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Difficult Church Member Visit

If you visit a senior relative or church member, in order to help the person, but the person turns out to be difficult and even nasty how do we deal with an "impossible" person?

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 ---Bill_willa6989 on 8/10/11
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bill i would say that it's good to still bless the person and be patient.understand that the patient may not still feel well by the time you visit.Some need to be well rested and so visitors need to be limit.
we need not be discouraged in doing good even if the person doesn't appreciate us. We, Christians are here to please God and not man
---mj on 8/24/11


Bill-willa, when I was in the hospital, I also didn't want visitors from my church or friends to come and visit me. I was only open for my family to come. I didn't feel like I had to, even though they may have good intentions. Which they did. I was not in any condition to have company. We should all understand that the patient does not feel good at the time. The best is to pray for them and not take it against them for not allowing us to see them. If I was dying, and knew it, of course I would love to see everyone I could. The elderly are difficult many times. I visit elderly and many are happy I go and others are not. I totally understand their condition.
---Mark_V. on 8/21/11


I would try to find out what the problem was first. If the reason given was legitimate. I would try again. You could have been out of line,perhaps. But if this person is beyond reasoning I would put distance between us.Take my assistance somewhere else. Give it to someone that was more appreciative. That would definitely solve the problem.
---Robyn on 8/18/11


Eloy is right on this one. The Bible says "You have not because you ask not" and "Ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you." If someone is so prideful that they refuse help, much less ask for it, then they shall not receive it.
---Jed on 8/17/11


I will like to support/butress Eloy's answer, "You cannot force help onto someone whom does not want your help" with 2 Bible passages: Roman 14:15 & Matt.10:12-15. Please read & stay blessed.
---Adetunji on 8/15/11




The world is full of stubborn and rebellious and nasty flesh. You cannot force help onto someone whom does not want your help. Go and visit someone else.
---Eloy on 8/12/11


Bill, We ourselves, "are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. and put on the new [man] who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him. Therefore, as [the] elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also [must do]. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body, and be thankful." Refs Col. 3:1-17
---Josef on 8/12/11


When you are asked to visit someone like this is it best to pray before you go. Then make sure that you pray for the person as soon as you get in the room. Then you make a quick exit in order to avoid problems. You will certainly be the person whom they complain about to the next person they see. Been there, done that.
---KarenD on 8/11/11


Bill,Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from a person who is being verbally abusive and then you will be able to pray for them.

Here's something else. I moved into my complex and had the most difficult obstinate, bossy neighbor who everyone hated.

I decided to make friends with her. I wanted to show her God's love. No matter how she irked me, and told me to "put your money in a 401K." "Open your verticles." I let her say whatever she wanted. I would laugh.

Today, she is on the verge of getting saved..she wants to know about this Jesus I worship.

She is Jewish. I love her dearly and today we are very good friends. You can soften the hardest heart with LOVE. KEEP LOVING THEM!!!!
---Donna5535 on 8/11/11


Yes, Cluny, I would say I have pushed myself to be the great hero visitor, and this got me into various scrapes.

And, Trish, you said, "tell them you have to leave, and you will come back when they are feeling better." lolololol Indeed, a nasty person is not feeling well in God's love.

"with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love," (Ephesians 4:2)
---Bill_willa6989 on 8/10/11




Love is the answer in dealing with difficult people (in particular the elderly). The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. From personal experience of dealing with my Grandfather who had a stroke, I know that my Grandfather was probably abused by his father (a preacher), and thus he hates God and does not want anything to do with God. Recently, I have discovered that love is the answer, and we have gotten closer, despite years of butting heads. I believe that he will come to Jesus before he dies because of this love.
---Leslie on 8/10/11


God bless,..you didn't mention but, Let me say I guess you alot younger than the church member you visited.. Ya know I had go for Chemo...Felt horrible! People have told me,things I replied when they spoke to Me! Just let Me tell you The person IS SICK...Be forgiving,be kind ..Most of all pray God give you Wisdom,Older folks & illness hard on us( yes!) and better send a Card sometimes! The church Member apparantly, that day.. Not up for visitors. God loves you both :) ELENA
---ELENA on 8/10/11


Did you drop in uninvited or even unannounced?

And were you really helping the person?

Or were you just meddling?

Did you even ASK if any help were needed or desired?

There's a saying. "She lives for others. You can tell the others by their hunted expression."

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 8/10/11


Pray for them, and if they get nasty, tell them you have to leave, and you will come back when they are feeling better.
---Trish9863 on 8/10/11


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