Beth, my understanding of God is that He chooses when we will be born, to whom, and where, and when we will die. Nothing can change that fact. We can change the quality of the life we live, while we live it but not the time. We could be in the greatest shape, do the right things and still die at the right time. It matters not what we do for ourselves, the time is always perfect. That is why people say that there is a reason for everything. Don't blame yourself for anything. Your husband died when God called him. We thank God for the extended time He gives us who are still alive. Peace I leave you.
---Mark_V. on 2/15/12|
Reading through many of these posts helped me to remember that only God can heal a broken heart. God blessed me twice in my life with wonderful loving men. My 1st husband died in 2004 from brain cancer. It took many years for me to heal and only through God's goodness and great love and mercy. The hardest thing for me has been learning to be "alone". God blessed me with another love in 2008 and he died in 2011 from lung cancer. It is still hard to be "alone" but I know that I know...only God heals.. Be blessed!
---beth5439 on 2/15/12|
I lost my husband of 40 years on May 30th to cancer. I attended grief support classes and they just say it is the grieving process, which doesn't help! He had cancer in 2010 and was treated with chemo and radiation, had a clear CT scan 3 months later. 3 months after that the CT scan showed "a couple of nodules" but they were small and would just watch and do another scan in 3 months. In 3 months he had lots of nodules and a mass on his neck (which I later found out also showed up 3 months earlier). I have so much trouble dealing with the fact that we should not have waited 3 months after seeing the first 2 nodules. I may not be a good person to talk to. I'm still very much grieving and angry with the doctor......
---Beth on 12/30/11|
You feel like part of you has been ripped apart. That is because of the verse where the Lord says they will become one flesh My beloved left this earth in may of this yr I've wrestled with the Father on this. How could God get the Glory over my husband dieing of cancer. Well them a dear sister in the Lord gave me a scripture. Precious in the site of the Lord is the death of one of His saints. And I said to myself. He never said how death would come but that it is precious to Him I have heard the Lord tell me he's waiting for me with my parents and that he's eating from the tree of life and more Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. I hope my story helps. Love in Christ )
---Vicki on 11/10/11|
I am so sorry for your great loss.I do understand I just lost my husband of 34 yrs. due to cancer.He was diagnosed almost 2 yrs.ago.I was trusting the Lord for a miracle and to no avail did not get one.I thought The Lord cared about our family and the financial situation it would leave me in.No life insurance no savings.I keep saying Lord "how do I trust you again?"We truly needed a save.All I can do is know He will take care of me emotionally and fiancially.I never knew such depths of pain.I know Jesus was aquainted with sorrow so he knows.It is hard to adjust from caregiver to nothing.Understanding your pain.Lovingly
---S.D. on 10/31/11|
I'm sorry to hear about the lost of your husband due to Cancer.I too have lost my beloved brother through untimely death of heart attack while sleeping.This shocked our family and made me grieved for years.What help me is to think that my brother is now in a better place free from pain(if he was revived he will be surely vegetable or in comma).And even if I would asked him to go back to life and be with us,I am sure he will prefer to be resting at the feet of Jesus than go anywhere else
---mj on 10/19/11|
David, tears always get to me. I don't know how people can go through life without tears. I have cried many times.
Also, if you are the David that ask me that I never had anything good to say to you on another blog, let me say, that I do not agree on many of your believes and only answer you concerning those doctrines. Not you personally. I have seen many answers from you that I agree with but have not comment on them. Sorry I missed not doing that. But this one on tears was very powerful.
---Mark_V. on 10/18/11|
Thank you for the kind words.
There are many gifts from God we tend to overlook.
When I hear a father tell their Sons that boys are not suppose to cry, I always remind them, that our Lord Jesus wept.
I could never imagine losing someone I love, and not being able to cry?
---David on 10/17/11|
Judy, I'm sorry for your loss. I too lost my wife of 35 years of marriage 13 years ago. Our case was different, she went in for a test suppose to take 30 min, and she never came out. They raptured an artery in her heart, and did not tell me for six hours what had happened. When my kids and I were told to meet in a close room I sense something was wrong, but not that she was dead. When the doctor told us she had coded two times but on the third she had died, it was the worse news I ever heard. My kids ran out crying and for hours, I was in shock. If my wife had been sick and suffering for a long time I would have wanted her to die for the simple reason she was in pain, but my wife had no pains. It took me a long time to believe she was gone.
---Mark_V. on 10/16/11|
I also lost my husband to cancer on Sept. 3 after a 4 month illness. We did not accept the doctor's report and were believing God would heal him. It was a disappointment when that didn't happen. We were devastated.
---Mariane on 10/15/11|
Judy, I'm so sorry for what you are going through and your loss. Many of us have gone through that and it can be very hard to many. It will pass but it takes time, and different for others.
David, those were the nicest words of heard concerning tears when you said,
" I thank God he gave us tears, a way in which we can wash away our sorrows.
"Those who sow in tears, shall reap in joy."
I never thought about tears that way. Thank God He gave us tears. And so many other things we take for granted, some times our spouses and we don't realize it until they are gone. Peace.
---Mark_V. on 10/15/11|
I am sorry for your loss. No one is strong all the time, and when we love, we can grieve deeply. Allowing yourself to grieve will help to heal with time. God is always there, even when others are not, and He is our comfort and strength. He loves you, knows all you are going through, and desires you to come to Him with your grief, your weakness, and pour it out to Him. Be blessed.
---Chria9396 on 10/15/11|
judy, I too lost my husband to cancer. We were married 50 yrs and 3 days. The nurses at hospice had an anniversary cake for us. It is still in my freezer after 4 years. When I lost my husband, I thought my world had crumbled. I was so lost I couldn't function. I cried, looked at photos and read letters he had written me over 50 yrs ago. Things will get better even tho it doesn't seem like it. Ask God for grace, He will give it to you.
---shira4368 on 10/15/11|
Pain and suffering comes to all of us,sooner or later. I am sorry to hear of your suffering. It is never easy. You have received some vey good advice and responses from the other bloggers already. Just wanted to say: stay strong and close to God. Believe the word and live it out in your life. It does bring healing and restoration. Don't become bitter or angry at God. All things have a season and a purpose under the sun. I have been there in your place. It is very painful. But God will heal you and bring the sunshine back into your life. Trust Him and love Him. He does know what is best for us. I am praying for you and your family. Hugs
---Robyn on 10/14/11|
Take time to cry. After 40 plus years of marriage, my father left my mom and us - heartbroken. We never thought we would make it (we were all very close) but we are... this time will pass, but please remember - it is okay what your feeling, and it is totally normal. My mom is doing fine, and we remember those beautiful days with him- laughing, when in the beginning we cried alot. - Peace
---Mikeman on 10/13/11|
I recommend that you get alone as often as you can, and just have a good cry.
It's not just a coincidence, people feel better after a good cry. I thank God he gave us tears, a way in which we can wash away our sorrows.
"Those who sow in tears, shall reap in joy."
---David on 10/13/11|
Sorry to hear this Judy, God bless your heart these cases are very difficult since one tries everything only to see all efforts fail.
God still is victor in your life, and i'm sure your husband hated to leave you too.
we'll be praying for you.
---andy3996 on 10/11/11|
Sweet Sister: The best thing you can do is allow yourself to grieve, and experience all the emotions that go with grief, including the anger about your husband's suffering and your loss.
My sister-in-law buried my brother four years ago. He died suddenly, just weeks after double knee surgery, of blood clots in his lung. They were together for 30 years, and she was left with a special needs adult son. She got very involved in serving in the Children's Ministry at our church, as well as the Women's Ministry and Ladies Bible Studies. She reaches out to the women in church at knitting socials and teas. God has comforted her, and strengthened her.
Reach out to the women in your church, and spend time with them.
---Trish on 10/10/11|
My sister in the lord
What I know is that Jesus is the husband of the widow
He said he will send us the holy spirit who is our comfeter, Let him be your comfort.Be blessed.
---ellen on 10/10/11|
Judy (((hugging you)))) I actually walk with people through their grieving process. I lost my father 3 years ago so I know the depth of your pain. You can email me here Donna5535 and then I will give you my personal email address. My heart TRULY goes out to you. I feel your pain. I keep saying the human spirit can't handle the sting of death. But I can help you and I want to help you. Email me, okay?
((((hugging you tightly)))
Love you Judy,
---Donna5535 on 10/10/11|
Dear soul, give yourself time to grieve.
Did you think you were made of different stuff from everyone else?
It takes about two years to get over the death of a spouse.
Be easy on yourself, and know that what you are feeling is natural.
Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 10/10/11|