work for the Lord, My wife and I also Pastor a Pentecostal Church.

It simply amazes me the way some posters disrespect Christian Leaders with total disregurd to their service.

I cant imagine me speaking to a Pastor the way some of these people do.

The world isn't the only place of unrighteous deeds, unfortunately the Christian world is full of it also.

Thanks for you and your husbands service.

Paul
---paul on 7/12/11


Rhonda: You are out to lunch. Believe it or not taking care of the home is work. If you are creative you can make good use of your time. People equate work with a paycheck but a lot of important work like being a wife and mother go unpaid and unappreciated in society.

And what is wrong with wanting your husband to entertain you? I can't wait for my husband to get home to entertain me. LOL

KarenD: I don't believe she wants out of her marriage. I believe she wants to have a closer relationship with her husband and his working too much is creating distance.
---poopsey on 7/12/11


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Be aware that KarenD is a Self Proclaim Feminist.

She has a disdain for "Stay at Home Moms" and is Pro-abortion etc..
---John on 7/11/11

You statement is slanderous and non-Christian. You cannot find any post of mine that supports your comment. I believe that abortion is MURDER. I am not a feminist. In fact, I believe that every mother with children at home should be a stay at home mother. However, Becky does not have any children as of yet. Becky just wants a way out of her marriage. My husband and I pastor a pentecostal church! Please do not tell lies about me!!!!!!
---KarenD on 7/12/11


feelings come and go

as for supposedly "feeling so alone" then get out and find a part-time job to be busy for part of the time rather than simply being IDLE and spending time waiting around for your husband to be your entertainment

you can't play a "SAHM" if you don't have kids ...so until you have them get busy with hobbies and interests so you are not a bore and whining about your husband who pays the bills so you have a carefree life of leisure

divorce? if your husband spends all his waking hours working then yes he is married to his job ..however most men whose wives accuse them of "working all the time" is an exaggeration ..simply self-absorbed and unappreciative
---Rhonda on 7/12/11


Becky:
To answer your question "is it wrong to want a divorce....", YES it is wrong. Jesus even said divorce is from hardness of heart.

If you don't work and stay at home feeling alone, why not find a job to get an income to save up for when you eventually get kids. That goal will keep you from being alone. Perhaps your husband works all the time to
save up for your plan to be a SAHM with kids. His work for this goal could be his way of showing his love for you.

Also follow God's counsel in His word. You won't find reasons for divorce there, but love instead.
---Haz27 on 7/12/11


Okay Paul: I am not being silly but am dead serious. I don't like brown sugar so don't give me any of it.

This woman needs to confront her husband on his working too much and perhaps they need to both make some compromises so everyone can be happy.

As an example. My husband knows he has a problem in this area even though he doesn't like to admit it. How do I know this? Because when I confront him on it he goes out of his way to try to accommodate me. That shows he does love me and cares about my needs too.

This woman's husband needs to do the same thing. He needs to show with his actions that he loves and values his wife if he wants to stay married for the long term.
---poopsey on 7/12/11


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Darline, that is one of the most important verses for couples and for just friends. But mainly for those who are married since they live together. And many times things are said and if we don't take care of them before we go to sleep, the next day they become worse. And then it will be harder to ask for forgiveness from the other. Many times the things that break up families start with something so small. Thank you Darline, Peace I leave you.
---Mark_V. on 7/11/11


Paul: I said you are being stupid not that you are stupid. Learn how to read!

So if you don't like reality then go climb up someone else's tree.
---poopsey on 7/11/11

Poopsey

Do you think these are proper Chris like response?
Terms like STUPID are offensive whether used as a verb or a noun.
I come on here for intellectual discussions not juvenile and slanderous mud slinging.
I wish you and your husband the best but I am done with your silliness.

Paul
---paul on 7/11/11


Hmmm. Another one looking for a reason to get a divorce.

Think about it - if he were home more, he would probably make more messes for you to have to clean up. Then you might be asking of it's ok to divorce a slob.

My brother's ex-wife complained that he didn't provide a good enough income for her and their kids. So he took a second job and also started cleaning gutters on weekends to provide better. Then she complained that he was never home.

I will readily agree that there are many men who over-work. But, there are also many women who push their man to over-work.

Introspection first. Are you a chronic complainer? Work is a vacation from that.

After you address yourself first, then him.
---James_L on 7/11/11


Be aware that KarenD is a Self Proclaim Feminist.

She has a disdain for "Stay at Home Moms" and is Pro-abortion etc..
---John on 7/11/11


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MarkV thank you,its nice of you to say so. If couples live by the love chapter in the Bible it wouldn't be hard to think of ones spouse with a caring heart. One thing I learned while still a teenage bride and wife was the Bible verse which says donn't let the Sun go down upon your wrath,so I would never go to bed with any harsh feeling toward my husband. That makes each day a brnd new beginning for a marriage. I'm sorry you had such a bad expeience with your prior marriage,but you're right its important to touch for it keeps a bond between the two partners. Just a pat on the shoulde with a smile can bring a glow of happines. Consideration builds a marriage,love grows a marriage,wisdom guides it,and patience endures it.
---Darlene_1 on 7/11/11


Paul: I said you are being stupid not that you are stupid. Learn how to read!

Don't you have any discernment. And I was just using my husband as an example. A workaholic will use any excuse to work just like an alcoholic will use any excuse to drink. This problem has nothing to do with love or the other spouse.

Like I already said my husband was like this before I ever met him. My husband at least tries to consider what I am saying and make more time and hopefully the op can get through to her husband and that if this continues it will destroy their marriage.

These are serious problems and the religious quick fix won't work.

So if you don't like reality then go climb up someone else's tree.
---poopsey on 7/11/11


this is a new one, mostly we read that someone is too lazy... on the other hand your husband might be a compulsive workaholic, and this could need some spiritual help. sadly most people do not recognise this as a psycholgical disorder for isn't HE WORKING? present your case to the pastor of your church, and ask for prayers.
---andy3996 on 7/11/11


Darline, you gave the best advice. After reading the blog, I can also see what you see. Couples run into many problems for lack of effort. I remember in my prior marriage, all I felt I needed was to be loved. If she had just touched my hand every once in a while, I would have never felt the way I did. One touch. But she never reached out. Little things divide couples. Many want to work overtime just to avoid going home. My former wife hated to come home. I did all I could at home and nothing worked. We cannot make someone love us, or feel what we feel. But we can change our ways and trust in the Lord. Get busy with our lives and depend on God to take care of the rest.
---Mark_V. on 7/11/11


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i feel sorry for this unappreciated man :,(
---kevin5443 on 7/11/11


Can you find a church that might fit your schedule better. There are many churchs who meet on Saturday or Sunday nights. there are also online churchs that meet during the week. Also have you talked about it with your husband about having a sabbath. Having kids will not solve your lonelyness. He should have a day off during the week go somewhere together and it probably will not be crowded.
---Scott on 7/11/11


Poopsey

When you comment on something that is near and dear to your heart you impose your bias onto the situation.

And I don't appreciate you calling me stupid because I have a different point of view.

When you resort to name calling most people who have any discernment at all can see where the issues are.

And Christ did not forsake the Church but gave Himself for it, you ever stop to think perhaps that is what this man is doing, giving of himself to build a future for this couple?

Good day madam,
---paul on 7/10/11


You could also get a job and work
---KarenD on 7/10/11

This is what many married couples end up doing.

Often it is because they just have to. My own sister is part of a two-earner family.

Many women are now the major wage earner for their families. Women often have better advancement opportunities than men. Many tax laws even encourage companies to hire women over men.

And so on. There are many variations and situations.

I think that it all comes down to being Thankful for what you have and praying that GOD would make you Content. If you feel that changes are needed, then Pray, but don't even begin to think that divorce will help. That will most likely make things worse.
---Sag on 7/10/11


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Yes it's wrong to divorce for loneliness. Your husband has a job,praise God a lot of people don't in this recession,support him instead of complaining. Stop being jealous of others and pray for that man of yours. Talk to him and ask if you and he can have a date night once a month, but don't nag. Get busy in Christian Womens groups,Bible study,or learn to do a craft. Find something to fill your time. Stop feeling sorry for yourself look at what you do,I don't have kids,I'm lonely,he doesn't go to church with me,its all about you,what about him? Make him nice meals,be pretty and sweet when he gets home,and offer to give him a massage for that hard working body. Fulfillment comes through effort and giving. Love without strings attached.
---Darlene_1 on 7/10/11


Paul: It is not bias and you are being stupid. Did Christ neglect the church? Should husbands neglect their wives?

There are many religious people who don't seem to have a clue about what real life and marriage is about. Are you one of them?

I used my marriage as an example. My husband works too much and he was like this all his life. People that are workaholics have a problem within themselves and they use work to escape themselves and if confronted are often in denial.

If her husband has other good qualities and is willing to give her more time I'm sure everything will work out. You can't neglect your marriage and expect it to be a close one.
---poopsey on 7/10/11


Becky

Mt comment should have read, nothing you said is Biblically accurate.

Spell check must have superimposed bionically.

Paul
---paul on 7/10/11


Sounds to me like a young man who is thinking about the future of his coming family(Children/Home)

He may be thinking "If I really hustle now when I'm young I can slow the pace later on. He's likely worried about the economy. What he's doing is very admirable.

Now if you were married 20yrs.(i.e.Poopsey) then like Poopsey, I would see other reasons. Mainly the ones Poopsey stated.

His job(like all of ours) is probably teetering and he has that stress and again(as we all stated) he now has the stress of an immature girl who yet to become a mature woman and support his efforts and ease his stress level. For the marriage and for his health.

Toss the Vanity mirror away and look at his needs and G-d commmands.
---John on 7/10/11


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I too am home ALL THE TIME. My husband is self-employed therefore works constantly. He does go to church with me though. I got 2 little dogs to keep me company. I love them dearly. Plus I keep myself busy cooking, canning, crocheting,anything to make our home & my husbands life better. You should also spend some time EVERYDAY reading the Bible & praying for God's help to be the wife you should be. Don't be envying the husband's at church. They would have flaws you'd have a hard time dealing with as well. Nobody's perfect. Try to be more grateful that your husband works & supports you.
---Reba on 7/10/11


there is a fine line between working & overworking. Your husband needs to balance out his job & marriage. It is wonderful he is working,and thank God for that! however too much work isn't good for anybody and he needs to be reminded what it means to be a husband as well.
---Candice on 7/10/11


one thing i have observed since i have been blogging here is that the advice others given on personal questions is usually based in gender bias. don't be unduly sidetracked by this.

before you determine right or wrong, please tell us if this was the situation before you got married. how long have you been married? do you do good at being a SAHW? What is your husband's attitude towards having children right now? What is preventing impregnation now?

your feelings about something can be much different than your actions. if jesus is truly within, and you look there, you will eventually replace your feelings with action...good or bad. either way you will reap the benefits...good or bad.
---aka on 7/10/11


Yes! It is wrong to want a divorce because your husband is working to support YOU. Surely he doesn't work on Sunday nights or Wednesday nights. Look for a church where they have services when he is not working. You could also get a job and work to keep your husband from having to work so much.
---KarenD on 7/10/11


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Some wonderful comments here!

Becky, how long have you been married? Have you ever sat down and told him what you are thinking? Does he make enough income to support you as a SAHM? Is he afraid he can't support your needs unless he works all the time.

I have always worked a lot, and for most of my married life, my wife was a SAHM. I worked so she COULD do that. I'm blessed because I'm married to someone who understands my drive to be supportive of her.

Maybe its time to assess your lifestyle and talk with him about your needs.

The best advice has been given.. talk to a more experienced woman in the church.
---NurseRobert on 7/10/11


poopsey

We should never counsel from our bias but from what is right and wrong.

Paul
---paul on 7/10/11


--I feel so alone, is it wrong to want a divorce because my husband works all the time?--

Yep

Just spend time with him on his days off.
---CraigA on 7/10/11


Why do you want to be a SAHM?

You can only do that if your husband produces enough income ... maybe that is why he is working so much

Why not join in the reality of being a married woman, and stop being selfish
---alan8566_of_uk on 7/10/11


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Oh, boo, hoo, hoo.

There are so many women who come here complaining that their husbands won't do a lick of work, and you are worrying that your husband works TOO much?

Let me tell you something about men. Their identity and masculinity is generally linked to their careers and ability to provide for their families.

And yes, it's wrong to want a divorce for the reasons you gave.

Grow up!

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 7/10/11


You are not immature. You just want to have a relationship with your husband and he is neglecting you.

My husband is what I would consider a workaholic and I've been putting up with it for 20 years now. I just had a conversation with him today and asked him how long he thinks he would keep his job if he neglected it. The same goes for marriage.

Try to find out why he needs or feels he needs to work so hard. If it is a matter of survival then that is one thing but if he uses it as a way to escape himself then that is another.

At the very least tell him that he needs to spend time with you or else you might not stick around for the long haul. Tell him he needs to make you a priority if he values your marriage.
---poopsey on 7/10/11


My sister, if yo hubby is truly busy due to work pressure, try to understand and support him. That way you can also make him see the importance of having time with you.

I agree with one blogger urging you to see older women in church for advice.
Farai
---Farai on 7/10/11




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