Divorce For Being Unhappy
It appears it is always about the Woman in the Marriage, I have been Married for 27 years. We have both been unhappy for years and I believe We no longer Love each other,We have tried everything,Will God forgive Me for Divorce,there has been NO abuse or cheating. We are both so unhappy,please help.
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---Ron on 4/3/12
Helpful Blog Vote (2)
unhappiness is no grounds for divorce, and whether you are married with someone or alone by yourself unhappiness occurs. So you should share your emotions with each other rather than alone. And look for ways and things to do together to create some happy times.
---Eloy on 4/20/12|
Ron: In 1 Cor, Paul offers the allow of separating, as longas the two do not remarry
---Peter on 4/20/12|
Do you serve her. This is from a christian counsler friend of mine. "You cannot love someone else, you can only "no greater love than to lay down one's life for another" I choose to lay down my life and go shopping, I choose to lay down my life and watch a chick flick, I choose to do whatever (except sin). This allows God's Love to pass from you to her. At first it is onesided just like Christ loved the church. He was at this point in his marriage many years ago.
---Scott1 on 4/20/12|
Ron: This forum will not allow you to give details. Discussing with true Christian counselors or God's children around you might help better.
---Adetunji on 4/10/12|
In the post below I say "(Philippians 4:2)" is the verse where Jesus says to rejoice. But it is Philippians 4:4 > "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice!" I notice how it does say "always". So, if our attention is to Jesus so we are rejoicing in Him, then what wrong people do is not going to decide how we are, I offer. We are not going to depend on wrong people for being happy.
And joy is included in the "fruit" of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). I consider that fruit takes time to grow sweet and nutritious (c: And then it does not change back and forth to being green and sour (c: but grows ever sweeter and more and more juicy (c: God bless you, too (c:
---willie_c: on 4/8/12|
It says, "Serve the LORD with gladness," in Psalm 100:2. So, yes, as Cluny might mean, there are times we're not glad, but not all the time. Our reason to be happy is that we are with our Father in His love > Romans 5:5 > and do not let wrong people have power to decide how you are > "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21) And Jesus says, when people reject you and persecute you, "Rejoice and be exceedingly glad," in Matthew 5:12. So, I guess it would be more technically correct to say we are happy in God's love to be with Him, though there are times we may feel sad about how wrong people are losing out on this. But Jesus says to rejoice (Philippians 4:2). Jesus is realistic.
---willie_c: on 4/6/12|
"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matthew 19:9
There's no teaching anywhere in the Scriptures that one shall divorce because of unhappiness, that's for sure. As to whether God will forgive us, it's personal between God and yourself. We are not God. He did say,
"For He saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy." Romans 9:15,16
---christan on 4/5/12|
Ron//We have both been unhappy for years and I believe We no longer Love each other
Ron...something had to happened in the marriage if both of you no longer love each other. Love is a choice Ron.
---JIM on 4/5/12|
\\If we are with God, we are happy, because we are obeying Him and committed to loving any and all people,\\
Jesus was ALWAYS with the Father, yet He said, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death." That doesn't sound like He was up on Mount Feelgood.
Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/5/12|
first of all, you need to find your common bond. why did you marry in the first place? how often do you thank God for your mate and thank your mate for things that he does for you? write down all the positive things about your man and then read him the list. just because you do not Feel like you are in love, show him love in the things you do. It takes time to reconnect.
---melia on 4/5/12|
Look to the Lord,it is from Him that you can find help in this time of trouble. Pray. He is the source of love, in fact He is love. May God bless
---Chria9396 on 4/4/12|
If we are with God, we are happy, because we are obeying Him and committed to loving any and all people, whether they give us what we want or not. And if I fail in this, I need to deal with this, instead of whether I am getting what I want from a woman > how about all our Father wants with us??
May be you are unhappy because you are not getting what you wanted . . . what you could want while you were immature Christians?
We can submit to God, now, and start fresh.
---willie_c: on 4/4/12|
Eloy, your suggestion sounded great. Communication is a big key. Don't expect her to read your mind. And let her know you can't read her mind either so you both need to talk to eachother, but in love and understanding.
---Jed on 4/4/12|
If you are able - please find a Christian Counsellor in your church (or maybe even talk to your Pastor). Most people get divorced because of cheating and or abuse but I know that if you both work at it you will be able to fall back in love with each other. Try and remember why you fell in love in the first place, pray together and do things together. Please Read 1 Corrinthians 13. Please don't give up on your marriage
---The_Believer on 4/4/12|
Ron, I married at 18 my wife was 17 . A passionate marriage as two young people.
Problem was we really didn't know each other and as time went on we drifted farther and farther apart.
Divorce was furthest from our minds,but after 29 years we couldn't go on and it ended.
She did not pursue marriage and died single.
I remarried and am very happy!
We married way too young!
---1st_cliff on 4/4/12|
Ron...Sounds like a midlife crisis to me. The Bible says that God hates divorce. Now is the time to start working on what it will take to make your marriage happy since you seem to have waited all these years to do it.
---KarenD on 4/4/12|
Unhappiness is not a good reason to divorce. It's a sign your marriage needs help. Get to a good marital therapist, and learn what you both can do to save your marriage, and bring the happiness back.
---Trish on 4/4/12|
Hello,family the Lord bless you bro.Eloy that sounds excellant! yes,got to start somewhere..most couples experience "dry spells" you both at least respect,wonderfull you both not ever unfaithfull..may you be blessed! marriage very serious and my best wishes go out to you.. healing also,the Lord does on hearts,minds & more for marriages! Love of Jesus!
---ELENA on 4/3/12|
Each of you get a blank piece of notebook paper, and fold it in half lengthwise, then unfold it and draw a line down the crease of the fold which makes two columns: One column title "Thing or Things that make me unhappy", and the 2nd column entitle "Thing or Things that bring me happiness". Each of you fill out the paper, be honest and sincere, spending at least 30 minutes to an hour. Now each of you hand your paper to your spouse, swapping your papers to the other to read. This exercise in sharing communication should help each of you gain knowledge and insight about your spouse. Now both of you have a starting guide to commit to, to working together on taking steps to improve the happiness in your relationship.
---Eloy on 4/3/12|
Obviously, you didn't get to this place all of a sudden.
But why have you waited so long to fix things?
BOTH of you promised each other AND God that you would love and cherish each other for better or worse until death.
That promise still binds, even if you are "unhappy."
Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/3/12|