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Pastor's Wife Doesn't Talk

My paster's wife is making my church life miserable. She never speaks to me. Looks straight at me and nothing, even if i speak. I play the organ and have been going to this church for a year and not one time has she spoken. What's up with that, you think.

Moderator - Just ask her.

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 ---joyce on 9/13/11
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I can understand how you feel. I have been attending my present church for over 4 years. Most people are now fine, but the pastor's wife actually avoids me. I have walked up to her and she just looks away. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't want to become a member of a church in which I don't feel as though the leadership like me for some reason.
---Sarah on 9/16/16

Joyce I am so sorry to hear about this lady. Maybe she is really shy. I have been attending my present church for about a year and, until recently 2 ladies were still not speaking to me so one week I just said to one "I'm sorry I still don't know your name - I think I can now remember everyone else's" She told me her name and has spoken to me ever since. A similar scenario followed with the other. You say that you have spoken to this lady so maybe you should move up a gear and ask her something which actually required an answer. Pray about it and I will also.
---Rita_H on 11/15/12

\\From time to time God leads us to confront.\\

I am led to confront you frequently, pat, but you don't seem to appreciate it.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/15/12

From time to time God leads us to confront. Ask God is this one of the time. Also, just because she is the wife of the preacher, does not mean that she is wrapped too tight. Believe you me, you never know. I don't understand why this would make your life so miserable. Maybe a little uncomfortable.
---pat on 11/15/12

Well, actually it is better that she is like that than to gossip to you about someone else in church. There are those that do that, believe it or not
---meli on 11/14/12

Pray about it, be honest with yourself and find a way to talk about it with her.
---adeba5968 on 10/21/11

A person who wants friends must shown themself to be friendly. You make the first move, invite her to your place for tea and cookies or something and spend some time talking about each of your likes and dislikes.
---Eloy on 9/27/11

hello,my sister I ponder from lots exp. females didn't for" what ever" like me...yes,my exp. jealousy,cliches all that foolishness shouldn't be in church.. gossip,please just my advice I pray you just let it be..Love the sister 'n silence & be at peace..obvious, does not want talk let it go! Thankfull,she not 'n a rage take her issues out ! really bad things happen to me prior/now,I love my church. I just go to receive & give to the lord. Love of Jesus
---ELENA on 9/26/11

Joyce, you ask the question as if we belonged to the same church. We don't know so why ask us, "what's up with that?"
Why don't you walk up to her and say, "please forgive me if I have offended you in some way"
Then she will say either, "No you haven't" or she might say, "you did this or that" but she will answer something. I don't think she will not say a word. Try it.
---Mark_V. on 9/25/11

It is smart for a pastors wife not to say much. Some churches I have seen is a place of some gossip and no pastors wife needs to get into that. She needs to stand by her husband and keep a low profile.
---shira3877 on 9/20/11

Mark V, thank you for your encouragement. Maybe some way I can do someone some good.
---Elder on 9/18/11

Brother Elder, you are doing great. I enjoy your comments and some times I laugh the way you respond by not insulting but putting some humor. Thank you brother.
---Mark_V. on 9/17/11

"Moderator - Just ask her".
Simple, and the bottom line. Only she has a valid answer to your question.
---Josef on 9/18/11

As a pastor's wife I try to stand at the back of the church as people are leaving and greet each of them. 99% of them are very happy and grateful that they have been in the house of the Lord that day. The other 1% are whiners. One lady shook my hand and then looked at the walls that were painted six months ago and said, "I still don't like that color." I told her that we would be more than happy to let her buy the paint and repaint the walls as the last person had done. She decided maybe she would get used to the color.
---KarenD on 9/16/11

Mark V, thank you. I post on these blogs and just try to make folks think. I don't know how well that is working.
I have also found that if I want to know something about someone else I ask them.
God Bless.
---Elder on 9/15/11

Elder, you gave a great answer, it also made me laugh when you said,

"Politly get face to face and ask her!!
Wouldn't it poke a hole in your boat if she were a mute or deaf?"

That would be something.
---Mark_V. on 9/15/11

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The wife not talking to you could be a good thing, you might hear something about the "man of god" that you don't like.
---michael_e on 9/14/11

Why don't you say hi to her and then ask her "how are you doing?" You start the dialogue with her, if she ignores you, I would say something like, "I noticed you don't socialize much with the parishioners, is there a reason why?"

My former Pastor's wife never spoke, but was friendly to us. One day she confided in me and said she is shy. I was like, "Well I'm not, let's talk now that you're willing to." To this day (28 years later, we are still friends).

You never know what's going on in her mind. Ask her how she's doing, questions about HER, not you...see if she bites.
---Donna5535 on 9/14/11

Only you can answer this question. You must go on a fact finding tour.....
Ugh,,,, like ugh,,, ask her not us. There is no one on this site that can tell you why she has not responded to you.
So, ask her.
Politly get face to face and ask her!!
Wouldn't it poke a hole in your boat if she were a mute or deaf?
---Elder on 9/14/11

We used to attend a church where the pastor's wife would rarely leave the praise and worship area after church. She would always stay up and play the keyboard and didn't visit much. As a pastor's wife now, I know why she did that. Thank God HE made me a strong woman who can withstand criticism. It has amazed me how many people, especially women, attack the pastor's wife. You complain she doesn't speak to you. Maybe she is tired of hearing people complain because she doesn't have time to visit every single person.
---KarenD on 9/14/11

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When you speak to her she honestly says absolutely nothing back to you?

---paul on 9/13/11

Have you made any effort to initiate a conversation?

Some pastor's wives have a policy of having little to do with staff members, such as musicians (whether paid or volunteer) so they don't seem to be interfering.

Any pastor's wife has a very delicate position. She has almost as many critics as does her husband.

In any case, why are you allowing her so much power over you as to make you miserable without her even speaking to you?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/13/11

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