Why Did Affair Have To End
I just ended a two year relationship he lied saying he loved me and swore he was serving his divorce papers, but suddenly one month ago he told me "this had to end"...we work together and he is now wearing a wedding ring. I feel stupid and used. Can u help me understand?
Moderator - You were sinning by having an affair with a married man. What did you expect?
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---Marce on 2/6/12
Helpful Blog Vote (2)
She did not have an affair by herself. He was a willing participant. He almost ruined his marriage as he made the vows not her. She is not innocent but she is not completely to blame either. It is funny how everyone always wants to blame the other woman in these instances when it clearly takes two to tango.
---pg1 on 6/5/12|
It is truly amazing that one can do whatever one wants to do including things that are truly and clearly sinful and yet rationalize that it is ok.
1 John 3:9 No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for Gods seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.
Strongly suggest that you take a very hard look at what you really should believe especially if you claim to be a Christian.
---lee1538 on 2/19/12|
Marce, P.S., No one's trying to be cold and harsh towards you, here. It's just that sin really is a destructive thing. No matter how shiny and appealing it appears from the start. GOD hates sin, and HE warns about it's ability to completely destroy the ones who play with it. I know from MY OWN personal experience. From my own "getting into sin" as a Christian. It destroyed parts of me that may or may not ever be recovered. And, it's painful. It was not worth it. 'Though GOD is, indeed, Merciful. HE means what HE says in HIS Word. We will reap what we sow. Repent before the LORD, and learn from this sinful error and mistake.
---Gordon on 2/16/12|
Moderator is right. GOD is not mocked. We have to reap what we sow. Marce, you were in a deceiving relationship with a man who was not even divorced yet. Even if he said he would divorce, the point IS is that he wasn't YET. You have believed and lived a lie. This is the result of that.
---Gordon on 2/10/12|
As a "Women of God" our examples are in the Bible - Ruth, Esther and the Proverbs 31 Woman. When God made women, we are the only thing that he created that did not come from the "dust of the ground" that makes you, I and all other women "special". I am sorry that you got hurt but trust me you had a lucky escape. When you do find (and you will) someone who is worthy of you, you will experience what God meant about "Relationship Love". Instead of being angry ask God for forgiveness and to heal and prepare you for the man that you were created for. God Bless You
---The_Believer on 2/10/12|
Instead of degrading her do like John 3:17 says
Marce: God wants what is best in your life. John 10:10. An affair with a married man is not it.
---Scott1 on 2/6/12|
congratulations!! and rejoice that you are FREE from the emotional bondage to a man you allowed to USE you and a man who never loved you
you knew he was married and GAMBLED on the "divorce paper" lie ...a very common ploy by married men that seek out vulnerable women ...be very thankful you are not his wife because you are most likely not the first affair and won't be the last for him
typically those who cheat are narcissistic personalities who have no regard for anyone other than themselves why he could end it and dismiss you so coldly
I recommend counseling to determine why you feel so unworthy of men who are single and available and would make you FIRST in their lives
---Rhonda on 2/6/12|
You should feel stupid, but you were not used. You almost destroyed a marriage. Don't blame him!!! You were a willing participant in this adulterous affair.
---KarenD on 2/6/12|
He used you. He was married, and you should not have gotten involved with him because of that.
Confess your sin. Repent. Move on and learn from this. Never date a married man.
---Trish on 2/6/12|
Like Sag said, you need to make the Savior your husband. You really need to honor this mans decision to focus on his marriage. You dont need to honor him, but his decision to do the right thing. He may have just went through two years of more internal guilt and shame than you can understand. He betrayed His wife, with every touch, word, email, text and thought of you. She is the biggest victim here. Let him go, and cling to God. Your heart may feel ripped out, but you know that it was wrong to do what you two did inside. You will need to heel and it will not happen overnight. Get to know the Master, and make Him your greatest priority.
---Poppa_Bear on 2/6/12|
People need to FLEE from any temptation to have a relationship that is NOT pleasing to GOD.
That includes both SINGLE, and MARRIED, people.
You, and the married man, decided to have a relationship that was NOT pleasing to GOD. Such relationships are doomed to fail. They might be common today, but deplorable in GOD's sight.
I don't know if your relationship was: Emotional, Sexual, or both.
In any case, you need to REPENT of your sin. Ask Jesus Christ to be your husband.
---Sag on 2/6/12|