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When Can We Divorce

What are we to believe when it comes to divorce? In Matthew there is an exception clause (Mt. 19:9), but Mark is definite that one may not divorce (Mk. 10:11) and gives no exceptions.

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The fact is the bible has more scriptures to condemn remarriage that to support it, and it's something people chose to ignore because they are too wrapped up in the world to trust a God who hates divorce.

Try it this way...Two people who never married are in fornication( can marry)

someone who's partner is still alive, cannot re-marry.

For Matt 19:9 indicates the man of God with a unfaithful wife, can marry out of her fornication???
---Carla on 7/20/12

lee1538: IF you are actually faced with a situation of deciding on divorce and you believe in God, please put the question to God to demand what you should do? HE knows perfectly and HE will let you know exactly (not guess) what to do.
---Adetunji on 7/19/12

Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Mark 10:5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
--The best path is forgiveness...
Mat 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
We are talking about Christ followers, are we not?
Heb 3:7-8a Wherefore (as the Holy Ghost saith, To day if ye will hear his voice, Harden not your hearts...
---micha9344 on 7/17/12

I will say if this is the only sin youve committed.
You have nothing to worry about!

I will also say if this is not the only sin youve committed.
For this reason God sent Christ to earth, for the forgiveness of sin.
But, if you dont believe this what hope is there for you?

Well, Christ again! For disbelieve is also a sin.
But, if you dont believe yet, there must be a good reason for it!
For we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
And yet, Rom_3:23!
---TheSeg on 7/16/12

lee, Christ stated:
Mt5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Christ states that fornication is a legal reason for divorce. In Mark he is only stating part of the explination.

Lee, what Christ is saying in Matt 19:9 is that a couple may get a divorce in the eyes of the law, but if they did not get a divorce due to infidelity they are still married in the eyes of God, and to remarry would be to put oneself in an adulterous situation.
In continuance, if there is infidelity, the faithful one has a legal right before God to divorce and remarry.
---trey on 7/16/12

Any woman who remarries is an adulteress, there is NO exception. Any man who divorces his wife and REMARRIES LIVES IN ADULTERY. These are gods enemies.. the woman is opposite to a woman of god, and the man is under the wrath of god.

Becareful who you worship.. Lots to gain worldly for loss of the soul. It is all wicked ..... FOLLOW CHRIST AND ONLY HIS TEACHING
---walrev on 7/16/12

LEE, said: However, there are needs that still must be met.

What needs are they as my God said he will supply all your needs according to his riches in Glory.

Now what?

Is the need that God himself said he would supply, the need to be remarried not once but several times over.

According to this instruction how is riches equated to re-marriage?

---Carla on 7/16/12

There is one CRYSTAL CLEAR exception DEATH.. However Matt 19:9 says except for fornication, now fornication could mean two people unmarried?? as you have rightly pointed out. Further more in view of the scriptures the exception has been distorted by church members so...

The ruling about church members alone deciding cannot be the deciding factor for remarriage... It has to be in line with The WORD says is possible and that is certainly not clear.

God/Christ and Paul defined what constitutes a marriage not the church. Any church can say anything,everything according to their own mouths... scripture says one thing, and gives a clause, others add to it... And do another!
---Carla on 7/12/12

Elena - the book I referenced is the one most pastors will use in counseling people on divorce and re-marriage.

While I hold that divorce is wrong thing to do in general, our culture has changed much over the centuries as marriages are no longer arranged by parents and women have far more right than they did in antiquity.

Issues of this nature, should be settled by the church as they have been given that authority.
---lee1538 on 4/20/12

hello,Lee1538...been keeping up with your are right good percent o'folks most already separated or divorced,on their way get divorce..goin'to check out that book you mention" marriage,divorce & remarriage" by Jay.. Got it 'n my notes so,not chance get to the library.. want read it.thanks!
---ELENA on 4/19/12

I firmly believe your husband is in sin because he is to love you as Christ loved the church and Christ gave His life for the church us.While He corrected the disciples when needed He never was verbally abusive to them.I believe that while adultrey is a reason for divorce if he continues to be either either verbally or physically abusive to you that also is grounds.I frankly doubt he is a true christian.He probably needs to be born again.
---shirley on 4/19/12

Lily, I want you to think about what I am going to say and then compare with Scripture. People do not have free will. No such thing is mentioned in the Bible for a very good reason. If the will was free God could not judge your motives right or wrong. When you make a decision, you are free to make a choice, and the choice you choose will be guided by some motive or desire. Here you will be given many different kinds of advices, but in the end it will be your choice, "your will," your motives, and God judges righteously. Only you know what your motives really are. You know what the word of God says, now you have to make sure your motives are righteous.
---Mark_V. on 4/19/12

I am married, and my husband is verbally abusive, what is worse is he is a Christian, and tells me I need to be submissive to him. He also has a ministry. I am separated from him now, and I am seeking BIBLE Wisdom.
---lily on 4/19/12

MarkV// When the husband brakes the vow, no commandent tells her she has to stay.
Agree with your comment from the scripture. However, if a husband (or wife) is unfaithful or abusive, divorce becomes a matter of justice.
---lee1538 on 4/12/12

Leej, We are told that husbands are "to love their wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her"
When husbands are abusive with their wives or children, verbally or physically, or demanding unreasonable demands, that abusive spouse has broken their marriage vows and the commands of God to love their wives. The wife is not commanded to take the abuse. She is to be submissive because she is obedient spiritually to the Lord. The supreme responsibility of husbands in regard to their wives is to love them with the same undeserved, selfless, and sacrificial love that Christ has for His Church. ( 1 Cor. 22-33). When the husband brakes the vow, no commandent tells her she has to stay.
---Mark_V. on 4/12/12

lee, Divorce is not God's will, but his will is either for people to marry or else to remain single.
---Eloy on 4/11/12

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(I have altered your nickname as you always alter mine. Since you are a Christian and follow the Golden Rule, you must do unto others as you want them to do unto you, and since alter my nickname every time, I can only conclude that you want others to similarly alter yours as well).

You said: strongax, Stay focused, and try to address the blog according to Scripture, for that is what the poster is asking the audience.

Yes, of course I should attempt to stay just as focused on the blog topic as you were when you said: strongax, your ax/axe-edge is still flat. Learn reading comprehension.

However, I am confused as to just which Biblical insights into divorce that offered us. Could you please elaborate?
---StrongAxe on 4/11/12

strongax, Stay focused, and try to address the blog according to Scripture, for that is what the poster is asking the audience.
---Eloy on 4/11/12


You said: strongax, your ax/axe-edge is still flat.

1) This is pure mockery (see previous scripture quotations on why that is bad)

2) It does not address any specific issues about WHY you think it's flat. As the bible repeatedly requires, and as I keep asking you (futiely, unfortunately), please make SPECIFIC accusations and provide 2-3 pieces of evidence, and not just your say-so

3) Such mocking comments without context do absolutely nothing to advance the topic of the blog, since they answer neither the blog question, nor anything else posted here.
---StrongAxe on 4/11/12

strongax, your ax/axe-edge is still flat. Learn reading comprehension.
---Eloy on 4/11/12

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1) My handle is not "strongax". It is "StrongAxe". With an "e" at the end, which you always omit, even though it is always there. How would you like it if people did the same to you, and called you "Elo"? If you wouldn't want others to do it to you, by the Golden Rule, you shouldn't do it to others either.

2) I do not post "antiChristian" things. I DO routinely challenge others when they post things that are either unbiblical (by posting chapter and verse from the Bible to refute them), or if they make wild unsubstantiated claims, I ask that they substantiate those claims the way the Bible itself demands - by the words of 2 or 3 witnesses.
---StrongAxe on 4/11/12

Eloy, you proof you are not sinless over and over. You mock others, call them names, and that comes from your heart. But since you cannot sin, mocking others and calling them names is not sin to you. But let me tell, it is sin to God. You are such a hypocrite. You insist if a person is abusive to their spouse, that spouse has to stay with that person no matter what. Why? Because you are mad your wife left you. If she sees what we see here of you, who wouldn't leave? No one has to stay with an angry, self-righteous person. Both are to be committed to God in order for the marriage to work. The wife to the husband, and the husband to God.
---Mark_V. on 4/11/12

"God does not will divorce" Eloy

You quoted Pv.16:4+ Jn.1:3+ Rev.4:11 to declare He "created marriage". Obviously you don't belief what you quote. Even after quoting these verses you are completely void of the knowledge of who God is with you comments. You think by saying what you say, you are defending God. But let it be known what you say above is you're denying God's Sovereignty.

"The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil."Proverbs 16:4

In order for God to show His power over evil, He must first create evil - afterall He's the creator of everything, isn't it? If He didn't create evil as He declared, where did evil come from?
---christan on 4/11/12

Eloy//God does not will divorce,...

Disagree! When ones mate becomes a Christian while the other is a determined devil, devoted to everything that is evil, God does not leave his children in a lions den but delivers them.

Your view that a believer has to suffer passively is really without any merit.

Perhaps the reason your wife took off, was because either you or her simply could not benefit the gospel. And we often hear of the testimonies of many who fled to the Lord when their mate left them.

And the Lord may find them another suitable mate.
---lee1538 on 4/11/12

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lee, God does not will divorce, God wills marriage and having children. Divorce is the result of sin and infidelity, it is not the result of righteousness and fidelity. When spouses remain faithful, as commanded, then there is zero divorce and zero destruction of the family.
---Eloy on 4/10/12

strongax, is not your coined handle "strongax"? Yes? And do you not commonly post antiChristian things? Yes? So why would you ask for a definition to this: "strongax, your ax-edge is flat"? when this statement ought to be self-evident and self-explanatory to you.
---Eloy on 4/10/12

Eloy//God hates divorce: "And guard your spirit, and with the wife of your youth deal not deceitfully.

God also hates sin but divorce is something God permits or even wills. Take for instance, if you mate choses to be a follower of the devil himself.

I think you would agree with Matthew 19:9 that one may divorce a wife if she is unfaithful or as in your case, your unbelieving mate left you.

1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
---lee1538 on 4/10/12


You said: strongax, your ax-edge is flat. (and nothing else).

No justification, no context - merely mockery. Why do you always mock?

Why don't you try discussing the topic at hand, or responding to the facts in other posts, rather than devoting entire posts to doing nothing but hurling personal insults? Are these verses not in your own self-translated Bible?

Isaiah 28:22
"Now therefore be ye not mockers, lest your bands be made strong: for I have heard from the Lord GOD of hosts a consumption, even determined upon the whole earth."
Jude 1:18
"How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts."
---StrongAxe on 4/10/12

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lee, God hates divorce: "And guard your spirit, and with the wife of your youth deal not deceitfully. For says Yhwh the God of Israel, he hates sending away: for it covers one's garment with violence, says Yhwh of hosts. Therefore guard your spirit and do not act deceitfully." Mal.2:15,16.
---Eloy on 4/10/12

strongax, your ax-edge is flat.
---Eloy on 4/10/12


No, unlike you, I have never claimed to be a prophet. Fortunately, because of this, I will not be subject to the judgment that comes to false prophets.

I say divorces will not end any time soon, because there have been divorces since the beginning of time, and until Jesus returns, there is no sign that this will ever change.

There is nothing in the Bible that says this will change. In fact, the Bible suggests otherwise - that when the Son of Man comes, everything will be "business as usual" - men marrying, women being given in marriage, etc. His coming will catch almost everyone totally unaware. If some things (like divorce) were to change beforehand, that would not be the case.
---StrongAxe on 4/10/12

Strongax, you are no prophet, and therefore you are not eligible to say that divorces will not end any time soon, for you have zero foresight into the future, let alone foresight into tomorrow.
---Eloy on 4/10/12

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Strongaxe, the very reason I opposed Warwich on the five books of Moses is the same reason I oppose what Eloy says. We know what Jesus said about divorce. Jesus knew what was in the mind of those who asked Him about divorce. He never gave details about abuse or other kinds of problems in the marriage. He didn't have to. We know that God is just. Would He be just if He allowed a man to abuse his children or wife their whole life? Legalist say, they have to stay married because God said so. He didn't say to stay married and be abused, or children be harmed. Jesus didn't have to. He was never ask about many other problems in a marriage. When someone reads about a law, they think it is ok and that nothing matters but the law.
---Mark_V. on 4/10/12


It would be nice if nobody ever divorced, but that's an ideal that will never happen any time soon. It would also be nice if we all lived in a Disney-esque world where all endings are happy and everyone sang all the time and singing birds circled around everyone's heads, but that isn't going to happen any time soon either.

Note that Paul explicitly permitted a believing spouse to divorce an unbelieving spouse who did not wish to stay. Do you think Paul was wrong to do that? And if so, why would you be a better judge of God's purposes than Paul was?
---StrongAxe on 4/9/12

Strongax, "acceptable" is not equal to "God's will" nor equal to "willful destruction". Many people today abuse divorce for a license to commit adultery: "They whom are married are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not human put asunder. Moses because of the hardness of your hearts allowed you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. All things are lawful for me, but all things are not beneficial: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not." Mt.19:6,8+ I Cor.10:23.
---Eloy on 4/9/12


Eloy said: The Christian spouse should try to get the evil one to repent and get dedicated to good rather than evil. But you cannot force a person to be faithful

i.e. yes, the good spouse should TRY to get the evil one to repent, but this cannot be done by force, and it is ultimately up to the evil spouse, not the good one.


Paul said it was acceptable for a believer to divorce a disbelieving spouse, if that spouse didn't want to stay married (1 Corinthians 10:7-17).
---StrongAxe on 4/9/12

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Eloy, your wrong. I know why you say what you do,
"lee, No. The Christian spouse should try to get the evil one to repent and get dedicated to good rather than evil."
How can the spouse try to get the evil one to repent? What does he do, whip her, stone her for a while? Only God can convict her heart and cause her to repent. It is not the spouses duty to make another repent. You want to make her repent so that you can have your way. You have no power to make anyone repent. There is many reasons why spouses leave. They lose respect for the other. Are they would not leave. Second, if there was problems in the marriage, someone had to take the first step. Otherwise nothing would change, the problem would still be there.
---Mark_V. on 4/9/12

lee, No. The Christian spouse should try to get the evil one to repent and get dedicated to good rather than evil. But you cannot force a person to be faithful, and if a spouse breaks wedlock, then that sin is on the adulterer and not on the innocent spouse nor children. When a person chooses to leave the marriage for sin, that is not God's will but sin's will, and the wages for sin is death, death to the marriage, death to the blessings, death to every family member, death to the finances. The cost for sin is immeasurable death, physical dismemberment, psychological, spiritual, the results are astronomical destruction and disease and cancer and death, et cetera. This is not God's will to wreck a home and wreck people's lives, but sin's will.
---Eloy on 4/8/12

Eloy would you agree that divorce may be God's will for someone that later converts to the Christian faith and finds themselves living with someone that it totally dedicated to do evil?

Or do you hold the marriage union as something that cannot be undone regardless of the circumstances?

Around half of every church is composed of divorced and re-married people. Should we deny them any of the blessings of the church such as the Lord's Supper, election to church office, make them sit in the lower pews,etc. or should we deny them membership and restrict our communion with them?

We are aware your wife bailed out of your marriage.
---lee1538 on 4/8/12

willie_c: (I) wrote, below >

"And in the early scripture we have a case in which a man discovers his wife is not virgin, therefore she fornicated (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)."

This could be a wrong general statement, because she could have fornicated before being engaged to him, yes, but also she could have cheated while they were engaged, which is a death penalty offense like adultery is > Deuteronomy 22:22-24. So, cheating after engagement may be considered adultery.
---willie_c: on 4/8/12

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Christan, Yes, Jesus created marriage: "Yhwh has made all for himself. All things were made by him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. You are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for you have created all things, and for your pleasure they are and were created." Pv.16:4+ Jn.1:3+ Rev.4:11.
---Eloy on 4/8/12

It says, in my Bible, "except for sexual immorality". It does not say except for adultery. And in the early scripture we have a case in which a man discovers his wife is not virgin, therefore she fornicated (Deuteronomy 22:13-21).

I consider these marital rules are written for ones who intend to obey them and succeed in their marriages. They are written for us to trust God to succeed with us, to do what is possible with Him, not just always come up with problems about a scripture and think of a bunch of bad possibilities.
---willie_c: on 4/8/12

"God created marriage, and man has zero to do with this. When two souls join together into one body..." Eloy

Marriage was created? I know that God created Adam and Eve, and then COMMANDED them "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24 - here lies the ordinance of marriage for mankind from God.

As for "two souls join together into one", God actually said "they shall be one flesh", not soul. There's a great difference between the flesh and the soul. When God saves the sinner, He does not save the flesh but the soul and spirit.
---christan on 4/7/12

//. God's plan is not divorce, but marriage and to bless with children and happy is he whose quiver is full of these.

While God's plan is not divorce, He did permit it in the Mosaic law and if we can believe Mt. 19:9 he did permit it on the grounds of sexual unfaithfulness and also for desertion.1 Cor. 7:15.

Sometimes 2 people find it impossible to live in harmony with each other and divorce or separation is the only answer. However, there are needs that still must be met.

Best reference here is Marriage, Divorce & Re-Marriage in the Bible by Jay E. Adams, used by most counselors.
---lee1538 on 4/7/12

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lee, Yes, God created marriage, and man has zero to do with this. When two souls join together into one body, this is God's work to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and have dominion over it. God's plan is not divorce, but marriage and to bless with children and happy is he whose quiver is full of these. Even when God created the heavenly host, his will was not to have the angel Heylel rebell in heaven and to be cast out: nor when he created Adam and his wife, it was not for them to sin and to be cast out. These disobediences and the consequences thereof is sin's work and not God's. Joining and creating and blessing is of God: and dividing and destroying and cursing is of sin.
---Eloy on 4/7/12

\\What God has joined together ..., let not mankind put asunder."

The question I would beg to ask is whether God has joined together all those who are married? And is this something that is done by a ceremony?

In some cases, divorce is a viable option especially if one of the couple is dedicated to serving the devil and not God.
---lee1538 on 4/7/12

\\"What God has joined together into one body, let not mankind put asunder." \\

Why did youm deliberately misquote the Savior, Eloy?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 4/7/12

If precedence is any indicator as to what decision may be made, we see from earliest church, decisions being made concerning divorce and re-marriage.

I believe the church has been given the authority to make judgments on these matter.
---lee1538 on 4/7/12

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"What God has joined together into one body, let not mankind put asunder." God hates divorce, but he knows that there are irreconcilable differences, you cannot force a spouse to reconcile. For example, if I marry and after a year my spouse sleeps with other people, defiling our marriage bed, I cannot force my spouse to remain faithful. But speaking from experience, divorce is like cutting off one of your arms or legs and having to live out the rest of your life dismembered or maimed, this is not God's plan for people to have their lives maimed or destroyed by their sinful spouses. Divorce should be a very last resort, only after all other remedies have proven futile.
---Eloy on 4/7/12

Christian, those adulterous people include both my children, but i still love them. I wasn't making a judgment, just stating what is.
---John.usa on 4/6/12

"I guess what we can make of it is that there are a lot of adulterous Christians running around out there." John.usa

Like you're running around without sin? Adultery is most definitely a sin and I do not advocate nor support it. But come on, are the sins we commit any lesser than adultery in the eyes of God Almighty? According to God through Paul, there's only one punishment for sin -

"For the wages of sin is death" - direct and precised. That's why we're ALL declared "dead in sins and trespasses"! This is two-folds, we're ALL going back to dust while our spirit to God is already dead, till He shows mercy and grace on your soul and spirit.
---christan on 4/6/12

I guess what we can make of it is that there are a lot of adulterous Christians running around out there.
---John.usa on 4/6/12

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